Chapter 20: Mummies love their beer! Your-In!
Jon, Rick, and Are had only been at the bar for two minutes and already trouble was brewing. For one thing Jon was already drunk and when he was drunk he didn't always make very good decisions. Some mummies had walked into the bar and sat at the end of the bar being rowdy. Are and Rick looked nervously at them. It was not everyday they got to see mummies in there natural environment. It was not everyday they saw mummies actually up and walking around. It was not everyday they saw mummies at all, but especially not drunk ones like these.
Jon saw the mummy party and couldn't stand to not be the life of the party. So before Rick or Are knew it he was over their with his arm around one of the rotting corpses giving toast to the air and gulping down the brew.
Rick and Are went over to Jon and pulled him aside.
"Can I talk to you Jon!" Rick asked.
"I don't think it's a good idea to be hanging out with these Mummies." Rick said and Are nodded his head in agreement.
"Oh. Why not?" Jon asked knocking Rick hardly on the back.
"We're already fast friends." He said waving to a hot blond girl who just happened to be a mummy. Big surprise! : )
The gang of mummies started singing "Oh he's a jolly good fellow! Oh he's a jolly good fellow!"
They walked over to Jon and lifted him up into the air.
"Oh he's a jolly good fellow! Which nobody can deny!"
Jon was, in fact, having the time of his life while Rick and Are Deth looked on nervously. Jon looked at them.
"Oh come on Rick! You've got to taste this beer! Hamanatra sure knows how to brew the stuff!"
Rick grabbed a mug and Are put his hand on his arm.
"Are you sure that's a wise idea?" Are asked.
Rick ignored one and lifted it up to his lips. Imagine it now. The mug is lifting and lifting and lifting in slow motion. It's lifting, oh it's still lifting. Did I mention it is lifting. (You have to remember it is a very suspenseful moment because this is mummies beer and who knows what it will do if a human drinks it. Even though Jon drank it . . . But he can drink anything so he doesn't count. Years of drinking have made him immune to the negative effects of drinking or maybe it just made him dumb, I don't know.) But know this Rick is lifting the mug full of beer up to his lips. Got that picture? Good. He's still lifting the mug. And finally it reaches his lips and . . .
The crowd cheers!
. . .
A band plays in the background!
. . .
Bikini models wrap their arms around Rick!
. . .
A huge spotlight shines behind him and his mug of beer!
. . .
Gold litters his feet!
. . .
Some people start dancing the can-can.
. . .And I just lied because none of that stuff just happened.
He finally got the mug of beer to his lips and drank and . . .
Nothing special happened.
He just lowered his mug and smiled. (I could do a beer commercial!)
"Mmm! That does taste pretty good. Much better than the stuff they serve you at Cairo prison."
"What did they serve you there?" Jon said curiously.
"I think it was a special brand called something like 'Your-In'. Tasted kind of sour if you ask me."
"Your in?" Are asked puzzled.
"Yourin?" He said as if trying to figure out something.
"Ur in?" And then he got it.
"URINE!!!!! They served you urine!" he yelled at Rick.
"That's what I said. They served me 'Your In'." Rick said not seeing what the big deal was.
"They served you pee!" Are yelled. "Urine is another word for pee!"
"Oh." Rick said innocently. "No wonder it tasted so bad."
"Bad luck, old mum." Jon said laughing his you know what off.
"English isn't even my native tongue and I even knew that!" Are yelled. He knew he shouldn't be hanging out with these Bimbo's!
The mummies saw that Jon was laughing and asked him what he was laughing at.
"Old Rick here drank pee!" He said amusingly trying not to burst out laughing again.
"What's so funny about that?" One of the mummies asked. "That's one of the special ingredients in out beer!"
With that Jon spit it out and peered suspiciously into his mug. "Ah well." He said and took another swig.
"So why are you here anyways?" One of the smaller mummies asked.
"Yeah we don't see to many living people here." A low-pitched voice of some mummy commented.
"I came here a couple days ago." Jon said. "I didn't see you here!" Jon continued.
"We were sleeping." a mummy answered. "Yeah. Imhotep woke us up to go kill these people but old Immy won't mind if we have a drink first. Yeah. Just one!"
With that Jon's eyes widened. "You're only going to have one!" Jon yelled.
"Uh, time to go." Rick said.
"We have to find a book." Jon explained.
"Might go to the library." The bartender pointed to the right direction.
"Come on Jon." Growled Are and hauled him out of his seat.
"Bye guy's. We gotta go kill ourselves a mummy and stop him from performing a sacrifice."
Are and Rick looked at Jon unbelievably. But the mummies didn't seem offended.
"Come on Jon!" Rick growled and pinched his shoulder making this painful bone crunching noise.
"Bye mummies! See you in the afterlife!" Jon yelled as Rick and Are dragged him to the Hamanatra library.
"Say wasn't ol' Immy gonna perform a sacrifice?" One of the mummies in the gang at the bar said.
"Yeah!" One small mummy who we don't even know how he was walking around because he was just about to turn to dust. But like I said, Imhotep's 'fairy dust' must have been pretty strong to even wake up a corpse that's just about to be labeled as dust instead of corpse. This same one suddenly realized. "And isn't Immy a mummy?"
They all looked at this mummy strangely.
"We're all mummies!" A dark voiced mummy who was exceptionally juicy said to him sarcastically. "You must be a little extra rotted in the brains if you couldn't remember that!" He said bonking this one mummy one the head. Sure enough a hollow sound came from it. His head still stayed in tact surprisingly.
"So they're going after Immy?" One of the gang asked.
"Looks like it." This same juicy mummy said.
"That means we're supposed to kill him!" Another spoke up.
"Oh man! That Jon dude was kind off cool."
"Yeah too bad." The juicy mummy said sarcastically. "I'll really enjoy killing him."
"Let's go." This mummy said who seemed to be the boss of the whole group. The whole gang of mummies walked after the three non-mummies who had gone to the Hamanatra library. Before he had gotten far. The juicy mummy hurried back and took one more swig of alcohol. He had to preserve himself somehow. Unfortunately the dusty mummy never made it that far and was now just a pile of dust in the chair. "Too bad brother." The juicy mummy said and blew him away.
Instead of being a dusty mummy he was now a dust bunny! (I just had to put that in there!)
[Is Evelyn really afraid of rats. And how is Rick going to fight without his guns. What's Beni up to meanwhile. Find out when I decide to post my next chapter. If you were disappointed by these chapters, don't worry I assure you this story will get better. This story has been going through ups and downs throughout the whole thing. I really think I am a genius when I thought of the whole 'Your in' thing. You should have seen me when I thought of that. I was running through the house yelling "I'm a genius!" Did you get that joke right away? If you still don't get it too bad. You better get it. That is the finest joke I've come up with yet. Even though it is kind off disgusting.]
Jon, Rick, and Are had only been at the bar for two minutes and already trouble was brewing. For one thing Jon was already drunk and when he was drunk he didn't always make very good decisions. Some mummies had walked into the bar and sat at the end of the bar being rowdy. Are and Rick looked nervously at them. It was not everyday they got to see mummies in there natural environment. It was not everyday they saw mummies actually up and walking around. It was not everyday they saw mummies at all, but especially not drunk ones like these.
Jon saw the mummy party and couldn't stand to not be the life of the party. So before Rick or Are knew it he was over their with his arm around one of the rotting corpses giving toast to the air and gulping down the brew.
Rick and Are went over to Jon and pulled him aside.
"Can I talk to you Jon!" Rick asked.
"I don't think it's a good idea to be hanging out with these Mummies." Rick said and Are nodded his head in agreement.
"Oh. Why not?" Jon asked knocking Rick hardly on the back.
"We're already fast friends." He said waving to a hot blond girl who just happened to be a mummy. Big surprise! : )
The gang of mummies started singing "Oh he's a jolly good fellow! Oh he's a jolly good fellow!"
They walked over to Jon and lifted him up into the air.
"Oh he's a jolly good fellow! Which nobody can deny!"
Jon was, in fact, having the time of his life while Rick and Are Deth looked on nervously. Jon looked at them.
"Oh come on Rick! You've got to taste this beer! Hamanatra sure knows how to brew the stuff!"
Rick grabbed a mug and Are put his hand on his arm.
"Are you sure that's a wise idea?" Are asked.
Rick ignored one and lifted it up to his lips. Imagine it now. The mug is lifting and lifting and lifting in slow motion. It's lifting, oh it's still lifting. Did I mention it is lifting. (You have to remember it is a very suspenseful moment because this is mummies beer and who knows what it will do if a human drinks it. Even though Jon drank it . . . But he can drink anything so he doesn't count. Years of drinking have made him immune to the negative effects of drinking or maybe it just made him dumb, I don't know.) But know this Rick is lifting the mug full of beer up to his lips. Got that picture? Good. He's still lifting the mug. And finally it reaches his lips and . . .
The crowd cheers!
. . .
A band plays in the background!
. . .
Bikini models wrap their arms around Rick!
. . .
A huge spotlight shines behind him and his mug of beer!
. . .
Gold litters his feet!
. . .
Some people start dancing the can-can.
. . .And I just lied because none of that stuff just happened.
He finally got the mug of beer to his lips and drank and . . .
Nothing special happened.
He just lowered his mug and smiled. (I could do a beer commercial!)
"Mmm! That does taste pretty good. Much better than the stuff they serve you at Cairo prison."
"What did they serve you there?" Jon said curiously.
"I think it was a special brand called something like 'Your-In'. Tasted kind of sour if you ask me."
"Your in?" Are asked puzzled.
"Yourin?" He said as if trying to figure out something.
"Ur in?" And then he got it.
"URINE!!!!! They served you urine!" he yelled at Rick.
"That's what I said. They served me 'Your In'." Rick said not seeing what the big deal was.
"They served you pee!" Are yelled. "Urine is another word for pee!"
"Oh." Rick said innocently. "No wonder it tasted so bad."
"Bad luck, old mum." Jon said laughing his you know what off.
"English isn't even my native tongue and I even knew that!" Are yelled. He knew he shouldn't be hanging out with these Bimbo's!
The mummies saw that Jon was laughing and asked him what he was laughing at.
"Old Rick here drank pee!" He said amusingly trying not to burst out laughing again.
"What's so funny about that?" One of the mummies asked. "That's one of the special ingredients in out beer!"
With that Jon spit it out and peered suspiciously into his mug. "Ah well." He said and took another swig.
"So why are you here anyways?" One of the smaller mummies asked.
"Yeah we don't see to many living people here." A low-pitched voice of some mummy commented.
"I came here a couple days ago." Jon said. "I didn't see you here!" Jon continued.
"We were sleeping." a mummy answered. "Yeah. Imhotep woke us up to go kill these people but old Immy won't mind if we have a drink first. Yeah. Just one!"
With that Jon's eyes widened. "You're only going to have one!" Jon yelled.
"Uh, time to go." Rick said.
"We have to find a book." Jon explained.
"Might go to the library." The bartender pointed to the right direction.
"Come on Jon." Growled Are and hauled him out of his seat.
"Bye guy's. We gotta go kill ourselves a mummy and stop him from performing a sacrifice."
Are and Rick looked at Jon unbelievably. But the mummies didn't seem offended.
"Come on Jon!" Rick growled and pinched his shoulder making this painful bone crunching noise.
"Bye mummies! See you in the afterlife!" Jon yelled as Rick and Are dragged him to the Hamanatra library.
"Say wasn't ol' Immy gonna perform a sacrifice?" One of the mummies in the gang at the bar said.
"Yeah!" One small mummy who we don't even know how he was walking around because he was just about to turn to dust. But like I said, Imhotep's 'fairy dust' must have been pretty strong to even wake up a corpse that's just about to be labeled as dust instead of corpse. This same one suddenly realized. "And isn't Immy a mummy?"
They all looked at this mummy strangely.
"We're all mummies!" A dark voiced mummy who was exceptionally juicy said to him sarcastically. "You must be a little extra rotted in the brains if you couldn't remember that!" He said bonking this one mummy one the head. Sure enough a hollow sound came from it. His head still stayed in tact surprisingly.
"So they're going after Immy?" One of the gang asked.
"Looks like it." This same juicy mummy said.
"That means we're supposed to kill him!" Another spoke up.
"Oh man! That Jon dude was kind off cool."
"Yeah too bad." The juicy mummy said sarcastically. "I'll really enjoy killing him."
"Let's go." This mummy said who seemed to be the boss of the whole group. The whole gang of mummies walked after the three non-mummies who had gone to the Hamanatra library. Before he had gotten far. The juicy mummy hurried back and took one more swig of alcohol. He had to preserve himself somehow. Unfortunately the dusty mummy never made it that far and was now just a pile of dust in the chair. "Too bad brother." The juicy mummy said and blew him away.
Instead of being a dusty mummy he was now a dust bunny! (I just had to put that in there!)
[Is Evelyn really afraid of rats. And how is Rick going to fight without his guns. What's Beni up to meanwhile. Find out when I decide to post my next chapter. If you were disappointed by these chapters, don't worry I assure you this story will get better. This story has been going through ups and downs throughout the whole thing. I really think I am a genius when I thought of the whole 'Your in' thing. You should have seen me when I thought of that. I was running through the house yelling "I'm a genius!" Did you get that joke right away? If you still don't get it too bad. You better get it. That is the finest joke I've come up with yet. Even though it is kind off disgusting.]