Lily and Arabella walked into the girls' communal bedroom laughing, only to find Hazel lying in bed, softly weeping her eyes out. They ran over, putting their arms around her reassuringly. Arabella asked, "What's wrong? Hazel, are you okay?" They all knew that Arabella would hurt whoever had made Hazel cry, just by the tone of her voice.

The shy, sweet girl just looked up at her two best friends with puffy, red eyes. She had apparently been crying for quite a while. "Remus said, that, it would be best for both of us if, if, if h-he and I..." Hazel managed to say, before falling apart completely.

"Oh jeez," Lily whispered. Even if Hazel couldn't say it, they all knew Remus had broken up with her. Lily just shook her head, giving Hazel a squeeze. "Did he say why?"

Hazel tried to speak, but was crying too hard to get the words out. She just shook her head, weeping, holding something on a golden chain she wore around her neck. Lily and Ara both knew what it was: a little gold heart pendant Remus had given her a few monthes ago. Hazel never took it off.

Lily shook her head. "I think I know why, Hazel. I'll be right back. Ara, stay with her, okay?" Arabella nodded wordlessly, scooting closer to Hazel on the bed and just hugging her. As proud and arrogant as Ara could be sometimes, the three girls were closer than sisters.

Lily stormed out of the girls dormitory, fuming all the way down to the Gryffindor common room. She scanned the room quickly, searching for a Marauder, any Marauder. Finally, she found James. He was alone, reading of all things. What were the odds?

"Jamie," Lily said, running over to him. "Go get Remus. Now. I need to talk with him." James just looked at her, his dark eyes confused. "NOW, James! Hurry up. Where's Remus?"

"Um, I think he's in our room. Why?"

Lily shot him The Glare, the one that gave her emerald eyes that dangerous glint, that reminded James she had a red-head's temper. "He broke up with Hazel."

James whistled softly. He instantly knew what had happened, just like Lily had. "Damn it!"

"Damn it is right. Go get him, I need to talk with him. Now."

James just looked at Lily for a second, then nodded. He got up and swiftly headed for the boys dormitory.

James found Remus curled up in a little ball on his bed. "Hey, Moony. What's up?"

"Nothing, Prongs. I'm trying to get some sleep though. Talk to you later," his friend replied. James could hear the tremble in his voice. He was crying, James realized dully. Damn it, now what?

"Moony, come on. Get up, I need you to come down to the common room for a bit."

"James, I'm tired. Please. Today sucked, I need to get it over with as fast as possible." His voice was still shaking.

James sighed. "Look, do I have to get Sirius so he and I can strongarm you down there?"

"Why, James? The worst bloody day of the term, and you want me to go down to the common room when I need sleep. Why?"

"Lily wants to talk with you."

Remus rolled over and sat up in bed. He put his head in his hands. "I was afraid this would happen. I don't want to go, Prongs. Don't make me. Please, James. Don't do this, not now. Maybe tomorrow I'll have the strength to look the girls in the eye. Not tonight."

James just sighed, shook his head. "I think it would be better if you got it over with. Please, Moony. Just hear Lily out. I think she's right."

With a helpless look on his face, Remus stood up. He quietly followed James out into the common room. Lily was waiting for him.

All right, Moony, Remus thought to himself. Time to get this over with. It took him a moment to realize that Lily was already talking. "Bye, James. We'll see you at dinner." Without a word, James left, abandoning his friend to his fate.

Lily smiled at Remus, trying to sound casual, pleasant. "So, Remus, I was just talking to Hazel," she said, watching him closely for a reaction, any reaction. At the sound of Hazel's name, Remus had shuddered, looked away. "And, well, she couldn't quite tell me what had happened between you two. Would you mind filling me in on some of the details?"

Remus just looked at her, dully whispered, "I broke up with her, about an hour ago. I think it's for the best."

"Do you?" Lily asked softly, and Remus nodded, still avoiding her gaze. "Well, let me tell you something. I think I know why you did this. Because of your 'illness', right?" she asked. They all knew better than to talk about Remus's lycanthropy in the common room. He nodded again. "That's not a reason. Hazel knew about it when you two started going out. She doesn't love you any less for that, and you know it."

Remus finally met Lily's gaze then. His eyes, usually a sensitive, friendly grey, were flashing darkly. Lily found herself drowning in his gaze, suffocating in those stormy orbs. Somehow, even after all of these years, she had never realized how dangerous a werewolf could really be. "I'm evil, Lily. A monster. Don't ever forget that." With those words, Remus practically ran back to the boys' dorm. He got back into bed and fell into a fitful sleep, seeing his terrible dreams.



***

Remus was suddenly jolted awake by rough hands shaking his shoulder, a voice whispering furiously at him. "You little idiot! You damned bloody idiot! How stupid can you be?"

"Lemme lone," Remus muttered, rolling over.

The hands would not let him go back to sleep, instead shaking him even more violently. "Nice try, Moony. Get up, you moron! You stupid git!" The insults grew gradually worse, until their severity forced Remus to open his eyes.

It was dark outside, raining. There was only one light on in the room, and it only seemed to lengthen the shadows instead of banishing them. Sirius, a very dangerous sixteen year old, was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking furious. For a second, Remus was afraid that one of his best friends was about to kill him. Then he woke up all the way and realized the truth: Sirius WAS going to kill him.

"Yeah, Sirius? What do you want? What time is it?"

Remus's tall, bad-boy friend just roughly pulled Remus into sitting up. "Why did you do it, Remus? Why?"

"So, who told you." It was a statement, not a question. Not that Remus knew the answer, he just didn't care.

Sirius sighed. "They didn't need to. You and Hazel both skipped dinner. So, I asked James what happened, and the look in his eyes told me all I needed to know. Well, almost everything. Why, Remus, why? The one thing I don't know is why."

"She deserves better. Much better."

"That's bull and you know it!" Sirius practically shouted.

Remus just laughed, a tired, forced, unnatural laugh. "I'm a monster, Padfoot. A monster. One day, I might just tear one of you into little pieces, eat your flesh. I'm a MONSTER! Doesn't that bother you?"

"It never has, it never will. You should know that by now. We don't care if you have a disease! Why would we? I thought you knew us better than that by now." Sirius sounded disgusted, disappointed. "Is that why you broke up with her?"

"I don't think you realize what I'm capable of, Sirius. If there was a full moon tonight, I could transform into a monster right before your eyes, leaving you with no time to get away. Then, I would rip your belly open, sucking out your internal organs one by one. And the sad, sick thing is, you might still be conscious while I do it. Hazel doesn't deserve that, she deserves better. I don't want to hurt her down the line. It's not worth it. I'd rather I break her heart now than kill her later." Remus had begun to cry as he spoke. Little beads of transparent liquid slowly drifted down his cheeks, with him unawares.

"You are so stupid!" Sirius shouted furiously. "Hazel loves you. Do you realize that? She LOVES you! Very few people feel that at sixteen. And you throw it all away on the chance of what might happen in the future... I can't believe that you would willingly lose her. No one in his right mind would give Hazel up, if he had a thing with her like you did. And you threw it all away. You are just plain stupid. You've lost her, Remus. Now you don't have Hazel anymore, because of how much you hate yourself. How is this fair to her at all? She obviously thinks you are worth SOMETHING..." He sighed deeply. "But maybe you're right. After all, you've just ditched a girl because you don't think you are good enough for her. Maybe you're right, maybe you aren't. If you're stupid enough to give Hazel up, then she definitely deserves much better!"

With those words, Sirius left, practically flying out of the room. He didn't even look at Remus as he slammed the door shut behind him.

Remus was shaking. Sirius was right, Sirius was always right. He loved Hazel, she loved him. Maybe, if he asked her again...

Remus was too lost in contemplation to hear James and Sirius whispering outside the door. "I think it worked," Sirius said excitably. "Now we just have to hope I didn't scare him too much."

"Nah," James replied excitedly. "Reverse psychology works every time! Oldest muggle trick in the book!"

***

Hazel did not come down to the common room before breakfast. After arguing with himself for nearly fifteen minutes about what to do, he finally walked up to Lily. "Lily, where's Hazel?"

Lily just smiled knowingly. James had told her about everything he and Sirius had done last night. "I'll go get her." She pushed her smile back. One last piece of intimidation, she thought to herself. "Oh, and Remus?" she said, calmly turning around. "If you hurt Hazel again, the moon will be the least of your worries," she whispered before going up to the girls dormitory.

About five minutes later, a slightly bedraggled Hazel came trudging down the stairs. God, he had hurt her that badly? Her hair was all bushy and loose, not in a braid or a ponytail like it normally was, her glasses were on slightly crookedly, and her hazel eyes were puffy and almost as green as Lily's because she had been crying so much. A gentle gleam from something on her chest, a gold pendant. She hadn't taken off his necklace, there was hope!

Remus wanted to run to her, crush her in his arms. He couldn't, not yet. He had to explain first. "Hazel, I need to talk to you."

"That's what you said the last time," she replied quietly, bitterly. She tried a smile, but it didn't work.

Remus sighed. "I deserve that, and much worse. Come on, let's go talk. Do you mind skipping breakfast?"

Hazel shook her head and muttered, "I wasn't going to come down to breakfast anyway."

Remus sighed. This wasn't going to be as easy as he had been praying it would be last night. Oh well, he did have it coming. After what he put her through. Wordlessly, he led her to the library.

They went the entire trip without speaking. Hazel was fighting back tears. Hadn't he made himself clear? Did he need to break up with her again? This hurt too much. He wasn't looking well, she thought to herself. His mousy brown chin-length hair was all over the place and his grey eyes were troubled. Maybe he was hurting too.

Remus found himself staring, couldn't look away. Hazel was so beautiful. Even when she was in hysterics, she still had that quiet, sweet beauty. She was pure, perfect, holy. How could he have let himself hurt her? He thought about taking her hand, decided to wait.

They sat down together on a couch in the library. Hazel pretended to stare at a bookshelf, while Remus gazed openly at her.

After a long, intense, awkward silence, Remus finally opened his mouth. "Hazel, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I've hurt you like this. I'm so stupid sometimes, you have no idea."

"Why, Remus? Why?" Hazel's voice wasn't bitter anymore. Just sad. Infinitely sad. "Why did you break up with me?" At those words, she began to cry again.

Remus shook as he looked at her, his breath caught in his throat. He tentatively reached out, as though against his will, and tenderly wiped a tear off her cheek. "Because of what I am. Because I'm a monster. Because you deserve better. Because I love you too much. Because the way we were going, some day, I was going to come to on the waning moon with your blood on my lips. Because I don't want that to happen."

Hazel slowly stopped crying. At least, the pain was dulled a little somehow. She reached out, took Remus's hand. "Don't say that. I'm not frightened of you. I understand."

"That's the problem, Hazel! You aren't frightened! I don't want to hurt you because you are trying to help me! Don't you understand? I could be a murderer, I killer, a cannibal! I have the potential to be all of that, and worse, and you aren't afraid of me!"

She shook her head gently, whispering, "Of course I'm frightened of werewolves. I'm just not frightened of Remus Lupin. I'm not frightened of YOU at all, and I would hope I have common sense enough to run away should I be alone with you during a full moon!" Hazel managed a ghost of a smile.

Remus was overcome. He could not speak, he could not laugh or cry. He could only reach out to her, pull her close. He kissed Hazel's forehead, whispering softly in her ear, "I love you," over and over again.

"I love you too," Hazel replied immediately.

Remus suddenly found it in him to laugh again. "How can you love a monster like me?"

"Not a monster, never a monster. Has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?" Remus shook his head. "Well, you have beautiful eyes."

Remus put a finger to Hazel's chin, tilted her head up. The kiss was sweet, gentle, like their love, and it seemed to go on forever.