Okay, I know the last chapter was sappy, but his one needs to be slightly depressing. But I still hope you find this one amusing, it's got a few little cracks.

I can't believe you people think I'm funny…in person, my friends only laugh when I'm NOT trying to be funny…

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"No! Please don't do it! I didn't mean to! Honest! Please don't hurt me!" Pegasus only sighed and sipped his wine as an annoying, screechy voice begged him for mercy.

"Do you know how much trouble you've caused me?" the king asked his magical Mirror. As the Mirror began to whimper his apologies, the man rolled his eyes. How pitiful…

"Fine then, I won't hit you with a mallet." He spat at the now very relieved Mirror. "But," he began, the Mirror's face fell. "You will not insult me again. Or else, I will be ordering in a new Mirror." He chugged the rest of the glasses contents and placed the empty wine glass on his dresser. He stood up, and wobbled slightly. 'Hmm…Maybe that fourth glass was a little much.' He stumbled over to the Mirror and slapped at the panel on top. Missed. Tried again. Missed again. Tried again…

"Ow! You said you wouldn't hurt me!" the Mirror whined.

"I said I wouldn't hit you with my new mallet." Pegasus said slowly, as if it were the hardest thing to string words together to form sentences. "I said nothing about…er…about…oh, shut up." The mirror looked perplexed at his master's condition.

"Now, what was I doing?" Pegasus slurred out. "Oh yes…Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who the most adorkable us all? Tee hee hee…I said adorkable"

The mirror looked uncertain but answered,

"Cuter still is Yugi dear,

Now please don't hurt me,

For it's you I fear."

Pegasus looked thoughtful, or maybe it was just gas. It was the first one, thankfully.

"That little brat just won't die. It's time for the secret weapon." He reached for the panel and this time he hit it. The door slid up and he strode arrogantly down the stairs…for maybe the first two steps. He tripped and fell head first, managing to curse more clearly than he had been able to talk. He landed in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. He groaned and pushed himself up, leaning against the wall. He shook his head, hard, and seemed to gain back his motor skills. He then walked towards the alter that carried his book on it. Stroking the eye on the cover, he flipped it open to one of the last spells, 'The Poison Apple', and cackled loudly.

~*~*~*~At the Cottage~*~*~*~

"NO SOLICITORS, OR ELSE, I WILL DIG UP YOUR LIFELESS BODY AND KILL IT AGAIN!" Anzu could be a very scary girl at times. Yugi was, in fact, terrified of her when she had that look on her face, and the others dared not oppose her at a time like this.

"Okay, Yugi, see you tonight!" she waved cheerfully and went out the door. The others followed, at a safe distance. Bakura was last out and winked, eyeing Yugi's necklace. 'Don't take it off.' he seemed to be warning. Yugi smiled assuredly and waved them off. He could already see Mokuba whacking Jou over the head with his shovel.

Chuckling, Yugi stepped back into the house and yawned. 'Napping is a good thing…' he thought. He hurriedly washed up the dishes and headed over to the blank wall and the rectangular hole in it about 8 feet up. They had yet to fix the stairs. They had all slept on the roof last night, so he had no idea how he was going to get up to the room, considering he was still shorter than average. 'Guess it's the couch for me.'

He lay himself down on a couch and almost immediately fell into his dreams. It was a great dream; there was a mysterious person in it, someone he felt close to, but he was sure he had never seen the person before. He was smiling as the person held him close and whispered something into Yugi's ear. But he couldn't hear what the person was saying, and he couldn't see their face; it was hidden in the shadows. Then, they both leaned their faces in; their lips were almost touching. And then…

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! Yugi's body shot up and he whipped his head around. 'It was a dream.'

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! Yugi suddenly grew very angry. Whoever this visitor was had disturbed his wonderful dream. 'If it's another solicitor…' Yugi's head filled with wonderful things to do to them.

Throwing on his most disgusted expression, he stomped his way over to the door and flipped open the little panel that Anzu had forced Seto to install. He saw a shadowy figure standing on the step, which was strange considering it was sunny outside. Yugi tried to growl like a lion, to maybe scare the person away, but ended up sounding more like a wounded kitten. Not surprisingly, Yugi's self-esteem went down a notch or two.

"Yeah?" he asked the individual, dejectedly.

"Hello!" the person was amazingly peppy. "I'm selling fruit. Would you like some?"

"No." Yugi replied breezily, still hurt by the insult to his manly-hood, and pretty sure of the fact that this guy was fruitier than his, …well, fruit.

"Are you sure? I have red-delicious apples!"

"Are they red?"

"Yes, that's part of their name."

"Are they delicious?'

"Not sure, but I would assume so."

"But, until you try them yourself, shouldn't you refrain from calling them red-delicious apples? I mean, as far as you know, they're only red." Yugi reasoned.

"A merchant shouldn't try their own goods."

"Then how are they sure that they're good enough to sell?"

"Do you want one or not?" Pegasus…I mean the apple salesman said, agitated.

"Not really."

"So you always waste the time of hard-working merchants like this?"

"Only ones as ugly as you." Yugi smiled sweetly, though the man could only see part of the smile.

"You can't even see my face!" the apple guy screeched, nervously adjusting the hood of his cloak.

"But, you're covering it up, so I have to deduce that you have something to hide." Yugi once again reasoned.

"I have nothing to hide!"

"Then show me your face."

"I don't want to."

"Well, then I can't trust you. How am I supposed to buy apples from you then?"

"I thought you weren't going to take one."

"I'm not."

Frustrated, Mr. Apple left the doorstep, cursing into the woods. Yugi smiled. 'First one this week I got rid of without getting killed.' He smiled. 'Good, because I was beginning to think I lost my touch.' He was still smiling as he lay back down on the couch and closed his eyes. 'Now to get back to that dream.'

CRASH! Yugi yelped when the window next to him burst in a shower a glass. Something hard had gone through it, and the object hit him hard in the temple. He caught it after it bonked him 'An apple?' he looked out the window and saw the tail of a black cloak disappear behind the trees.

"Dumb old geezer! He's breaking people's windows so he can get rid of some stupid apples." he mumbled, knowing that the guy wasn't all that old. His thoughts groaned as he surveyed the mess surrounding him. 'Now, I have to clean up.' He got up and dusted the shards of broken glass off of himself. He looked at the apple he caught. 'This apple is perfect…maybe too perfect.' He looked it over and shook his head.

"You're getting paranoid, Yugi. It's not like it's poisonous. Maybe mealy, but not poisonous." he said to himself. He bit into it. 'Hmm…not bad, not bad at all.' He was about to take another bite when he felt so sick it was like his insides were being ripped out. He dropped the apple and it rolled under the couch. His vision began to spin and he fell to his knees and collapsed to the ground. And underneath him, his pyramid glowed, and did not save him.

~*~*~*~Hours Later~*~*~*~

"Ugh, if I have to look at them kiss again, I'm gonna be sick." Honda moaned. Jou and Mai were at it again. Those two had barely worked all day. The others rolled their eyes and kept on walking.

"Y'know, Anzu, maybe they have the right idea…" Seto's eyes walked her figure. She slapped him hard.

"Don't even think about it."

"It was worth a try." He shrugged.

"No, it really wasn't." Anzu advised. As they neared the cottage, the same thought ran through all of their heads, 'Is Yugi conscious?' They all picked up the pace, and when they threw open the door, they were barely surprised. Mai and Anzu kneeled next to him to check for anything new that he was wearing, but found nothing. They started to panic again and rummaged his entire body.

"What are we gonna do? He's not wearing anything that'll hurt him!" Mai cried out. They all began to search him.

"Nothing." Seto said. "We may need to take his clothes off."

"You're a little too eager there." Bakura frowned. Seto gave him a look, but said nothing. Anzu once again began barking orders. They attempted the water, and they even tried the slapping again.

"Do you enjoy that or something, Mai?"

But it was no use. They carried on into the night and by the time the sun rose, Jou, Honda, Seto, and Mokuba had all gone to sleep. Mai was sitting on Yugi's chest, barely slapping his face, as if she was on automatic. Anzu's eyes were teary and bloodshot, she was sobbing into one of his hands. Bakura was sitting in the corner, dumbfounded, and muttering to himself, "But he's wearing the necklace, he's wearing it…"

But the last of them gave up; they knew he was dead. They walked solemnly out to the woods to collect material for his coffin, which would have a glass top. They couldn't bear to think of not being able to see his adorable face everyday…

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One more chapter to go…