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Everlasting Road ch. #15
Liria was sitting outside in the sunlight when she heard Legolas return. She got up quickly, smiling to greet him. He smiled in return, but it was obviously strained. Worry and grief bent his shoulders and showed plainly on his face. Liria's heart ached to see him so, and she blamed the dwarf for it all. If he had not started the rivalry between them, all would be well. Liria did not bother to remember that it had been she to go to Gimli's room and confront him first. In her mind, it had started long before that. Even before she had fired that first arrow.
"What troubles you, my Lord?" Liria asked when Legolas stood in front of her. She knew full well what was troubling him, but wanted to hear his take on it.
Legolas seemed to think carefully before replying, as if choosing his words with the utmost precautions. "If I were to leave," Legolas finally said, "would you follow me?"
"To the ends of the world," was Liria's unhesitant answer, "why bother with such an obvious question?"
Legolas looked steadily into her eyes, which were an indiscernible color at the time, "If I were to leave with Gimli, would you still follow me." It was not a question, more like an open statement.
Liria's eyes darkened, but too many emotions struggled to show a dominant color. "You cannot ask this of me at this point in time."
"Then when would I be able to ask?" Legolas questioned back, "It seems that this topic would never have an appropriate time. Or maybe I speak mistakenly, perhaps we would be able to speak freely of it if Gimli were dead."
Liria took a ragged breath before answering. She had no intentions of lying to Legolas, as he would be able to tell anyway. "It would be easier, yes. It is always easiest to speak of something that you know will never come to pass. As for now, it is a very difficult conversation."
"Difficult because you know not your own heart or because you know not of mine?" Legolas asked calmly. His eyes were dull, and there was no mirth or lightness about him.
"I know my own heart well enough. It is your reaction that I also know of that stills my tongue and makes this difficult." Liria spoke softly, her eyes locked on Legolas'. Neither looked away from each other. She could see the pain in his eyes grow at her last statement.
"Then you do not know my heart if you think only of my reaction. Of course if you were to say no, I would be grieved and upset. But that is not what concerns you, you feel that it would drive us apart, that this meeting contains final words. If you knew my heart, you would know that no matter what is said at this point, it is not final. I do not desert the ones I love easily and in one conversation." Legolas finished speaking and finally looked away from Liria, beyond her towards the heavens.
Liria knew she had spoken wrongly. Of course she knew Legolas to be very loyal to those he loved. What she could not see was the level of love in him for Gimli. Since Gimli was not high in her own esteem, it was not fathomable for her to see him high in another's. She could not understand why Legolas would be so eager to leave with Gimli, and why it mattered so much. As soon as the dwarf left, their lives would become that much easier.
Liria tried to phrase her feelings into a question that would not cause more pain to Legolas, "Why is it so essential that you follow that dwarf anywhere? Could we not be happy here, together?"
Legolas continued to look past her. "I am no longer needed here. I do not wish to stay. I will depart, and if I must, I might as well go with my own friend so that we may finish our adventures together. He feels abandoned, and it tears me for him to feel so."
"And what of what I feel?" asked Liria, anger and feelings of betrayal starting to rise within her. "I am to remain here alone and discarded? I will follow you anywhere, I have already stated this. All I ask is that I do not have to tarry behind a dwarf the whole way." Liria's voice cracked and her eyes started to show a color. They were becoming a deep blue, full of grief.
Legolas finally looked her in the eye again, "And all that I ask is to accompany Gimli. He cannot leave here thinking that our friendship means nothing. This is surely a task smaller than wandering to the corners of the earth."
"Not to me," Liria cut Legolas off, "To me it would seem easier to pass into the Havens by swimming the entire way. I cannot abide the company of one who hates me with passion equal to my own."
Legolas could think of nothing more to say. He simply closed his eyes and turned slowly. He began to walk away. "Legolas," Liria called after him, then louder, "Legolas!" His steps did not slow, he did not even turn. The only sign he gave was his shoulders bending even more and his step becoming ever heavier. He did not even look like an elf anymore, so heavy did his weight carry.
Liria watched him through blurred vision. She was not one to cry, especially out in the open, so she tried in vain to check herself. But the tears spilled unbidden anyway. She was convinced that she had just lost her love. Liria angrily dashed the tears away, and her eyes were wreathed with red. There was a new thought in her head now, the dwarf. It was all because of the dwarf that she and Legolas had argued, and now it was the dwarf who caused Legolas to withdraw from her. Liria turned and stalked angrily into the forest. The only way she could deal with her grief was to replace it with anger. And she did just that, unsheathing her long elvish knife and hurling it at a tree far from her. It struck with such force the small tree swayed. Liria was sorry she had hurt a thing in the forest, but it did little to divert the deadly concentration of her thoughts. She caught up to her knife and ripped it out of the tree without so much as a word of explanation or apology to the defenseless sapling.
When Liria finally reached a clearing in the wood, she stopped in the center of it. She planted her knife deep into the ground, and then threw her head up to the open sky and let out a terrible cry. It was full of grief and futile rage at the same time. The creatures of the wood who heard it stopped all activity and froze in fear. They ran farthest from the cry before resuming with their activities.
When Liria's cry ended, she collapsed to the ground and sat with her arms wrapped around her drawn up knees. She wanted to cry, perhaps she needed to cry, but she would not allow herself to and instead focused thoughts on fixing the problem at hand. But what could she possibly do? There was nothing to be done, short of killing the dwarf, and then Legolas would never forgive her. She had to get rid of the dwarf and then get Legolas' affections back, but how? Liria finally gave up her inner struggle and she cried softly in the abandoned glade.
Everlasting Road ch. #15
Liria was sitting outside in the sunlight when she heard Legolas return. She got up quickly, smiling to greet him. He smiled in return, but it was obviously strained. Worry and grief bent his shoulders and showed plainly on his face. Liria's heart ached to see him so, and she blamed the dwarf for it all. If he had not started the rivalry between them, all would be well. Liria did not bother to remember that it had been she to go to Gimli's room and confront him first. In her mind, it had started long before that. Even before she had fired that first arrow.
"What troubles you, my Lord?" Liria asked when Legolas stood in front of her. She knew full well what was troubling him, but wanted to hear his take on it.
Legolas seemed to think carefully before replying, as if choosing his words with the utmost precautions. "If I were to leave," Legolas finally said, "would you follow me?"
"To the ends of the world," was Liria's unhesitant answer, "why bother with such an obvious question?"
Legolas looked steadily into her eyes, which were an indiscernible color at the time, "If I were to leave with Gimli, would you still follow me." It was not a question, more like an open statement.
Liria's eyes darkened, but too many emotions struggled to show a dominant color. "You cannot ask this of me at this point in time."
"Then when would I be able to ask?" Legolas questioned back, "It seems that this topic would never have an appropriate time. Or maybe I speak mistakenly, perhaps we would be able to speak freely of it if Gimli were dead."
Liria took a ragged breath before answering. She had no intentions of lying to Legolas, as he would be able to tell anyway. "It would be easier, yes. It is always easiest to speak of something that you know will never come to pass. As for now, it is a very difficult conversation."
"Difficult because you know not your own heart or because you know not of mine?" Legolas asked calmly. His eyes were dull, and there was no mirth or lightness about him.
"I know my own heart well enough. It is your reaction that I also know of that stills my tongue and makes this difficult." Liria spoke softly, her eyes locked on Legolas'. Neither looked away from each other. She could see the pain in his eyes grow at her last statement.
"Then you do not know my heart if you think only of my reaction. Of course if you were to say no, I would be grieved and upset. But that is not what concerns you, you feel that it would drive us apart, that this meeting contains final words. If you knew my heart, you would know that no matter what is said at this point, it is not final. I do not desert the ones I love easily and in one conversation." Legolas finished speaking and finally looked away from Liria, beyond her towards the heavens.
Liria knew she had spoken wrongly. Of course she knew Legolas to be very loyal to those he loved. What she could not see was the level of love in him for Gimli. Since Gimli was not high in her own esteem, it was not fathomable for her to see him high in another's. She could not understand why Legolas would be so eager to leave with Gimli, and why it mattered so much. As soon as the dwarf left, their lives would become that much easier.
Liria tried to phrase her feelings into a question that would not cause more pain to Legolas, "Why is it so essential that you follow that dwarf anywhere? Could we not be happy here, together?"
Legolas continued to look past her. "I am no longer needed here. I do not wish to stay. I will depart, and if I must, I might as well go with my own friend so that we may finish our adventures together. He feels abandoned, and it tears me for him to feel so."
"And what of what I feel?" asked Liria, anger and feelings of betrayal starting to rise within her. "I am to remain here alone and discarded? I will follow you anywhere, I have already stated this. All I ask is that I do not have to tarry behind a dwarf the whole way." Liria's voice cracked and her eyes started to show a color. They were becoming a deep blue, full of grief.
Legolas finally looked her in the eye again, "And all that I ask is to accompany Gimli. He cannot leave here thinking that our friendship means nothing. This is surely a task smaller than wandering to the corners of the earth."
"Not to me," Liria cut Legolas off, "To me it would seem easier to pass into the Havens by swimming the entire way. I cannot abide the company of one who hates me with passion equal to my own."
Legolas could think of nothing more to say. He simply closed his eyes and turned slowly. He began to walk away. "Legolas," Liria called after him, then louder, "Legolas!" His steps did not slow, he did not even turn. The only sign he gave was his shoulders bending even more and his step becoming ever heavier. He did not even look like an elf anymore, so heavy did his weight carry.
Liria watched him through blurred vision. She was not one to cry, especially out in the open, so she tried in vain to check herself. But the tears spilled unbidden anyway. She was convinced that she had just lost her love. Liria angrily dashed the tears away, and her eyes were wreathed with red. There was a new thought in her head now, the dwarf. It was all because of the dwarf that she and Legolas had argued, and now it was the dwarf who caused Legolas to withdraw from her. Liria turned and stalked angrily into the forest. The only way she could deal with her grief was to replace it with anger. And she did just that, unsheathing her long elvish knife and hurling it at a tree far from her. It struck with such force the small tree swayed. Liria was sorry she had hurt a thing in the forest, but it did little to divert the deadly concentration of her thoughts. She caught up to her knife and ripped it out of the tree without so much as a word of explanation or apology to the defenseless sapling.
When Liria finally reached a clearing in the wood, she stopped in the center of it. She planted her knife deep into the ground, and then threw her head up to the open sky and let out a terrible cry. It was full of grief and futile rage at the same time. The creatures of the wood who heard it stopped all activity and froze in fear. They ran farthest from the cry before resuming with their activities.
When Liria's cry ended, she collapsed to the ground and sat with her arms wrapped around her drawn up knees. She wanted to cry, perhaps she needed to cry, but she would not allow herself to and instead focused thoughts on fixing the problem at hand. But what could she possibly do? There was nothing to be done, short of killing the dwarf, and then Legolas would never forgive her. She had to get rid of the dwarf and then get Legolas' affections back, but how? Liria finally gave up her inner struggle and she cried softly in the abandoned glade.