You waited and waited. Now the day has finally come! Finally some action will be taking place and Rick may just get his guns back! The battle between our hero's and our bad guys begins today! So sit back and enjoy this . . . rather dusty battle between good and not-so-evil-but-still-not-good.
Chapter 22: The Precious Pee Shooter
Meanwhile Rick, Jon, and Are had found the library. Shelves of ancient books filled the room reaching up to the ceiling.
"We'll never find the book!" Jon yelled in frustration.
"Yes we will! Look!" Rick said pointing to the middle of the room where an small ivory statue of Horus the size of a fist sat on top of a golden book with a bright light shining on it from a hole in the roof.
"Well that was easy!" Jon yelled grabbing the book.
"Strange, I would have expected something a lot more elaborate and challenging." Are said suspiciously.
"Not so fast!" A voice from no where said.
They looked around confused because they saw no one.
"Who are you!" Jon finally yelled.
"I am the ghost of Christmas past . . ."
"Huh?" They all wondered aloud.
"I think you got the wrong story . . ." Jon yelled at the ghost. But they didn't have time to worry about it becausea gang of mummies were approaching.
"Have you come to have a drink with me!" Jon asked raising a cup of his secretly stashed beer. Don't ask me where he hid it!
"NO!" A dark and evil mummy said dark and evilly. "We've come to kill you!" he said again dark and evilly because he was a dark and evil mummy.
They all looked at the gang of mummies in fright. Just then they heardBeni jingling down the hall. They all stopped to watch Beni walk/jingle by. Beni didn't seem to notice anybody, as he was busy dragging around a big black bag. Jon almost started singing "Jingle Bells" because of Beni's jingling shoes, but both Rick and Are boxed him in the ears so Jon heard a ringing in his ears to go along with Beni's jingling.
Everyone stopped to watch as Beni walked in the room and still didn't notice the mummies or the hero's because he was too preoccupied dragging the big black bag through the room. He finally stopped to take a rest and wipe the prespiration from his forhead. He was quite unaware that he had stopped smack in the middle of the gang of mean mummies and our gang of hero's. Suddenly he saw the mummies.
"Eek!" He eeked and jumped back from the mummies and into Rick.
"Hello Beni!" Rick said haughtily.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Beni screeched and ran out of the room more scared that Rick would hurt him than the mummies.
"Bye, bye Beni. We could have had something . . ." Rick said sniffing and wiping an invisible tear from his eye.
"Oh not that again!" Jon said frustrated.
The mummies just stood there confused at the whole ordeal.
"Let's see what our ol' Beni was up too." Rick said walking cautiously over to the bag and looking into it. The mummies just stood there.
"Beni stole my guns!" Rick said pulling out all 50 of his guns. "Beni stole my guns, AGAIN!" Rick said examining them.
"Let me have one." Are said grabbing the biggest one.
"That's my trusty balck Widow." Rick said patting the gun Are had chosen. "Take care of her."
"I will." Are said seriously.
"I want some guns too!" Jon complained wanting to get on in the action as well.
Rick gave him two of the smallest guns he had.
"What's the name of these guns?" Jon said waving them wildly around because he was drunk.
Rick took a look at them and answered, "The one on your left is named Pea Shooter and the other one is Einny Minnie. Some good times I had with her . . ."
"Are you ready for us to kill you already?!" One of the mummies in the gang said. (They hadn't moved ever since Beni had left!)
"Uh, hold on!" Rick said and examined the rest of his 50 guns. After cocking all of them, he pointed them at the mummies as said "Ok. We're ready."
With that, all the mummies made their war cry and rushed at the group. They all shot at the mummies, which made dust fly all over the place. After coughing a lot, the mummies were still coming but had aquired a bunch of holes.
"Now they are madder than before!" Are realized.
"No, now they're a holy mummies!" Jon said making a joke at the most inapropriate time possible. Then Jon realized he was out of bullets and threw one of the guns at the mummies as they all backed up.
"Hey! That was my precious Pee Shooter!" Rick yelled and looked longingly at the gun being blocked from recovery by the mummies.
Suddenly Are jumped in from of Rick and Jon. "Go save the girl and kill the creature!" He yelled getting ready to fight off the mummies.
"What about you?" Rick asked.
"I'll be fine. Just go!"
"It's not a good idea to take on a bunch of drunk mummies you know! Or any mummies at all!" Jon speculated.
"GO!" Are yelled and turned to the mummies and declared, "I challenge you to a contest!"
The mummies, who must walk pretty slow because they had still not caught up to the heros, now stopped wondering what this guy in black robes was talking about.
"What sort of contest?" One mummy said. It might have been the dark and evil one, but we don't kow for sure.
"An arm wresling contest!" Are declared and pushed his sleeve all the way up to his shoulder showing off an exceptionally strong arm.
"Come on." Rick told Jon. "Looks like Are can take care of himself."
"But I want to watch the arm wresling contest!" Jon whined but Rick tugged at him.
"Don't worry!" Are yelled back. "I won every championship among the Med Jai guards!"
What he didn't mention was that he had never arm wresled a mummy, but I guess he didn't need to mention that small fact because I'm sure you already assumed that.
______________________________________________________________________________
How was that? So much action! Such a thriller and such a comedy, at the same time! Woo hoo! I hope I get more review than last time. I was rather disapointed. But maybe you didn't like those chapters as much. Or perhaps you are getting tired of this story already. I wonder if there has ever been such a long parody like this before. I'll never know.
Oh yes. I'm not sure if I ever did any type of disclaimer to this story. So in order for me to stay out of any legal trouble, I'm just telling you I do not own The Mummy and it's characters. But you already pretty much knew that . . .I hope.
Chapter 22: The Precious Pee Shooter
Meanwhile Rick, Jon, and Are had found the library. Shelves of ancient books filled the room reaching up to the ceiling.
"We'll never find the book!" Jon yelled in frustration.
"Yes we will! Look!" Rick said pointing to the middle of the room where an small ivory statue of Horus the size of a fist sat on top of a golden book with a bright light shining on it from a hole in the roof.
"Well that was easy!" Jon yelled grabbing the book.
"Strange, I would have expected something a lot more elaborate and challenging." Are said suspiciously.
"Not so fast!" A voice from no where said.
They looked around confused because they saw no one.
"Who are you!" Jon finally yelled.
"I am the ghost of Christmas past . . ."
"Huh?" They all wondered aloud.
"I think you got the wrong story . . ." Jon yelled at the ghost. But they didn't have time to worry about it becausea gang of mummies were approaching.
"Have you come to have a drink with me!" Jon asked raising a cup of his secretly stashed beer. Don't ask me where he hid it!
"NO!" A dark and evil mummy said dark and evilly. "We've come to kill you!" he said again dark and evilly because he was a dark and evil mummy.
They all looked at the gang of mummies in fright. Just then they heardBeni jingling down the hall. They all stopped to watch Beni walk/jingle by. Beni didn't seem to notice anybody, as he was busy dragging around a big black bag. Jon almost started singing "Jingle Bells" because of Beni's jingling shoes, but both Rick and Are boxed him in the ears so Jon heard a ringing in his ears to go along with Beni's jingling.
Everyone stopped to watch as Beni walked in the room and still didn't notice the mummies or the hero's because he was too preoccupied dragging the big black bag through the room. He finally stopped to take a rest and wipe the prespiration from his forhead. He was quite unaware that he had stopped smack in the middle of the gang of mean mummies and our gang of hero's. Suddenly he saw the mummies.
"Eek!" He eeked and jumped back from the mummies and into Rick.
"Hello Beni!" Rick said haughtily.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Beni screeched and ran out of the room more scared that Rick would hurt him than the mummies.
"Bye, bye Beni. We could have had something . . ." Rick said sniffing and wiping an invisible tear from his eye.
"Oh not that again!" Jon said frustrated.
The mummies just stood there confused at the whole ordeal.
"Let's see what our ol' Beni was up too." Rick said walking cautiously over to the bag and looking into it. The mummies just stood there.
"Beni stole my guns!" Rick said pulling out all 50 of his guns. "Beni stole my guns, AGAIN!" Rick said examining them.
"Let me have one." Are said grabbing the biggest one.
"That's my trusty balck Widow." Rick said patting the gun Are had chosen. "Take care of her."
"I will." Are said seriously.
"I want some guns too!" Jon complained wanting to get on in the action as well.
Rick gave him two of the smallest guns he had.
"What's the name of these guns?" Jon said waving them wildly around because he was drunk.
Rick took a look at them and answered, "The one on your left is named Pea Shooter and the other one is Einny Minnie. Some good times I had with her . . ."
"Are you ready for us to kill you already?!" One of the mummies in the gang said. (They hadn't moved ever since Beni had left!)
"Uh, hold on!" Rick said and examined the rest of his 50 guns. After cocking all of them, he pointed them at the mummies as said "Ok. We're ready."
With that, all the mummies made their war cry and rushed at the group. They all shot at the mummies, which made dust fly all over the place. After coughing a lot, the mummies were still coming but had aquired a bunch of holes.
"Now they are madder than before!" Are realized.
"No, now they're a holy mummies!" Jon said making a joke at the most inapropriate time possible. Then Jon realized he was out of bullets and threw one of the guns at the mummies as they all backed up.
"Hey! That was my precious Pee Shooter!" Rick yelled and looked longingly at the gun being blocked from recovery by the mummies.
Suddenly Are jumped in from of Rick and Jon. "Go save the girl and kill the creature!" He yelled getting ready to fight off the mummies.
"What about you?" Rick asked.
"I'll be fine. Just go!"
"It's not a good idea to take on a bunch of drunk mummies you know! Or any mummies at all!" Jon speculated.
"GO!" Are yelled and turned to the mummies and declared, "I challenge you to a contest!"
The mummies, who must walk pretty slow because they had still not caught up to the heros, now stopped wondering what this guy in black robes was talking about.
"What sort of contest?" One mummy said. It might have been the dark and evil one, but we don't kow for sure.
"An arm wresling contest!" Are declared and pushed his sleeve all the way up to his shoulder showing off an exceptionally strong arm.
"Come on." Rick told Jon. "Looks like Are can take care of himself."
"But I want to watch the arm wresling contest!" Jon whined but Rick tugged at him.
"Don't worry!" Are yelled back. "I won every championship among the Med Jai guards!"
What he didn't mention was that he had never arm wresled a mummy, but I guess he didn't need to mention that small fact because I'm sure you already assumed that.
______________________________________________________________________________
How was that? So much action! Such a thriller and such a comedy, at the same time! Woo hoo! I hope I get more review than last time. I was rather disapointed. But maybe you didn't like those chapters as much. Or perhaps you are getting tired of this story already. I wonder if there has ever been such a long parody like this before. I'll never know.
Oh yes. I'm not sure if I ever did any type of disclaimer to this story. So in order for me to stay out of any legal trouble, I'm just telling you I do not own The Mummy and it's characters. But you already pretty much knew that . . .I hope.