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Here's another short chapter. Enjoy!
See first chapter for disclaimer, warnings & such
Chapter Five: To Save a Friendship
It was Touya's turn to make dinner tonight. He was glad that he could busy himself with such a chore and focus on mundane tasks like chopping vegetables and stirring saucepots. He had spent most of the afternoon trying to do his homework without letting his mind wander to a certain white-haired young man who had offered to help him study. He had, of course, failed miserably at this task. Everything reminded him of Yukito and the friendship they had once shared. He hoped it had not faded away completely, but it was still difficult to determine.
Touya winced as a splash of boiling water bubbled up from a nearby pot and burned his hand. He cursed and pulled his hand away immediately. He had been distracted again and it was becoming very annoying. Touya was used to being in control of his thoughts and actions almost to a fault. He didn't like the unexpectedness and uncertainty with which these new feelings seemed to arise within him. They were frightening in their intensity and difficult to push aside in favor of routine and familiarity.
Touya frowned again and continued to prepare the evening's meal. He told himself that he would eventually get used to this loneliness and one of these days not too far from now he would be able to get through an evening without wondering what might have been or asking the dreaded 'what if' questions that plagued him now. One of these days he would realize that a romantic relationship with Yukito was no longer plausible and those kinds of thoughts would leave his mind. He would be able to look at Yukito in a purely platonic sense and not have to worry about trembling hands or shallow breaths in his presence. One of these days he would fall out of love he was sure and then, he would be able to look back at this whole situation with detachment and resolution.
Touya set the knife aside and pushed the pile of neatly sliced vegetables to the corner of the cutting board trying very hard to ignore the stinging in his eyes as he came to those conclusions. They were painful to acknowledge though and he couldn't bring himself to believe them at the moment. He didn't want to give up. He didn't want to stop loving Yukito or get used to the loneliness he felt away from his friend. He never wanted to fall out of love with Yukito even if his friend could never love him back the way he really needed him to.
Touya nodded resolutely and brought both hands up to wipe away unacknowledged tears that had somehow slipped down his cheeks. He would get through this somehow. For now, he just had to take it slowly and work on one thing at a time. Tomorrow if Yukito asked him to come over and study, he would say yes and they would spend the afternoon together as they had done before in the hopes that he could at least save a little bit of his friendship with Yukito that he treasured so much.
TBC
-------------------
Here's another short chapter. Enjoy!
See first chapter for disclaimer, warnings & such
Chapter Five: To Save a Friendship
It was Touya's turn to make dinner tonight. He was glad that he could busy himself with such a chore and focus on mundane tasks like chopping vegetables and stirring saucepots. He had spent most of the afternoon trying to do his homework without letting his mind wander to a certain white-haired young man who had offered to help him study. He had, of course, failed miserably at this task. Everything reminded him of Yukito and the friendship they had once shared. He hoped it had not faded away completely, but it was still difficult to determine.
Touya winced as a splash of boiling water bubbled up from a nearby pot and burned his hand. He cursed and pulled his hand away immediately. He had been distracted again and it was becoming very annoying. Touya was used to being in control of his thoughts and actions almost to a fault. He didn't like the unexpectedness and uncertainty with which these new feelings seemed to arise within him. They were frightening in their intensity and difficult to push aside in favor of routine and familiarity.
Touya frowned again and continued to prepare the evening's meal. He told himself that he would eventually get used to this loneliness and one of these days not too far from now he would be able to get through an evening without wondering what might have been or asking the dreaded 'what if' questions that plagued him now. One of these days he would realize that a romantic relationship with Yukito was no longer plausible and those kinds of thoughts would leave his mind. He would be able to look at Yukito in a purely platonic sense and not have to worry about trembling hands or shallow breaths in his presence. One of these days he would fall out of love he was sure and then, he would be able to look back at this whole situation with detachment and resolution.
Touya set the knife aside and pushed the pile of neatly sliced vegetables to the corner of the cutting board trying very hard to ignore the stinging in his eyes as he came to those conclusions. They were painful to acknowledge though and he couldn't bring himself to believe them at the moment. He didn't want to give up. He didn't want to stop loving Yukito or get used to the loneliness he felt away from his friend. He never wanted to fall out of love with Yukito even if his friend could never love him back the way he really needed him to.
Touya nodded resolutely and brought both hands up to wipe away unacknowledged tears that had somehow slipped down his cheeks. He would get through this somehow. For now, he just had to take it slowly and work on one thing at a time. Tomorrow if Yukito asked him to come over and study, he would say yes and they would spend the afternoon together as they had done before in the hopes that he could at least save a little bit of his friendship with Yukito that he treasured so much.
TBC
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