CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR
Twas the Night Before Imbolc . . .
On the night before Imbolc, Giles had a final meeting at Buffy's house with the Scoobies to go over last minute details. Everyone was a little on edge. They'd been preparing nonstop for the big battle. They were ready to roll. When Giles declared the meeting adjourned, they all started off in their own directions. But Giles asked Buffy and Spike to hold back for a moment.
"What's the deal?" Buffy asked, plopping back down onto the couch with Spike at her left. "Is there some secret nasty we need to hunt?"
"Well, not literally," Giles said. "It's just something I feel I need to say."
"Sounds serious."
"I believe it is. I am no longer officially your watcher. But you've let me fall back into my old role this last week and in that capacity, I feel I should point this out."
Buffy and Spike exchanged a concerned glance. Their first assumption was that it was about their relationship.
"When I first got here, you told me how you found out that you were immortal from the Guide in the desert and how it was confirmed by the wound you received at the hands of one of Anyanka's old victims and yet again by the Diamond of Gunab. But it doesn't seem that you've spent much time since then considering what this immortality means. I know it's not something you chose. But nevertheless it's a part of who you are now."
Giles's words rang in Spike's ears, "I know it's not something you chose." With everything that had been happening, Spike had almost forgotten. The Guide had also told Buffy that she had chosen to come back of her own free will. She'd told him, but not anyone else. He guessed it was because she didn't believe it. He glanced at her and the look was returned briefly. If she knew what he was wondering about, she gave no hint. It was something he thought he should bring up to her later.
"In terms of your weaknesses for instance . . ." Giles continued.
"I've gotten a few speeches from the undead here," Buffy said with a shrug.
"Yeah," Spike agreed, pushing aside the other issue in his mind. "But she wouldn't listen to me until after something happened."
Giles looked from one to the other of them. "Is there something you haven't told me about?"
"She got badly burned by one of the Fire demons," Spike said. "I tried to warn her beforehand, but she wouldn't listen to me. Just gave me the bird."
"How serious was this injury?" Giles asked.
"Not very," Buffy said.
"Bad enough for you to want to keep it a secret from Dawn," Spike said. "It didn't heal as readily as most of her wounds do."
"That's not altogether surprising. "Fire is the one element that all creatures must fear," Giles said. "Even immortals."
"That's what I told her!" Spike said with a sneer. "But she wouldn't listen to me. Took offense cos she thought I was giving her too much advice."
Buffy made a face at Spike and he returned it.
It was all Giles could do to keep from rolling his eyes. These two were such children sometimes. "Buffy. You need to consider what might be dangerous to you. Fire is one thing. Beheading I'm sure is another. You might also die after having your neck broken. And a sword embedded in you long enough may cause sufficient bleeding to kill you. Suffocation I'm assuming is a danger, since you still need to breathe. In short, immortality doesn't translate into invincibility."
"Check," Buffy said lightly. "The evil undead here has already been singing me that song."
"Has he also talked with you about the possibility that Dawn may grow old and die before you, along with the rest of your mortal friends? Meanwhile, you and Spike will remain as you are now, perhaps even outliving Dawn's great great grandchildren."
The levity in Buffy's face drifted away.
"Didn't tell her that," Spike said, "cos it didn't occur to me. I've never hung around with humans before."
"Well, you are now. So, it's something you both need to face. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But within a few years, Buffy, you may start to notice signs of Dawn's aging. Suddenly she will appear to be the older sister. And then she will seem old enough to pass for your mother. And then she will look old enough to be your grandmother and then . . ."
"I get the picture!" Buffy said. "I just haven't wanted to think about it."
"At some point you will have to. And you need to talk to Dawn about it too. Being immortal makes you a greater warrior perhaps. But it also makes a normal life more difficult."
"That part I got."
"You still have me, Luv," Spike said, taking her hand in his.
"On a more positive note, I think your immortality has solved your money problems," Giles said.
"Scuse me?" Buffy said.
"While I was in the U.K., I tried to get the Watcher's Council to agree to pay you some kind of salary or stipend. But they were adamantly against it. I think they're still angry that you slighted their representatives the last time they were here."
"Dusty old wankers," Spike said.
"Yes, I believe they are," Giles agreed. "I pointed out to them that with Faith in prison, you are likely to be the main slayer for quite some time. But they didn't care. Their collective pride had been wounded."
"Didn't you say there was something positive in all this?" Buffy asked. "Something about my money problems being solved?"
"Yes, I'm getting to that. Anyway, since I found out about your immortality, I thought I should have another go at the Council. I pointed out that in your new state you were likely to become something of
a Master Slayer who would probably outlive Faith and whoever is called after her. I suggested that being on the bad side of such a potentially powerful being is not a good thing and that it would be in their own best interests to keep you on their side."
"And how did they like that?"
"I think they found your immortality a bit frightening. Especially when I mentioned your alliance with Spike. They decided I was right after all and they will be issuing you a monthly stipend effective immediately, mapped out to my specifications. And I will be acting as their go-between."
"So, they're scared of me?"
"Perhaps a little."
"Well," Buffy said, "I don't know how I feel about being eternally allied with the Council. But at least Dawn will be taken of."
"Speaking of allies . . ." Giles continued. He took off his glasses and paced a few steps.
"Uh oh," Buffy said. "Now we're in trouble. He's about to say something he knows we don't want to hear."
Giles put his glasses back on and straightened them properly before speaking. Since he'd gotten back, he seemed even more tweedy and British. "It's just that, speaking in terms of immortality, you must begin finding yourself some long time allies. It's all fine and good that you have Spike. But the more allies you have the better. As much as you don't like the Council of Watchers, they have been around in one form or another since the time of the first slayer. They will probably be around for a long time to come as well. They can serve as a long time ally for you. In addition to them, I think you should consider making a stronger alliance with Angel and his group as well."
Buffy looked down thoughtfully.
"Not the poufer!" Spike said.
"I know you don't like the idea, but I spoke to Angel just after the first of the year. I think you'll find that things have moved on a bit for him. I very much doubt that he'll be judgmental of your relationship, if that's what you're worried about."
"What does that mean?" Buffy asked.
"I'll let him tell you," Giles said. "Just suffice it to say that this has been an interesting year for him too. And since one of his closest operatives may also have become long-lived, it would be advantageous for you to form an alliance. Maintaining one with the Shadows would also be a good idea. They're a long lived species and might be of some help to you in the future. In short, I'm telling you to do a bit of long range planning. Which in your case, could be very long indeed."
Buffy looked to Spike. He tightened his grip on her left hand and she added her right one to the mix. What was it the Desert Guide had said to her? The journey through eternity can be very lonely? Well, at least she seemed to have one long term partner. Giles was right to prod her about the rest. "All right," Buffy said. "As soon as this Imbolc thing is over, I'll talk to Angel and the Council of Watchers."
- - - - - - - - - -
Dawn and Zachary were sitting outside on the back porch of Buffy's house. She was sitting on the next lowest step, leaning back against him. He had his arms around her. The sky was full of stars and the air was warmer than it had been. But they didn't seem to notice the romance of the night. Their minds were centered on other things.
"You sure you want to go through with this?" Dawn asked. She didn't have to say what "this" was. He knew. It was the Imbolc battle.
"I'm sure," Zachary said. "If you go, I go. Besides, I don't think Spike would let me back out now. He's put too much time in on me."
Dawn smiled. "Yeah. He does seem to think you're his own private creation. I just want you to know that I think what you're doing is incredibly brave."
"No more than for you."
"It's different with me. Slaying's almost the family business. I couldn't avoid it if I wanted to. Sometimes Buffy thinks she can protect me from it. But she can't. Sooner or later some big monster comes crashing in the door looking for the Slayer and there I am involved. Anyway, how can I not get involved? Her being the slayer brought me into being in the first place. Don't forget I'm not really even real."
He nuzzled her neck, enjoying the warmth of her soft long hair. "You feel real to me."
Dawn giggled. "You know what I mean."
"Well, whatever you started out as, you're real now. You may not live a normal life, but then who in SunnyD does?"
"Your family is pretty normal."
"I guess. But when that dancing demon guy came to town, they still sang and danced like everyone else. There was a male chorus in my dad's hardware shop singing the praises of duct tape. And the people in my mom's office did some kind of tap number."
Dawn laughed out loud and cuddled closer to him.
"But now they act like none of it ever happened. SunnyD-nial. That's what I call it."
"I like that. SunnyD-nial."
"So, I figure you and your sister are just being more realistic than the rest of the town."
"I love you, Zachary. You know that?" Dawn asked, looking up.
Zachary's breath caught for a moment and his heart beat so loud he was surprised it didn't echo across the lawn. "I love you too," he whispered. And then he kissed her.
- - - - - - - - - -
Anya was still a little worried that D'Hoffryn might be watching her. With only one night to go, she thought they shouldn't take any chances. So she and Xander decided to spend the night in a motel. It was rather fun really. They had dinner in their room and then made love leisurely in the king sized bed.
As they burrowed together under the covers afterwards Xander said, "I'm coming home tomorrow night after the battle. This is absolutely the last time we go sneaking around.
"I agree," Anya sighed, running her finger down his chest. She found his ticklish spot and teased it a little. "The bed in our apartment has been entirely too lonely. And I've already granted Dawn a small wish that can be reversed without trouble when we smash my amulet."
"So . . . are you excited about tomorrow?"
"Excited?" Anya considered the word. "I guess I am. Are you?"
"Me? No. It's just another job. Go in, fight the bad guys, save the world. You know. Just an ordinary night."
"It's pretty much the same for me."
"Not quite. Without you, we couldn't get inside the warehouse from above ground. We'd have to go it slow from underneath and might not even make it in time. You're of major importance."
"Yeah, I guess I am," she said with a contented smile. "I like that part. I like being more to the group than just your girlfriend."
"You know, I'm very proud of you?"
Anya sat us so she could see Xander's face. "Really?"
He squeezed her hand. "Really. You know, I haven't even seen you in your demon face yet."
"No, I guess you haven't. I've really only worn it around Tara and the Shadows . . . And Giles of course. He's the one who's taken me to the meetings with the Shadows."
"You wouldn't mind showing it to me. I mean, I want to be able to pick you out of the crowd tomorrow."
She looked mildly worried. "You're sure? I mean, I know you weren't real happy in the beginning about my doing this."
"I'm sure."
"OK, then. If you're sure." Anya concentrated and shifted out of her human face into her demon one. She did it slowly so as not to shock Xander too much.
Xander looked at her carefully, considering each veiny inch of the unfamiliar face. "You know, I think you look just as good this way."
"You do?"
"Absolutely." He put his hand to her cheek gently. "I love you, no matter what face you have on. And like I said, I'm really proud of what you're doing . . . Even if it made me feel out of control . . . And even if I had to move out for a while and spend the better part of my evenings watching television with Spike. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."
Anya's demon eyes were getting watery. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me too. I waited a thousand years to find someone like you."
- - - - - - - - - -
Doc placed his hands on Willow's head. It was their final session and he considered it a mere formality. He was convinced that she believed everything he'd been telling her. That the counter spell they'd done to cancel out Buffy's resurrection was only the first part of the whole spell, done to prepare Buffy for her return to heaven. "Tomorrow night," he whispered hypnotically in her ear, "we will open the portal to guarantee Tara's return to life and Buffy's return to heaven. This will turn back time and set everything to where it should be. Can you imagine how happy Tara will be to see you?"
The real Tara of course was standing by in her invisible format. She had no eyes to roll at that moment, but if she had . . .
"And think how glad Buffy will be to go back to heaven. You will be the bearer of so much happiness, my dear. It will be wonderful."
"Happiness," Willow repeated. Her mind kept quiet as Doc talked, with hardly a personal thought at all. He took it as a sign of her acquiescence.
"We will bring you up to the Imbolc festival just before midnight," Doc continued, "where you alone will enter the pentagram. The members of your coven will gather around you. The rest of us will light the ceremonial fires to welcome back the sun. Before you know it, Tara will be back with you again. You won't have to wait much longer, my dear. Hardly any time at all."
When their session was complete, Doc left Willow's magical enclosure confident of his success. Rack was waiting just outside to talk over some last minute things.
"Is everything ready?" Doc asked.
"Yes," Rack answered. "I've told everybody but a few guards upstairs to get extra rest tonight since tomorrow there will be no sleep for anyone."
"Good, good."
At that point, Ledic came from the opposite end of the tunnel corridor. He knew approximately how long Doc's session would last and he'd been waiting around the bend till he heard their voices advancing toward him. He gave Rack and Doc a respectful nod as he passed, but they didn't even notice him. He was a lackey, after all. No more worthy of notice than a crack in the wall. Rack saw the Fire demons as ugly but useful animals, nothing more. Doc saw them in a similar light. The only tolerable thing about them as far as he was concerned was their faint relation to the lizard family. They thought so little of his race's intelligence that they didn't even wonder why Ledic was there at an hour when most of the other Fire demons were resting. They didn't even consider him capable of deceit. To them, he and the other Fire demons were just children that could be promised and punished into working for them. Of course this kind of thinking made Ledic's job much easier.
As soon as Doc and the warlock were well out of sight, Ledic gestured toward Willow's enclosure. He couldn't see Tara, but he was pretty sure she was there. She always tried to be present during Doc's sessions.
Tara appeared at Ledic's signal and returned the wave. Then Ledic went back around the bend in the tunnel to keep watch and give Tara and Willow some privacy.
Tara went to solid form and slipped her arms around Willow. "Don't listen to him," she whispered in Willow's ear. "You already have me back. I'm here with you right now. And I'm never going to leave you again. That other voice you hear is lying to you, Honey. Don't listen to him. Tomorrow we're going to free you from all this. And then we'll be back together in our own bed."
Tara kissed her lover gently and stroked her cheek. Willow's eyes were closed because she was still in a trance state, but her eyelids fluttered at Tara's touch. For some reason Tara started humming to Willow. It was an old lullaby that she remembered her mother singing to her when she was very little. She couldn't recall the words anymore, only the melody. Still, she hoped it would reach Willow and bring her comfort.
- - - - - - - - - -
Buffy and Spike were patrolling through the cemetery. Buffy was very much into it. She had a stake in hand and was peering left and right behind every bush and tombstone. Spike dragged behind glumly. This wasn't the evening he'd planned. Buffy had said she needed to work off some excess energy. He understood because it was the night before the big battle and all. But he had his own ideas about how to work it off. Still, she had insisted this was the best way to do it. So far, they'd dusted two fledgling vamps and rescued a couple who were making out in the grass near the entrance from some kind of feathered demon Spike had never seen before.
"Slayer, isn't that enough?" Spike whined. Buffy was dusting a third vamp that she'd flushed out from behind a cluster of trees. "There's going to be plenty of demon slaughtering tomorrow night."
"Not done yet," she said, not bothering to look at him. "We should make one more round."
"Slayer! Why are you doing this? You upset about what the old Watcher said?"
Buffy stopped. As usual Spike had put his finger on the issue. But it wasn't exactly what he thought. She wasn't acting out in denial this time. "Maybe that's part of it," she admitted. "I didn't like thinking or talking about all that. But, I know he's right. I'm going to do what he said. I'm just working out my emotions about it in the best way I know how."
Spike put his hands on his hips. "Fine. Well, I don't see any other demons. I think that's all we're gonna get tonight. So, I'm going home and leaving you to work things out." And with that, he turned and started away.
Buffy frowned for a moment. Then she ran after him, leaping into the air at his back and yelling, "Hey-ya!"
The force of her weight knocked them both to the ground. They rolled over several times till they came to a stop with Buffy on top. "Since you're the only demon around here right now, guess I'll have to settle for pummeling you," she said, sitting up.
"Now that's more like what I had in mind," he said easing his hands under her leather jacket.
Buffy responded by rolling them over again and tossing him at the foot of a tree. The fight was on. They tussled for some time, their sparring becoming more and more impassioned. Finally they retired to his crypt to complete their dance. Their lovemaking was intense and eager. A marathon of touching and kissing and rubbing. Their clothes went every which way and their exclamations were unfettered by the presence of little sisters and middle-aged watchers. It was a bit like old times actually, a marathon session that began in the upper area of the crypt and ended in the bed below. Spike wondered if this was really what Buffy had been planning all along, a shagging trip down memory lane.
Afterwards, as they lay in bed together listening to the sounds of the night Spike said, "All we need now is for it to rain."
"What?" Buffy asked.
"Don't you remember? It was the night you lost that bloody job. We wrestled outside like tonight. Then we came in when it started raining. I fell asleep with my arm around you. I expected you to be gone when I awoke. Only you weren't. You fell asleep too. Your staying there that extra time sleeping told me I had a chance. Ever since then, I've loved the sound of rain."
"Now that sounds like William the poet talking."
Spike laughed. "The wanker had one or two good ideas. Romance and poetry have their place."
"Mmm," Buffy answered, burying her face in his chest and preparing for a nap. "So does a good sparring session with a demon."
Since they were both relaxed and content, Spike thought it was a good time to bring up the subject that had occurred to him during their private meeting with Giles. "Buffy . . . why didn't you tell Giles that you chose to come back?"
"Hmm?" she asked sleepily. "Because I didn't."
"But the Guide in the desert told you you did."
"Don't remember it. Didn't happen," she sighed sleepily.
"If it did, though, it would take away some of the guilt your friends have been feeling. Or do you like having this kind of power over them? . . . Buffy?" Spike touched her hair and she muttered something incomprehensible. "All right," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "You sleep. But it's really something you should suss out."
As she drifted off to sleep, Buffy heard his words. She just didn't feel like answering out loud. So, she answered them in her head. "Don't remember it. Didn't happen," her mind repeated. That's what she believed too.
Spike hadn't heard her thoughts, but he answered them all the same. "Bet you don't remember your birth either," he said under his breath. "But it bloody well happened all the same."
"I remember heaven," her sleepy mind answered back as it slipped away into a foggy dream. "I remember heaven . . ." Once again she could feel the warmth and safety of it there. Rest was hers, to enjoy forever. Time meant nothing and the world and everyone she had loved would go on without her. It was pure bliss. Then one day it ended. Willow's spell ruthlessly ripped her away from that place of rest and peace. She tried to fight against the pull, but couldn't. She screamed of course, but her screams went unheard. Then, just as suddenly as it started, the pulling stopped. Buffy found herself standing in some gray place that was neither here nor there in time.
She heard a cry above her and looked up to see the eagle that had led her to the Guide in the desert. He flew in the endless expanse of gray over her and landed at her side. "I remember everything up to this part," she told the eagle. "What happened after?"
The eagle stretched out its great brown wings. And she remembered. After the pulling stopped, she'd heard a cacophony of sounds. They were the cries of the others who were still alive in the world. She heard Willow mourning her and trying to bring her back, willing to risk her own soul if necessary. She heard Spike's heartbreak and felt his tears as he blamed himself for her death and aimlessly counted the endless days without her. She could feel Dawn trembling with fear and loneliness as she lay next to the bot, trying to draw comfort from its cold exterior. She heard Xander push aside his doubts about the resurrection spell, because he wanted her back so badly. She could feel Anya and Tara's sadness at her parting. And the unspeakable pain that Giles felt at the loss of his almost daughter. She'd thought they were all fine without her. But she was wrong.
The eagle shook its wings again. And she remembered the next part. After hearing and feeling all that her friends were going through, she made a decision. The magic that had been forcing her toward life had stopped because the spell had been interrupted. It left her in the gray dividing line between dimensions. She had a choice. She could go on toward life again. Or she could return to that heaven-like place. It didn't take her long to decide. She didn't ask what the consequences were, though she sensed there would be some. She didn't know she would be immortal. She only knew she had to return. So she pushed herself forward. It wasn't easy. The atmosphere around her became heavier the further she went. Her soul felt pain as she passed through the barrier between dimensions. And her mind became stunned and confused as her spiritual essence refilled her body. She gasped for air and scratched away at her coffin to get out. It had been a birth of sorts. And as with most births, her memories of it had been incomplete. Now she remembered all of it.
She heard the call of the eagle as it departed. And as she pushed herself out of the coffin and back into life.
The dream over, she sat up suddenly in bed. She was still in the lower level of the crypt.
Spike had been sleeping as well, but the suddenness of her moves woke him up. "What is it? What's the matter?" he asked, throwing his arms around her.
"The eagle . . ." Buffy said. "He came back . . . to do more healing."
Twas the Night Before Imbolc . . .
On the night before Imbolc, Giles had a final meeting at Buffy's house with the Scoobies to go over last minute details. Everyone was a little on edge. They'd been preparing nonstop for the big battle. They were ready to roll. When Giles declared the meeting adjourned, they all started off in their own directions. But Giles asked Buffy and Spike to hold back for a moment.
"What's the deal?" Buffy asked, plopping back down onto the couch with Spike at her left. "Is there some secret nasty we need to hunt?"
"Well, not literally," Giles said. "It's just something I feel I need to say."
"Sounds serious."
"I believe it is. I am no longer officially your watcher. But you've let me fall back into my old role this last week and in that capacity, I feel I should point this out."
Buffy and Spike exchanged a concerned glance. Their first assumption was that it was about their relationship.
"When I first got here, you told me how you found out that you were immortal from the Guide in the desert and how it was confirmed by the wound you received at the hands of one of Anyanka's old victims and yet again by the Diamond of Gunab. But it doesn't seem that you've spent much time since then considering what this immortality means. I know it's not something you chose. But nevertheless it's a part of who you are now."
Giles's words rang in Spike's ears, "I know it's not something you chose." With everything that had been happening, Spike had almost forgotten. The Guide had also told Buffy that she had chosen to come back of her own free will. She'd told him, but not anyone else. He guessed it was because she didn't believe it. He glanced at her and the look was returned briefly. If she knew what he was wondering about, she gave no hint. It was something he thought he should bring up to her later.
"In terms of your weaknesses for instance . . ." Giles continued.
"I've gotten a few speeches from the undead here," Buffy said with a shrug.
"Yeah," Spike agreed, pushing aside the other issue in his mind. "But she wouldn't listen to me until after something happened."
Giles looked from one to the other of them. "Is there something you haven't told me about?"
"She got badly burned by one of the Fire demons," Spike said. "I tried to warn her beforehand, but she wouldn't listen to me. Just gave me the bird."
"How serious was this injury?" Giles asked.
"Not very," Buffy said.
"Bad enough for you to want to keep it a secret from Dawn," Spike said. "It didn't heal as readily as most of her wounds do."
"That's not altogether surprising. "Fire is the one element that all creatures must fear," Giles said. "Even immortals."
"That's what I told her!" Spike said with a sneer. "But she wouldn't listen to me. Took offense cos she thought I was giving her too much advice."
Buffy made a face at Spike and he returned it.
It was all Giles could do to keep from rolling his eyes. These two were such children sometimes. "Buffy. You need to consider what might be dangerous to you. Fire is one thing. Beheading I'm sure is another. You might also die after having your neck broken. And a sword embedded in you long enough may cause sufficient bleeding to kill you. Suffocation I'm assuming is a danger, since you still need to breathe. In short, immortality doesn't translate into invincibility."
"Check," Buffy said lightly. "The evil undead here has already been singing me that song."
"Has he also talked with you about the possibility that Dawn may grow old and die before you, along with the rest of your mortal friends? Meanwhile, you and Spike will remain as you are now, perhaps even outliving Dawn's great great grandchildren."
The levity in Buffy's face drifted away.
"Didn't tell her that," Spike said, "cos it didn't occur to me. I've never hung around with humans before."
"Well, you are now. So, it's something you both need to face. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But within a few years, Buffy, you may start to notice signs of Dawn's aging. Suddenly she will appear to be the older sister. And then she will seem old enough to pass for your mother. And then she will look old enough to be your grandmother and then . . ."
"I get the picture!" Buffy said. "I just haven't wanted to think about it."
"At some point you will have to. And you need to talk to Dawn about it too. Being immortal makes you a greater warrior perhaps. But it also makes a normal life more difficult."
"That part I got."
"You still have me, Luv," Spike said, taking her hand in his.
"On a more positive note, I think your immortality has solved your money problems," Giles said.
"Scuse me?" Buffy said.
"While I was in the U.K., I tried to get the Watcher's Council to agree to pay you some kind of salary or stipend. But they were adamantly against it. I think they're still angry that you slighted their representatives the last time they were here."
"Dusty old wankers," Spike said.
"Yes, I believe they are," Giles agreed. "I pointed out to them that with Faith in prison, you are likely to be the main slayer for quite some time. But they didn't care. Their collective pride had been wounded."
"Didn't you say there was something positive in all this?" Buffy asked. "Something about my money problems being solved?"
"Yes, I'm getting to that. Anyway, since I found out about your immortality, I thought I should have another go at the Council. I pointed out that in your new state you were likely to become something of
a Master Slayer who would probably outlive Faith and whoever is called after her. I suggested that being on the bad side of such a potentially powerful being is not a good thing and that it would be in their own best interests to keep you on their side."
"And how did they like that?"
"I think they found your immortality a bit frightening. Especially when I mentioned your alliance with Spike. They decided I was right after all and they will be issuing you a monthly stipend effective immediately, mapped out to my specifications. And I will be acting as their go-between."
"So, they're scared of me?"
"Perhaps a little."
"Well," Buffy said, "I don't know how I feel about being eternally allied with the Council. But at least Dawn will be taken of."
"Speaking of allies . . ." Giles continued. He took off his glasses and paced a few steps.
"Uh oh," Buffy said. "Now we're in trouble. He's about to say something he knows we don't want to hear."
Giles put his glasses back on and straightened them properly before speaking. Since he'd gotten back, he seemed even more tweedy and British. "It's just that, speaking in terms of immortality, you must begin finding yourself some long time allies. It's all fine and good that you have Spike. But the more allies you have the better. As much as you don't like the Council of Watchers, they have been around in one form or another since the time of the first slayer. They will probably be around for a long time to come as well. They can serve as a long time ally for you. In addition to them, I think you should consider making a stronger alliance with Angel and his group as well."
Buffy looked down thoughtfully.
"Not the poufer!" Spike said.
"I know you don't like the idea, but I spoke to Angel just after the first of the year. I think you'll find that things have moved on a bit for him. I very much doubt that he'll be judgmental of your relationship, if that's what you're worried about."
"What does that mean?" Buffy asked.
"I'll let him tell you," Giles said. "Just suffice it to say that this has been an interesting year for him too. And since one of his closest operatives may also have become long-lived, it would be advantageous for you to form an alliance. Maintaining one with the Shadows would also be a good idea. They're a long lived species and might be of some help to you in the future. In short, I'm telling you to do a bit of long range planning. Which in your case, could be very long indeed."
Buffy looked to Spike. He tightened his grip on her left hand and she added her right one to the mix. What was it the Desert Guide had said to her? The journey through eternity can be very lonely? Well, at least she seemed to have one long term partner. Giles was right to prod her about the rest. "All right," Buffy said. "As soon as this Imbolc thing is over, I'll talk to Angel and the Council of Watchers."
- - - - - - - - - -
Dawn and Zachary were sitting outside on the back porch of Buffy's house. She was sitting on the next lowest step, leaning back against him. He had his arms around her. The sky was full of stars and the air was warmer than it had been. But they didn't seem to notice the romance of the night. Their minds were centered on other things.
"You sure you want to go through with this?" Dawn asked. She didn't have to say what "this" was. He knew. It was the Imbolc battle.
"I'm sure," Zachary said. "If you go, I go. Besides, I don't think Spike would let me back out now. He's put too much time in on me."
Dawn smiled. "Yeah. He does seem to think you're his own private creation. I just want you to know that I think what you're doing is incredibly brave."
"No more than for you."
"It's different with me. Slaying's almost the family business. I couldn't avoid it if I wanted to. Sometimes Buffy thinks she can protect me from it. But she can't. Sooner or later some big monster comes crashing in the door looking for the Slayer and there I am involved. Anyway, how can I not get involved? Her being the slayer brought me into being in the first place. Don't forget I'm not really even real."
He nuzzled her neck, enjoying the warmth of her soft long hair. "You feel real to me."
Dawn giggled. "You know what I mean."
"Well, whatever you started out as, you're real now. You may not live a normal life, but then who in SunnyD does?"
"Your family is pretty normal."
"I guess. But when that dancing demon guy came to town, they still sang and danced like everyone else. There was a male chorus in my dad's hardware shop singing the praises of duct tape. And the people in my mom's office did some kind of tap number."
Dawn laughed out loud and cuddled closer to him.
"But now they act like none of it ever happened. SunnyD-nial. That's what I call it."
"I like that. SunnyD-nial."
"So, I figure you and your sister are just being more realistic than the rest of the town."
"I love you, Zachary. You know that?" Dawn asked, looking up.
Zachary's breath caught for a moment and his heart beat so loud he was surprised it didn't echo across the lawn. "I love you too," he whispered. And then he kissed her.
- - - - - - - - - -
Anya was still a little worried that D'Hoffryn might be watching her. With only one night to go, she thought they shouldn't take any chances. So she and Xander decided to spend the night in a motel. It was rather fun really. They had dinner in their room and then made love leisurely in the king sized bed.
As they burrowed together under the covers afterwards Xander said, "I'm coming home tomorrow night after the battle. This is absolutely the last time we go sneaking around.
"I agree," Anya sighed, running her finger down his chest. She found his ticklish spot and teased it a little. "The bed in our apartment has been entirely too lonely. And I've already granted Dawn a small wish that can be reversed without trouble when we smash my amulet."
"So . . . are you excited about tomorrow?"
"Excited?" Anya considered the word. "I guess I am. Are you?"
"Me? No. It's just another job. Go in, fight the bad guys, save the world. You know. Just an ordinary night."
"It's pretty much the same for me."
"Not quite. Without you, we couldn't get inside the warehouse from above ground. We'd have to go it slow from underneath and might not even make it in time. You're of major importance."
"Yeah, I guess I am," she said with a contented smile. "I like that part. I like being more to the group than just your girlfriend."
"You know, I'm very proud of you?"
Anya sat us so she could see Xander's face. "Really?"
He squeezed her hand. "Really. You know, I haven't even seen you in your demon face yet."
"No, I guess you haven't. I've really only worn it around Tara and the Shadows . . . And Giles of course. He's the one who's taken me to the meetings with the Shadows."
"You wouldn't mind showing it to me. I mean, I want to be able to pick you out of the crowd tomorrow."
She looked mildly worried. "You're sure? I mean, I know you weren't real happy in the beginning about my doing this."
"I'm sure."
"OK, then. If you're sure." Anya concentrated and shifted out of her human face into her demon one. She did it slowly so as not to shock Xander too much.
Xander looked at her carefully, considering each veiny inch of the unfamiliar face. "You know, I think you look just as good this way."
"You do?"
"Absolutely." He put his hand to her cheek gently. "I love you, no matter what face you have on. And like I said, I'm really proud of what you're doing . . . Even if it made me feel out of control . . . And even if I had to move out for a while and spend the better part of my evenings watching television with Spike. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."
Anya's demon eyes were getting watery. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me too. I waited a thousand years to find someone like you."
- - - - - - - - - -
Doc placed his hands on Willow's head. It was their final session and he considered it a mere formality. He was convinced that she believed everything he'd been telling her. That the counter spell they'd done to cancel out Buffy's resurrection was only the first part of the whole spell, done to prepare Buffy for her return to heaven. "Tomorrow night," he whispered hypnotically in her ear, "we will open the portal to guarantee Tara's return to life and Buffy's return to heaven. This will turn back time and set everything to where it should be. Can you imagine how happy Tara will be to see you?"
The real Tara of course was standing by in her invisible format. She had no eyes to roll at that moment, but if she had . . .
"And think how glad Buffy will be to go back to heaven. You will be the bearer of so much happiness, my dear. It will be wonderful."
"Happiness," Willow repeated. Her mind kept quiet as Doc talked, with hardly a personal thought at all. He took it as a sign of her acquiescence.
"We will bring you up to the Imbolc festival just before midnight," Doc continued, "where you alone will enter the pentagram. The members of your coven will gather around you. The rest of us will light the ceremonial fires to welcome back the sun. Before you know it, Tara will be back with you again. You won't have to wait much longer, my dear. Hardly any time at all."
When their session was complete, Doc left Willow's magical enclosure confident of his success. Rack was waiting just outside to talk over some last minute things.
"Is everything ready?" Doc asked.
"Yes," Rack answered. "I've told everybody but a few guards upstairs to get extra rest tonight since tomorrow there will be no sleep for anyone."
"Good, good."
At that point, Ledic came from the opposite end of the tunnel corridor. He knew approximately how long Doc's session would last and he'd been waiting around the bend till he heard their voices advancing toward him. He gave Rack and Doc a respectful nod as he passed, but they didn't even notice him. He was a lackey, after all. No more worthy of notice than a crack in the wall. Rack saw the Fire demons as ugly but useful animals, nothing more. Doc saw them in a similar light. The only tolerable thing about them as far as he was concerned was their faint relation to the lizard family. They thought so little of his race's intelligence that they didn't even wonder why Ledic was there at an hour when most of the other Fire demons were resting. They didn't even consider him capable of deceit. To them, he and the other Fire demons were just children that could be promised and punished into working for them. Of course this kind of thinking made Ledic's job much easier.
As soon as Doc and the warlock were well out of sight, Ledic gestured toward Willow's enclosure. He couldn't see Tara, but he was pretty sure she was there. She always tried to be present during Doc's sessions.
Tara appeared at Ledic's signal and returned the wave. Then Ledic went back around the bend in the tunnel to keep watch and give Tara and Willow some privacy.
Tara went to solid form and slipped her arms around Willow. "Don't listen to him," she whispered in Willow's ear. "You already have me back. I'm here with you right now. And I'm never going to leave you again. That other voice you hear is lying to you, Honey. Don't listen to him. Tomorrow we're going to free you from all this. And then we'll be back together in our own bed."
Tara kissed her lover gently and stroked her cheek. Willow's eyes were closed because she was still in a trance state, but her eyelids fluttered at Tara's touch. For some reason Tara started humming to Willow. It was an old lullaby that she remembered her mother singing to her when she was very little. She couldn't recall the words anymore, only the melody. Still, she hoped it would reach Willow and bring her comfort.
- - - - - - - - - -
Buffy and Spike were patrolling through the cemetery. Buffy was very much into it. She had a stake in hand and was peering left and right behind every bush and tombstone. Spike dragged behind glumly. This wasn't the evening he'd planned. Buffy had said she needed to work off some excess energy. He understood because it was the night before the big battle and all. But he had his own ideas about how to work it off. Still, she had insisted this was the best way to do it. So far, they'd dusted two fledgling vamps and rescued a couple who were making out in the grass near the entrance from some kind of feathered demon Spike had never seen before.
"Slayer, isn't that enough?" Spike whined. Buffy was dusting a third vamp that she'd flushed out from behind a cluster of trees. "There's going to be plenty of demon slaughtering tomorrow night."
"Not done yet," she said, not bothering to look at him. "We should make one more round."
"Slayer! Why are you doing this? You upset about what the old Watcher said?"
Buffy stopped. As usual Spike had put his finger on the issue. But it wasn't exactly what he thought. She wasn't acting out in denial this time. "Maybe that's part of it," she admitted. "I didn't like thinking or talking about all that. But, I know he's right. I'm going to do what he said. I'm just working out my emotions about it in the best way I know how."
Spike put his hands on his hips. "Fine. Well, I don't see any other demons. I think that's all we're gonna get tonight. So, I'm going home and leaving you to work things out." And with that, he turned and started away.
Buffy frowned for a moment. Then she ran after him, leaping into the air at his back and yelling, "Hey-ya!"
The force of her weight knocked them both to the ground. They rolled over several times till they came to a stop with Buffy on top. "Since you're the only demon around here right now, guess I'll have to settle for pummeling you," she said, sitting up.
"Now that's more like what I had in mind," he said easing his hands under her leather jacket.
Buffy responded by rolling them over again and tossing him at the foot of a tree. The fight was on. They tussled for some time, their sparring becoming more and more impassioned. Finally they retired to his crypt to complete their dance. Their lovemaking was intense and eager. A marathon of touching and kissing and rubbing. Their clothes went every which way and their exclamations were unfettered by the presence of little sisters and middle-aged watchers. It was a bit like old times actually, a marathon session that began in the upper area of the crypt and ended in the bed below. Spike wondered if this was really what Buffy had been planning all along, a shagging trip down memory lane.
Afterwards, as they lay in bed together listening to the sounds of the night Spike said, "All we need now is for it to rain."
"What?" Buffy asked.
"Don't you remember? It was the night you lost that bloody job. We wrestled outside like tonight. Then we came in when it started raining. I fell asleep with my arm around you. I expected you to be gone when I awoke. Only you weren't. You fell asleep too. Your staying there that extra time sleeping told me I had a chance. Ever since then, I've loved the sound of rain."
"Now that sounds like William the poet talking."
Spike laughed. "The wanker had one or two good ideas. Romance and poetry have their place."
"Mmm," Buffy answered, burying her face in his chest and preparing for a nap. "So does a good sparring session with a demon."
Since they were both relaxed and content, Spike thought it was a good time to bring up the subject that had occurred to him during their private meeting with Giles. "Buffy . . . why didn't you tell Giles that you chose to come back?"
"Hmm?" she asked sleepily. "Because I didn't."
"But the Guide in the desert told you you did."
"Don't remember it. Didn't happen," she sighed sleepily.
"If it did, though, it would take away some of the guilt your friends have been feeling. Or do you like having this kind of power over them? . . . Buffy?" Spike touched her hair and she muttered something incomprehensible. "All right," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "You sleep. But it's really something you should suss out."
As she drifted off to sleep, Buffy heard his words. She just didn't feel like answering out loud. So, she answered them in her head. "Don't remember it. Didn't happen," her mind repeated. That's what she believed too.
Spike hadn't heard her thoughts, but he answered them all the same. "Bet you don't remember your birth either," he said under his breath. "But it bloody well happened all the same."
"I remember heaven," her sleepy mind answered back as it slipped away into a foggy dream. "I remember heaven . . ." Once again she could feel the warmth and safety of it there. Rest was hers, to enjoy forever. Time meant nothing and the world and everyone she had loved would go on without her. It was pure bliss. Then one day it ended. Willow's spell ruthlessly ripped her away from that place of rest and peace. She tried to fight against the pull, but couldn't. She screamed of course, but her screams went unheard. Then, just as suddenly as it started, the pulling stopped. Buffy found herself standing in some gray place that was neither here nor there in time.
She heard a cry above her and looked up to see the eagle that had led her to the Guide in the desert. He flew in the endless expanse of gray over her and landed at her side. "I remember everything up to this part," she told the eagle. "What happened after?"
The eagle stretched out its great brown wings. And she remembered. After the pulling stopped, she'd heard a cacophony of sounds. They were the cries of the others who were still alive in the world. She heard Willow mourning her and trying to bring her back, willing to risk her own soul if necessary. She heard Spike's heartbreak and felt his tears as he blamed himself for her death and aimlessly counted the endless days without her. She could feel Dawn trembling with fear and loneliness as she lay next to the bot, trying to draw comfort from its cold exterior. She heard Xander push aside his doubts about the resurrection spell, because he wanted her back so badly. She could feel Anya and Tara's sadness at her parting. And the unspeakable pain that Giles felt at the loss of his almost daughter. She'd thought they were all fine without her. But she was wrong.
The eagle shook its wings again. And she remembered the next part. After hearing and feeling all that her friends were going through, she made a decision. The magic that had been forcing her toward life had stopped because the spell had been interrupted. It left her in the gray dividing line between dimensions. She had a choice. She could go on toward life again. Or she could return to that heaven-like place. It didn't take her long to decide. She didn't ask what the consequences were, though she sensed there would be some. She didn't know she would be immortal. She only knew she had to return. So she pushed herself forward. It wasn't easy. The atmosphere around her became heavier the further she went. Her soul felt pain as she passed through the barrier between dimensions. And her mind became stunned and confused as her spiritual essence refilled her body. She gasped for air and scratched away at her coffin to get out. It had been a birth of sorts. And as with most births, her memories of it had been incomplete. Now she remembered all of it.
She heard the call of the eagle as it departed. And as she pushed herself out of the coffin and back into life.
The dream over, she sat up suddenly in bed. She was still in the lower level of the crypt.
Spike had been sleeping as well, but the suddenness of her moves woke him up. "What is it? What's the matter?" he asked, throwing his arms around her.
"The eagle . . ." Buffy said. "He came back . . . to do more healing."