DISCLAIMER: I don't own Trigun. I wish I did though. Then I wouldn't have
to keep putting these disclaimers up here. ^_^
~Okay guys. Thanks for sticking with me up till now. Your reviews have meant a lot to me. ^_^. Now, this is where the Out Of Character-ness starts. Let me know if I go to far with the OOC. If I do, I'll try to revise this chapter somehow. ^_^ On with the fic!
Chapter Eleven: Depression
Millie woke up, staring at an unfamiliar white ceiling. She tried to sit up, but a strong arm held her down. She looked to see the familiar man in a chair beside her.
"Knives~san?"
"You have to stay still. That human did more damage than was first thought."
"What did you do to him? Oh Knives~san! You didn't kill him did you?" A strange look came over Knives' face as he stared down on her.
"He deserved to. Why don't you want him dead, after what he did to you?"
"No one deserves to be killed, Knives~san. No matter what the reason. Their due punishment will come eventually."
"You're too kind," Knives said, turning away from her.
"Besides, I'm fine. Just some soreness and a bruise or two, but I'm fine otherwise."
"Millie, you have a broken rib."
"Well, it is quite painful, but it'll mend." Millie said, giving one of her trademark smiles.
"That's not all. You also…lost one," Knives explained, his once cold eyes holding something else. Something akin to…sadness?
"Lost one? One what? A rib? How do you lose a rib?" Millie asked, obviously confused.
"You mean you didn't know? SHIT! Why do I have to be the one to tell you?" Knives cried, leaping out of his seat and pacing angrily around the room.
"Didn't know what, Knives~san? Please don't be angry and talk to me."
He stopped pacing and looked back at her. Her eyes were pleading and she looked so confused that Knives sat back down and tried to think of a way to explain the current situation to her. Millie waited patiently for him to speak, though it was a good ten minutes before he was ready.
He had tried to think of the most painless way to break it to her. But once he thought about it, why bother? Why not make it painful? It was a painful concept to begin with and besides, maybe if he put it the wrong way, it would crush her to some extent, making her less trusting. No. Knives mentally shook the thought away. She was the only human who gave a damn about him. Not that he cared all that much, but something about that and the innocence in her eyes stopped him from crushing her completely.
"Do you remember, before my brother and your senpai left, how you would get sick every now and then?" At Millie's nod, Knives propped his elbows on his knees, buried his head in his hands, and continued.
"It seems that they have found the cause."
"Really? That's great. I hope they have a cure. But I don't see how that has anything to do with what happened at work," Millie said.
"I'm getting there," Knives said, finally looking up at her.
"Millie, the doctors told me what it was. You know what morning sickness is, right?" She nodded hesitantly.
"Isn't that when you get sick because you're going to have a baby?" Knives nodded back at her.
"That's what the Humans said was wrong with you."
Millie's eyes widened as her hands slowly covered her mouth in shock. She looked down at her stomach, then back up at Knives.
"Bokushi~san," Millie said softly. A small smile played on her lips. She was so happy, happier than any physical expression could show. Knives saw this and frowned deeper.
"I know that might be a big joyous thing for you humans, but there's more that the doctors told me." Millie looked Knives square in the eye, her smile growing. That made what Knives had to say even harder.
"Apparently, you had twins in there. But when that bastard hit you, you landed wrong, I guess. Anyways, whatever happened, you lost one."
Millie's smile slowly began to fade as she stared down at the hospital sheets. He saw her struggling to control herself, A few seconds later she turned to him, a sad smile on her lips.
"But there's still one in there, right?" She asked hopefully.
"According to the doctors," Knives answered. Millie nodded and looked at her hands, which were folded in her lap. She sat silently for a few minutes then turned to Knives, her eyes glazed with tears.
"I want to go home now," she said, her voice shaking. Knives nodded and left the room to find the doctor. Millie dressed while he was gone and had just put her shoes on when he walked in.
"Let's go," he said. Millie hopped off the bed and followed him out. She noticed, as they were walking out, that the nurses and doctors were staring at Knives like he was insane. She wondered just how big a scene he had made to get her out of there.
Once they got to the house, Millie got back into her usual routine of cooking and cleaning. "To keep her mind off things" she had told Knives. He remained silent and just watched her go about her duties.
On the way home, Knives had explained that she had been lying in the hospital, unconscious, for 1 ½ days. According to him, the doctors had come in and taken out the deceased baby. While in there, they had checked on the other one. It seemed fine, though it was too early to tell for sure. Millie had listened silently, staring out the window the entire time.
Watching her now put Knives in a state of wonderment. She was stronger than any human he'd ever known. Most humans would have gone into a deep fit of depression. But not her. She was trying to be optimistic about it. It amazed him, but at the same time, it drove him nuts.
Dinner that night was awkward. The food was good and Knives dug in, but Millie could only sit and pick at her spaghetti.
Without warning, she burst into tears. She buried her head in her hands and turned sideways at the table, away from Knives. He put his fork down and watched silently, unsure of what to do and wondering if he should do anything at all.
"Um…Millie?" He reached over the table and touched her shoulder. She began crying harder and ran from the table. He watched as she ran down the hallway, towards her room. Right before she made it, she tripped. Too distressed to try and catch herself, she fell flat on her face. Knives jumped up and ran down the hallway to her side. She had curled up in a ball and was sobbing her hardest.
"Stop crying. Hey! Millie, stop!" Knives said, putting his hands on her shoulders and trying to comfort her. She refused to stop crying, but allowed Knives to sit her up. She sat against the wall sobbing, her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms crossed on her knees, her head leaning back against the wall. The tears were still pouring down her face, blurring her vision. But even with her impaired vision, Millie could make out the figure of Knives sitting beside her. She sniffed and managed to stop crying enough to talk to him.
"I can't go on. I just can't do it anymore." Tears still streamed down her cheeks and her eyes burned something kinda bad. She turned and gave knives the saddest smile he'd ever seen. And he didn't like the feeling in his chest that he got, seeing Millie like this.
"I don't wanna live anymore."
"Don't talk like that!" Knives found himself giving her shoulders a good shake. He was angry, not at her, but with her comment.
"Why? What's the use? What else is there to live for?" Millie screamed, forcing her face into Knives'. The tears dripped from her face and landed on the floor. Knives narrowed his eyes at her as she continued.
"The only man I've ever loved is dead, one of the only things I have left of him is dead, my best friends are 100 iles away. Tell me, what more is there for me? Why should I go on?" Her words began to mingle with her sobs, making it hard to understand her.
Her eyes widened when Knives put a hand gently on her belly.
"That's why," he said gently. "You still have to live for the one that's in there; the one that's still alive. You still have a part of that man with you. Give that one a chance. Maybe you've had a hard time, but now comes the good."
Millie blinked up at him. Neither one of them had known that such sentinmental words could come from Knives.
"Oh Knives~san!" Millie cried. She threw her arms around the man and wept on his shoulder. Cursing his emotions, Knives put one arm around her shoulders while the other remained on her belly. Her body shook with sobs and he felt her tears soaking through his clothing and touching his skin. Her tears, they felt…sad. Sadness like he'd never known. He squeezed his eyes shut and with both hands, he held the big girl close, letting her cry as much as she needed.
~Okay you guys, whatchya think? Did I make Knives too …I dunno…SWEET? Speaking of which, there IS a plot to this! Really there is! It's not just pointless fluff. Chapter 12 coming up soon! Stay tuned…or…whatever…
~Okay guys. Thanks for sticking with me up till now. Your reviews have meant a lot to me. ^_^. Now, this is where the Out Of Character-ness starts. Let me know if I go to far with the OOC. If I do, I'll try to revise this chapter somehow. ^_^ On with the fic!
Chapter Eleven: Depression
Millie woke up, staring at an unfamiliar white ceiling. She tried to sit up, but a strong arm held her down. She looked to see the familiar man in a chair beside her.
"Knives~san?"
"You have to stay still. That human did more damage than was first thought."
"What did you do to him? Oh Knives~san! You didn't kill him did you?" A strange look came over Knives' face as he stared down on her.
"He deserved to. Why don't you want him dead, after what he did to you?"
"No one deserves to be killed, Knives~san. No matter what the reason. Their due punishment will come eventually."
"You're too kind," Knives said, turning away from her.
"Besides, I'm fine. Just some soreness and a bruise or two, but I'm fine otherwise."
"Millie, you have a broken rib."
"Well, it is quite painful, but it'll mend." Millie said, giving one of her trademark smiles.
"That's not all. You also…lost one," Knives explained, his once cold eyes holding something else. Something akin to…sadness?
"Lost one? One what? A rib? How do you lose a rib?" Millie asked, obviously confused.
"You mean you didn't know? SHIT! Why do I have to be the one to tell you?" Knives cried, leaping out of his seat and pacing angrily around the room.
"Didn't know what, Knives~san? Please don't be angry and talk to me."
He stopped pacing and looked back at her. Her eyes were pleading and she looked so confused that Knives sat back down and tried to think of a way to explain the current situation to her. Millie waited patiently for him to speak, though it was a good ten minutes before he was ready.
He had tried to think of the most painless way to break it to her. But once he thought about it, why bother? Why not make it painful? It was a painful concept to begin with and besides, maybe if he put it the wrong way, it would crush her to some extent, making her less trusting. No. Knives mentally shook the thought away. She was the only human who gave a damn about him. Not that he cared all that much, but something about that and the innocence in her eyes stopped him from crushing her completely.
"Do you remember, before my brother and your senpai left, how you would get sick every now and then?" At Millie's nod, Knives propped his elbows on his knees, buried his head in his hands, and continued.
"It seems that they have found the cause."
"Really? That's great. I hope they have a cure. But I don't see how that has anything to do with what happened at work," Millie said.
"I'm getting there," Knives said, finally looking up at her.
"Millie, the doctors told me what it was. You know what morning sickness is, right?" She nodded hesitantly.
"Isn't that when you get sick because you're going to have a baby?" Knives nodded back at her.
"That's what the Humans said was wrong with you."
Millie's eyes widened as her hands slowly covered her mouth in shock. She looked down at her stomach, then back up at Knives.
"Bokushi~san," Millie said softly. A small smile played on her lips. She was so happy, happier than any physical expression could show. Knives saw this and frowned deeper.
"I know that might be a big joyous thing for you humans, but there's more that the doctors told me." Millie looked Knives square in the eye, her smile growing. That made what Knives had to say even harder.
"Apparently, you had twins in there. But when that bastard hit you, you landed wrong, I guess. Anyways, whatever happened, you lost one."
Millie's smile slowly began to fade as she stared down at the hospital sheets. He saw her struggling to control herself, A few seconds later she turned to him, a sad smile on her lips.
"But there's still one in there, right?" She asked hopefully.
"According to the doctors," Knives answered. Millie nodded and looked at her hands, which were folded in her lap. She sat silently for a few minutes then turned to Knives, her eyes glazed with tears.
"I want to go home now," she said, her voice shaking. Knives nodded and left the room to find the doctor. Millie dressed while he was gone and had just put her shoes on when he walked in.
"Let's go," he said. Millie hopped off the bed and followed him out. She noticed, as they were walking out, that the nurses and doctors were staring at Knives like he was insane. She wondered just how big a scene he had made to get her out of there.
Once they got to the house, Millie got back into her usual routine of cooking and cleaning. "To keep her mind off things" she had told Knives. He remained silent and just watched her go about her duties.
On the way home, Knives had explained that she had been lying in the hospital, unconscious, for 1 ½ days. According to him, the doctors had come in and taken out the deceased baby. While in there, they had checked on the other one. It seemed fine, though it was too early to tell for sure. Millie had listened silently, staring out the window the entire time.
Watching her now put Knives in a state of wonderment. She was stronger than any human he'd ever known. Most humans would have gone into a deep fit of depression. But not her. She was trying to be optimistic about it. It amazed him, but at the same time, it drove him nuts.
Dinner that night was awkward. The food was good and Knives dug in, but Millie could only sit and pick at her spaghetti.
Without warning, she burst into tears. She buried her head in her hands and turned sideways at the table, away from Knives. He put his fork down and watched silently, unsure of what to do and wondering if he should do anything at all.
"Um…Millie?" He reached over the table and touched her shoulder. She began crying harder and ran from the table. He watched as she ran down the hallway, towards her room. Right before she made it, she tripped. Too distressed to try and catch herself, she fell flat on her face. Knives jumped up and ran down the hallway to her side. She had curled up in a ball and was sobbing her hardest.
"Stop crying. Hey! Millie, stop!" Knives said, putting his hands on her shoulders and trying to comfort her. She refused to stop crying, but allowed Knives to sit her up. She sat against the wall sobbing, her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms crossed on her knees, her head leaning back against the wall. The tears were still pouring down her face, blurring her vision. But even with her impaired vision, Millie could make out the figure of Knives sitting beside her. She sniffed and managed to stop crying enough to talk to him.
"I can't go on. I just can't do it anymore." Tears still streamed down her cheeks and her eyes burned something kinda bad. She turned and gave knives the saddest smile he'd ever seen. And he didn't like the feeling in his chest that he got, seeing Millie like this.
"I don't wanna live anymore."
"Don't talk like that!" Knives found himself giving her shoulders a good shake. He was angry, not at her, but with her comment.
"Why? What's the use? What else is there to live for?" Millie screamed, forcing her face into Knives'. The tears dripped from her face and landed on the floor. Knives narrowed his eyes at her as she continued.
"The only man I've ever loved is dead, one of the only things I have left of him is dead, my best friends are 100 iles away. Tell me, what more is there for me? Why should I go on?" Her words began to mingle with her sobs, making it hard to understand her.
Her eyes widened when Knives put a hand gently on her belly.
"That's why," he said gently. "You still have to live for the one that's in there; the one that's still alive. You still have a part of that man with you. Give that one a chance. Maybe you've had a hard time, but now comes the good."
Millie blinked up at him. Neither one of them had known that such sentinmental words could come from Knives.
"Oh Knives~san!" Millie cried. She threw her arms around the man and wept on his shoulder. Cursing his emotions, Knives put one arm around her shoulders while the other remained on her belly. Her body shook with sobs and he felt her tears soaking through his clothing and touching his skin. Her tears, they felt…sad. Sadness like he'd never known. He squeezed his eyes shut and with both hands, he held the big girl close, letting her cry as much as she needed.
~Okay you guys, whatchya think? Did I make Knives too …I dunno…SWEET? Speaking of which, there IS a plot to this! Really there is! It's not just pointless fluff. Chapter 12 coming up soon! Stay tuned…or…whatever…