Entropy surveyed his current surroundings with no small measure of
bemusement. He stood just outside Azrael's Fortress – fortress being the
only adequate word to describe it. He had originally intended to storm
through the nearby towns and scare the information out of the villagers;
unfortunately, there was no fun to be had this day. The townsfolk had taken
one look at him and, after some discreet snickering and finger-pointing,
had directed him straight here. With good reason, as was now apparent.
The Fortress was a huge, hulking structure, rising into the clouds like some grotesque spider. It defied the eye to find one smooth curve, one straight line. It was a solid mass of twisted spikes and disjointed lines, as if the architect had left it unfinished (he had, in fact. Azrael had had him executed so his Fortress could never be mapped or copied – unfortunately, said Fortress wasn't quite complete. The story of his life…). From the parapets there loomed hideous gargoyles – many of which seemed suspiciously lifelike, especially when a squabble broke out and one came crashing down. The gate itself was elaborately decorated with sinister wards and runes. The entire structure was surrounded by a huge moat – unfilled, as apparently Azrael hadn't quite gotten the hang of keeping the water in the hole. All this in a beautifully scenic flower field, complete with swaying dandelions and adorable rabbits (…all the suitably evil territory had already been taken – and hey, it beat living with his mother…). Entropy couldn't quite decide whether it was awe-inspiring or simply ludicrous.
After a brief examination of the heavily warded main gate, he deemed it too dangerous to pass. So he took the servant's entrance to the side; the help had apparently left it unlocked. He quickly passed through several of what appeared to be supply rooms before finally entering the main hall. If anything, it was even more flamboyant than the exterior. From what little he could see from the main hall, the castle interior was a morass of shifting hallways and poorly lit alcoves (granted, he could see in the dark, but it was still an inconvenience). Towering onyx sculptures of various demons and denizens of the Lower Reaches littered the hallways. Dripping wax candles were placed at key intervals – which is to say, the light was everywhere the traps weren't. And to top it all off, discordant shrieks occasionally sounded through the labyrinthine passages. Entropy felt right at home.
His attention was quickly captured by an unusual creature in the far corner of the room. After closer inspection he realized it was in fact a man – albeit a hideously deformed one. His clothes were ripped and tattered far beyond the point of repair; they more resembled a dishcloth than actual garments – something Discord would likely wear, he thought amusedly. The man walked with a pronounced limp, dragging his clubfoot behind him – although it was obvious that the shoe was merely stuffed with socks. His hunchback was similarly grotesque, to the point that he was forced to walk with his head level with his abdomen – which would have been far more convincing if said hunchback didn't fall off every few minutes. To top it all off was his face – his one true claim to traditional evil. Suffice to say, his was a face mothers would feel no regret drowning at birth – if they hadn't fainted first. At the present moment, he seemed to be engrossed totally in overseeing a group of spiders, whom had apparently spun their web in the wrong alcove, disrupting his precious symmetry.
The butler spotted Entropy almost immediately, and after giving his spiders a few last orders, shuffled over in his awkward gait.
"What bringth you to the Mathter'th 'Fortreth of Evil~?" he lisped, stretching out the last word and making spooky gestures. "I am Igor, thervant to the great Mathter!"
Entropy did his best to contain his laughter. Best not to insult the help, after all. "I have come with an important tasssk for your Massster," he informed the butler. "Take me to him immediately."
Igor didn't seem to hear. "Let'th all walk over Igor," he grumbled loudly. "Igor doethn't have feelingth, oh no. Igor jutht watheth the floorth and replatheth the Manticore trapth. Jutht onthe Igor would like thomeone to thay, 'I'm here for Igor!' But ith anyone ever here for Igor? Oh, no! Tho Igor'th only friendth are the thpiderth. The thpiderth care about Igor'th feelingth!" he added accusingly, glaring at Entropy. In the corner, the spiders had just killed one of their own and were beginning to eat him.
Entropy cocked his head. Perhaps this butler didn't understand the importance of his task. "You do not underssstand. My ordersss come sstraight from The Unholy Blight himssssself," he told the bitter Igor self- importantly.
"Did thith 'Unholy Blight' ever have to clean the Manticore piths?!" Igor shot back.
"I…ssupposssse not," Entropy replied uncertainly. He didn't like where this conversation was going. He had his orders, and he took great pride in always completing those orders. This bitter little servant was causing much too much trouble…
"Oh, thith 'Unholy Blight ith tho~ important," Igor continued mockingly. "Jutht like all thothe other Evil Mathterth. 'Do thith, do that', they thay. And uth Minionth have to do thith and do that. I wath the floorth and clean thith entire cathtle. What doeth the Mathter do? He thtayth there in hith room and doeth nothing! Nothing! Oh thure, he thayth he'th planning hith 'world dominion', but Igor knowth he'th just eating all of Igor'th food! None left for Igor! Never any left for Igor! And then he laughth at Igor! Oh, how they laugh at poor Igor!" He began to sob huge, wracking sobs.
For the first time in a very long time, Entropy was at a loss. He couldn't very well kill the annoying little creature without potentially angering the very person he had come to recruit. And that would hardly leave the Unholy Blight pleased – he didn't take kindly to failure. But it was so tempting…
Entropy tried one last time. "If you would ssssimply take me to this Assssrael-"
"Oh, thure, thay the 'thhhhhhh'. Rub it in Igor'th fathe," the diminutive butler complained bitterly. He fell back into his unintelligible muttering.
Entropy started to speak again, then thought better of it. It would be far quicker – not to mention safer – to find this Azrael character without the help of the volatile butler.
He was soon regretting his decision. The Fortress was a veritable Labyrinth, and was booby-trapped to boot. Igor hadn't been kidding about those Manticore traps. He soon lost track of time navigating the twists and turns; Igor's signs certainly didn't help (after several incidents, Entropy realized those 'helpful' signs led to the Manticore pits). Eventually, he found himself standing before an ornate door. Pushing it open, he found himself standing in what appeared to be a bizarre throne room.
If anything, it was a mirror image of Xan's own cavern deep within the Abyss. Everything was carved from onyx, lending the room a sinister appearance. The ceiling rose into the gloom, vanishing from sight. Candles provided some meager light, but most had burnt out long ago, leaving much of the room cloaked in shadows. In terms of furnishings, the decorator had once again gone over the top. Everything was composed entirely of bones – presumably human. The tables were supported by leg bones, the candle holders were made of finger bones. And at the very end of the room, atop a raised dais, loomed the Throne. It was large as an ogre – no mean feat – and formed entirely of skulls; its' ruddy hue suggested it had been dipped in blood several times over. Entropy's respect for the man responsible rose several notches.
Said man was currently pacing atop his dais, muttering to himself. He looked to be in his early thirties, although it was hard to discern in all the murk and gloom. He was rather tallish, with dark eyes and wavy black hair – dyed, it appeared. His skin was very pale, as if he hadn't seen the sun in ages. In all likelihood, he hadn't. His costume – costume being the only word for it – was outlandish in the extreme. He would have fit right in with an acting troupe. He wore a dark robe, complete with mystic runes and sigils. His cape was several feet too long, causing him to trip every time he turned around. He had to have had at least twenty rings on his gloved hands – each more garish than the last. To top it all off, he wore a winged dragon circlet around his head. Entropy's regard dropped right back down. Taking care to hide his amusement, he approached the figure and bowed deeply.
"Greetingsss, Great One," he said respectfully. "I have come on behalf of the Unholy Blight to-"
"You!" Azrael shouted, cutting him short. "Just how long do you think it will take me to conquer the world!?"
Entropy blinked, caught off guard. "I ssupposse…when one takessss into account risssing economic tenssion, political alliancesss and treatiess, the active armiesssss of each major nation as well as necesssary funding…ssseveral decades, at the very leassst," he hazarded a guess.
"Wrong!" Azrael shouted gleefully. He began to dance about the dais. "Yet another underestimates my genius! It shall take me approximately five hours and twenty-three minutes!…taking into account my tea time." He began to laugh – evilly.
"How exactly sssshall you do ssso?" Entropy asked politely.
"Eh?" Azrael stopped laughing long enough to fix a confused look on Entropy. "Do what?"
"Take over the world in five hoursss," Entropy reiterated.
"Five hours twenty-three minutes!" Azrael snapped. "And I shall do so with my almost-invincible Magical Ultimate Weapon Mark IV! Join me in my evil laughter! Mwa…mwahaha….mwahahahahaha!!"
"I think I ssshal passs," Entropy declined. "Mark IV? What of the other three?"
"Oh, those," Azrael waved a hand dismissively. "Those weren't nearly as almost-invincible as I had hoped. Mark I switched the fireball lever with the self-destruct button. Luckily, only Igor was near the test sight. Mark II was only quasi-invincible, to my immense displeasure. And Mark III was a major disappointment, what with the only semi-invincible armor plating…" He sighed dolefully. "But Mark IV," he added, cheering up considerably, "is truly almost-invincible!"
"Why…not make it truly invincible?" Entropy asked, intrigued despite himself.
"…Because we need someplace to put the self-destruct button," Azrael replied, looking at Entropy as if he were an idiot. "But never fear! I have learned from my mistakes with Mark I. This self-destruct button is clearly marked as such! Soon, the world will bow to me! Bow, peons! For I! AM! SKELETOR!" His eyes glazed over as he imagined his future successes.
Entropy shook his head. He couldn't imagine why the Unholy Blight would need one such as this. It was hardly his place to argue, however…
"Now, to move on to more pressssing matterss…" he began, trying to move the conversation back on track. "I came here-"
"Eh? You're here?" Azrael stopped in his tracks and looked at Entropy for the first time. His eyes widened. "An intruder! A foul Servant of Justice, no doubt, seeking to foil my perfect plans! Your petty disguise shall do you no good!" He pointed an accusing finger at Entropy.
"…But we were just now dissscusssing your plansss for world domination," Entropy said, puzzled by this sudden mood shift.
"No more lies from you!" Azrael shrieked. "I was merely contemplating my plans aloud, when you waltz in and attempt to listen in! Think you I am too dense to notice when and when not I am speaking to someone!? You have truly underestimated me!"
"No, you sssee, I was sssent here by the Unholy-" Entropy began again.
"HA! You must be truly canny to have evaded the Manticore pits!" He laughed. "No matter! This shall prove a fine first test for our Magical Ultimate Weapon Mark IV! You shall witness firsthand my true power! Igor!" he screamed, the echoes reverberating off the walls.
Within seconds Igor had appeared; either he had been listening at the door, or he wasn't quite as lame as he let on. He quickly shuffled up to his Master, paying the baffled Entropy no heed.
"Yeth, Mathter?" Igor asked, bowing his head – not a difficult task by any stretch, considering his head was halfway to the floor under normal circumstances anyway.
"This one is a spy sent by those damnable Servants of Justice to ruin my beautiful plans for world dominion!" Azrael fumed, pointing at Entropy. "He shall be the first the fall to the awful might of the Magical Ultimate Weapon Mark IV! Fetch it, and teach this insolent cur a lesson!"
"Yeth, Mathter!" Igor readily agreed, flashing a nasty smile at Entropy. He quickly scurried out of the room – forgetting his supposed limp in the process. Azrael frowned and took that down for future reference.
Just when Entropy had begun to assure himself that that despicable little butler had fallen into one of his own Manticore pits, the rumbling started. It grew louder and more intense as the time passed, until finally, a hideous contraption erupted from the west wall.
It resembled nothing so much as a giant metal dragon. It was nearly twenty feet tall and over twice that in length. From the metal's unusual luster, it was most likely solid mithril – making it more than 'almost-invincible'. Blue runes covered the entire contraption, presumably to supply the thing with power. A single red rune sat on the dragon's chest, with the words 'Self-Destruct: Heroes Please Refrain From Touching' written above it. Igor sat atop the head, directing it via a large panel of runes.
"Yes! Now you shall be destroyed! And your death shall pave the way for my new world! One in which I am sole ruler of all!" Azrael crowed, dancing on his dais in excitement.
"Yeth, you thall pay for your inthenthitivity!" Igor added, moving the metal dragon forward. "No one careth about Igor'th feelingth, eh!? Igor'll thow you!! Igor'll thow the whole world!!" he screamed, pressing a large rune. The dragon stopped and began to glow slightly, gathering power for a first – and last – blow.
Entropy shook his head slowly. He despised dealing with idiots. Ignoring Igor's insane ranting, he walked up the dragon and pressed the red rune.
The world turned white. When the dust had finally cleared, a very battered, very dazed Igor sat amidst the remains of the Magical Ultimate Weapon Mark IV.
"No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!" Azrael shrieked, shaking a fist at the heavens.
"But your Weapon wassss only almosst-invincible," Entropy pointed out.
"Oh, yes, point taken," Azrael admitted, calming down immediately.
"Now," Entropy asked pointedly, "if I could explain why I am here?"
"One moment," Azrael said. He turned to Igor. "Igor, wake up!! I don't not pay you to lounge about doing nothing!"
Igor shook his head and slowly got to his feet. "Yeth, Mathter?" he asked dazedly.
"What do you mean, 'yeth mathter'?! You have completely ruined the Magical Ultimate Weapon Mark IV!"
"But…it wath not me…" Igor began vainly.
"Of course it was you!" Azrael snapped. "You were piloting it, and you completely destroyed my wonderful Weapon of Mass Destruction! Off to the torture chamber for you! You shall have to be punished!"
"Yeth, Mathter. But, I am the Head Torturer…" Igor added.
"Oh, well then, you shan't have to wait for him," Azrael said sweetly. "You can get started right away. Don't go easy just because it's you!" he added sternly before turning back to Entropy.
"Yeth, Mathter," Igor sighed reluctantly. He shuffled back out the room, throwing one last baleful glare in Entropy's direction.
"Now," Azrael continued, "let us forget that little misunderstanding. You obviously cannot be a hero, as you pressed the self-destruct rune which specifically ordered all heroes not to touch it! Oh, how clever I can be sometimes…" he chuckled to himself.
Entropy blinked. Then he sighed. "My Massster, The Unholy Blight, hasss a propossition for you. He requir – he requessstss your servicesss one month from today. What ssssay you?"
"Ha! Me, serve another?" Azrael scoffed. "And when I am so close to world dominion as well! The Magical Ultimate Weapon Mark V shall be sure to succeed! Why should I accept this proposition?"
"Becausssse the Unholy Blight sssshall rend you limb fro-" Entropy began impatiently. Then he stopped. This one would probably ask him to name the time and place. Something subtler than threats was needed.
"It involvesss the ssssssubjugation and eventual dominion of a world." That ought to attract his interest.
Azrael's ears perked up. "World dominion, you say? You might have mentioned that sooner! I shall join with this Master of yours! And when I have conquered that world, I shall return to claim this one! Mwa…mwaha…mwahahahaha!!"
Entropy sighed once more. He hoped Discord was having as unpleasant a time as he.
The Fortress was a huge, hulking structure, rising into the clouds like some grotesque spider. It defied the eye to find one smooth curve, one straight line. It was a solid mass of twisted spikes and disjointed lines, as if the architect had left it unfinished (he had, in fact. Azrael had had him executed so his Fortress could never be mapped or copied – unfortunately, said Fortress wasn't quite complete. The story of his life…). From the parapets there loomed hideous gargoyles – many of which seemed suspiciously lifelike, especially when a squabble broke out and one came crashing down. The gate itself was elaborately decorated with sinister wards and runes. The entire structure was surrounded by a huge moat – unfilled, as apparently Azrael hadn't quite gotten the hang of keeping the water in the hole. All this in a beautifully scenic flower field, complete with swaying dandelions and adorable rabbits (…all the suitably evil territory had already been taken – and hey, it beat living with his mother…). Entropy couldn't quite decide whether it was awe-inspiring or simply ludicrous.
After a brief examination of the heavily warded main gate, he deemed it too dangerous to pass. So he took the servant's entrance to the side; the help had apparently left it unlocked. He quickly passed through several of what appeared to be supply rooms before finally entering the main hall. If anything, it was even more flamboyant than the exterior. From what little he could see from the main hall, the castle interior was a morass of shifting hallways and poorly lit alcoves (granted, he could see in the dark, but it was still an inconvenience). Towering onyx sculptures of various demons and denizens of the Lower Reaches littered the hallways. Dripping wax candles were placed at key intervals – which is to say, the light was everywhere the traps weren't. And to top it all off, discordant shrieks occasionally sounded through the labyrinthine passages. Entropy felt right at home.
His attention was quickly captured by an unusual creature in the far corner of the room. After closer inspection he realized it was in fact a man – albeit a hideously deformed one. His clothes were ripped and tattered far beyond the point of repair; they more resembled a dishcloth than actual garments – something Discord would likely wear, he thought amusedly. The man walked with a pronounced limp, dragging his clubfoot behind him – although it was obvious that the shoe was merely stuffed with socks. His hunchback was similarly grotesque, to the point that he was forced to walk with his head level with his abdomen – which would have been far more convincing if said hunchback didn't fall off every few minutes. To top it all off was his face – his one true claim to traditional evil. Suffice to say, his was a face mothers would feel no regret drowning at birth – if they hadn't fainted first. At the present moment, he seemed to be engrossed totally in overseeing a group of spiders, whom had apparently spun their web in the wrong alcove, disrupting his precious symmetry.
The butler spotted Entropy almost immediately, and after giving his spiders a few last orders, shuffled over in his awkward gait.
"What bringth you to the Mathter'th 'Fortreth of Evil~?" he lisped, stretching out the last word and making spooky gestures. "I am Igor, thervant to the great Mathter!"
Entropy did his best to contain his laughter. Best not to insult the help, after all. "I have come with an important tasssk for your Massster," he informed the butler. "Take me to him immediately."
Igor didn't seem to hear. "Let'th all walk over Igor," he grumbled loudly. "Igor doethn't have feelingth, oh no. Igor jutht watheth the floorth and replatheth the Manticore trapth. Jutht onthe Igor would like thomeone to thay, 'I'm here for Igor!' But ith anyone ever here for Igor? Oh, no! Tho Igor'th only friendth are the thpiderth. The thpiderth care about Igor'th feelingth!" he added accusingly, glaring at Entropy. In the corner, the spiders had just killed one of their own and were beginning to eat him.
Entropy cocked his head. Perhaps this butler didn't understand the importance of his task. "You do not underssstand. My ordersss come sstraight from The Unholy Blight himssssself," he told the bitter Igor self- importantly.
"Did thith 'Unholy Blight' ever have to clean the Manticore piths?!" Igor shot back.
"I…ssupposssse not," Entropy replied uncertainly. He didn't like where this conversation was going. He had his orders, and he took great pride in always completing those orders. This bitter little servant was causing much too much trouble…
"Oh, thith 'Unholy Blight ith tho~ important," Igor continued mockingly. "Jutht like all thothe other Evil Mathterth. 'Do thith, do that', they thay. And uth Minionth have to do thith and do that. I wath the floorth and clean thith entire cathtle. What doeth the Mathter do? He thtayth there in hith room and doeth nothing! Nothing! Oh thure, he thayth he'th planning hith 'world dominion', but Igor knowth he'th just eating all of Igor'th food! None left for Igor! Never any left for Igor! And then he laughth at Igor! Oh, how they laugh at poor Igor!" He began to sob huge, wracking sobs.
For the first time in a very long time, Entropy was at a loss. He couldn't very well kill the annoying little creature without potentially angering the very person he had come to recruit. And that would hardly leave the Unholy Blight pleased – he didn't take kindly to failure. But it was so tempting…
Entropy tried one last time. "If you would ssssimply take me to this Assssrael-"
"Oh, thure, thay the 'thhhhhhh'. Rub it in Igor'th fathe," the diminutive butler complained bitterly. He fell back into his unintelligible muttering.
Entropy started to speak again, then thought better of it. It would be far quicker – not to mention safer – to find this Azrael character without the help of the volatile butler.
He was soon regretting his decision. The Fortress was a veritable Labyrinth, and was booby-trapped to boot. Igor hadn't been kidding about those Manticore traps. He soon lost track of time navigating the twists and turns; Igor's signs certainly didn't help (after several incidents, Entropy realized those 'helpful' signs led to the Manticore pits). Eventually, he found himself standing before an ornate door. Pushing it open, he found himself standing in what appeared to be a bizarre throne room.
If anything, it was a mirror image of Xan's own cavern deep within the Abyss. Everything was carved from onyx, lending the room a sinister appearance. The ceiling rose into the gloom, vanishing from sight. Candles provided some meager light, but most had burnt out long ago, leaving much of the room cloaked in shadows. In terms of furnishings, the decorator had once again gone over the top. Everything was composed entirely of bones – presumably human. The tables were supported by leg bones, the candle holders were made of finger bones. And at the very end of the room, atop a raised dais, loomed the Throne. It was large as an ogre – no mean feat – and formed entirely of skulls; its' ruddy hue suggested it had been dipped in blood several times over. Entropy's respect for the man responsible rose several notches.
Said man was currently pacing atop his dais, muttering to himself. He looked to be in his early thirties, although it was hard to discern in all the murk and gloom. He was rather tallish, with dark eyes and wavy black hair – dyed, it appeared. His skin was very pale, as if he hadn't seen the sun in ages. In all likelihood, he hadn't. His costume – costume being the only word for it – was outlandish in the extreme. He would have fit right in with an acting troupe. He wore a dark robe, complete with mystic runes and sigils. His cape was several feet too long, causing him to trip every time he turned around. He had to have had at least twenty rings on his gloved hands – each more garish than the last. To top it all off, he wore a winged dragon circlet around his head. Entropy's regard dropped right back down. Taking care to hide his amusement, he approached the figure and bowed deeply.
"Greetingsss, Great One," he said respectfully. "I have come on behalf of the Unholy Blight to-"
"You!" Azrael shouted, cutting him short. "Just how long do you think it will take me to conquer the world!?"
Entropy blinked, caught off guard. "I ssupposse…when one takessss into account risssing economic tenssion, political alliancesss and treatiess, the active armiesssss of each major nation as well as necesssary funding…ssseveral decades, at the very leassst," he hazarded a guess.
"Wrong!" Azrael shouted gleefully. He began to dance about the dais. "Yet another underestimates my genius! It shall take me approximately five hours and twenty-three minutes!…taking into account my tea time." He began to laugh – evilly.
"How exactly sssshall you do ssso?" Entropy asked politely.
"Eh?" Azrael stopped laughing long enough to fix a confused look on Entropy. "Do what?"
"Take over the world in five hoursss," Entropy reiterated.
"Five hours twenty-three minutes!" Azrael snapped. "And I shall do so with my almost-invincible Magical Ultimate Weapon Mark IV! Join me in my evil laughter! Mwa…mwahaha….mwahahahahaha!!"
"I think I ssshal passs," Entropy declined. "Mark IV? What of the other three?"
"Oh, those," Azrael waved a hand dismissively. "Those weren't nearly as almost-invincible as I had hoped. Mark I switched the fireball lever with the self-destruct button. Luckily, only Igor was near the test sight. Mark II was only quasi-invincible, to my immense displeasure. And Mark III was a major disappointment, what with the only semi-invincible armor plating…" He sighed dolefully. "But Mark IV," he added, cheering up considerably, "is truly almost-invincible!"
"Why…not make it truly invincible?" Entropy asked, intrigued despite himself.
"…Because we need someplace to put the self-destruct button," Azrael replied, looking at Entropy as if he were an idiot. "But never fear! I have learned from my mistakes with Mark I. This self-destruct button is clearly marked as such! Soon, the world will bow to me! Bow, peons! For I! AM! SKELETOR!" His eyes glazed over as he imagined his future successes.
Entropy shook his head. He couldn't imagine why the Unholy Blight would need one such as this. It was hardly his place to argue, however…
"Now, to move on to more pressssing matterss…" he began, trying to move the conversation back on track. "I came here-"
"Eh? You're here?" Azrael stopped in his tracks and looked at Entropy for the first time. His eyes widened. "An intruder! A foul Servant of Justice, no doubt, seeking to foil my perfect plans! Your petty disguise shall do you no good!" He pointed an accusing finger at Entropy.
"…But we were just now dissscusssing your plansss for world domination," Entropy said, puzzled by this sudden mood shift.
"No more lies from you!" Azrael shrieked. "I was merely contemplating my plans aloud, when you waltz in and attempt to listen in! Think you I am too dense to notice when and when not I am speaking to someone!? You have truly underestimated me!"
"No, you sssee, I was sssent here by the Unholy-" Entropy began again.
"HA! You must be truly canny to have evaded the Manticore pits!" He laughed. "No matter! This shall prove a fine first test for our Magical Ultimate Weapon Mark IV! You shall witness firsthand my true power! Igor!" he screamed, the echoes reverberating off the walls.
Within seconds Igor had appeared; either he had been listening at the door, or he wasn't quite as lame as he let on. He quickly shuffled up to his Master, paying the baffled Entropy no heed.
"Yeth, Mathter?" Igor asked, bowing his head – not a difficult task by any stretch, considering his head was halfway to the floor under normal circumstances anyway.
"This one is a spy sent by those damnable Servants of Justice to ruin my beautiful plans for world dominion!" Azrael fumed, pointing at Entropy. "He shall be the first the fall to the awful might of the Magical Ultimate Weapon Mark IV! Fetch it, and teach this insolent cur a lesson!"
"Yeth, Mathter!" Igor readily agreed, flashing a nasty smile at Entropy. He quickly scurried out of the room – forgetting his supposed limp in the process. Azrael frowned and took that down for future reference.
Just when Entropy had begun to assure himself that that despicable little butler had fallen into one of his own Manticore pits, the rumbling started. It grew louder and more intense as the time passed, until finally, a hideous contraption erupted from the west wall.
It resembled nothing so much as a giant metal dragon. It was nearly twenty feet tall and over twice that in length. From the metal's unusual luster, it was most likely solid mithril – making it more than 'almost-invincible'. Blue runes covered the entire contraption, presumably to supply the thing with power. A single red rune sat on the dragon's chest, with the words 'Self-Destruct: Heroes Please Refrain From Touching' written above it. Igor sat atop the head, directing it via a large panel of runes.
"Yes! Now you shall be destroyed! And your death shall pave the way for my new world! One in which I am sole ruler of all!" Azrael crowed, dancing on his dais in excitement.
"Yeth, you thall pay for your inthenthitivity!" Igor added, moving the metal dragon forward. "No one careth about Igor'th feelingth, eh!? Igor'll thow you!! Igor'll thow the whole world!!" he screamed, pressing a large rune. The dragon stopped and began to glow slightly, gathering power for a first – and last – blow.
Entropy shook his head slowly. He despised dealing with idiots. Ignoring Igor's insane ranting, he walked up the dragon and pressed the red rune.
The world turned white. When the dust had finally cleared, a very battered, very dazed Igor sat amidst the remains of the Magical Ultimate Weapon Mark IV.
"No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!" Azrael shrieked, shaking a fist at the heavens.
"But your Weapon wassss only almosst-invincible," Entropy pointed out.
"Oh, yes, point taken," Azrael admitted, calming down immediately.
"Now," Entropy asked pointedly, "if I could explain why I am here?"
"One moment," Azrael said. He turned to Igor. "Igor, wake up!! I don't not pay you to lounge about doing nothing!"
Igor shook his head and slowly got to his feet. "Yeth, Mathter?" he asked dazedly.
"What do you mean, 'yeth mathter'?! You have completely ruined the Magical Ultimate Weapon Mark IV!"
"But…it wath not me…" Igor began vainly.
"Of course it was you!" Azrael snapped. "You were piloting it, and you completely destroyed my wonderful Weapon of Mass Destruction! Off to the torture chamber for you! You shall have to be punished!"
"Yeth, Mathter. But, I am the Head Torturer…" Igor added.
"Oh, well then, you shan't have to wait for him," Azrael said sweetly. "You can get started right away. Don't go easy just because it's you!" he added sternly before turning back to Entropy.
"Yeth, Mathter," Igor sighed reluctantly. He shuffled back out the room, throwing one last baleful glare in Entropy's direction.
"Now," Azrael continued, "let us forget that little misunderstanding. You obviously cannot be a hero, as you pressed the self-destruct rune which specifically ordered all heroes not to touch it! Oh, how clever I can be sometimes…" he chuckled to himself.
Entropy blinked. Then he sighed. "My Massster, The Unholy Blight, hasss a propossition for you. He requir – he requessstss your servicesss one month from today. What ssssay you?"
"Ha! Me, serve another?" Azrael scoffed. "And when I am so close to world dominion as well! The Magical Ultimate Weapon Mark V shall be sure to succeed! Why should I accept this proposition?"
"Becausssse the Unholy Blight sssshall rend you limb fro-" Entropy began impatiently. Then he stopped. This one would probably ask him to name the time and place. Something subtler than threats was needed.
"It involvesss the ssssssubjugation and eventual dominion of a world." That ought to attract his interest.
Azrael's ears perked up. "World dominion, you say? You might have mentioned that sooner! I shall join with this Master of yours! And when I have conquered that world, I shall return to claim this one! Mwa…mwaha…mwahahahaha!!"
Entropy sighed once more. He hoped Discord was having as unpleasant a time as he.