Hobbit of Some Intelligence
By Kazwise Gamgee
Chapter One - Rosie, Sarah, and Many Mushrooms
I paused outside the door, listening for any noises from within. Just at that moment, my stomach chose to growl, reminding me of the fact I hadn't had breakfast yet. I glared down at my stomach and turned my attention back to the door.
My best friend Merry was on the other side of that door, still asleep (lazy, useless Hobbit). Carefully, I turned the doorknob and crept inside Merry's bedroom. I tiptoed across the floor, silent as a mouse, and was just about at his bed (I think) when- *BAM* "OUCH!" Geez that hurt! I'd managed to bash into Merry's table. Well how was I meant to know it was there: the blinds were still drawn.
Luckily Merry hadn't head the crash; so, nursing my sore knee, I crept forwards again. I felt my hand brush against his bed. Yes! I inched closer to the sleeping Merry, reached up to where my whistle was hanging around my neck, raised it to my lips and...
*PHWEEEEEEEEEEET!*
"Arrrrrrrrrghhhhh!" With a blood-curdling scream, Merry jumped up, arms protecting his head. I couldn't help it, I started laughing. Merry's eyes focused and saw me, standing there with a whistle in my mouth, snorting with laughter.
"Why you..." he started, jumping up and tackling me. "Pippin! Can't a Hobbit get any sleep around here?"
"Not with me about, you should know that by now, Merry!" I shouted gleefully, untangling myself and running off down the hallway.
I'm Peregrin Took: Pippin to most people. I'm a Hobbit from the Shire, and, as everyone knows, my favourite things are food, mushrooms, sleeping, food, annoying everyone else, food, annoying Merry especially, food, and getting into trouble (don't forget food!).
Speaking of food... My stomach rumbling again, I skipped into the kitchen and plonked myself down at the table. Frodo and Sam were already there- Sam was cooking some eggs, and Frodo was reading 'The Shire Daily' newspaper. I could smell mushrooms, and realised there were some in the pan with Sam's eggs.
"Hey Sam, can I have some of those mushrooms?" I asked, sniffing my way over and standing next to him.
"No way!" he replied, tossing the pan up. "Mister Frodo and I went out and picked them before."
"Suit yourself," I said casually, but when Sam turned away to reach for the salt I scooped up some of the mushrooms and stuffed them in my mouth.
Sam looked back at the pan and did a double take. "Pippin!" he accused.
"Me? What?" I mumbled, swallowing hastily. "What'd I do?" Sam sighed and went back to the eggs (and the few remaining 'shrooms).
I went and sat down next to Frodo. "Any interesting news?"
"Not really," he said. "But that certainly was an interesting sound coming from Merry's room before. What happened?"
"Oh, nothing," I said, smirking. "Just thought it was time for him to wake up."
At that moment, Merry stumbled into the kitchen, bleary eyed. "Thanks for the wake-up call, Pippin. Mmmm, Sam, those mushrooms smell nice. Any for me?"
Sam shot a glare in my direction. "There would be, if a certain *someone* hadn't eaten them all."
"Oh fine, I'll go and pick some more!" I exclaimed, getting up from the table. Merry plonked down into my seat and thunked his head down on the table.
Walking outside, I saw it was a beautiful day. I strolled down the road, whistling. Rosie Cotton was standing in her garden, looking at some flowers.
"Pip! Good morning!" she called out, smiling.
I smiled back; Rosie always looked so pretty when she smiled. "Hi Rosie!" I called back. I went over to her garden and leaned on the gate.
Rosie smiled again, shyly this time. "Um, how's Sam? I haven't seen him for awhile..."
I knew she was going to ask. She always does. Poor Rosie- just her luck to be chasing after a guy who's even shyer than she is. "He's fine, but why don't you ask him yourself?" I enquired, taking her hand and leading her down to road to our front door. Standing behind her, I moved her arm to press the doorbell.
"Pippin, you're so funny," she giggled, smiling at me again.
I shrugged. "It's my job," I said, as the door opened and Sam's face appeared.
"R-Rosie! H-h-hi!" Sam stammered, blushing from ear to ear.
"Hi Samwise," Rosie said, smiling prettily again.
A few seconds of silence followed, in which Rosie was still smiling and Sam was still blushing. Seeing that neither of them would seize the opportunity, I pushed Rosie inside, told Sam to give her the eggs and 'shrooms, and closed the door behind them.
I walked down the steps again, grinning at how shy the pair of them were. I, of course, am never like that. If I like someone, I'll just walk right up to them and tell- Oh gosh. I could feel my face going slightly pink as I saw Sarah Appleby, the prettiest Hobbit in the Shire walking down the road towards me. I gulped, then pasted on a dazzling (or so I hoped) smile, as she ran up to say hello.
"Pip! Long time, no see!" she said. "I was just about to go and pick some mushrooms, want to come?"
"Well, well, if that's not a coincidence! I was just heading to Farmer Maggots place myself!" I said, licking my lips.
"Farmer Maggot.. oh no, I was on my way to the Common! Farmer Maggot doesn't very much like people in his crops... does he Pippin?" Sarah said, pointedly.
"Oh, pssh," I scoffed, winking. "I've been in there loads of times, and he hasn't caught me yet!" I extended my arm to Sarah and, after a moments hesitation, she linked hers through it.
"Looks like I'm coming with you then!" she said, laughing.
We started off down the road, Sarah swinging her basket. I picked up the pace and made her do a sort of dancing skip as we walked, which made her laugh again (she has such a nice laugh!). I couldn't stop myself grinning as we walked the dirt path towards the crops of Farmer Maggot.
When we got the big wooden "Private Property" sign, we stopped skipping and looked around. I found the gap in the hedge that Merry and I always climbed through, and motioned for Sarah to follow me. She was gaping at the sign, which had "Trespassers Will Be Prosecuted" written under the "Private Property". I could see she didn't want to get caught, so I walked back to her.
"Sarah, don't worry about it! Merry and I have done this loads of times, I know exactly where to go! We can't get caught!" I pleaded with her, begging her to come with me.
She looked at me doubtfully, then gave a little half-smile and followed me through the gap.
We emerged in the cornfield on the other side of the hedge. Glancing briefly around me, I grabbed Sarah's hand (oh!) and pushed through some stalks of corn. Almost straight away we were in another field, but this one was full of...
"Mushrooms!" Sarah exclaimed, ogling at the sight. "Thousands of them!"
I nodded happily. "And the best ones in the Shire, at that!"
"Well, let's get to it!" Sarah said, bending down and starting to pick the mushrooms closest to her.
I realised I didn't have a basket with me (stupid Pippin, yes, very stupid), so I pulled off my scarf to carry the mushrooms I picked.
We picked away for about 20 minutes, until our baskets (oh, I'm sorry, basket and scarf) were full (so were our stomachs, I might add, for no Hobbit can resist the pull of mushrooms sending out "Eat Me" vibes!). I stood up, stretched my legs, and then helped Sarah up. She smiled at me (I almost fell over, my knees went so week), and put her hand up to touch my face.
"You know something, Pip?" she said, looking into my eyes.
"What, Sarah?" I said, looking back into hers (such a pretty deep brown!).
"You really are the nicest person I've ever met," she said, blushing a little.
"Well, the feeling is mutual," I grinned, leaning closer to her... and closer... and closer... until-
*BANG*
We sprang apart, staring wildly round. It had sounded like a gunshot. Suddenly, over the top of the cornfields came the sound of a man shouting and dogs barking.
"You wait until I get you, you're trespassing on private property, you are! My dogs'll rip you to shreds if I don't get there first!" the voice was yelling, sounding furious.
I grabbed Sarah's hand again and whispered, "Follow me! Run, and don't look back!"
We stumbled forward into the cornfield again, and I glanced around quickly, looking for the way out. I spotted a sort of pathway in between the stalks and pulled Sarah through. Or, I tried to, but one of the dogs had got hold of the back of her skirt.
"Sarah!" I cried, kicking out at the dog. One of my kicks landed on the dogs nose and he let go in a hurry, giving me enough time to drag Sarah through the pathway and back out onto the dirt road.
When safely out, we ran down the road a bit, then sat down on the roadside fence, panting.
I shot a sideways glance at Sarah; that was all we needed. We both starting snorting with laughter, laughing harder and harder until we were holding each other up, tears running down our faces.
"Ow, ow, my stomach!" Sarah gasped, clutching it.
"How's your skirt?" I asked. Sarah turned around, and set us off into another fit of hysteria: a big tear was in the skirt, and there was dirt and dog slobber all over the hem.
Finally, after about 10 minutes laughter, we set back off home, retelling the story of our escape over and over, making it even more elaborate each time: "The dogs were as big as horses!"; "Farmer Maggot was right behind us!"; "A bullet from his gun whizzed straight by my shoulder!".
We reached the main road again, and stood there for awhile, smiling at each other. On impulse, I leant in and kissed her swiftly on the lips. She giggled, gave my hand a last squeeze, and walked off towards her house. Well, rather, she did the same silly skip as we'd done on the way out.
Grinning like an idiot, I skipped up the steps to our house and banged through the door. I could sense something wasn't right straight away... I couldn't smell mushrooms anymore! I walked into the kitchen, where Sam, Frodo and Merry were sitting at the table, talking.
"Oh, you're back!" said Frodo, looking up.
"Yup!" I said cheerfully. "Sam, where's Rosie?"
"Oh, she left a few minutes ago," Sam said, looking strangely pleased.
"Happy about something, Sam?" I asked, seeing his smile.
"Oh yes, Rosie's fantastic, isn't she? So pretty... She told me her life- long dream!"
"What's that then, Sammy?"
"To get married and have kids," Sam sighed dreamily. I smothered a laugh, picturing Sam, 20 years on, married to Rosie and bouncing a baby in his lap.
"What about you, Pip, why do you look so happy?" Merry asked (I was glad to see him looking fully awake now).
"Ohhhh.. nothing," I mumbled, shaking off the image of Sam being married. "Where's the frying pan gone, Sam? I've got plenty of 'shrooms for us all here!"
"Pip, you've been gone hours, we finished breakfast ages ago! What took you so long?"
I grinned and told them all what happened, conveniently 'forgetting' about the kiss. They all laughed, then Sam got up and took the mushrooms from me.
"Well, time for lunch, I reckon!" he said, sniffing the 'shrooms in delight.
"I think you mean breakfast, seeing as I didn't really have mine," I pointed out.
"Well we've had ours," said Frodo.
"Aren't we lucky then, we get two breakfasts!" exclaimed Merry, looking hungrily at the mushrooms.
"I guess it's.. a Second Breakfast then!" I said, laughing at my brilliance.
"Yeah!" everyone agreed, and from then on, any food served between breakfast and lunch was dubbed Second Breakfast!
A/N- Well, first chapter up! How'd everyone like it? I have no idea where the story's going to go; I basically wrote this out of boredom and pent-up lust for Pippin. Any plot ideas would be appreciated, just leave them in the reviews! (hinthint, R&R!) Thanks!
--Kazwise Gamgee
By Kazwise Gamgee
Chapter One - Rosie, Sarah, and Many Mushrooms
I paused outside the door, listening for any noises from within. Just at that moment, my stomach chose to growl, reminding me of the fact I hadn't had breakfast yet. I glared down at my stomach and turned my attention back to the door.
My best friend Merry was on the other side of that door, still asleep (lazy, useless Hobbit). Carefully, I turned the doorknob and crept inside Merry's bedroom. I tiptoed across the floor, silent as a mouse, and was just about at his bed (I think) when- *BAM* "OUCH!" Geez that hurt! I'd managed to bash into Merry's table. Well how was I meant to know it was there: the blinds were still drawn.
Luckily Merry hadn't head the crash; so, nursing my sore knee, I crept forwards again. I felt my hand brush against his bed. Yes! I inched closer to the sleeping Merry, reached up to where my whistle was hanging around my neck, raised it to my lips and...
*PHWEEEEEEEEEEET!*
"Arrrrrrrrrghhhhh!" With a blood-curdling scream, Merry jumped up, arms protecting his head. I couldn't help it, I started laughing. Merry's eyes focused and saw me, standing there with a whistle in my mouth, snorting with laughter.
"Why you..." he started, jumping up and tackling me. "Pippin! Can't a Hobbit get any sleep around here?"
"Not with me about, you should know that by now, Merry!" I shouted gleefully, untangling myself and running off down the hallway.
I'm Peregrin Took: Pippin to most people. I'm a Hobbit from the Shire, and, as everyone knows, my favourite things are food, mushrooms, sleeping, food, annoying everyone else, food, annoying Merry especially, food, and getting into trouble (don't forget food!).
Speaking of food... My stomach rumbling again, I skipped into the kitchen and plonked myself down at the table. Frodo and Sam were already there- Sam was cooking some eggs, and Frodo was reading 'The Shire Daily' newspaper. I could smell mushrooms, and realised there were some in the pan with Sam's eggs.
"Hey Sam, can I have some of those mushrooms?" I asked, sniffing my way over and standing next to him.
"No way!" he replied, tossing the pan up. "Mister Frodo and I went out and picked them before."
"Suit yourself," I said casually, but when Sam turned away to reach for the salt I scooped up some of the mushrooms and stuffed them in my mouth.
Sam looked back at the pan and did a double take. "Pippin!" he accused.
"Me? What?" I mumbled, swallowing hastily. "What'd I do?" Sam sighed and went back to the eggs (and the few remaining 'shrooms).
I went and sat down next to Frodo. "Any interesting news?"
"Not really," he said. "But that certainly was an interesting sound coming from Merry's room before. What happened?"
"Oh, nothing," I said, smirking. "Just thought it was time for him to wake up."
At that moment, Merry stumbled into the kitchen, bleary eyed. "Thanks for the wake-up call, Pippin. Mmmm, Sam, those mushrooms smell nice. Any for me?"
Sam shot a glare in my direction. "There would be, if a certain *someone* hadn't eaten them all."
"Oh fine, I'll go and pick some more!" I exclaimed, getting up from the table. Merry plonked down into my seat and thunked his head down on the table.
Walking outside, I saw it was a beautiful day. I strolled down the road, whistling. Rosie Cotton was standing in her garden, looking at some flowers.
"Pip! Good morning!" she called out, smiling.
I smiled back; Rosie always looked so pretty when she smiled. "Hi Rosie!" I called back. I went over to her garden and leaned on the gate.
Rosie smiled again, shyly this time. "Um, how's Sam? I haven't seen him for awhile..."
I knew she was going to ask. She always does. Poor Rosie- just her luck to be chasing after a guy who's even shyer than she is. "He's fine, but why don't you ask him yourself?" I enquired, taking her hand and leading her down to road to our front door. Standing behind her, I moved her arm to press the doorbell.
"Pippin, you're so funny," she giggled, smiling at me again.
I shrugged. "It's my job," I said, as the door opened and Sam's face appeared.
"R-Rosie! H-h-hi!" Sam stammered, blushing from ear to ear.
"Hi Samwise," Rosie said, smiling prettily again.
A few seconds of silence followed, in which Rosie was still smiling and Sam was still blushing. Seeing that neither of them would seize the opportunity, I pushed Rosie inside, told Sam to give her the eggs and 'shrooms, and closed the door behind them.
I walked down the steps again, grinning at how shy the pair of them were. I, of course, am never like that. If I like someone, I'll just walk right up to them and tell- Oh gosh. I could feel my face going slightly pink as I saw Sarah Appleby, the prettiest Hobbit in the Shire walking down the road towards me. I gulped, then pasted on a dazzling (or so I hoped) smile, as she ran up to say hello.
"Pip! Long time, no see!" she said. "I was just about to go and pick some mushrooms, want to come?"
"Well, well, if that's not a coincidence! I was just heading to Farmer Maggots place myself!" I said, licking my lips.
"Farmer Maggot.. oh no, I was on my way to the Common! Farmer Maggot doesn't very much like people in his crops... does he Pippin?" Sarah said, pointedly.
"Oh, pssh," I scoffed, winking. "I've been in there loads of times, and he hasn't caught me yet!" I extended my arm to Sarah and, after a moments hesitation, she linked hers through it.
"Looks like I'm coming with you then!" she said, laughing.
We started off down the road, Sarah swinging her basket. I picked up the pace and made her do a sort of dancing skip as we walked, which made her laugh again (she has such a nice laugh!). I couldn't stop myself grinning as we walked the dirt path towards the crops of Farmer Maggot.
When we got the big wooden "Private Property" sign, we stopped skipping and looked around. I found the gap in the hedge that Merry and I always climbed through, and motioned for Sarah to follow me. She was gaping at the sign, which had "Trespassers Will Be Prosecuted" written under the "Private Property". I could see she didn't want to get caught, so I walked back to her.
"Sarah, don't worry about it! Merry and I have done this loads of times, I know exactly where to go! We can't get caught!" I pleaded with her, begging her to come with me.
She looked at me doubtfully, then gave a little half-smile and followed me through the gap.
We emerged in the cornfield on the other side of the hedge. Glancing briefly around me, I grabbed Sarah's hand (oh!) and pushed through some stalks of corn. Almost straight away we were in another field, but this one was full of...
"Mushrooms!" Sarah exclaimed, ogling at the sight. "Thousands of them!"
I nodded happily. "And the best ones in the Shire, at that!"
"Well, let's get to it!" Sarah said, bending down and starting to pick the mushrooms closest to her.
I realised I didn't have a basket with me (stupid Pippin, yes, very stupid), so I pulled off my scarf to carry the mushrooms I picked.
We picked away for about 20 minutes, until our baskets (oh, I'm sorry, basket and scarf) were full (so were our stomachs, I might add, for no Hobbit can resist the pull of mushrooms sending out "Eat Me" vibes!). I stood up, stretched my legs, and then helped Sarah up. She smiled at me (I almost fell over, my knees went so week), and put her hand up to touch my face.
"You know something, Pip?" she said, looking into my eyes.
"What, Sarah?" I said, looking back into hers (such a pretty deep brown!).
"You really are the nicest person I've ever met," she said, blushing a little.
"Well, the feeling is mutual," I grinned, leaning closer to her... and closer... and closer... until-
*BANG*
We sprang apart, staring wildly round. It had sounded like a gunshot. Suddenly, over the top of the cornfields came the sound of a man shouting and dogs barking.
"You wait until I get you, you're trespassing on private property, you are! My dogs'll rip you to shreds if I don't get there first!" the voice was yelling, sounding furious.
I grabbed Sarah's hand again and whispered, "Follow me! Run, and don't look back!"
We stumbled forward into the cornfield again, and I glanced around quickly, looking for the way out. I spotted a sort of pathway in between the stalks and pulled Sarah through. Or, I tried to, but one of the dogs had got hold of the back of her skirt.
"Sarah!" I cried, kicking out at the dog. One of my kicks landed on the dogs nose and he let go in a hurry, giving me enough time to drag Sarah through the pathway and back out onto the dirt road.
When safely out, we ran down the road a bit, then sat down on the roadside fence, panting.
I shot a sideways glance at Sarah; that was all we needed. We both starting snorting with laughter, laughing harder and harder until we were holding each other up, tears running down our faces.
"Ow, ow, my stomach!" Sarah gasped, clutching it.
"How's your skirt?" I asked. Sarah turned around, and set us off into another fit of hysteria: a big tear was in the skirt, and there was dirt and dog slobber all over the hem.
Finally, after about 10 minutes laughter, we set back off home, retelling the story of our escape over and over, making it even more elaborate each time: "The dogs were as big as horses!"; "Farmer Maggot was right behind us!"; "A bullet from his gun whizzed straight by my shoulder!".
We reached the main road again, and stood there for awhile, smiling at each other. On impulse, I leant in and kissed her swiftly on the lips. She giggled, gave my hand a last squeeze, and walked off towards her house. Well, rather, she did the same silly skip as we'd done on the way out.
Grinning like an idiot, I skipped up the steps to our house and banged through the door. I could sense something wasn't right straight away... I couldn't smell mushrooms anymore! I walked into the kitchen, where Sam, Frodo and Merry were sitting at the table, talking.
"Oh, you're back!" said Frodo, looking up.
"Yup!" I said cheerfully. "Sam, where's Rosie?"
"Oh, she left a few minutes ago," Sam said, looking strangely pleased.
"Happy about something, Sam?" I asked, seeing his smile.
"Oh yes, Rosie's fantastic, isn't she? So pretty... She told me her life- long dream!"
"What's that then, Sammy?"
"To get married and have kids," Sam sighed dreamily. I smothered a laugh, picturing Sam, 20 years on, married to Rosie and bouncing a baby in his lap.
"What about you, Pip, why do you look so happy?" Merry asked (I was glad to see him looking fully awake now).
"Ohhhh.. nothing," I mumbled, shaking off the image of Sam being married. "Where's the frying pan gone, Sam? I've got plenty of 'shrooms for us all here!"
"Pip, you've been gone hours, we finished breakfast ages ago! What took you so long?"
I grinned and told them all what happened, conveniently 'forgetting' about the kiss. They all laughed, then Sam got up and took the mushrooms from me.
"Well, time for lunch, I reckon!" he said, sniffing the 'shrooms in delight.
"I think you mean breakfast, seeing as I didn't really have mine," I pointed out.
"Well we've had ours," said Frodo.
"Aren't we lucky then, we get two breakfasts!" exclaimed Merry, looking hungrily at the mushrooms.
"I guess it's.. a Second Breakfast then!" I said, laughing at my brilliance.
"Yeah!" everyone agreed, and from then on, any food served between breakfast and lunch was dubbed Second Breakfast!
A/N- Well, first chapter up! How'd everyone like it? I have no idea where the story's going to go; I basically wrote this out of boredom and pent-up lust for Pippin. Any plot ideas would be appreciated, just leave them in the reviews! (hinthint, R&R!) Thanks!
--Kazwise Gamgee