Touched forever
At the mountain of Reikaku. Mt. Reikaku…
It's where I first saw a girl like you… a girl wearing a weird, russet dress. With two red ribbons on both sides that I commented, looks like big cups of siomai.
It's where I ventured to have my revenge and caught myself come across you…
It's where I had grown up and learned how to become a bitter and a fierce-hearted bandit with no comprehension about anything expect sake and leisures and also it is where someone taught me how to know life and made me amend. That girl who I didn't even think would cause so many changes in my life just at that innermost top of Mt. Reikaku, to where I was to burn all the palace Iking stole from me and took her as my prize to get the good stuff, but I never imagined that taking her was taking in something that marked the beginning of my life…
It's where I vowed myself upon the graves of my mother and sisters to hate women from that day on, from that day when they all left me, I said, wait for me, I shouted at them but they said, "you have to go on Gen-Chan, you still have to find her…" I wanted wings you know! To catch up with the only persons I considered my family, my own, real family that I never got the chance to show how much I care. I was a lousy fellow who doesn't know anything about concern and even affection. What the hell are they talking about huh?! Find who?! Damn it! But now…I finally know…and I'm glad it happened…I'm glad that I found you…
It had marked my soul since that day where and when I stepped down to that place and it made my heart froze with something I don't know. When I saw you, I was hiding this thing inside of me, damn it! What am I feeling?! I drifted it off as I suspected, I was never so good about such things I hated like attraction…and the form of attraction to this word called love…love was just another silly crap that causes trouble and nothing more, but that was before… when I saw your face, you showed me what love really is and how to fully understand it. And now, I just can't repeat the same thing again. I don't want to, I don't want to make the same mistake as what I did before, not letting the person know how much I care for him / her, not just now, no, not just to her. She means something to me…I mean, she is important, I didn't understand why I changed, I used to hate every single girl before you know… burning my soul was what resulted when I tried pretending and hiding the other side of me every time she talks, or how my face would get warm and red when she looks at me, trying so hard to not let her know how much I care for her…not letting her know what she is in my life… and how my emotions welled up when I was with her. I was so naïve to notice but then when I look at her, again, the same voice always whispers out and it told me, now I know…I like her…a lot…ow? Just that? I don't want to let any day to pass without seeing her delicate face; I don't want to let another day to pass again with a cold and insensitive face. But how could I tell her? How could I just?… now that she had convinced herself that I'm just another ordinary, foul-mouthed bandit who doesn't know anything but teasing all day, how could I just tell her knowing I should just be a protector, a server below her feet and nothing more, how could I just tell her if she loves someone else?…It's a piece of hell! No, it's hell! It's difficult you know…but her highly-spirited jade-auburn pools told me that everything is okay. Funny how she makes me forget every problem I have just by smiling at me and then everything is okay. How can she do that? Of course! She can do that not because she's our priestess but it just happen to be that I had kidnapped a goddess…a goddess yes…a goddess that can't even cook but can make every single person love her like as if she's…she's perfect.
You are so childish! You still like water lilies at Hotohori's pool which you noted, "secret garden" I don't know why you called it a garden when all I can see is your reflection, an image of a girl renowned as our priestess from another dimension destined to bring forth to our world the gift of the Susaku, but for me, you are the girl I, we are destined to protect and…love…
fresh, clean water forbidden from everyone to touch well, of course except you…we all know how Hotohori took over you. And I know he is still, up until now, hooked by you…I don't blame him. I know why without knowing how. Actually the fact that lies in here is that, any person who would know you would surely fall for you…that's for sure.
A little curve, a curve I haven't done for more than 5 years, those five, long, heart-frozen years I stayed all alone venturing in the cold fiery mountain, making myself believe I was the strongest bandit ever! But then I met you…
I smile as you hold your little puffy pink dress and hop as if like a child playing down the bridge. I wish I could…
I lay my back on this Sakura tree, this tall, shadowy-pinked petaled tree, the only one here in Konan watching a figure, a fairy dancing like a ballerina in thin, sweet air and it started to drizzle.
Stk, I told you not to let yourself get wet. I know you won't listen again; you're always like that! Always with your attitude I admire…I…
Little vapors form at the top of the lake and it made little billows float and the sensation was slightly warm and wintry, mixed dew and sunlight like your sweet scent…
Early morning, a wonderful future is pictured in your hands and just by looking at you, I'm sure that the stars would envy you and the rain gets a little harder. Sweet rain falls on you; your long russet loose hair falls down at your little dress, which makes it more beautiful. But no, it makes no difference, you are always beautiful and no matter what happens to you, I know you would always be that, beautiful.
Your bangs sweep your face and dewdrops fall on your pink-fainted cheeks down to your cherry, heart-shaped lips. Hep, it' really odd how fate works for me, but if it was, I'd called it perfect destiny, you know why? Well, let me tell you this…I could just…I could just…shout and say, of all the things I've ever done, finding you seems to be the most important one…hehe…I'm saying these huh?! I can't believe it…
Baka… I told you to go inside now. You tread your weight softly as I watch you tiptoed yourself to the mid water with your little feet and hop again, you're really enjoying rain huh? Playing with the lilies, green-emerald leaves just exactly the same as your gorgeous eyes with floating pink sakura petals all around and now dear rain made your dress absorbed your body, and god, look at you, you haven't change a bit. Your figure is still what I call, heaven. I can't believe I'm watching a goddess playing with the water, playing like a gentle, sweet, innocent child without any worries, with glowing spirited eyes…
Before you came, everything used to come in just one word- pale. It doesn't matter if I wake up or if I eat, all I did back then was to use my fan and burn every annoyance in front me, but… now, you taught me life has to be participated, life is too short and life wants reasons. I fight for a motive, we all fight for one reason, and that reason is you…your slender shape can tell how matured you have grown for the years as your hands swift through and I just can't speak any word for what I'm seeing is greater than any wonderful dream.
You made this plain lake into a fantasyland and I know only you could do that. I know up until the day is thru, from when it's morning the sun rises up to the sky to the end of the sun setting down, I know you would still make all the people here and in there happy just by your little actions. How can I thank Susaku for bringing up such a treasure into our lives? I wasn't worthy enough, not deserving enough to have an honor to be with you and protect you…if by my amend, I would want to protect you as long as the rain falls and never stop even…
You raised your hands up in air and ran, running and stepping still between the boulder and the stones craved in the middle of the poolside.
I wish to wipe those drops in your cheeks…
And Tamahome calls for you and you pick your sunny-pink dress and started to go away, drifting like a feather without my grasp of touch. And you left, leaving me behind…
I know I can't…
I know you can never ever hear me whispering your name and even if I shout, even how much I try to reach you, even if my eyes cry, I can never ever… touch you again… I know you won't feel anything, won't know anything from me saying what my heart has for you…because…
I watch you running sweetly and before you continued to go inside, you looked back at the same direction where I was, behind this sakura tree, your eyes fixed to my place as if you are looking at me and you smiled and it was then I know…you felt me…thank you…thank you for still remembering me…and one tear fell…as you shed one tear too, no… I reach up to ease them but it's too late you're already gone…I breathe and sighed and I know, I know it's my fate…and I accept it. I'm honored, happy that I can still see you, watch you and protect you, still can gently pretend I could kiss you when you angelically sleep with tamahome, still even that now…
It was by the road in Heiku… but I don't regret it, because I know even through my last breath, I saw your precious eyes and I touched the face of the girl I kidnapped one fateful day. I held your soft hands, asking you not to cry. I don't want you to be sad. Don't cry… I don't want to rewind time, because I know even through my final moment, I saw your eyes, your cheeks, touched you for the very last time and I will never regret that day, when I saw you…at Mt. Reikaku… Miaka…wo ai ni…