You've been waiting. What funny thing will happen next. Sixteen chapter and she's still going. Last time we left our hero's they were in a plane being flown by a homeless guy named Jimbo Bob. But Imhotep caused it to crash because he could control sand.
Chapter 17: Cranes and talking bugs
So the plane crashed and it crashed and it crashed again. Wait. It only crashed once. And it wasn't even that bad of a crash. Who knows how many miles per hour they were going, but I guess the sand made the landing soft because nobody got hurt. Well I guess I should mention that there was one death. Jimbo Bob died.
"I hope he'll go to homeless guy's heaven." Rick said.
"In the big Rock Candy mountaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain . . ." He began to sing way off key till Are and Jon ganged up on him and beat him up for singing so badly.
______________________________________________________________________________
Meanwhile Imhotep and Beni and Evelyn were walking into the city of Hamanatra. They walked through a big room full of gold. Beni stopped to stare.
"Keep moving!" Imhotep yelled.
Then they stopped at the Magic Graveyard Hamanatra Bar.
"Just one drink." Imhotep said sheepishly when Beni gave him a strange look.
Then they passed through a huge library full of Egyptian text. This time Evelyn stopped to take in all the splendor.
"Keep moving." Beni said when he realized that she had stopped to look at a bunch of books. Anyone who got worked up on a bunch of books must have a loose screw, Beni thought.
Evelyn angry at Beni's treatment said, "You know bad guys like yourself . . .
"Let me guess." Beni interrupted. "They always get their come uppanze!"
"No, they never get a promotion." Evelyn said
"Ha, Ha." Beni said in a smart aleck voice. Then he realized what she was saying.
"They don't?" He asked scared.
"Never."
"You mean I'll be stuck as a jester all my life?"
"That's right."
Then Beni ran to catch up with Imhotep, feeling sorry for himself.
"At least let me become the head jester or somezing!" He yelled to no one in particular.
______________________________________________________________________________
"Lift it up a little higher. Higher. Higher. There!" Jon was telling Rick who was busy operating a crane. Somehow they had found some construction equipment and decided to make their own entrance into Hamanatra.
Are was busy knocking out walls with a bulldozer and he was having a pretty good time about it.
"Yee haw!" Are said as he rammed into another wall.
"How many walls are there to Hamanatra." Rick thought because after every wall they knocked down there was another one behind it. He shrugged and continued to dig through the rubble with his crane. Of course Are Deth didn't care because after the plane ride, this was the next best thing!
"Die wall, Die!" He yelled ramming into the twentieth wall they had encountered so far.
Jon was just standing off to the side telling them what to do. He really wanted a drink, but took his mind off everything by bossing Rick and Are around. "You know you should always wear you construction hats." He said putting on one of those bright yellow plastic hats.
"And back up a little ways before ramming into the next wall, Are!" He commanded.
"I always say safety should come before everything else." Jon was rambling.
"Never take your eyes off what you are doing and keep quiet as to not distract anyone else from what they are doing."
Rick and Are stopped what they were doing and glared at him because he wasn't following his own advice to shut up.
"Right." He said sheepishly. "Carry on then."
They continued their construction work, or should I say 'destruction'. Jon quiet bored because he didn't get to operate any machinery, (Doctor's orders!). So he decided to look at the wall. Now on the wall were pictures. "Just like my picture books at home." Jon thought.
Then he saw a gem shaped carved into a bug shape. At first he was a little queasy because he hated bugs. Then he saw how much it gleamed and shone in the torch light. "I'll be rich!" He thought gingerly grabbing it off the wall. "This could buy about a years supply of beer." he thought.
Then the gem cracked open and a big bug popped out. Now some of you might have been told this bogus story that the bug crawled under his skin. But even though bugs made his skin crawl this bug did not get under his skin, literally anyway. Right when the bug popped out, Jon immediately dropped it in fright.
"Thanks for awakening me!" The bug said.
"Huh?" Jon said confused.
"Who said that!" He asked waving his torch around frantically. Usually he only heard voices after drinking too much alcohol. But unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond his control, (like getting his nightlight stolen and sister captured, plus a bloody hell plane crash), he had no time to have a single sip of alcohol in the last couple of hours. (His secret stash of beer had leaked during the plane ride.)
"I did, you sorry excuse of a human!" The bug said angrily.
"What?" He said. (Maybe he was crazy and didn't need beer to hear voices and make things that normally didn't talk, talk.)
"Since when did bugs talk!" He just had to ask.
"Jon's talking to himself again." Are muttered when he looked over to see Jon mumbling something. Are didn't see the bug even though it was kind off big.
"Actually bugs have always been able to talk. It's only you humans who believe we can't!"
"Huh?" Jon said confused. He didn't like being confused when he was not drunk.
"And now that you freed me, you get the honor of being my first meal!" the bug said because he was a bit big headed. And the bug ran toward him. Now some of you may think this bug could run fast. And maybe it could. But let me tell you a well-known fact in the real world. Humans can outrun bugs! Bugs just fly faster. But we've even got them beat there. Ever try to race a bug in your car. They just end up on the windshield! Anyway back to the story.
"Ahh!" Jon yelled as the bug ran. Maybe it ran fast according to a bug's speed-o-monitor, but slow according to human speeds.
"What? What?" Rick said annoyed at Jon. The bug continued it's "slow" pace towards Jon.
Rick left his machine running, hopped out from the ten feet high crane seat, and ran over to Jon. Are remembered to shut his machine off, took out the key, and put it in park with the safety break on and walked down the steps calmly and over to Jon
"What's wrong?" He asked earnestly.
"A b, b, b . . . ." He muttered in fright.
"A what?" Rick asked.
Jon pinned himself to the wall then tried to climb it. For some reason Rick and Are didn't notice the bug. Maybe it was all part of his imagination.
He pointed down at the bug, his hand shaking wildly.
"A buuuuuuug!" he managed to get the words out of his mouth despite his apparent panic attack.
"What's so scary about a bug?" Rick said and went over a squished it with his foot.
Jon looked at Rick in disbelief.
"It . . . It was a big bug and . . . it was gonna eat me!" Jon said blubbering.
"Bugs have always been like that!" Are said calmly.
"Not where I come from!" Jon yelled.
"And it could talk!" he continued.
"Well I've never heard of a talking bug before." Rick said scratching his head.
"I guess if fleas can perform in a flea circus and shop in a flea market, maybe they can talk too!"
"That was no flea!" Jon yelled as Are looked at both the outlandish people strangely.
Before anyone else could speak, Rick's crane, (which he had left running) had crashed into another wall and broke. The crane crumbled into a thousand pieces because you see, it was a very old crane.
"I knew there were flying bugs and crawling bugs . . ." Rick said not noticing the mess he had caused.
"Rick!" Jon yelled.
"Maybe there are slithering one's too. But talking ones? I wonder what species they belong to . . ." Rick continued to speculate.
"Who cares!" Are yelled. "I found a way in!" He said pointing through a small hole the crane had caused. It seemed the wall Rick's crane had crashed through, didn't have another wall behind it. Are looked longingly at his bulldozer. Maybe they would run into more walls and he'd get a chance to use it!
"Come on!" Jon yelled. "Who knows what that mongrel's doing with my poor nightlight!"
"Aren't you worried about your sister?" Are asked.
"Oh yes." Jon remembered. "But my poor nightlight . . ."
.
.
.
[Sorry to those of you who do not like bugs. I just had to bring them back! And they will be in the story later too. So boycott me! I love the bugs! They are a mummy's best friend! Did I give you funny images in your head? Like Jon getting freaked out by a bug? And Ardeth getting worked up over a bulldozer? Poor Beni doesn't get his promotion!]
Y'all should pretty well know the routine by now. I always put up two chapters at a time. So don't stop reading now. I don't think there are any bugs in the next chapter. So read up!
Chapter 17: Cranes and talking bugs
So the plane crashed and it crashed and it crashed again. Wait. It only crashed once. And it wasn't even that bad of a crash. Who knows how many miles per hour they were going, but I guess the sand made the landing soft because nobody got hurt. Well I guess I should mention that there was one death. Jimbo Bob died.
"I hope he'll go to homeless guy's heaven." Rick said.
"In the big Rock Candy mountaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain . . ." He began to sing way off key till Are and Jon ganged up on him and beat him up for singing so badly.
______________________________________________________________________________
Meanwhile Imhotep and Beni and Evelyn were walking into the city of Hamanatra. They walked through a big room full of gold. Beni stopped to stare.
"Keep moving!" Imhotep yelled.
Then they stopped at the Magic Graveyard Hamanatra Bar.
"Just one drink." Imhotep said sheepishly when Beni gave him a strange look.
Then they passed through a huge library full of Egyptian text. This time Evelyn stopped to take in all the splendor.
"Keep moving." Beni said when he realized that she had stopped to look at a bunch of books. Anyone who got worked up on a bunch of books must have a loose screw, Beni thought.
Evelyn angry at Beni's treatment said, "You know bad guys like yourself . . .
"Let me guess." Beni interrupted. "They always get their come uppanze!"
"No, they never get a promotion." Evelyn said
"Ha, Ha." Beni said in a smart aleck voice. Then he realized what she was saying.
"They don't?" He asked scared.
"Never."
"You mean I'll be stuck as a jester all my life?"
"That's right."
Then Beni ran to catch up with Imhotep, feeling sorry for himself.
"At least let me become the head jester or somezing!" He yelled to no one in particular.
______________________________________________________________________________
"Lift it up a little higher. Higher. Higher. There!" Jon was telling Rick who was busy operating a crane. Somehow they had found some construction equipment and decided to make their own entrance into Hamanatra.
Are was busy knocking out walls with a bulldozer and he was having a pretty good time about it.
"Yee haw!" Are said as he rammed into another wall.
"How many walls are there to Hamanatra." Rick thought because after every wall they knocked down there was another one behind it. He shrugged and continued to dig through the rubble with his crane. Of course Are Deth didn't care because after the plane ride, this was the next best thing!
"Die wall, Die!" He yelled ramming into the twentieth wall they had encountered so far.
Jon was just standing off to the side telling them what to do. He really wanted a drink, but took his mind off everything by bossing Rick and Are around. "You know you should always wear you construction hats." He said putting on one of those bright yellow plastic hats.
"And back up a little ways before ramming into the next wall, Are!" He commanded.
"I always say safety should come before everything else." Jon was rambling.
"Never take your eyes off what you are doing and keep quiet as to not distract anyone else from what they are doing."
Rick and Are stopped what they were doing and glared at him because he wasn't following his own advice to shut up.
"Right." He said sheepishly. "Carry on then."
They continued their construction work, or should I say 'destruction'. Jon quiet bored because he didn't get to operate any machinery, (Doctor's orders!). So he decided to look at the wall. Now on the wall were pictures. "Just like my picture books at home." Jon thought.
Then he saw a gem shaped carved into a bug shape. At first he was a little queasy because he hated bugs. Then he saw how much it gleamed and shone in the torch light. "I'll be rich!" He thought gingerly grabbing it off the wall. "This could buy about a years supply of beer." he thought.
Then the gem cracked open and a big bug popped out. Now some of you might have been told this bogus story that the bug crawled under his skin. But even though bugs made his skin crawl this bug did not get under his skin, literally anyway. Right when the bug popped out, Jon immediately dropped it in fright.
"Thanks for awakening me!" The bug said.
"Huh?" Jon said confused.
"Who said that!" He asked waving his torch around frantically. Usually he only heard voices after drinking too much alcohol. But unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond his control, (like getting his nightlight stolen and sister captured, plus a bloody hell plane crash), he had no time to have a single sip of alcohol in the last couple of hours. (His secret stash of beer had leaked during the plane ride.)
"I did, you sorry excuse of a human!" The bug said angrily.
"What?" He said. (Maybe he was crazy and didn't need beer to hear voices and make things that normally didn't talk, talk.)
"Since when did bugs talk!" He just had to ask.
"Jon's talking to himself again." Are muttered when he looked over to see Jon mumbling something. Are didn't see the bug even though it was kind off big.
"Actually bugs have always been able to talk. It's only you humans who believe we can't!"
"Huh?" Jon said confused. He didn't like being confused when he was not drunk.
"And now that you freed me, you get the honor of being my first meal!" the bug said because he was a bit big headed. And the bug ran toward him. Now some of you may think this bug could run fast. And maybe it could. But let me tell you a well-known fact in the real world. Humans can outrun bugs! Bugs just fly faster. But we've even got them beat there. Ever try to race a bug in your car. They just end up on the windshield! Anyway back to the story.
"Ahh!" Jon yelled as the bug ran. Maybe it ran fast according to a bug's speed-o-monitor, but slow according to human speeds.
"What? What?" Rick said annoyed at Jon. The bug continued it's "slow" pace towards Jon.
Rick left his machine running, hopped out from the ten feet high crane seat, and ran over to Jon. Are remembered to shut his machine off, took out the key, and put it in park with the safety break on and walked down the steps calmly and over to Jon
"What's wrong?" He asked earnestly.
"A b, b, b . . . ." He muttered in fright.
"A what?" Rick asked.
Jon pinned himself to the wall then tried to climb it. For some reason Rick and Are didn't notice the bug. Maybe it was all part of his imagination.
He pointed down at the bug, his hand shaking wildly.
"A buuuuuuug!" he managed to get the words out of his mouth despite his apparent panic attack.
"What's so scary about a bug?" Rick said and went over a squished it with his foot.
Jon looked at Rick in disbelief.
"It . . . It was a big bug and . . . it was gonna eat me!" Jon said blubbering.
"Bugs have always been like that!" Are said calmly.
"Not where I come from!" Jon yelled.
"And it could talk!" he continued.
"Well I've never heard of a talking bug before." Rick said scratching his head.
"I guess if fleas can perform in a flea circus and shop in a flea market, maybe they can talk too!"
"That was no flea!" Jon yelled as Are looked at both the outlandish people strangely.
Before anyone else could speak, Rick's crane, (which he had left running) had crashed into another wall and broke. The crane crumbled into a thousand pieces because you see, it was a very old crane.
"I knew there were flying bugs and crawling bugs . . ." Rick said not noticing the mess he had caused.
"Rick!" Jon yelled.
"Maybe there are slithering one's too. But talking ones? I wonder what species they belong to . . ." Rick continued to speculate.
"Who cares!" Are yelled. "I found a way in!" He said pointing through a small hole the crane had caused. It seemed the wall Rick's crane had crashed through, didn't have another wall behind it. Are looked longingly at his bulldozer. Maybe they would run into more walls and he'd get a chance to use it!
"Come on!" Jon yelled. "Who knows what that mongrel's doing with my poor nightlight!"
"Aren't you worried about your sister?" Are asked.
"Oh yes." Jon remembered. "But my poor nightlight . . ."
.
.
.
[Sorry to those of you who do not like bugs. I just had to bring them back! And they will be in the story later too. So boycott me! I love the bugs! They are a mummy's best friend! Did I give you funny images in your head? Like Jon getting freaked out by a bug? And Ardeth getting worked up over a bulldozer? Poor Beni doesn't get his promotion!]
Y'all should pretty well know the routine by now. I always put up two chapters at a time. So don't stop reading now. I don't think there are any bugs in the next chapter. So read up!