Chapter Twenty Two

The wind was blowing, and in it he seemed to hear melodies, singing whispers that lanced through his hair gently. Singing the memories of Hikou that he knew he would never let go.

As Houjun stepped aside, the gravel crunched loudly beneath his feet, a harsh sound in the quiet. It took him a few moments to be aware that the noise was growing louder, until he realized it wasn't him, and looked up, whirling sharply to where the sound was fading.

The taillights of the red car winked and flared once before the vehicle crested the ridge and disappeared.

Genrou!

The certainty pierced his heart, even as he involuntarily turned his face back to where the men had surrounded the plot, and the people gather a way away, the disjointed sobs and wails becoming louder as the first spade of earth fell over the casket.

The priest began to pray in a loud voice that rang over the sorrow, but he couldn't put his heart into it, somehow. He knew he should. This was Hikou, after all. His best friend.

"—and may the Father bless his soul as he—"

Houjun turned the prayer out completely. His heart was beginning to race. He took a few steps back, further, further, until he bumped into a post and stilled, his thoughts flying ahead.

Genrou.

Genrou.

Conflicting emotions tore through him even as he shook his head to clear it.

*Flashback

"Do you love Kourin?"

He was too busy panicking even as Hikou spoke. Will Genrou come back? Oh god, what have I done?

Hikou stepped closer, looking at him intently.

I should have pushed her away faster. I should never have let her get close to me…

"No," his best friend said, after another moment of his continual silence. "You're too in love with someone else."

I have to find him, I have to explain…

"You're so lucky, you know," Hikou glanced sideways, tilting his head as he spoke softly, more to himself than to Houjun. "You're alive and well. He's alive and well. And you love him."

If I find him… the blood froze cold in his veins. If I find him, will he ever take me back?

Hikou finally realized that Houjun wasn't paying the least bit of attention to him, and stopped talking. He leant forward to tap Houjun's shoulder, and only then did focus slide back into the mahogany eyes.

"What?" he snapped. Hikou looked away.

"I have cancer, Houjun."

*End of Flashback

"—and forever and ever. Amen."

You're so lucky, you know. You're alive and well. He's alive and well. And you love him.

I love him.

Forever and ever. Amen.

Tears of relief spilled from his eyes, hot tears that he had been holding back too long. He buried his face in his hands and cried, giving up all his burdens, his sorrows and his frustration to the gentle wind. He cried for a long while.

And then he sensed someone else standing in front of him.