A/N: Wow! I had never expected such a response! By the way, this is better if you have read the storyline. Oookay, here comes the much-awaited next chapter:
The Squashed Ultimate X-Men (Which, by the way, was very hard to make humouristic. I'm afraid I didn't quite succeed.)
Part one:
Sentinels: Find mutant-kill-find mutant-kill-this job is underpayed-find mutant-kill
Marvel Girl: I'm running around and gathering recruits and looking sexy. Gotta catch 'em all!
Professor X: I found you all with Cerebro. Now I found Bobby. Go get 'im!
(They destroy a lot of sentinels.)
Marvel Girl: It's falling!
Iceman: Ice!
Everybody: Keeeewl.
Crowd: Let's kill our savior! (A/N: Oh, God, I've comparing the Iceman to Jesus...)
Magneto's place
Magneto: Charles is up.
Quicksilver: I'll kill him, 'cause I'm really bloodthirsty.
Magneto: Don't be stupid, son. Shut up and go tell Wolverine to kill him.
Quicksilver (thinking): How am I supposed to shut up and give a message at the same time?
Part two:
Wolverine: I can do anything, 'cause I'm a professional, bub.
John Wraith: Fire!
Beast: Yes, I'm a show-off.
Marvel Girl: Cyclops is really shy. (Thinking: I nead a real man, or I'm gonna explode.)
Professor X: Cerebro picked up someone. It's Wolverine.
Cyclops+Marvel Girl: Whaaaat!?!?
Storm: Who?
Cyclps: Really scary killer person.
Professor X: Go get 'im!
X-Men: Yeah!
Meanwhile:
John Wraith (to Wolverine): Nyah-ha-haaa! We can do anything, 'cause you're behind adamantium bars, and you can't die-e!
Outside:
Storm: Whoooosh!
Cyclops: Fighty-fighty!
Colossus: Crap. I can't bend these.
Wolverine: Open up, tubby!
Beast: Ungrateful...There.
Wolverine steals a motorcycle and goes after Wraith. Somehow he gets past them, and stands there on the road, looking a lot like Sabretooth, although you mustn't tell him I said that, because then, I'll get a bellyfull of adamantium, and that's not my favourite diet.
Now Marvel Girl knocks him out, and threathens Wraith, and walks away.
Magneto's place:
Toad: How could that happen?
Magneto: It was all my plan. (Thinking: How could that happen?)
Part three:
News announcer: Some bad, bad muties just took the president's liddle widdle girlie. (Why can't any of your presidents get sons?)
Professor X: Go get 'er!
X-Men: Uh...Yeah...
Lot of messing, and they rescue the President's daughter, and Wolverine gets a chance to show off.
Colossus: Here's Maggie.
Storm: I think Beast's dead.
Narrator voice: Is Beast really dead!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Audience: Naaaah....
Part four:
People shooting at them. Cyclps gets hit. He says he doesn't get hurt because of the kevlar, but since I don't know what that is, I'll just say the bullet reflected from these biggy muscles Cyclops has been sporting lately.
Storm: Xavier is a bad man, since he makes us risk our lives for a snotty little brat. (And we all agree.)
Magneto: You're all fools. Get home.
Scarlet Witch: Father, do you think Wolverine has changed sides?
Magneto: Naw, he's just trying to bed some woman first. (As if we didn't know that.)
Xavier's place:
Xavier+Marvel Girl: Fixy, fixy, fixy....
Wolverine: How is he?
Marvel Girl: Okay, but he might be feeling a bit blue...
Wolverine: Oh. Kisses Marvel Girl so she's weak in the knees. Cyclops watches, Wolverine grins evilly. Okay, so the girl can't read his mind because of the Weapon X thingie, but gimme a break. Can't she see that he's not paying attention!?
Cyclops: (Thinking bad words.) Leaves for the Savage Land.
Beast: Oh, great. Blue hair. Huh, at least I didn't get fur.
Part five:
London: BOOOM!
Cyclops: What about the warning, Quicksilver?
Quicksilver (not meaning it): Sorry.
Scarlet Witch: Don't worry about him.
Marvel Girl: Worry, worry, worry...
Wolverine: Come on into bed, baby.
Marvel Girl: Okay. Giggle.
The President: I'm gonna send a lotta Sentinels to the Savage Land, exterminate the muties there...
Professor X: Risk all of humanity...
The President: Can't be helped.
Sentinels: Off to work, again.
Savage Land:
Cyclops: I don't like killing.
Magneto: Me, either. (!?!?????) We have to rid ourselves of these inferiors. As the most intelligent species, it's out duty. (Has he spoken to Toad and Blob lately?)
Quicksilver: Sigh, moan, father doesn't understand me.
Scarlet Witch: Poor baby.
Sentinels: Bang-bang-swoosh-nyah-ha-haaa!
Magneto: A little disorder here, and they'll hunt homo sapiens inferior.
Cyclops: Hi, prof, it's me...
Part six:
Marvel Girl: Bad Wolverine, coming here to kill the professor!!
Wolverine: Thought you'd be glad I confessed...(Thinking: After those rounds, and she's still got spunk? I'll have to try leather whips if I get the chance...) (A/N: Okay, that was off limit...)
Professor X: Get here and defend people!
Savage Land:
Cyclops: Stand up to your daddy, Quicksilver! (Thinking: 'Cause if you don't, we might be dead meat...)
Washington D.C.:
Marvel Girl: Fight, dudes! You're cool! Hey, Wolverine, don't think of hurting the professor!
Wolverine: Don't worry, babe.
Magneto: Wha-ha-haaa- eh? What?
Professor X: Hi.
Magneto: Die.
Wolverine: Eat adamantium, Magneto!
Magneto: Oh no, you won't kill me in this storyline, too!
Quicksilver: Yeah! I snagged my daddy's helmet!
Professor X: Now I can take over him. He-heh. Revenge. Oh, how not-Xavier-like!
Magneto: NOOOO!
Professor X: Bye-bye.
Later:
Everybody: Yeah! We won!
Cyclops: Wolverine's leaving? **Snigger** So sad...
Professor X: Hehehh, I know... Now, this was just child's play. Let's get ready for round two.
Next: The squashed X-Men the Movie!