Chapter Twenty Five

Why did he come to find me? Did he come to blame me for Hikou's death? Did he come to make the split final once and for all? The last thought made him gulp convulsively before he could help it, as he backed away. Because, despite all I say or do or pretend…

All I really want is for you to come back to me, Houjun.

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Houjun saw Genrou opening his mouth to say something, and his brain instinctively told him to take his chances. He darted forward and before any other words could pass between them, he lightly pressed his lips against the younger man's.

*Flashback

He looked at Kourin, and his smile faded.

"What if—what if he doesn't want me back, Kourin?" he tried to keep his voice as level as he could, but he knew that she could hear as clearly as he could that it was shaking. She looked back at him, her light brown eyes tiredly amused all of a sudden.

"Are you going to give him up just like that, Houjun?"

*End of Flashback

No. No, I won't let you go like that. You can scold me, swear at me, hit me; you can do whatever you want to me, Genrou. But it's not going to change anything I feel for you.

He pressed closer, his hands wrapping about Genrou's wrists tightly as he inhaled the familiar scent, taking in the soft lips, the familiar sensations. Genrou didn't respond.

Give me another chance, Genrou.

He broke free, withdrawing a few inches, his hands still wrapped tightly about slender fingers as he gazed into the fiery depths of amber eyes whose spirit he had nearly all but forgotten in the distance each of them had placed in between the other.

He released one of the slim wrists, and hesitantly caressed Genrou's cheek. "There is nothing going on between me and Kourin, Genrou. She was upset that Hikou had been ignoring her, and she thought she would find better with me. She was wrong. And I was wrong, too."

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He felt strangely boneless as he slumped against the wall, staring at Houjun, and unconsciously his free hand rose and touched his lips. And to his horror, he felt words spill from his mouth, babbling incoherently.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't save Hikou, Houjun," he blurted, his cheeks flushing slightly from the way the older man was looking at him. He turned his head, but a gentle hand grasped his chin and lightly brought him to face front again. "I understand if you want to—to leave me, and I don't mind whether you're with Kourin or not—"

Lies! He thought desperately, even as his mind struggled to make sense of what he was saying. I'm a liar!

"Genrou," Houjun interrupted him gently, his hand moving to cover his lips, "Genrou, stop. Listen to me."

He closed his mouth with a snap.

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Houjun let his gaze wander, travel over the smooth contours of Genrou's face, before he finally met amber ones, slightly glazed over. He grew serious. "It wasn't your fault, Genrou."