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Thanks to: blueshocker, cooldas, FUN, Fordina, Jedi Master Ry-On, Care Bear, zara, Dracotk, crystal of psyche, EllaJ.W, Sapphire Goddess, Maya H, The SiLkEn DaWn, Manix, Julia, Debbie4u, KoNy, yamatoforever, Angel Karora, Yaoi Banshee of Death, Kari Ishikawa, Jackie and Nips! You guys are great! :)

A/N: I'm really sorry it took such a long time to get this done, but I accidentally deleted the text before I'd saved it… ~___~ And that's the reason to why this probably is kinnda badly written and short But oh well… please read and review anyway! I *hope* it's okay!

Three Days by ThatGirl

~chapter four, Dear Tk~

Dear Tk     13/3-2002

You gave me those letters you wrote me as soon as my foggy mind had cleared enough for me to be able to read them. And what should I say? "Thank you", maybe? I thought the least I could do was to write something to you. I don't know… Something I do know though, is that this is going to come out totally weird. Everything is still feeling pretty unreal. Like if it's all a delusion. Light, warmth… Dreamlike.

Man, it feels odd to be writing this. A letter, or whatever to call it, to you. But at least I'm glad you didn't burn what you wrote to me, while I was still in a coma.

You have no idea how many times I've tried to figure out a way to begin this. But I guess that this time, I'm just going to let it be, no matter how stupid it sounds.

First of all, I have to say I'm sorry. Sorry for all I've put you through. Or… I suppose I'm not to blame for the accident, but that doesn't stop me from feeling guilty about what you, our parents and our friends have been through. It must've been really tough. I mean…really tough. When I read your letters, I sort of got the feeling of that… You're good at writing stuff down, Tk. Maybe you should consider that when you get older and is to choose what you want to become when you become an adult.

I almost can't believe I'm alive at all.

A miracle.

That's what the doctors told me. The simple fact that I'm recovering is a wonder, they say, but I don't know about miracles and wonders… Not when it comes to me, anyway. I am no miracle, you see, and that's something I know for sure. Don't object to me now, even though I know you will, but miracles are something special.

You asked me if I think it is "better to cry than to be all empty inside" before. And when I get the question like that, so simple and clear-cut, my answer is definitely the same as yours. To cry is way better than to be empty inside, because there's nothing worse than to be like that. You're more dead than alive when you're empty, but still… all the other times and situations when I've asked myself that question, despite the fact that I didn't use the exact same words, I've chosen to be empty rather than to cry. Don't wonder why, for the plain reason that I can't give you an answer to that one. I can't explain it, but… maybe it's easier? At least it's feels easier for me. Just to push it all away, and simply not think about it. You become empty, but you escape the sadness. Maybe I'll think of this if I ever get put in a situation where that is asked question again.

It's strange how I've been dead to the world for three days straight, yet still can feel tired. I slept almost the whole day yesterday. I guess you noticed. You were there when I woke up.

I hope you don't come by today. And don't take that the wrong way, Tk, I just mean that you probably haven't got much sleep the latest time. I was really groggy and pretty much out of it yesterday, but I did see that you had dark bags under your eyes and all in all was looking wearier than I've ever seen you before.

You could've even competed with dad, Tk. Though dad's on the road to recovery anyway. He came by after work this day and wanted to see me. We didn't really talk, he just sat there on the chair beside the bed I'm lying in, but I think he's better now. Mr. 'cough-workaholic-cough' Ishida is back in business, and that has to mean he's well again.

The others are coming by tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that. I haven't seen them in what seems like ages now, mainly because it feels like I've been gone for a hundred years. They weren't allowed to see me while I was unconscious you told me yesterday when I asked. No one but relatives could see me. I must have really been in a seriously critical condition. I know Tai was here, but he hadn't reported himself in those big desks with glass windows on them, the 'Information' by the entrance of the hospital. At least I think that's the name… My head's still a bit foggy and I've got a hard time managing to pick and remember words and names of some things. That's normal the doctors say, and it'll get better while I "recover further". I probably wont even get any other permanent damages out of this either, apart from the scars from the operation they had to do on me. But I can live with scars. As long as I do live, I am perfectly fine with it.

/Matt

A/N: I hope that didn't suck too much… *fidgets nervously* Please Review!

/ThatGirl