Missing Shinra Exec's New Profession REVEALED!
Kallah
You always wondered just where Palmer went after Rocket Town, didn't you? Well, wonder no more!
Deciding to give up his doomed career at Shinra, he became a truck driver, buying out the guy that hit him. But he's not just any truck driver, and that's not just any truck.
It is the Plot Device Truck. Yes, every time your Square characters do something irrational, fall out of character, or do something else otherwise completely inexplicable, it's Palmer running over them with the Plot Device Truck!
Square needs Quistis to walk out on a mission to apologize to Rinoa? Palmer's on the job! Need Zidane to have a sudden bizarre depressive fit and abuse his friends, then be back to normal suddenly? No problem, Palmer's happy to assist! Need someone to fight Sephiroth - if you've got the gil, Cloud's up for the job. Palmer just drives the Plot Device Truck.
And there's more! For an additional fee (two pots of tea and a box of lard-filled doughnuts), Palmer will happily drive through any Squaresoft fanfic. Yes, now you too can do it like the pros - no more need for that time-consuming plot development, just have Palmer run over the required characters!
Palmer and the Plot Device Truck. Serving game companies and fanfic writers since 1997!