A/N:  Guess what!!!!  VV is out of the hospital!!!  And she's back at school, too!  Of course, I was the last to know because I was sick and and out of school, but you know…  She still needs your prayers though, please, because she is going to have to have chemotherapy.  And I'm sorry the last chapter took so long to get out, so please forgive me, but I did try!  I'm going to try and get this one out quicker.

Chapter 7

            "She looks more animated than she has since we left Earth," Cassie said to me, pointing at Toby.  I agreed.  I had only been with her for two days now, but she did look happier than she had before.  She was talking loudly with Indi in the Hork-Bajir language.  I smiled weakly.  At least one of us was having a good time. 

Ax, on the other hand, was sulking.  It was almost comical.  There was a borderline cute, four-eyed, blue centaur with a scorpion's tail hanging its head, drooping its stalk eyes, shuffling its hooves but kicking at the ground every couple of steps, and generally just acting like a two-year-old having a temper tantrum.  Yahal looked much the same.  Menderash walked near them with his arms folded and his face set like stone.  Every once in a while I could hear him ask or answer a question, and it usually had the word "Murkra" in it.  It was said with as much loathing as I heard whenever they said "Yeerk".  I could only assume that the two Andalites and the human nothlit were discussing what the Murkra had done.

Miaker, Leenear, and Raikon trailed along behind us, blinking their many eyes and scuttling sideways.  They looked nervous.  I didn't blame them; the Andalites were angry, and the Murkra were following around some aliens they barely knew, and only followed because they had a common enemy and bought their ship. 

"Yeah, I guess she does," I finally replied to Cassie.  "She looks really happy."

Cassie nodded.  "So, what do you expect us to do against the One and the Garatron?" she finally asked.

I sighed.  "Personally, I have no idea.  Toby seems to think that we need to help the Hork-Bajir, and I agree, because it was our fault that the Garatron showed up here in the first place."

"It wasn't our fault," she said.  "They shot at us first, and caused us to crash here.  Not our fault.  But I agree, we do need to help."

I nodded again, thoughtfully.  Marco and Sandra sauntered up.

"Hey, wuzzup?" Marco asked with a grin.  Sandra smiled.

"Nothing much," I answered, "just trying to figure out what we're going to do once we find the big evil guy."

Marco snickered.  "So, the fearless leader doesn't have a plan, huh?  Oh well, it's not like we ever had a plan fighting the Yeerks."  He winked as he said all this, so I would know that he was joking. 

Cassie and I laughed, and Sandra looked surprised.

"Heh, heh, heh, you didn't realize that we just rushed into things, did you?"  Marco asked Sandra.

She knitted her eyebrows and shook her head, confused.  "I didn't realize that it was like that at all," she said.

Rachel and Tobias, who was in human morph, walked up after overhearing a bit of our conversation.

"They make it look so glorious in the movies and books they made, but it wasn't that way at all," Cassie told her.  "We usually only had basic plans, with a lot of things that could and usually did go wrong.  It wasn't glorious at all.  It was slaughter."

Sandra looked concerned.  "I had no idea," she said sadly.

"It turned out okay, though, right?  I mean, we beat the Yeerks, and saved all the human race and the galaxy, got morphing technology for a few select humans, and have them about to go zipping around space!"  That was Rachel, of course.

I felt sick, suddenly, as though somebody had punched me in the stomach.  I stopped walking, and I saw Cassie look at me, concerned.  I closed my eyes for a second, and then opened them again. 

But I didn't see the rest of the Animorphs and some other people on the Hork-Bajir homeworld in front of me.  Instead, I saw Visser One standing in front of the viewing screen on the Pool ship, and on the screen was Rachel looking back at us, blood all around her.  There was a cobra laying in two pieces next to her.  A polar bear paw came from above her, killing her in an instant.  "No!" I yelled.  I closed my eyes and opened again, realizing that I had tears streaming from them.  I found myself on the ground in the mud, with Cassie, Rachel, Tobias, Ax, Marco, and Tom standing in a circle around me.  Sandra, Yahal, Toby, Menderash, General Doubleday, Guide, Jeanne, Indi, Captain Miaker and the other two Murkra, and Santorelli were standing together a bit further away, looking at me every few seconds with subdued looks.

"Hey, Midget, you okay?  What happened?" Tom asked, reaching down a hand for me so that I could stand up.

"I don't know," I told him.  I then looked at Rachel.  "No.  It was not okay.  You died.  Tom died.  Seventeen thousand Yeerks died.  James and his people died.  That was not okay."

The non-Animorphs were now whispering quietly.

She looked down.  I could almost see her squirming under my gaze.  "Tom and I are alive though.  And– well, I know that James and his people and the seventeen thousand Yeerks are dead, but, Jake, that was three years ago!  You did what you had to do, and we're all sorry that it turned out the way it did, but we couldn't help it."

Tom nodded at her, and then looked at me.  "Look at Rachel and I, Jake.  Does it look like we hold anything against you?  We don't.  I wanted to die.  I wanted that horrible thing out of my head, and if that meant dying, then so be it.  When the Yeerk decided to double-cross Visser One, I was excited.  I thought that maybe, just maybe he would be caught and killed.  Along with me.  And I would be free.  I don't know, because I didn't live through that timeline, but I'm quite certain that when we discovered Rachel was on the Blade ship, I was cheering for her in my own little corner of my mind.  And Rachel, from what I've heard, would have done what she did in that other timeline whether you had ordered her to or not.  We all wanted freedom for ourselves and our species, and most of us didn't expected to make it anyway, so I'm sure that the auxiliary Animorphs do not blame you either.  You told them the risk, yet they went anyway.  It was not your fault."

Cassie looked at me and, not wanting anybody else to hear, mouthed, "He's right."

I finally nodded my understanding and acceptance, and gave Tom a weak smile.  I grabbed his hand, and he pulled me up.  "Thanks, bro," I said softly, as everybody started to drift off and once again follow Indi.

"Hey, that's what I'm here for, right?" he asked with a lopsided grin.  "Now, don't get all mushy on me," he said as he lightly punched me in the shoulder.

I grinned back at him.  When I looked past him, I saw Jeanne Emilie Gerard smiling back at us.  "I think that someone's waiting for you, now that I'm okay," I teased him.

He looked behind him at Jeanne.  "Gotta go," he said to me.  "Get better, okay?"

I nodded again.  He turned around and went back to Jeanne, and they started to once again follow Indi hand in hand.

Cassie came back over.  "You're not okay." 

I looked at her.  She was so beautiful.  How could I have ever left her?  "No, I think I am.  It was just that one thing that Rachel said.  No matter what happens, that final battle is never going to be "okay"," I told her.

She smiled slowly.  "Yes."

I was confused.  "Yes what?"

"Yes.  I agree with you.  Death is not okay.  But freedom is."  She looked at me, and her grin widened.  "You are okay."

I hugged her close.  "Yes."  I smiled at her, and then kissed her for a moment.  I heard Marco laughing, and then ask Sandra if she would like to do the same.  I pulled away just in time to see Sandra slap Marco jokingly on the shoulder, and him yell out as a large red mark started to show.  She was laughing, and after a moment he grinned ruefully and took her hand in his.

I turned back to Cassie, who was smiling at me.  "I'm marrying the best girl in the universe, you realize that, don't you?"

She laughed, and took my hand.  I was feeling much better.  Rachel and Tobias came back over. 

"So, does anybody have any idea what we're going to do once we finally get there?  I mean, not necessarily a plan, but how are we going to kick butt on an all-powerful being and aliens that move faster than anything we've ever experienced before?"  Rachel questioned, bringing the topic back into discussion.

Ax, who had been walking nearby, came back over.  I thought that this was a mostly peaceful mission, and we were just going to try and negotiate.

"Well," I said, "officially, yes.  But judging by what they have done on sight the other times they've seen us, I'm guessing that –"

"We will need to fight them," Rachel cut me off.

Tobias laughed, but it looked strange on his face which had barely any expression.  "That's my girl, always first to a fight."

We all laughed, even Ax.  Everybody seemed to be in better spirits than before, what with Toby and Indi talking, Ax talking with us, Yahal, Menderash, General Doubleday, and Santorelli distracted with their same old discussion of human culture versus Andalite culture, and Tom and Jeanne in their own little world.  Even Captain Miaker, Leenear, and Raikon seemed to be a bit more at ease.  Only Guide seemed to be alone. 

Preoccupied, I looked at him, wheezing as he walked along.  Suddenly, he seemed to stumble.  I rubbed my eyes, thinking that maybe it had been a trick of the sunlight, because I had always thought him to be so steady; he would have to to live on the Iskoort homeworld where one wrong step could mean falling miles to the ground and your death.  But no, as I watched, he was swerving back and forth, as though he was drunk.  He put the tentacle-finger of his right hand to a hole in his head which I could only assume was his ear.  I though, Hmm, that's strange.  But just then, he just collapsed, and his whining grew unnaturally loud.  I was the only one to notice, and everybody else continued walking.  I stopped, and Cassie looked back to where I was gazing.

"Guide?" she asked, "are you alright?  What's wrong?"

He slowly turned his ugly face towards us.  Yoort, he finally managed to say, needs Kandrona.  It has been nearly three days.  Do you have any Kandrona?

Everyone else heard him now, and turned to look.  I felt myself go pale, and Cassie's grip on my hand became tighter.  "Oh, Guide…" she said, worry in her tone.

None of us knew where to find any Kandrona within light years of the Hork-Bajir homeworld.