Part 6
Angel sat in his living room, deep in thought, while he awaited Buffy's
arrival. An hour earlier, she had called to say that she was coming over to
talk to him. When he questioned her, she had refused to discuss it further over
the phone, but she had sounded upset. Basically, the whole conversation had
caused him to begin worrying. To be truthful though, it didn't take a lot to
make him worry about Buffy.
Things had been easier for her since they had sorted out the mess with Gunn,
Alonna and Pike. Although he hadn't let it show, the whole situation had made
him uneasy when she first told him that they wanted to work with the two of
them. As it turned out, it had been a blessing in disguise.
The three teens had taken their training very seriously; listening to
everything they were told and had quickly become dependable additions to their
lives. It had become customary for the five of them to patrol the city every
night. They split up, Buffy, Alonna, and Pike in one group, Angel and Gunn
making up the other. When they finished and the three others went home, Buffy
and Angel would make another sweep of the cemeteries.
The new friendship and the freedom to be herself had caused Buffy's whole
outlook to change radically. She no longer worried about the opinions of the
people she used to consider her friends. She and Alonna had hit it off
immediately and were now very good friends, always laughing and joking. He
loved to see her laugh.
Surprisingly enough, Angel himself had found real friends in Gunn and Pike. His
whole life, both before and after his change, he had been a loner, not really
one for having people around him. However, he had quickly found that he liked
their easy going personalities and felt comfortable in their presence.
The only problem was the fact that they had no idea about his 'problem'. He had
planned to just tell them once he knew they were trustworthy. The friendship he
had formed with them complicated things. Now he didn't know how to tell them
without ruining everything. He didn't know how far he could push their
understanding. In his 246 years he had only met one person who had been able to
accept everything about him.
That person, of course, was Buffy.
He could feel his unseating heart swell with love at just the thought of her.
It had taken him a while, but he now couldn't deny the fact that he was in love
with her. Taking an unneeded breath, Angel ran a hand through his hair and
sighed loudly. He had no idea how he had ended up in this situation.
Sighing once again, he shook his head. He knew exactly how this happened. The
minute he had laid eyes on her, he had known that there was a very high
likelihood that he would fall for her, but he had thought that he would be able
to control it...or at least keep it to himself.
If the constant hints that Alonna was always throwing at him and Buffy meant
anything, then he had messed up. Big time.
To make matters worse, Buffy obviously knew about his feelings and she didn't
seem to mind. She usually only laughed at Alonna's jokes and cast him a happy
smile. It seemed she either wasn't good at hiding her feelings either or she
wasn't trying.
Things were definitely getting tense.
Almost any time that the two of them were alone, one way or another, they would
end up in one of those 'moments'. The kind of moment where they could each
understood what the other was feeling and knew that it was mutual.
However, nothing ever happened during these times, because something *ALWAYS*
interrupted them. It had happened so many times that he was getting to the
point where he was ready to lock the doors any time the two of them were alone.
It seemed like a higher power was trying to tell him that it was wrong.
He wasn't sure, himself, if it would be in her best interests if he did let
something happen. She deserved so much more than he could ever offer her, but
when he saw the yearning in her eyes, he couldn't find the strength to distance
himself from her. He just couldn't do it.
All he wanted to do was love her.
His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the door of the warehouse open. He
stood and watched as Buffy walked slowly up the stairs. Once she reached the
top, however, she made no attempt to move further into the room. Walking
quickly in her direction, Angel was shocked by the absolute misery that was
apparent on her face.
"Buffy?" he said, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.
At the sound of his voice she raised her eyes to his face. Immediately she lost
all of her control, the dam of emotions broke, and she fell sobbing into his
arms.
Surprised, Angel could do nothing at first, but his arms instinctively pulled
her to his chest. Once he regained his senses, he reached down, lifting her
into his arms and carried her towards the couch. He sat down with Buffy still
cradled in his arms, trying his best to comfort her.
For several moments she continued to cry, the great heaving sobs making her
entire body shake. Not knowing what else to do, he just let her cry while he
whispered comforting words in her ear and rubbed her back gently.
Eventually, her tears subsided, and she smiled weakly at him, "Hi."
"Hi," he replied, "Are you ok?"
"Not really, but I'm a little better now," she answered.
Suddenly, her surrounding came into focus and she noticed that she was sitting
in his lap. Flushing brightly, Buffy scrambled away and moved to sit next to
him. Despite her embarrassment, she just couldn't seem to move far away.
"What happened," he asked, "Can I help?"
"You already have," Buffy said. Sighing dramatically she asked,
"Why, just when things are going so good, does everything have to get
screwed up?"
Unable to stop himself, Angel gently hugged her to him, "You have no idea
how much I wish I had the answer to that for you."
For a few minutes, she remained silent. Even though he was extremely concerned
about her, Angel could see that she was trying to work through her thoughts so
he just waited for her to tell him what was wrong.
"My parents are getting a divorce," she finally whispered.
"Oh baby, I'm sorry," Angel said. Neither really noticed the
endearment, because they were both lost in their own thoughts.
From their many discussions, he was aware that her parents had a unhappy
marriage. With the knowledge of their many fights, he secretly thought that
this might be the best solution. However, he also knew that no matter the state
of their relationship, no child could easily accept the collapse of her world.
After sniffing back more tears, she finally continued, "Mom is moving to a
town a few hours away from here called Sunnydale and Dad is going to stay in
LA. She wants me to come with her, but Dad said that it was my choice."
Angel flinched as he immediately recognized the name of the town the housed the
Hellmouth. The thought of Buffy moving there, made his skin crawl. The kinds of
things that she faced in LA were nothing compared to the things the Hellmouth
would throw at her.
"I don't know what to do, I'm so confused," she said. Giving him a
begging glance, she asked, "What does this mean for me? What's going to
happen? I can't leave, I have my slaying responsibilities...and my
friends...and you..and..."
Angel placed a finger under her chin so that she was forced to look into his
eyes. Once her was sure he had her attention, he started to speak.
"You'll do what is best for you, Buffy. You are the only person who can
make this decision, because you are the one who has to live with it. Don't
think about the slaying, this is only about you. Your friends will be with you
no matter where you are, friendship is like that," he smiled.
"What about you?" she asked quietly.
"Me? I'm here with you, or there with you. It doesn't matter; I'm in this
for the long run. Where ever you decide to go, I'll follow."
"No more leaving when the watchers council?" she asked almost afraid
of the hope that his words caused.
His words were like a ray of sunshine cutting through her dark world. The
moment she was able to comprehend her parents announcement, everything in her
began to scream for Angel. He was the only one who could ever make her feel
safe. The love she felt for him made her feel whole.
Now, something in his tone and his vow made her realize that, possibly, the
love wasn't one sided.
"No, I can't leave you. Not after everything that we have been through
together," he replied.
"I can't believe you'd do that for me," she said, with awe apparent
in her voice.
"Of course, I will," he said. Feeling the need to lighted the mood,
he added, "Besides, I'm not going to leave the safety of my girl to a bunch
of people who couldn't even find you, in the first place."
Smirking at him slightly, she repeated, "Your girl?"
"Umm...." Damning himself for the slip-up, Angel tried in vain to
find a way out of the situation he had created.
"That's ok," Buffy said, gracing him with her first true smile since
her arrival. "I could definitely get used to the sound of that."
He turned back towards her to comment, but the look her saw in her eyes made
the words die in his throat. Love...undisguised and open for anyone to see.
Without thinking, he gently pulled her close and did the one thing he had
wanted to do since meeting her.
He kissed her.
At first, she was shocked. Even after his words, she hadn't been expecting it.
However, she quickly regained her sensed and returned his embrace.
Just as suddenly as he had started it, Angel pulled away from her, "We
can't...I shouldn't have..."
She quickly placed her hand against him mouth, efficiently stopping his
protest, "Angel, shut up."
With that, she pulled him to her once more, this time with even more passion
than the first.
Unable to do anything else, Angel gave in to the feelings that were raging
inside of him and returned her kiss. He put everything into it, wanting to show
her all of the things that was unable to express with words.
When they broke apart once again, they were both stunned at the emotions they
felt from simply kissing one another. Finally, Buffy moved back slightly, but
remained in the safe circle of his arms.
Leaning back against him, she chuckled slightly, "That took long enough, I
was starting to think it would never happen."
As much as he hated to, Angel had to express the thought that was plaguing him,
"Maybe it shouldn't have."
At his statement, she turned to face him, a disgruntled look marring her
delicate features.
Seeing her look, he quickly moved to clarify his statement, "Your really
young Buffy. I can't give you what you need, the things a normal man could give
you."
"What I need?" she asked as her expression changed once again, this
time it was tinged with humor. "Who are you talking to?"
"Buffy..."
"Angel...," she said mocking his tone. "Who is it that I always
run to when something is wrong? Who was it that turned his entire world upside
down to help me. Who is the one person in the world that I depend on to protect
me?"
With no real way to dispute her claim, Angel remained silent. It was true that
she would never find anyone else in the world who would work harder to make her
happy.
Seeing that she was getting through, she continued. "I don't think I will
ever find anyone who treats me like you do. As for the things you can't give
me, I really believe that they are out numbered by the things you can. It seems
to me that I have everything I ever wanted or needed right here."
The fact that she was willing to give up so much to be with him, meant more to
him than anything ever had before. His love for her swelled inside of him,
leaving no room for any of his doubts.
"Buffy," he sighed, "my strength is shot. I am so tired of fighting
what I feel for you."
"Then stop fighting, just feel," came her whisper.
Smiling, Angel decided to take her advice and once again pressed his lips to
hers.
An hour later, the two of them were still in his living room. As the time
passed, she had told him the whole story of her parents separation. It seemed
that they had been planning this divorce for a while, but they hadn't seen fit
to share the plans with Buffy. The divorce would be finalized within the week
and her mother would be leaving for Sunnydale the next.
Angel had also filled Buffy in of the activities of the Hellmouth. At first she
had been worried for her mother's safety, but Angel had assured her that things
were quiet there for now. He also told her that he had several contacts there
so they would know if anything were to begin.
They had been sitting quietly for a while when Buffy suddenly announced,
"I'm going to stay here, in LA."
"Are you sure? Don't do this because of me, I told you, I'll be wherever
you are," he stated.
She nodded, "I can't imagine leaving every one behind. I mean, I just
found my back up crew. I've never had friends like that before, they mean so
much to me. Also, I really don't want to leave LA."
Angel nodded. He had been trying to hide his dislike for the idea because her
hadn't wanted to influence her decision, but he was very relieved.
Suddenly Buffy laughed, "Besides, I just talked you into letting me
decorate."
At her mention of the discussion from the day before, Angel cringed, "You
promised, no bright colors."
"Don't worry," Buffy said, patting his shoulder, "You'll love
it, you'll see."
Angel couldn't resist and quickly kissed her once again.
"This is nice," Buffy sighed.
"Yeah," he returned.
Buffy stood, "Ok, I'm going to go, before I get distracted."
Nodding, Angel also stood and followed her to the door.
Before exiting, she turned towards him, "I can't believe how much better
you make things seem. I can hardly believe that just a few hours ago I was
questioning everything about my life. I just knew that there was no way things
in my life would ever be the same."
Placing a loose stand of hair behind her ear, Angel smiled, "You are so
strong, Buffy. So much stronger than you give yourself credit for being. All
you needed was someone to listen to you and let you vent your feelings."
"I don't know what I did to deserve you in my life," she stated.
"I am the one who needs to be asking that question, but never, never
question what you mean to me."
At his words, she blushed slightly, "I've got to go. I'll call and tell
you what they have to say.
"Ok."
Angel watched her leave and sighed to himself. He had just broken every promise
he had ever made to himself in regards to Buffy.
He'd never felt better.
