Whee! A Yamagi/Roose fic! I've been dying to write one. I finally got inspired last night, so I churned out this little ficlet. It'll probably be subject to revision in the future. Enjoy!
Warnings: Shonen-ai and possibly OOC-ness. I tried to portray Yamagi as best I could, but it's still pretty flawed.
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You can't really define night on GOA. The space academy is wrapped in an endless blanket of stars, and the only way to determine "night" from "day" is by the time. Candidates and staff alike had strict schedules, as GOA was merely the pilot-training puppet of GIS, and the only way GIS would get their ideal pilots was for them to wrap GOA around their ever-twitching fingers. Because of this, pilot and repairer candidates alike learned to cherish their free time, for GIS could change the schedules around in an instant if they wished.
Today was a very different day, however. Normally, at 1700 hours, activity was dying down. Dinner was over, extracurricular practice sessions were coming to an end, and the training equipment was being checked for errors and shut down for the "night". But tonight, the GOA ship was teeming with activity. News spread like wildfire that one of the pilots, Ernest Cuore, had died, and his little brother was being promoted to pilot status. Candidates were gossiping left and right, as well as taking the opportunity to get in some extra practice before the upcoming test to determine the new Top Candidate. Teenage boys filled the training rooms, eager to best their friends and colleagues.
Some boys chose not to go practice. Some spent quality time with their repairers. Some spent much-earned time alone. Some of them decided to speculate and analyze the situation amongst their peers. And then there were the few that sectioned off into the relaxation area. Lots of free time to do what you please with whomever you choose was a rare commodity on GOA, and everyone wanted to take full advantage of it.
Roose Sawamura buried his head in his fellow candidate's lap, enjoying the scenery and calm of the relaxation room. He had finally convinced Yamagi, after a lot of arguing, that they should spend their free time tonight bonding, instead of training diligently like he always wanted to do.
Yamagi leaned back, supported by his arms, and snorted. "I'd rather be practicing, you know."
Roose sighed. "I know."
"If you know, then why are we still here?" Yamagi looked down and gave Roose a pointed look.
"I'm worried." There was a definite sadness in his voice.
"About what?"
"Everything."
Yamagi snorted again, sitting up straight. "Aren't you always? You have that crazy woman as your repairer -who still wants to kill me, by the way- and--"
"Tsukasa is crazier than Wrecka-chan, Yamagi-kun."
"That's not the point." Yamagi hated being wrong. "There's a lot you could possibly worry about, so why is it coming out NOW?"
"Because that one pilot died." Roose looked up at Yamagi, worry and near panic written in his face.
"Pft. That pilot had nothing to do with us. If anything, it means we're a step closer to being pilots ourselves."
"But...but..." Roose whimpered.
"But what?" Yamagi said, mildly irritated. He hated when Roose started to whine.
"They say that this pilot guy was very close to one of the other pilots, and died to save him."
"So?"
"What if that happens to us?"
"That doesn't make any sense."
"I mean, what if one day we're both pilots and something bad happens to one of us and the other tries to help and ends up dying? What will happen to the other one?" This time Roose wasn't really whining, but you could hear it in his voice. Yamagi wanted to flinch, but thought better of it. He could tell that Roose was serious about this. But this, unfortunately, was pretty much the extent of his cautiousness around Roose's emotions.
"That would mean we'd have to BE pilots first."
A faint, almost unnoticeable sparkle lit up in Roose's eyes. He smiled lovingly. "You would be a pilot, Yamagi-kun, I know you would."
Yamagi felt a faint blush try to creep up onto his cheeks. He bit down his embarrassment and argued, "That doesn't explain how YOU would become a pilot."
Roose immediately turned away and frowned, but not before Yamagi noticed the sadness and regret sweep over his face. "I really do try, Yamagi-kun."
Yamagi winced. He had never really gotten used to the whole relationship bit. He didn't have much of a problem with being in a relationship with a guy, and he had to give Roose credit for getting up the courage to say something about it, but it was an awkward situation. Yamagi had never had to work a supporting someone else like that before, and sometimes he found it hard to express love. He never liked being open with his emotions. They always brought him down somehow. But he couldn't say no - not with Roose and his pleading, love-filled green eyes and his sad demeanor. It was a tough way of dealing with things, but Yamagi was willing to take the challenge. No challenge was too tough for Yamagi Kushida to handle!
Yamagi ran a hand through his spiky purple hair and sighed. He scooted closer to his boyfriend and lay down next to him. "I'm sorry."
Roose sighed. "You're right. I'll never be a pilot."
Yamagi was nervous, and afraid he might say the wrong thing or come off weak, but his bundled up all his pride and tried to sound like he was as confident as ever. "I think you can do it. You just have to stop being afraid of things."
"How?" There was a shakiness in his voice that Yamagi couldn't quite place.
"You just gotta stop being afraid of things. Zero got over that zero-gravity thing, and he's fine now."
"But he's brave. He stands up to everyone. Even Hiead-kun and Azuma-kyokan."
Yamagi grumbled jealously to himself for a moment, and said, "Well you should use him as an example or something. If you were as crazy in battle as he is then you wouldn't have a problem."
Roose pondered this a moment, and then his face lit up with joy and determination. "Okay Yamagi-kun! I'll try it! For you!" Yamagi smiled awkwardly in response.
They sat in silence for a short while after that. For one it was warm and comforting, for the other it was tense and nerve-racking. Yamagi didn't want to be too "lovey-dovey", for fear of being found out by a fellow candidate, and losing his entire tough guy reputation. But he wanted to make Roose feel better, because he felt it was his duty to be the loving, reassuring on top of everything boyfriend. He argued silently to himself. Do something! No! Kiss him! I can't. Wuss! Shut up! You can't do something sweet! You're afraid of you're own boyfriend! I am NOT! Then do something!
Yamagi hesitantly wrapped his arm around Roose's waist. The other boy practically squeaked with joy and snuggled into the touch. Yamagi sighed, somewhat contentedly, and the silence continued, comfortable for both parties.
"Yamagi-kun?" Roose asked.
"Huh?"
"Are you sad that Erts left?"
"I dunno. I didn't really know him. All I knew was that he was Top and Zero worshipped the ground he walked on." Yamagi said simply, after thinking on it a moment.
"Zero-kun is very upset about it. I'm worried about him."
"You worry about everything."
"I'm sorry!" The signature Roose whine permeated through the statement.
"Stop that!" Yamagi snapped.
"Stop what?" A hesitant whine.
"The whining!"
"Sorry again, Yamagi-kun." Roose didn't say anything for a while after that. Suddenly the intercom came on, and the threatening voice of Azuma rang out.
"Attention all candidates! You have 15 minutes to finish whatever you may be doing and head to your bunks! You will be penalized if you are not in bed after that time limit! Classes will go on tomorrow as scheduled. No excuses!" The candidates made a collective groan.
Yamagi stood up first, dusting his uniform off. He looked over at Roose, who was staring at something intangible and thinking.
"Roose?"
"Hai?"
"The night's almost over. We have to go back to our bunkroom."
"I know."
"Why are you still laying there, then? We have to go!"
Roose was silent for a moment, and then he sat up. "Hai." Yamagi extended a hand to his boyfriend and best friend, and Roose was happy to take it.
"Training's going to get harder now." Roose said, after a little bit of awkward silence.
"I know that. That's all it ever does." Yamagi didn't believe it was supposed to do anything else but get more difficult. It was the only way to improve fighting skills.
"Zero's going to make Azuma-kyokan drive us into the ground. We're gonna get dragged along on his journey to become a pilot."
"That doesn't bother me. All I have to do is be better than him and then I'll be set." The purple-haired candidate's voice was prideful and determined.
"With help from us?"
"Uh..." Yamagi didn't think he really needed help. He didn't want help. He wanted to be the great independent pilot that could do anything. And what if he really did need the help of others? What if he was too attached? Would he be able to do it then? "I guess." Roose smiled nervously in response, happy to be acknowledged as important but fearful of the hesitation.
They walked back to their room in silence. A happy, but scared silence. They got to the door of their room, and before Yamagi could push the button to open the door, Roose spoke up.
"Yamagi-kun?"
"Hai?"
"I love you."
Yamagi looked around frantically, hoping no one was there. He was never sure of what to say to that. Roose would say it, in hopes of getting the phrase in return. Sometimes Yamagi would say it back, but he wasn't very sure of his feelings yet, and rarely did. But tonight, no one was around, and he didn't think Roose needed something MORE to worry about. A happy Roose didn't whine nearly as much.
"I...I love you too, Roose." Nothing needed to be said after that. They each walked into their room and went to bed. Yamagi was not content with his current situation, and thought about it until he fell asleep. Roose stayed awake, feeling content with his relationship and his current lifestyle. Of course, he could not help but be sad about Erts' departure, and his inadequacy as a candidate, but right now he just felt that, despite the circumstances, he could cherish this night.