Breathing a sigh of relief, Angel leaned against the door and stared into the darkness of his apartment

Breathing a sigh of relief, Angel leaned against the door and stared into the darkness of his apartment. It was just a few minutes before dawn and he had just returned from his nightly patrol. Taking off his jacket, shirt and shoes as he went, Angel crossed his loft-style apartment to his bed and climbed into it.

He was exhausted.

Once he was lying comfortably under the covers, he began to think about his slipup. He couldn't believe that he had cut it that close. The last time he had been so careless as to lose track of the time had been over a hundred years ago. While patrolling, he had been certain that there was plenty of time to make one last sweep before sunrise.

Of course, his *new* nightly ritual was beginning to cut into his patrol time.

Despite his decision to stay away from Buffy, he had found that it was impossible to follow through with it. Since their first meeting two months ago, he had been keeping an eye on her. The Watcher's Council still hadn't found her and he was beginning to wonder if they ever would. Shaking his head to rid himself of all thoughts of those inept idiots, Angel focused his thoughts back on Buffy.

On the outside, she didn't seem to have been effected by her experience or the knowledge of her destiny. Everything about her outward appearance showed the same teenage girl that had always been there. She did her hair the same, dressed the same, and even smiled the same way as she always had. She continued to go out with her friends, to the mall or the movies, where they would chatter, gossip, and laugh just as they always had. All in all, she seemed to be the exact same person she had been two months ago. No one noticed any differences in her. They saw the same old Buffy. She had them all fooled.

All, except Angel.

Since becoming a vampire, a predator, Angel had learned how to read people and what he saw when he looked at Buffy was a distinctly different person than the girl he had first met. While she still seemed carefree and peaceful, in reality, she was quite the opposite. No matter where she was, whom she was with, or what she was doing, she was always aware of her surroundings and of who was around her. She was always on guard for anything that could cause her friends or herself harm.

Occasionally it seem to Angel, that she even noticed of his presence, but he mostly shook that off as paranoia, since she had never made a move to confront him about it.

Angel was very proud that she was taking her calling so seriously and being so careful. But at the same time, he hated to see her lose the innocence of her childhood. As soon as he had begun talking to her, Angel had come to the conclusion that he liked Buffy. Therefore, it was killing him to see the girl he first met disappear.

Despite all of his intentions to remain distant from her, he had quickly become very protective of her and that was something that he really couldn't afford. Protectiveness usually led to other things like obsession, and as already proven, carelessness. He could have very easily crispy fried himself earlier. Another thing he had to worry about was the Watcher's Council. He would have to leave when they got into town, before they learned of his presence. There was no way that they would allow him, Angelus, to live in peace, or for that matter, to live at all.

Any way he looked at it, this just wasn't a healthy preoccupation for him.

Running a hand through his hair in frustration, Angel closed his eyes, determined to go to sleep. Not that sleep guaranteed his freedom from thoughts of the tiny blond, for she had started to invade his dreams as well, but he decided it was worth a shot. Maybe the dreams would give him a break.

Not that the dreams were all that bad, they just tended to make his sleep...non-restful.

The new dreams were actually a welcome change from the ones that had plagued him for years. Nights that were once filled with darkness and horrors were slowly fading away and being replaced by the feeling of sunshine and happiness.

He saw himself there with her, in her life, as a friend. A true friend. In these dreams, she knew all of his secrets, all of the horrors, and everything that he had done. Yet, she still felt he was worthy of her time and allowed him to be a part of her world.

Those were the dreams he savored. All of the years that had passed since he was cursed, had been spent alone. All of the pain was his alone; there was no one there for him. His vampire family had abandoned him upon discovering his state of 'soulfulness'. Over the years, he had never managed to find anyone to become close to. Truthfully, he rarely spoke to anyone at all. Eventually he had become accustom to being alone, yet he never truly overcame his loneliness. He longed for a person to see through everything and accept him.

In his dreams, he could see that person as Buffy.

Angel heaved one final sigh and finally began to drift off. Just as the visions of the emerald-eyed blond began dancing in his head, there was a knock on his door.

Startled into a fully awakened state, he groaned and looked at the clock. It was 8 o'clock. He had spent the last two hours trying to get to sleep and now this. Wondering who it could possibly be, Angel got up to answer the door. As the door opened, he found himself in total shock.

"Buffy."

"Hi," she said timidly, "Can I come in?"

"Sure," Angel replied as he stepped back and motioned for her to enter. After closing the door behind her, he picked up his previously discarded shirt and put it back on. Looking up, he saw Buffy nervously moving around his apartment, checking things out.

Sensing that she needed a few minutes to gather the courage for whatever it was that she came here to do, Angel remained quiet and took in her appearance. She was wearing a short, pale blue sun dress and sandals, with her hair pulled up into a ponytail. Not for the first time, Angel noticed and appreciated her beauty.

Finally drawing his thought back to the present, Angel asked, "What's up?"

Spinning around, as if startled, she quickly replied, "I need your help."

"With what?" Angel asked quietly, trying to calm her uneasiness.

"They, those watcher people, still haven't come. You said they would find me," she said.

"They'll come," Angel replied.

Seeing that he wasn't going to say more, Buffy sighed and flopped down in a nearby chair, "I can't do this."

"When they find you, they will train you on how to fight. You'll be able to handle the vampires fine," he said.

"No, not that, I mean all this waiting and hiding," she said. "You said I had the power to fight the vampires. I need to be out there, you can teach me."

"Me?" Angel asked, truly shocked. "I can't do that."

"Yes, you can," Buffy demanded. "I saw you fight them, I know you can teach me. I can't just sit around like this." Taking a deep breath, Buffy paused to gather her thoughts before she tried to explain, "Since I met you that night and found out what creatures are truly out there, I can't get away from it. Every time I look at the paper or watch the news, I see what has happened and I wonder how much of it I could have stopped. How much of it I *should* have been there to stop. It's killing me, Angel."

By the time she finished, Buffy was pacing around the apartment. Angel felt saddened as he listened to her heart felt confession. He knew that what she was saying was the truth, he had seen it in her actions in the past months, but there was nothing he could do without becoming too involved with her. Technically, he was already too involved.

"I can't help you, I'm sorry," he said so quietly that she almost didn't hear him at all.

"Fine," she replied as she moved towards the door, "I'll do it by myself."

Quickly, Angel moved between her and the door, "I can't let you do that."

Finally becoming angry, Buffy moved closer to him until they were only centimeters apart. "It seems that you can't do a lot of things. What can you do, Angel?" she demanded.

Angel slowly moved away from her, then turned and walked across the room. He sat down on the edge of his bed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Finally he glanced up at her, but then looked back at the floor as he began to speak, "I really wish I could help you. I understand how you feel, really I do, but I will only cause you trouble. The more we see each other, the more problems it will bring to both of us. It would never be accepted, because," he paused momentarily, but then continued before he had time to change his mind, "because I'm a vampire, Buffy. I *am* one of the things that you will be hunting."

Angel kept his eyes on the floor. He didn't want to see the disgust and fear in her eyes.

To his surprise, she simply replied, "I know that."

As the room began to swim, Angel had the fleeting thought that he was glad to be sitting down. Finally he managed to choke out, "What?"

"I know," Buffy repeated. "I can feel them, and you, but you don't feel like the rest of them."

"What?" he asked uncomprehendingly.

Sighing at his confusion, Buffy started again. "When I'm out at night, I can feel the vampires. It's just this feeling; I've felt it since that first night. When it happens, if I concentrate hard enough, I can find them. It's like there is something inside that is screaming to me, telling me that I am in danger. They all do it...except you. When I am around you, I have the thing that tells me what you are, but there is no danger."

"You haven't been around me enough to know that," Angel said.

"You follow me when I'm out at night," she stated plainly, then continued when he gave her a guilty look, "I feel you then."

"I'm just trying to make sure that you are all right," he mumbled.

For the first time since entering his apartment, Buffy smiled, "I know, I never really feel comfortable until I know that you are there. It makes me feel safe."

When Angel looked away from her, Buffy realized that he was embarrassed. Trying to hide he smile, she decided to change the subject, "Why don't you feel like the others? Why are you different?"

"That is a long story," he replied.

Buffy smiled once again, reclaimed her chair, and said, "I can miss a few classes."

Taking a steadying, abiet unnecessary, breath, Angel began his tale. He told her everything about him, from the night that he was changed up until the present. He watched her closely throughout the story. He saw her shock features as he told of the deeds of Angelus and also her tears as he told her of the years following the curse. Once he started talking, he just couldn't seem to stop. He wanted her to know everything there was to know, no secrets. Through it all, he never saw the on emotion he feared most--disgust. Nor did he see fear or worry, only compassion and understanding shone from her eyes.

When he was finished, Buffy sat silent for a few minutes. Finally she looked at him and said, "That's a rough gig."

Though he was surprised, Angel found himself chuckling at her statement, "Yeah, I guess it is."

"But it wasn't you, right?" she asked, then continued before he could answer. "I mean, I can see that you feel guilty, but from what you said, the demon takes complete control of the body and the soul isn't even there. So none of the bad stuff was your fault, because you weren't even there. How were you supposed to stop it?"

At he statement, Angel found himself in turmoil. His emotions were still raw from the pain of reliving the past, but her matter-of-fact comments, left him feeling the slightest glimmer of hope. Maybe it was possible that she could accept him. Looking away from her again, he replied, "It's hard for me to see it that way sometimes."

"Well, that's how I see it," Buffy stated plainly, leaving no room for doubt.

Hearing her words, Angel finally met her eyes, and was happy to see her smiling. He was even more shocked to feel himself smiling at her in return.

Slowly, Buffy approached him, "So, now that there are no more 'secrets', will you help me?"

Finally coming to a decision, he answered, "I'll do what I can to help you until they show up."

A full blown smile crossed her face at his declaration, "Thank you."

Angel nodded at her, bet remained silent.

"So, when do we start?" Buffy asked excitedly.

"Well, first, I need to find a place to train you. Most of the things you will need to know will be learned out there," he said, while making a sweeping gesture with his hand to include that world at large. "However, you will need a place to learn the basic fighting techniques and to practice."

Giving him a confused look, Buffy asked, "Can't we do that at the gym?"

Angel shook his head, "Once you start getting used to fighting and get accustomed to your strength, you won't want to be out in the open and have everyone watching."

"Oh," Buffy said, then asked, "Exactly how strong am I?"

"You'll see," Angel smiled, "Besides, I need a place where I can train you at night, I'm not really a 'day' person."

It started as a chuckle, but soon they each found themselves laughing at his corny joke. As the laughter died down, they found that they were staring into each others eyes. As they sat in comfortable silence, they each felt a connection for between the two of them.

Finally looking away, Buffy glanced down at her watch, "I've got to go to get to school. Um, do you want to, you know, meet up tonight? We can start training, or whatever?"

"If you don't have plans, it's fine with me. You can meet me here at sundown. We'll make a few rounds and I can show you a few things," Angel said.

"Ok, that sounds good," Buffy said as she moved towards the door. Just as she was about to leave, Angel called out to her.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Thank you."

Genuinely confused, Buffy asked, "For what?"

Looking anywhere but at her, he replied, "You know, for trusting me, even though you know..."

Buffy didn't say anything in return for fear that it would cheapen his words. She just nodded her understanding and exited the apartment.

As the door closed, Angel shook his head and let out a sigh. This was such a bad idea. There was no way that this would work out, but he saw no other option.

There was nothing else he could do.

There was nothing else he *wanted* to do.

~*~*~*~*~

Buffy leaned against the door in relief. It had taken all of her courage to come here and ask him for help. Even though she had been sure that he wouldn't hurt her, she had been nervous about asking him for help. She had stated the truth when she told him that she felt no danger from him, but that didn't mean that he would help her. She was scared that he would turn her down, but she hadn't had any other choice.

He was the only person that *could* help her.

The knowledge that she would soon be able to help left her feeling much better about herself. She no longer had to feel ashamed for the things that she hadn't done. Starting now, she was going to do the right thing, follow her destiny.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy started walking towards her school with her head held high. Today, things were going to change.

Everything would be different.

No more hiding.