Title: Insomnia
Author: Nimue – kathrynf@gmx.net
Jan 26th, 2002
Disclaimer: I don't own them.... Bellisarius Productions, Paramount and CBS do... No infringement intended.
Summary: Just a strange piece of fluff that came to me this evening. My first JAG fanfic ever…
Rating: PG–13
Author's Note: Thanks to Nancy for the encouragement. And to Yaelie and Coff for the beta.
Harm sighed as he thought back to what had happened the past days, weeks, months. He just couldn't get it – her – out of his head. There was something in her eyes that haunted him even in his dreams. Something she would never speak out loud, he was sure of that. They spoke of a gentleness and something more whenever she looked at him. Could he dare to hope that it was more than friendship? Of course, that evening on the Admiral's porch she had kissed him. She had made the first step. But why had she done so? What had happened between them to seperate them? Why did everything have to be so very messed up?
He tossed and turned in bed, unable to find rest. He didn't know how much longer he would stand the tension that seemed to dominate the air whenever they were close to one another. What had happened to pull them apart? He found the answer surprisingly easy this time. Mic had happened. Renee had happened. How could he have let it come that far? This answer didn't come that easily. He couldn't pinpoint a special month, nor date when it had started. They had just grown apart more and more the past month.
He had been stupid to assume she cared for him the way he did. Having almost convinced himself of that, he squeezed his eyes shut, determined to get at least some sleep before he had to get up again.
It had always come down to the same routine the past months. He would lie in bed, thinking about his life, or lack thereof, and what he needed the most. Then he would realize that he had imagined whatever was between them, and try to tell himself that it wasn't her he needed. Sometimes he would tell himself to let go of her, sometimes his mind would scream at him to tell her about his feelings and get over and done with it. He would then promise himself to do exactly that and live with the consequences. Usually this was about the time he got scared. It sounded ridiculous even to his ears. Harmon Rabb Jr. was scared?
It just wasn't the way he was. He was never scared of anything. But that had changed when she had stepped into his life. She had sneaked herself into his office, his life and, ultimately, his heart. There was something in her eyes that haunted him even in his dreams.
She was there whenever he closed his eyes. Smiling at him, kissing him, loving him. As sleep finally claimed him, she was there, waiting for him, drawing him into her sweet embrace, her brown orbs never leaving his.
***
Something invaded his dreams, rousing him from his light slumber. It was all he could do these days, hoping that one morning he would actually wake up relaxed at awake. He had to admit that it had been a long time since that had happened. A very long time. If the circles under his eyes were any indication it had been weeks, maybe even months.
There it had been again. A familiar sound. He tried to place it, tried to pinpoint where it was coming from. Door? Was it someone knocking at his door?
His curiosity got the better of him as he forced himself to check the front door.
"Someone there?" He asked, his voice thick with drowsiness.
"Yeah," came the reply. "Let me in, please?" She asked.
He complied, sliding back the door to let her in. She noticed his muffled hair and his attire. He followed her gaze, looking down at himself. There he was, standing in front of the woman he loved clad only in boxers.
"What can I do for you, Mac?" He asked, trying to break the tension that was cutting through the room again.
"Did I wake you?" She inquired in return, not bothering to answer his question.
"You did. Don't worry about it. What time is it, anyway?"
"7 am," she answered grinning.
"It's a Sunday, Mac, what are you doing up that early on a Sunday morning? And more important, what are you doing at my place at this time?"
"I don't know. I was jogging, and suddenly found myself here, standing in front of your apartment."
"Then come in and have a seat," he grinned. "Can I get you anything to drink?"
"Water would be nice," she answered, as she made her way to his couch. He sat down beside her after he had filled two glasses, handing one to her. She sipped the cool liquid thankfully.
"So, what's on your mind, Mac? Please tell me."
He saw her gulping, then taking a deep breath, as if she was bracing herself for the task at hand.
"Harm, you made some comments last week, about Sturgis and myself getting closer and closer and that you felt as if we had some kind of secret we weren't willing to tell you."
Harm tensed, closing his eyes. This couldn't be true. This just couldn't be true. Mac and Sturgis?
"I accidentally told him something I shouldn't have. And now he keeps bugging me about it. About telling you." She gulped again.
"Telling me what?" Was his voice trembling? Since when had he been a coward? Since when had he been afraid of anything? He knew the answer to it, and it came so easily when she was around. He had been afraid of losing her ever since he had met her.
"Harm?" She asked, worried as she noticed him tensing.
He squeezed his eyes tightly shut. "Tell me, Mac," he managed.
"I told him that-" she paused, taking another deep breath. "That I am in love with you, Harm."
His eyes flew open and he stared at her, his mouth agape. "I am sorry, what did you just say, I think I was, uhm, imagining things."
"If you heard me saying that I am in love with you, your weren't imagining things."
He shook his head as if to clear his mind, then continued to stare at her.
"Harm, you're scaring me. Say something."
"You love me?" He stuttered.
"Yes, is that so hard to believe?" Her brown orbs begged him to say something intelligent, something that would give her any indication as to where they stood.
As his lips touched hers, a light feathery touch, she was sure she was imagining things. She hadn't noticed she had closed her eyes waiting for him to answer, and she didn't notice it now. But then the feathery carress returned, and she opened her eyes to find his hovering so very close.
As his lips descended onto hers again, she returned the kiss. It developed a life of its own, her hand sneaking around his neck, drawing him closer. Neither of them wanted to break for air, but after what seemed an eternity they didn't have a choice.
He hugged her to him, savoring the feel of her form cuddling so close to him. He buried his face in her hair, breathing her scent. It was then, he realized that he still owed her three words.
He took a deep breath, and lifted her chin with his fingers.
"I need sleep," he breathed, as his head dipped down to capture her lips briefly. "I haven't really slept in weeks."
"That's all?" She laughed.
"I want you there, in my bed, cuddling close to me, every night for the rest of my life. You think you'll be up for it?" He grinned at her sheepishly.
"I'm all game," she smiled.
He got up and disappeared in his bedroom. The creaking of the bed could be heard as he settled down. "You coming or what?"
"You're terrible, flyboy," she called on her way after him.
"That's why you love me so much."
She leaned at the doorframe, grinning at him. "Is it that obvious?" Mac teased.
"You coming or not, Ninja girl?"
"Persuade me," she challenged.
He sighed. "For once I want to sleep tight for the first time in over a month and she is asking me to persuade her," he muttered under his breath.
"Okay, okay," she took pity with him, slipping under the covers next to him, cuddling close. "Sleep tight, Harm," she whispered, as she brushed her lips against his.
"Love you too, Sarah," he smiled before sleep claimed him.
The End
Author: Nimue – kathrynf@gmx.net
Jan 26th, 2002
Disclaimer: I don't own them.... Bellisarius Productions, Paramount and CBS do... No infringement intended.
Summary: Just a strange piece of fluff that came to me this evening. My first JAG fanfic ever…
Rating: PG–13
Author's Note: Thanks to Nancy for the encouragement. And to Yaelie and Coff for the beta.
Harm sighed as he thought back to what had happened the past days, weeks, months. He just couldn't get it – her – out of his head. There was something in her eyes that haunted him even in his dreams. Something she would never speak out loud, he was sure of that. They spoke of a gentleness and something more whenever she looked at him. Could he dare to hope that it was more than friendship? Of course, that evening on the Admiral's porch she had kissed him. She had made the first step. But why had she done so? What had happened between them to seperate them? Why did everything have to be so very messed up?
He tossed and turned in bed, unable to find rest. He didn't know how much longer he would stand the tension that seemed to dominate the air whenever they were close to one another. What had happened to pull them apart? He found the answer surprisingly easy this time. Mic had happened. Renee had happened. How could he have let it come that far? This answer didn't come that easily. He couldn't pinpoint a special month, nor date when it had started. They had just grown apart more and more the past month.
He had been stupid to assume she cared for him the way he did. Having almost convinced himself of that, he squeezed his eyes shut, determined to get at least some sleep before he had to get up again.
It had always come down to the same routine the past months. He would lie in bed, thinking about his life, or lack thereof, and what he needed the most. Then he would realize that he had imagined whatever was between them, and try to tell himself that it wasn't her he needed. Sometimes he would tell himself to let go of her, sometimes his mind would scream at him to tell her about his feelings and get over and done with it. He would then promise himself to do exactly that and live with the consequences. Usually this was about the time he got scared. It sounded ridiculous even to his ears. Harmon Rabb Jr. was scared?
It just wasn't the way he was. He was never scared of anything. But that had changed when she had stepped into his life. She had sneaked herself into his office, his life and, ultimately, his heart. There was something in her eyes that haunted him even in his dreams.
She was there whenever he closed his eyes. Smiling at him, kissing him, loving him. As sleep finally claimed him, she was there, waiting for him, drawing him into her sweet embrace, her brown orbs never leaving his.
***
Something invaded his dreams, rousing him from his light slumber. It was all he could do these days, hoping that one morning he would actually wake up relaxed at awake. He had to admit that it had been a long time since that had happened. A very long time. If the circles under his eyes were any indication it had been weeks, maybe even months.
There it had been again. A familiar sound. He tried to place it, tried to pinpoint where it was coming from. Door? Was it someone knocking at his door?
His curiosity got the better of him as he forced himself to check the front door.
"Someone there?" He asked, his voice thick with drowsiness.
"Yeah," came the reply. "Let me in, please?" She asked.
He complied, sliding back the door to let her in. She noticed his muffled hair and his attire. He followed her gaze, looking down at himself. There he was, standing in front of the woman he loved clad only in boxers.
"What can I do for you, Mac?" He asked, trying to break the tension that was cutting through the room again.
"Did I wake you?" She inquired in return, not bothering to answer his question.
"You did. Don't worry about it. What time is it, anyway?"
"7 am," she answered grinning.
"It's a Sunday, Mac, what are you doing up that early on a Sunday morning? And more important, what are you doing at my place at this time?"
"I don't know. I was jogging, and suddenly found myself here, standing in front of your apartment."
"Then come in and have a seat," he grinned. "Can I get you anything to drink?"
"Water would be nice," she answered, as she made her way to his couch. He sat down beside her after he had filled two glasses, handing one to her. She sipped the cool liquid thankfully.
"So, what's on your mind, Mac? Please tell me."
He saw her gulping, then taking a deep breath, as if she was bracing herself for the task at hand.
"Harm, you made some comments last week, about Sturgis and myself getting closer and closer and that you felt as if we had some kind of secret we weren't willing to tell you."
Harm tensed, closing his eyes. This couldn't be true. This just couldn't be true. Mac and Sturgis?
"I accidentally told him something I shouldn't have. And now he keeps bugging me about it. About telling you." She gulped again.
"Telling me what?" Was his voice trembling? Since when had he been a coward? Since when had he been afraid of anything? He knew the answer to it, and it came so easily when she was around. He had been afraid of losing her ever since he had met her.
"Harm?" She asked, worried as she noticed him tensing.
He squeezed his eyes tightly shut. "Tell me, Mac," he managed.
"I told him that-" she paused, taking another deep breath. "That I am in love with you, Harm."
His eyes flew open and he stared at her, his mouth agape. "I am sorry, what did you just say, I think I was, uhm, imagining things."
"If you heard me saying that I am in love with you, your weren't imagining things."
He shook his head as if to clear his mind, then continued to stare at her.
"Harm, you're scaring me. Say something."
"You love me?" He stuttered.
"Yes, is that so hard to believe?" Her brown orbs begged him to say something intelligent, something that would give her any indication as to where they stood.
As his lips touched hers, a light feathery touch, she was sure she was imagining things. She hadn't noticed she had closed her eyes waiting for him to answer, and she didn't notice it now. But then the feathery carress returned, and she opened her eyes to find his hovering so very close.
As his lips descended onto hers again, she returned the kiss. It developed a life of its own, her hand sneaking around his neck, drawing him closer. Neither of them wanted to break for air, but after what seemed an eternity they didn't have a choice.
He hugged her to him, savoring the feel of her form cuddling so close to him. He buried his face in her hair, breathing her scent. It was then, he realized that he still owed her three words.
He took a deep breath, and lifted her chin with his fingers.
"I need sleep," he breathed, as his head dipped down to capture her lips briefly. "I haven't really slept in weeks."
"That's all?" She laughed.
"I want you there, in my bed, cuddling close to me, every night for the rest of my life. You think you'll be up for it?" He grinned at her sheepishly.
"I'm all game," she smiled.
He got up and disappeared in his bedroom. The creaking of the bed could be heard as he settled down. "You coming or what?"
"You're terrible, flyboy," she called on her way after him.
"That's why you love me so much."
She leaned at the doorframe, grinning at him. "Is it that obvious?" Mac teased.
"You coming or not, Ninja girl?"
"Persuade me," she challenged.
He sighed. "For once I want to sleep tight for the first time in over a month and she is asking me to persuade her," he muttered under his breath.
"Okay, okay," she took pity with him, slipping under the covers next to him, cuddling close. "Sleep tight, Harm," she whispered, as she brushed her lips against his.
"Love you too, Sarah," he smiled before sleep claimed him.
The End