As much as I would like to get over Lizzie, it's just too hard. I see
her and my heart melts completely. It's like I'm not supposed to love
anyone else but her. It's like without her, I'm nothingness. I was starting
to handle my feelings and get on with my life because Lizzie was hardly a
part of it. But now, ever since she confronted me, I can't stop thinking
about her. Her hair that shines like moon beams. Her striking eyes which
pierce my soul. And the feeling of her soft skin only makes me shiver with
desire.
I want her more than I ever did before. I know that I can't live without her and I know that if I don't have her, my life will be incomplete. If I don't have her, how will I go on? If I don't have her, no one else will.
It has been nearly a year since I last decided to watch Lizzie. At midnight, I didn't go to her window and watch helplessly as she succumbed to her sweet slumber. All I did was lie awake in my own bed and cry. I hated crying. It was like I was some how defeating my manliness. But throughout all of those months, I didn't give a fuck. I didn't care who saw me or who even wanted to be around me. I was too sad. Too mad. Too depressed.
So every night I lay there while gentle rivers of tears streamed down my pathetic face. Trying to get over her. Trying to remember Miranda. Trying to feel sorry for myself.
I picked up the telephone and dialed Lizzie's telephone number.
"Hello Mrs. McGuire. Is Lizzie there?" I asked.
"No, I'm sorry Gordo. She's at Ethan Craft's house. If it is an emergency, I can give you the number." She replied.
"No, that's okay. I can handle this on my own."
I hung up the phone and ran directly downstairs and out of the house.
How can she do this to me? She knows how much I despise that guy and then it turns out that she's at his house. Probably making out or something.
Buy the time I got to Ethan's house, Lizzie was leaving out the front door.
"Bye Ethan! Thanks for letting me borrow your history book!" Lizzie yelled into his house.
"Hey Lizzie." I said.
"Gordo! What are you doing here?"
"Actually I was just walking through the neighborhood and I saw you leaving Ethan's house so I wanted to talk to you."
"Oh, okay. Well, I've only been at Ethan's for like 5 minutes. I came by his house to copy his history notes except he didn't take notes so I just asked to borrow his book until I got a new one. He asked me to come upstairs and get it with him but I told him I'd just wait downstairs and now, here I am."
"Long story. Why didn't you just ask me for my notes? You know I had them."
"I know, but, things have been really awkward between us lately, you know? I mean, I didn't want there to be some huge, weird confrontation like there was in the library."
"Oh, okay. It's just, I don't know. It kinda hurt me in a way. Like, you didn't think of me first. Well, you did but maybe its just that I wanted you to think of me."
"Gordo, I always think of you."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I mean, you've been my best friend since we were babies and I could never forget you. It's just, with the whole Miranda thing, the whole friendship has been a little strained lately."
"I know what you mean."
"But I figure that since we're on speaking terms now, maybe we can, at least try to be friends again."
"Yeah, I really like that."
"Good. I gotta go but I'll see you tomorrow at school okay?"
"Okay."
Lizzie smiled and walked away in the direction towards her house.
A smile came across my face and a thought exploded into my mind. If Lizzie and I are on speaking terms, maybe we can get this friendship back. And if we do get this friendship back, is there a possibility for love?
I want her more than I ever did before. I know that I can't live without her and I know that if I don't have her, my life will be incomplete. If I don't have her, how will I go on? If I don't have her, no one else will.
It has been nearly a year since I last decided to watch Lizzie. At midnight, I didn't go to her window and watch helplessly as she succumbed to her sweet slumber. All I did was lie awake in my own bed and cry. I hated crying. It was like I was some how defeating my manliness. But throughout all of those months, I didn't give a fuck. I didn't care who saw me or who even wanted to be around me. I was too sad. Too mad. Too depressed.
So every night I lay there while gentle rivers of tears streamed down my pathetic face. Trying to get over her. Trying to remember Miranda. Trying to feel sorry for myself.
I picked up the telephone and dialed Lizzie's telephone number.
"Hello Mrs. McGuire. Is Lizzie there?" I asked.
"No, I'm sorry Gordo. She's at Ethan Craft's house. If it is an emergency, I can give you the number." She replied.
"No, that's okay. I can handle this on my own."
I hung up the phone and ran directly downstairs and out of the house.
How can she do this to me? She knows how much I despise that guy and then it turns out that she's at his house. Probably making out or something.
Buy the time I got to Ethan's house, Lizzie was leaving out the front door.
"Bye Ethan! Thanks for letting me borrow your history book!" Lizzie yelled into his house.
"Hey Lizzie." I said.
"Gordo! What are you doing here?"
"Actually I was just walking through the neighborhood and I saw you leaving Ethan's house so I wanted to talk to you."
"Oh, okay. Well, I've only been at Ethan's for like 5 minutes. I came by his house to copy his history notes except he didn't take notes so I just asked to borrow his book until I got a new one. He asked me to come upstairs and get it with him but I told him I'd just wait downstairs and now, here I am."
"Long story. Why didn't you just ask me for my notes? You know I had them."
"I know, but, things have been really awkward between us lately, you know? I mean, I didn't want there to be some huge, weird confrontation like there was in the library."
"Oh, okay. It's just, I don't know. It kinda hurt me in a way. Like, you didn't think of me first. Well, you did but maybe its just that I wanted you to think of me."
"Gordo, I always think of you."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I mean, you've been my best friend since we were babies and I could never forget you. It's just, with the whole Miranda thing, the whole friendship has been a little strained lately."
"I know what you mean."
"But I figure that since we're on speaking terms now, maybe we can, at least try to be friends again."
"Yeah, I really like that."
"Good. I gotta go but I'll see you tomorrow at school okay?"
"Okay."
Lizzie smiled and walked away in the direction towards her house.
A smile came across my face and a thought exploded into my mind. If Lizzie and I are on speaking terms, maybe we can get this friendship back. And if we do get this friendship back, is there a possibility for love?