Well, due to the *mass appeal* of my first list of "Things I Promise Never To Put In My Fanfics" I shall add one (Kel-kins---all for you!)

Not owning Trigun---ever! Also not owning songs sung, other shows mentioned, anything parodied, and random things said by people other than me...

Things Thou Shalt Not Make Trigun Characters Say

Knives: ::sings:: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts!

Milly: Mailbox, will you marry me? (A/N: this is a reference to my good friend Pie's poem "Ode to My Mailbox")

Milly: ::cluelessly:: I'm milking a goat? ::shrugs::

Meryl: And bachelor number two....

Vash: Do ya like my Ninja Turtles sheets?

Meryl: ::singing, karaoke style:: If you really want me and you think I'm sexy....

::Wolfwood does the Macarena::

Legato: Hi Barbie!

Dominique: Hi Ken!

Legato: Wanna go for a ride?

Dominique: Sure Ken! ::sings:: I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world!

Knives: ::sings:: I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener. That is what I truly want to be. 'Cause if I were an Oscar Meyer wiener, everyone would be in love with me!

Vash: Forget the donuts! Gimme a mocha latté and a glazed kruller.

Wolfwood: I've never been to church in my life....

Knives: I'm writing a story about an elephant! It goes on an adventure, and the story's in FRENCH!

Milly: ::serenades Wolfwood:: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

Legato: ::sings:: Polly put the kettle on, kettle on, kettle on, Polly put the kettle on, we'll all have tea!

Milly/Meryl: Miss Mary Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons (etc)

Vash: BURN! (a la Kelso from That 70's Show)

::Wolfwood watches Madonna's Like a Prayer video(you know, the one where she burns crosses?)and sets fire to his cross::

Knives: Farewell, cruel world! ::falls two feet, succeeding in only scraping his knee::

Vash: If music be the food of love, play on

Vash: ::a la Patrick from Ten Things I Hate About You:: You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you.

Meryl: Oh Kami, not again.

Legato: ::sings:: Things are seldom what they seem. Skim milk masquerades as cream.

Knives: I kill dragons to save the people. No, wait, I kill snakes to save the birds. No, that's wrong...I kill...Line?

Milly: I saw exactly five minutes of Lord of the Rings.

Legato: That's because the rest of the movie, you were making out with Wolfwood.

Milly: ::blush:: I WAS NOT!

Milly: DIE!

Midvally: I'm taking up flute.

Kaite: I can make this whole room self destruct.

Elizabeth: I tried out to play Joy in Pokémon, but they rejected me because all the guys drooled after me, not just Brock.

Chapel: Like my colored contacts?

Loose Ruth: Damn it, just give me the $$60 billion!

Descartes: I was National Boomerang champion from 1990 to 1998!

Milly: Then ::giggle:: he asked me to ::giggle:: eat them with him! ::giggles hysterically::

Vash: Goldfish have a memory span of three seconds.

Wolfwood: You have a memory span of three seconds.

Milly: So, Mr. Vash is a goldfish?

Milly: Senpai, what does senpai mean?

Meryl: Hell if I know! You're the one who calls me that!

Knives: I kill the crocodiles to save the piranhas? (If that makes no sense, reread it)

::Knives and Legato do roller disco::

Milly: Senpai! Come here! Horseshoe crabs are eating my pajamas!

::Vash reads Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus while Meryl is dressed in a black teddy and ready to knock him over the head with a 2-by-4::

Wolfwood: I'm a pedofile.

Milly: You're obsessed with feet?

Milly: ::holding pudding carton:: Who eats this stuff? Look at what's in it!

Knives: Okay, okay, I admit it! I loved Rem! I miss her!

Rem: Go ahead. Kill someone. See if I care.

Wolfwood: Would you....eat them with me?

Milly: ::who thought he was going to ask her something else:: Hell no! ::slaps him::

Legato: ::playing with Dominique's chair:: Your chair makes a sexy noise.

Dominique: I know. You've told me that a million times.

Legato: ::to Dominique:: You wanna sit on my lap?

Vash: ::plucks petals off a flower:: She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not....

::Meryl is acting all sweet and nice::

Vash: I guess she found her Midol, huh?

Milly: Yup. It was in her typewriter case.

Knives: Let's play Spin the Bottle! ::spins it and it lands on Legato:: Pucker up, Bluesummers!

Wolfwood: I think Meryl must be my long lost sister...

Milly: ::glomps Wolfwood:: Hi Daddy!

Wolfwood: ::to Legato:: She still thinks I'm her father.

Legato: ::as Milly glomps him:: And that I'm her mother. (A/N: read the last set over)

Milly: ::to Vash and Meryl:: Thou shalt not argue before breakfast. It's in the bible.

Wolfwood: No it's not.

Milly: Well, it should be!

(hehe...watched a Little House on the Prairie marathon today!)

::Milly, Meryl, Dominique, and Elizabeth all fawning over Vash::

Meryl: ::stands on tiptoes:: Okay, now I'm tall enough to go on this ride!

Wolfwood: ::kisses Milly::

Milly: EW! Cigarette breath!

Legato: ::to Vash in episode 24:: Why are you holding a gun to my head?

Legato: Mmm....ice pops (a la Homer from The Simpsons)

Vash/Wolfwood: ::sing:: I get knocked down, but I get up again!

Knives: What do spiders and butterflies have to do with Trigun?

Dominique: I could have killed you at least three times by now, but I won't, because I have an optometrist appointment in fifteen minutes!

Vash: I have a problem. There are these two girls who have been following me for over two years. My brother is sending people out to kill me, including a man who has become my best friend. Oh, and I'm a plant.

Meryl: This was supposed to be a company vacation. Instead, it's been a trip of heart ache, rejection, and regret! (a la Kiyone from Tenchi Muyo)

Milly: Do you like Vash?

Wolfwood: And the Lord spake unto Abraham...

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Okay, it's not as long as the previous one, but hey, it's still weird, random, and adds a chapter to the Worst Trigun Fic Ever!