A/N: Sorry this took so long! I just have too many stories to write, and I
never got time to see the movie again so I could put the scenes in right
order! (And then Fanfiction went down, and lightening hit the telephone box
so I couldn't connect to the net...)

THE SQUASHED X-MEN THE MOVIE

Major headache intro.

Cut to Nazi death camp, where Magneto shows off for the first time.

Cut to Mississippi, where Rogue moans about her nasty-bad powers for the
first time.

Note: Some time passed between.

Cut to some hearing.

Jean: Blah-blah-bl-

Kelly: BLAH-BLUH-BLAH!!!

Crowd: Go Kelly!

Magneto: Homo superior are...superior.

Canada:

Wolverine: I'm beatin' the crap outta people in a cage.

Rogue: Ah'm just here; Ah've run away.

Foolish man: I'm attackin' that mutie...

SNIKT

....and wetting my pants.

Rogue: Oh mah Gawd...Hey, claw-man, wait!

On the road again:

Sabretooth: GRRR!!

Wolverine: CRASH! (Well, he didn't really say crash, he just went crash.)

Cyclops+Storm: We're cool silent dudes in black leather.

Magneto's place:

Toad: Weren't you supposed to bring someone with you?

Sabretooth: Grrrr.

Magneto: You failed.

Sabretooth: Grrrr.

The mansion:

Wolvie wakes up, nearly strangles Jean, runs off, steals clothes, hears
voices and ends up in Xavier's office.

Professor X: Hi, I'm professor Charles Xavier, and intolerable
know-it-all... Did I say that out loud? (No, but everybody knows he is.)

Introduces Jean, Storm, Cyclops.

Tour de Mansion.

Someplace else:

Crowd: Go Kelly!

Kelly: Go me!

Enters the helicopter without noticing the green pilot.

Kelly: Oh, yes, muties are so bad, bad, bad...Guyrich, what's up with your
skin?

Mystique: I'm not Guyrich, you little fart. I'm way too sexy. And every guy
in the room agrees, because, oh my, she's not wearing any clothes! Of
course, some of us wonder how it's anatomically possible that she's the
mother of – er, was it three children? But I'm getting sidetracked here.

The mansion:

How the hell could Wolverine agree to a medical check, with his bad
memories? Hm, maybe Jean had something to do with that... One way or
another...

Jean: Woopsy. Adamantium.

Scott: Huh.

Storm: How?

Jean: Healing factor.

Storm: Oh.

Xavier: Experimenting on mutants. Disgusting.

Magneto's place:

Magneto: Hullo, senator.

Kelly: Aaargh, a mutie.

Magneto: Yup.

Magneto shows off a lot, looking rather weird at the time. Give the man a
helmet!

The mansion:

Jean: Here's your room.

Logan: Thanks. Read my mind.

Jean does. It's filled with cham-pain. I would've thought something else
was at his mind at that moment...

Then comes some nightmaring, Rogue-stabbing and show-off of powers.

Magneto's place:

Kelly gets out. Magneto still shows off a lot.

Sabretooth: Grrr?

Magneto: Hey, there you are, senator.

Sabretooth: Grroops. Drops Kelly.

Magneto: Idiot. Slams the metal bars shut.

Sabretooth: GRRRRR!!!

Then Kelly gets to scare everybody at the beach.

The mansion:

Bobby tells Rogue to leave. Then we see that Bobby is Mystique. Then we
meet Cerebro, and get another headache from that search. Makes you glad you
aren't a telepath.

Then we all fall in love with Cyclops' bike.

Train:

Logan: Hey, kid.

Rogue: Hey.

Very touching heart-to-heart.

At the mansion, Mystique breaks into Cerebro.

The heart-to-heart talk still goes on.

Train station:

Storm: Woops.

Sabretooth: Grrrr!

Cyclops: Hands – uh, tongue off my visor, you slimy Toad!

Storm makes the lightning hit Sabretooth, and what does he say? Oh, yes,
you got it right!

Sabretooth: GRRRR!

Toad: Quit playing around!

Sabretooth: Grrr.

Train:

Enter Magneto. He shows off a lot, and then takes Rogue.

(The part we didn't see:

Jean to Xavier: What are you waiting for?

Xavier: Hang on, I have to find the part of Sabretooth's brain that can say
something other than Grrr!)

Outside:

Cop: Rise your hands.

Magneto: Okay.

Cars: Hey, we're flying!

Sabretooth/Xavier: Grabs Magneto's neck: Grrr...Uh, that's enough, Eric.

Toad/Xavier: Let them go.

Magneto: Face me, Charles!

Maggie nearly kills some cops so Chucky shall let him go, which he does.

Mansion:

Logan: You guys are inept. Bye-bye, I'm gonna sniff around the world after
Rogue. Shouldn't be too difficult.

Uh, Chucky, why don't you search for the four mutants that aren't
impossible to find? Oh, yeah, Kelly has to come first.

Enter Kelly.

Melting Kelly.

Chuck reads mind, then goes to Cerebro. That doesn't look very good.

Then Jeannie gets to show off a bit. Good fer her.

Manhattan:

Speaker: Yada, yada, blah, blah.

The Brotherhood are on the move. Toad gets to show how cool he is.

Magneto (to Rogue): Yada, yada, blah, blah.

Mansion:

Cyclops: Hey, look at this cool map!

Audience: Wow.

Blackbird: Finally, I'm in.

Everybody who aren't scared of heights and have a slight interest in
different transport vehicles start drooling.

Wolverine: Do you actually go outside in these things? (Indicating
uniforms.)

Cyclops: What would you prefer, yellow spandex? (A/N: Who got that one?
It's just so good! Especially for those who've read some comics and seen
Wolvie's costume...)

Statue of Liberty:

First the whole metal detector thing, and Logan shows everybody how you can
show somebody the finger with a claw. And, horrors of all horrors, Cyclops
smiles! Which proved once and for all that he really isn't that much of a
prick/dick with a stick (up his ass.)

Fighty-fighty, with some incredible remarks. Wolvie starts fighting
Mystique, while Toad deal with the rest. Storm is knocked down an elevator.
Then she comes up again.

Toad: Don't you people ever die!?

Storm: Nope.

Bye-bye, Toad. See you in the next movie.

And then...you know.

Wolvie comes back.

Logan: Hey, it's me.

Cyclops: Prove it.

Logan: You're a dick.

Cyclops: Okay. (See what I mean!? A stuck up Cyke wouldn't have said that!)

Sigh. They're soooo easy. Maggie enters, and nails them all to the walls.
Makes you slap your head and wonder when doom will come, since these are
humanity's last hope.

Then Magneto holds another speech. I think he talks so much because
Mystique says barely anything, all of Toad's lines have been accounted for
in this story, and while Sabretooth says rather much, it's seldom anything
else than "Grrrr".

Then Magneto leaves.

Logan: Okay, this'll hurt.

Sabretooth: Grrrrr?

Logan: THUD! Ouch...

Higher up:

Rogue: Ouch!

Further down:

It's a fight, Wolvie vs. Sabiebaby, during which, as far as I can tell,
Logan says BUB!!! for the first and only time in the entire movie.

Logan: Here's the visor.

Jean: Got it.

Cyclops: Zappa zaaaap BANG!!!!

Sabretooth: GRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr......

Logan: Nice shot. Here, you're loose. Send me up.

Logan fights Maggie, and with a little help from Cyke, defeats him.

Then comes the most touchy moment of them all, when we all start crying,
where Logan gives little Marie his power so she'll live. Cuuuuute.....

Mansion:

Jean: Wakey-wakey, Charles.

A bit later:

Jean: Wakey-wakey, Logan.

Logan: Hey. I won't chase you anymore. Bye.

Jean: Okay. Bye.

On the TV, Mysti is on the move, and watching it, Cyclops actually swears!
(He says Son-of-a-Bitch.)

Rogue and Logan says bye-bye, Rogue gets his dog-tags, and Logan takes
Cyclops' bike. Did he get it or steal it? I mean, it did just stand there,
his for the taking!

The End with a chess game, which Xavier wins, of course.

It ends, saying see ya later! The movie, I mean.

As a result of this movie, many people went around saying things like,
"You're a dick, okay", "Don't you people ever die", and "Ah don't want ya
to leave". Among other things. A lot of people fell in love with Hugh
Jackman/Wolverine (well, a lot of girls, anyway). Personally, it made me
pant whenever I see Sabretooth. Okay, so Jackman is in the next one, but is
Tyler Mane there too? Please, please, pleasepleaseplease let it be so!



A/N: Next chapter won't come until "Poptopia" is over, so you'll have to
wait just as long for that one.