-------------------
Sorry for the delay, but here's the next part. I hope it turned out alright. I'll have the next part out in a few minutes and that will be it ^_^
samuraiheart
See first chapter for disclaimer, warnings & such
Chapter Eight: Resolution
The next day after school Yukito was careful not to meet Touya's gaze as he gathered his books in his arms and prepared to leave the classroom. He stood beside his friend's desk nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other as Touya packed up his things and picked up his backpack.
"Ano… Do you, umm, want to come over to study?" Yukito asked quietly. He was sure he knew the answer even before he asked, but he felt that he had to try. He braced himself for another negative response as he heard Touya take a sharp breath and pause before saying one way or the other.
"Sure." Touya answered softly.
Yukito's eyes widened at the reply and he slowly looked up to meet Touya's gaze. He saw sadness hidden within those blue eyes, but it was fading somewhat and Touya's mouth curved up into a gentle smile.
Yukito returned it with a brilliant smile of his own and felt his heart beating quickly in his chest. His eyes stung slightly with unshed tears, but he blinked them back quickly before Touya could notice. It was such a relief to have things starting to get back to normal. There were times within the last few days when he wasn't sure that they ever could. At least this was a step in the right direction.
Yukito assured himself that that was all he wanted. He needed Touya to be his friend again. He told himself that everything would be fine once that happened. He could handle the loneliness and uncertainty on his own if he had to, but he needed that sense of companionship that only Touya could give him. He needed the joy that flooded through him when he saw Touya crack a slight smile because of something he had said or the lightness he felt within him when Touya sat beside him or leaned closer to him to explain a difficult math problem. He was so afraid that his rejection had put an end to all those things that even this small sign that things might be headed back to the way they were was enough to make his eyes light up despite the uncertainty still at the back of his thoughts.
A little while later, at Yukito's house, the two young men sat together at the dining room table with their school books spread out in front of them both staring intently at their own homework. Instead of studying together, the moment had turned more into the two of them studying alone with the other just happening to be in the same room.
Yukito turned the pages of his spiral notebook nervously. He couldn't concentrate for some reason. Despite his best attempts to return everything to normal, there were still things that he couldn't quite put to rest. There were questions he needed answered and words that needed to be spoken even though he was relatively sure that they would only bring more pain. He sighed softly and ran his fingers through his hair once more.
Finally giving in to his own curiosity, he set his pencil aside and rested his hands in his lap. He hesitated for a moment not sure if he should break the delicate silence between him and Touya. Yukito looked up at his friend across the table bent over slightly gazing at the pages of an open textbook before him. Touya's dark bangs fell just over his eyes and Yukito couldn't see the expression on his face.
Yukito looked down at the edge of the table and then asked in a tentative voice, "How do you know?"
Touya frowned and looked over at this friend in confusion. He had no idea what Yukito was talking about. "About what?"
Yukito slumped his shoulders and lowered his gaze until he was staring at his own hands clasped loosely in his lap. "That you love me." Yukito answered quietly.
Yukito didn't see the pained expression that flitted across Touya's face, but he heard the sharp intake of breath and the sound of Touya's pencil falling to the ground and clattering across the wooden floorboards as it rolled a few inches and came to a stop once it hit the leg of the table.
He heard Touya scoot his chair back and Yukito held his breath as he waited for his friend to storm out of the room in anger or some other emotion closer to sadness, but Touya didn't move. He sat on the edge of his chair for a few long moments before forcing himself to look up at the man sitting across from him. He saw the hesitation and sadness on Yukito's face even though the light haired man wasn't looking at him. He heard the pain in his voice even though the words were over and he realized that Yukito's question was one of the easiest things he had ever been asked.
Despite the sorrow born of rejection and the struggle to hide his feelings for so long, he still loved Yukito and he knew he always would. Having to tell Yukito how he knew something so self-evident was not a difficult task at all.
"Yukito, your presence in my life has been like a precious gift that I never thought I deserved. I know I love you because it's the easiest thing that I've ever done. I can't help but love you because you are such an amazing person and you have always been so wonderful to me." Touya's voice wavered slightly at first as he tried to find the right words, but it gained strength and confidence as he continued. His usually quiet demeanor melted away as his eyes shone with sincerity. Touya stood up before going on and walked over to place one hand on Yukito's shoulder. "I love you because I need you and I only want to make you happy. I know I love you because your smile makes my heart soar with warmth and the sound of my name on your lips brings me more joy than I have ever known. I love you, Yukito, because you're you and I will always love you because I know that I could never stop as long as I'm here beside you."
Touya knelt down closer to his friend and took a deep breath. He was searching for the words to say that he understood if Yukito didn't feel the same way. He needed to find a way to say that he would be alright even if his love was not shared. He wanted Yukito to feel loved without feeling obliged to return that love. He wanted to fix the friendship they seemed to have lost.
He opened his mouth to continue, but lost the will to speak when he felt Yukito's slight shoulders shudder and he heard the aching sound of Yukito sobbing. Touya furrowed his eyebrows in concern and patted Yukito gently on the back.
Yukito raised his head slightly and looked up at his dark haired friend with a gaze filled with hesitance and uncertainty. Tears streamed down both his cheeks and left pale streaks that shimmered slightly in the glowing light of the mid-afternoon sun streaming through the dining room window.
"How can you-" Yukito whispered softly his voice breaking between sobs. "How can you love me when I don't even know who I am?" The words held a hint of anger, but that quickly faded away into further despair as Yukito shook his head and allowed himself to be wrapped up in Touya's outstretched arms. He clung to Touya's sturdy shoulders as he fought to regain control of his thought and emotions. Touya just held him close and stroked his soft hair tenderly as he whispered words of comfort and fought to hold back tears of his own.
When Yukito finally pulled away, Touya smiled down at him with compassion and understanding. Yukito couldn't resist the sentiment and felt his own lips curve upwards in a half smile. He struggled with the next words, but knew he had to say them. "I'm sorry, To-ya."
"Shhh… It's okay, Yuki."
"No, really, To-ya, I've been so cruel…" Yukito shook his head as his words threatened to dissolve into tears once again. He took a deep breath and tried his best to continue as he took one of Touya's hands in his own and looked up into Touya's shimmering blue gaze. "I love you, too, To-ya. I love you very much and I'm still trying to figure this all out, but I don't want to lose you."
Touya hugged Yukito once again and ran a hand up and down Yukito's back in slow comforting circles. "I love you, too, Yuki and I'll be here for you whenever you need me. No one ever expected you to do this alone. We'll figure it all out together."
Yukito nodded against Touya's chest and pulled himself closer to his friend. He wrapped his fingers in the cloth of Touya's shirt and clung tightly to the one he loved the most.
TBC
-------------------
Sorry for the delay, but here's the next part. I hope it turned out alright. I'll have the next part out in a few minutes and that will be it ^_^
samuraiheart
See first chapter for disclaimer, warnings & such
Chapter Eight: Resolution
The next day after school Yukito was careful not to meet Touya's gaze as he gathered his books in his arms and prepared to leave the classroom. He stood beside his friend's desk nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other as Touya packed up his things and picked up his backpack.
"Ano… Do you, umm, want to come over to study?" Yukito asked quietly. He was sure he knew the answer even before he asked, but he felt that he had to try. He braced himself for another negative response as he heard Touya take a sharp breath and pause before saying one way or the other.
"Sure." Touya answered softly.
Yukito's eyes widened at the reply and he slowly looked up to meet Touya's gaze. He saw sadness hidden within those blue eyes, but it was fading somewhat and Touya's mouth curved up into a gentle smile.
Yukito returned it with a brilliant smile of his own and felt his heart beating quickly in his chest. His eyes stung slightly with unshed tears, but he blinked them back quickly before Touya could notice. It was such a relief to have things starting to get back to normal. There were times within the last few days when he wasn't sure that they ever could. At least this was a step in the right direction.
Yukito assured himself that that was all he wanted. He needed Touya to be his friend again. He told himself that everything would be fine once that happened. He could handle the loneliness and uncertainty on his own if he had to, but he needed that sense of companionship that only Touya could give him. He needed the joy that flooded through him when he saw Touya crack a slight smile because of something he had said or the lightness he felt within him when Touya sat beside him or leaned closer to him to explain a difficult math problem. He was so afraid that his rejection had put an end to all those things that even this small sign that things might be headed back to the way they were was enough to make his eyes light up despite the uncertainty still at the back of his thoughts.
A little while later, at Yukito's house, the two young men sat together at the dining room table with their school books spread out in front of them both staring intently at their own homework. Instead of studying together, the moment had turned more into the two of them studying alone with the other just happening to be in the same room.
Yukito turned the pages of his spiral notebook nervously. He couldn't concentrate for some reason. Despite his best attempts to return everything to normal, there were still things that he couldn't quite put to rest. There were questions he needed answered and words that needed to be spoken even though he was relatively sure that they would only bring more pain. He sighed softly and ran his fingers through his hair once more.
Finally giving in to his own curiosity, he set his pencil aside and rested his hands in his lap. He hesitated for a moment not sure if he should break the delicate silence between him and Touya. Yukito looked up at his friend across the table bent over slightly gazing at the pages of an open textbook before him. Touya's dark bangs fell just over his eyes and Yukito couldn't see the expression on his face.
Yukito looked down at the edge of the table and then asked in a tentative voice, "How do you know?"
Touya frowned and looked over at this friend in confusion. He had no idea what Yukito was talking about. "About what?"
Yukito slumped his shoulders and lowered his gaze until he was staring at his own hands clasped loosely in his lap. "That you love me." Yukito answered quietly.
Yukito didn't see the pained expression that flitted across Touya's face, but he heard the sharp intake of breath and the sound of Touya's pencil falling to the ground and clattering across the wooden floorboards as it rolled a few inches and came to a stop once it hit the leg of the table.
He heard Touya scoot his chair back and Yukito held his breath as he waited for his friend to storm out of the room in anger or some other emotion closer to sadness, but Touya didn't move. He sat on the edge of his chair for a few long moments before forcing himself to look up at the man sitting across from him. He saw the hesitation and sadness on Yukito's face even though the light haired man wasn't looking at him. He heard the pain in his voice even though the words were over and he realized that Yukito's question was one of the easiest things he had ever been asked.
Despite the sorrow born of rejection and the struggle to hide his feelings for so long, he still loved Yukito and he knew he always would. Having to tell Yukito how he knew something so self-evident was not a difficult task at all.
"Yukito, your presence in my life has been like a precious gift that I never thought I deserved. I know I love you because it's the easiest thing that I've ever done. I can't help but love you because you are such an amazing person and you have always been so wonderful to me." Touya's voice wavered slightly at first as he tried to find the right words, but it gained strength and confidence as he continued. His usually quiet demeanor melted away as his eyes shone with sincerity. Touya stood up before going on and walked over to place one hand on Yukito's shoulder. "I love you because I need you and I only want to make you happy. I know I love you because your smile makes my heart soar with warmth and the sound of my name on your lips brings me more joy than I have ever known. I love you, Yukito, because you're you and I will always love you because I know that I could never stop as long as I'm here beside you."
Touya knelt down closer to his friend and took a deep breath. He was searching for the words to say that he understood if Yukito didn't feel the same way. He needed to find a way to say that he would be alright even if his love was not shared. He wanted Yukito to feel loved without feeling obliged to return that love. He wanted to fix the friendship they seemed to have lost.
He opened his mouth to continue, but lost the will to speak when he felt Yukito's slight shoulders shudder and he heard the aching sound of Yukito sobbing. Touya furrowed his eyebrows in concern and patted Yukito gently on the back.
Yukito raised his head slightly and looked up at his dark haired friend with a gaze filled with hesitance and uncertainty. Tears streamed down both his cheeks and left pale streaks that shimmered slightly in the glowing light of the mid-afternoon sun streaming through the dining room window.
"How can you-" Yukito whispered softly his voice breaking between sobs. "How can you love me when I don't even know who I am?" The words held a hint of anger, but that quickly faded away into further despair as Yukito shook his head and allowed himself to be wrapped up in Touya's outstretched arms. He clung to Touya's sturdy shoulders as he fought to regain control of his thought and emotions. Touya just held him close and stroked his soft hair tenderly as he whispered words of comfort and fought to hold back tears of his own.
When Yukito finally pulled away, Touya smiled down at him with compassion and understanding. Yukito couldn't resist the sentiment and felt his own lips curve upwards in a half smile. He struggled with the next words, but knew he had to say them. "I'm sorry, To-ya."
"Shhh… It's okay, Yuki."
"No, really, To-ya, I've been so cruel…" Yukito shook his head as his words threatened to dissolve into tears once again. He took a deep breath and tried his best to continue as he took one of Touya's hands in his own and looked up into Touya's shimmering blue gaze. "I love you, too, To-ya. I love you very much and I'm still trying to figure this all out, but I don't want to lose you."
Touya hugged Yukito once again and ran a hand up and down Yukito's back in slow comforting circles. "I love you, too, Yuki and I'll be here for you whenever you need me. No one ever expected you to do this alone. We'll figure it all out together."
Yukito nodded against Touya's chest and pulled himself closer to his friend. He wrapped his fingers in the cloth of Touya's shirt and clung tightly to the one he loved the most.
TBC
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