Jean leaned up against the railing, peering over it into the
Danger room below. Logan was training, they hadn't had to fight recently
and he was worried about loosing his edge. She wanted to reach out her mind
to him and ask him why his eyes seemed so hurt, and why his fists were so
tight. He looked extremely stressed and she wanted just to be able to
console him and make him less tight.
"Are you ready Jean?" Scott asked behind her. She turned reluctantly and nodded. A pang of sadness reaching into her eyes and Scott looked at her with a questioning glance.
"Do you really think we should go? I mean, training doesn't seem like such a bad idea. You never know what the Brother hood is up to Scott."
"Come on Jean, I just want to get away for awhile. You always tell me I need to get out of this house more."
"I just don't think that tonight is the best night for you to become less uptight."
"Well. I am going, so if you want to spend your evening with Logan battling metallic monsters, go for it."
"I will." In her mind she wondered where she got the strength to stand up to him, she never went against anything he said unless it was her opinion, of which she stood by fiercely.
"Fine, but its not something I consider a good time."
"Scott," she said softly and put a loving hand on his shoulder. "I'm just worried, its been so long time since we've been in a fight and I just want to make sure that when the time comes, I'm ready for it."
"Alright, but I really want to see this movie."
"Then go."
"It was a double date Hun, who else will I go with?"
"Go with Ororo, I don't think Remy or Rogue will mind."
He nodded and kissed her lightly on the cheek, "You practice, and I'll be back as soon as possible."
She watched him walk out of the room and jumped over the railing behind her, flying gracefully to the ground in front of Logan as the simulation he was working with ended.
"Mind if I fight with you?"
"Sure red, let me punch in a different sim."
"Give me a few minutes to change." She said and he nodded, she walked to the edge of the stadium-like battle floor and found the hidden door that led to the dressing rooms. The clothes they wore while fighting were better suited for the task then the knee length skirt and halter-top she was currently wearing.
Five minutes later she returned to the danger room and stood in the middle of the room next to Logan, he was poised and ready and nodded at her to start the sequence. She mentally pictured the button on the control panel that would start it and pushed it, the room came to life.
Jean dodged a few flying metal disks - sharp enough to easily take off someone's head - and floated towards the ceiling, tapping into a part of her brain she used often she sent a stream of mental pulses towards the machine that was now aiming the metal disks at Logan. It erupted in sparks and flames and fell towards the floor, hanging loosely to the wall with sparking wires.
"Look out!" Logan screamed and she spun around, flying to her left as quickly as she could as another machine spouted rapid fire at her. The air where she was seconds before sizzled with the heat of it.
Suddenly the room went black and she could hear the hum of the machinery shutting down. "Logan?" she asked, some what frightened.
"Power went out." He grumbled and she settled slowly to the floor.
"Where are you?" she asked softly and wrapped her arms around herself, fearing the dark was one thing she had hopped would go away during her many battles with the x-men, it hadn't.
"Right here." A soft voice said behind her and she could feel his breath on the back of her neck.
"What happened?" she asked and turned around, trying not to get too used to the feel of his body heat emanating next to her.
"I think we over loaded the system."
"We should get out then, when the back up generators come on, we wont be ready for the attack."
"The simulation should stop on its own, but why haven't the generators started already?" he added more to himself then to her.
"I don't know." She felt herself shudder as a lump formed in the back of her throat, Scott never understood her fear of the dark - of shadows closing in and engulfing her. She doubted Logan would either.
"You alright?"
"No." She whispered and felt a tear slide down her cheek. She couldn't help wanting to try and explain her fear to him.
"Come on, let's get out of here, maybe find a candle or something." He gingerly put his arm around her shoulders and led her slowly towards what she figured was the exit. She sighed inwordly, realizing Logan understood on a more primitive level that she was afraid. She felt herself relax and began to feel comfortable beneath his warm arm.
She sensed more then saw the wall loom up in front of her and heard Logan open the door. Soft yellow light from a window across the hall spilled into the danger room and she relief flooded her once they left the Danger room behind and headed into the hallway - towards the basement to check the generators.
Logan's arm didn't leave her shoulder until they were next to the fuse box, she didn't mind it either. Though she felt like she was betraying Scott and refused to let herself get closer to Logan then by a feet or so. Though she felt like wrapping her arms around him and never letting go, he sent wave after wave of security through her entire body. A feeling she enjoyed a lot more then she would've liked. She peered over his shoulder to see that oddly none of the fuses had gone out.
"They all look like they're working to me." She said and felt a chill run down her spine as a loud clap of thunder erupted from outside.
"Must've been the storm." Logan said and she looked out the window. She could see a bolt of lightning flash across the darkened sky. The storm must've started while they were in the Danger room. The large domed room they used to paractice their skills in was almost a mile underground, and naturally, it had no windows. It was common for anyone in the room to loose track of more then just the weather.
They quietly walked back up to the main floor and Logan began rummaging in one of the many drawers in the kitchen for candles. Jean found some matches and they huddled together in the living room in front of the fireplace. After arranging the lighted candles in front of them on the fireplace's mantle, Logan threw another match into the stacked logs.
A blazing inferno blew up the chimney and the heat burned their faces. They settled onto the floor and Jean smiled, relaxing, and let herself sink into the feel of the flames and leaning back into Logan's awaiting embrace.
"Where's Scott tonight Jeanie?" he asked somberly and she settled herself into the cup of his arms.
"Out with Ororo, Remy, and Rogue. We were going to go to the movies but I decided not to go with them."
"Why not?"
"I don't know, I wanted to stay here with you."
"Don't do this to me Jean. It's cruel and not like you." He got up, allowing her to fall back against the floor. She slammed her head and sat, rubbing the sore spot.
"Don't do what? You looked depressed or angry or some mix of the two not that anyone would be able to tell what's wrong with you since you never let anyone close enough for them to know your expressions."
"I tried! You already had someone close to you. Someone I respect and I'm not going to get in the middle of it Jean."
"Logan," she said softly and stood up. He was staring out of the rain soaked window with his arms crossed. "I want to be close to you. It's just that - "
"You have someone else already in that spot in your heart so I took second place. You don't have to apologize red. I understand."
"No, you don't!"
The front door blew open followed by two very wet mutants. Rogue was laughing and she shivered as Remy took her coat and hung it in the foyer next to his own.
"Hey guys." Logan said and the two looked around.
"Where'd da light go?" Remy asked not really caring as he whisked Rogue into his arms for a warm embrace. Jean shivered with cold and jealousy.
"Power went out. Where's the others?"
"Don' know, Scott didn' leave wit us."
"You mean, Scott and Ororo, right?" Jean asked and Remy and Rogue exchanged confused glances.
"No, just Scott sugah, 'Ro didn't come with us." Rogue said in her southern twang.
"But I thought - " Jean let her sentence trail off as Rogue and Remy ran upstairs, their laughter trailing after them. Logan glanced at Jean and cocked his eyebrow.
"I saw Ororo leave earlier with Evan."
"But I told Scott to bring her instead of me." She flinched as she realized Ororo had mentioned the evening she had planned for her and her nephew earlier that week, Scott knew about it too, making her wonder why he was so apt to say yes at bringing her along.
"Maybe he forgot and just went as a third wheel." Logan said trying to comfort her.
"Maybe."
"Jean, he could very well be out there with some girl he just met. Or he could be just having a nice evening to himself. Whatever he's doing it's up to you to decide if you wanna find out what it is, and whether or not you'll be upset."
"I trust Scott."
"Then why are you shaking?"
"Fuck you Logan! I trust Scott, I love him!"
"Fuck me?"
Jean glanced at Logan - whose mouth was spread in a very large smile - and laughed. "I'm sorry."
"Why?"
"I am worried about what he's up to, but I'm not going to sneak around behind his back snooping on him."
"Then don't snoop."
"What do you want me to do then?"
"Honestly?"
"Yes."
"Kiss me. Or let me kiss you. The fire light's doing something to my hormones."
"Are you serious?"
"Yup."
"You know I can't do that Logan."
"No. You can. But you shouldn't. I mean, what kind of girlfriend would you be if you kissed another guy while your boyfriend is out…somewhere." He let his sentence trail off and Jean scowled.
"You're manipulating me Logan."
"Yes I am. So what are you going to do about it?"
"I'm not sure." She whispered, without knowing it the two were suddenly standing closer together then they had started out. She shivered at the feel of his breath on her neck and tried to stop her eyes from staring directly into his own.
"We shouldn't." Logan said softly and she tried to nod in agreement, her neck stiff from either looking up at him or from anticipation.
"I do love you Logan." She managed to say before the front door flung open yet again. They blinked and stepped away from each other as Scott stumbled into the foyer.
"What's up with the lights?" he asked, slightly slurred words coming out of his mouth.
"You're drunk." Jean said after a few fast beats of her heart. If he had walked in seconds later, she snapped off the train of thought.
"No sir!" Scott yelled and walked quickly up the stairs - too quickly for his current state and he tumbled back down them. Logan chuckled and Jean shot him an angry glare. He walked over to their fallen comrade and picked him up.
"I'll bring him to his room." He said and Jean nodded.
"Come back down after he's settled." She whispered without knowing why. Logan nodded and hurried up the stairs, Scott flailing an arm behind him.
Jean collapsed on the couch and held her head in her hands. Not exactly sure what she wanted to do or say to Logan, but knowing she couldn't end this night without figuring out where they stood.
She sighed and started into the still burning fire and tried to relax. All she had to do was tell Logan that she was wrong and that she loved Scott. But even the thought of the words was difficult and she realized that maybe that in it self was a lie.
"What's going on Jeanie?" she heard Logan ask gruffly behind her.
"I'm not sure Logan. I just know that tonight was the most confusing night of my life."
"Tell me what you're thinking then, let's try to figure it out together."
"I don't know. I just know that my feelings are changing."
"Towards me or Scott?"
She sighed again as Logan sat next to her, casually putting his arm around the back of the couch. "Both."
"Well let's start with how you feel about Scott."
"Logan, I don't know what to do. I love Scott, or at least I think I do but he's just so hard to deal with. And it's like he doesn't even try to understand me or what goes on in my head."
"And,"
"And, You do."
"I think you need to sleep on this. I'm not in any real rush to be a serious part of your life, I've waited this long I can wait a few more hours."
"I don't want to sleep on it. I want to be compulsive for once, I want to be rash and do something on impulse."
"What's your impulse telling you to do?"
She grabbed his face with both of her hands and pulled him close enough to her so that their lips were brushing. She smiled inwardly at the look of shock on his face. Knowing if she went through with this simple motion her entire world would fall apart. But she was no longer afraid. The fire that had kept the darkness at bay had diminished and now Logan stood between her and the shadows. She wasn't afraid to look beyond his dark eyes to see the shadows creeping towards her. His love kept them away. And she wanted to help.
She knew her world would fall apart but she also knew that he would help her peice it back together again, making it stronger. And in that instance when there lips met and they were wrapped in a kiss that would bind them for a life time, she knew she was in love with the man that was cradling her in his strong arms.
"Are you ready Jean?" Scott asked behind her. She turned reluctantly and nodded. A pang of sadness reaching into her eyes and Scott looked at her with a questioning glance.
"Do you really think we should go? I mean, training doesn't seem like such a bad idea. You never know what the Brother hood is up to Scott."
"Come on Jean, I just want to get away for awhile. You always tell me I need to get out of this house more."
"I just don't think that tonight is the best night for you to become less uptight."
"Well. I am going, so if you want to spend your evening with Logan battling metallic monsters, go for it."
"I will." In her mind she wondered where she got the strength to stand up to him, she never went against anything he said unless it was her opinion, of which she stood by fiercely.
"Fine, but its not something I consider a good time."
"Scott," she said softly and put a loving hand on his shoulder. "I'm just worried, its been so long time since we've been in a fight and I just want to make sure that when the time comes, I'm ready for it."
"Alright, but I really want to see this movie."
"Then go."
"It was a double date Hun, who else will I go with?"
"Go with Ororo, I don't think Remy or Rogue will mind."
He nodded and kissed her lightly on the cheek, "You practice, and I'll be back as soon as possible."
She watched him walk out of the room and jumped over the railing behind her, flying gracefully to the ground in front of Logan as the simulation he was working with ended.
"Mind if I fight with you?"
"Sure red, let me punch in a different sim."
"Give me a few minutes to change." She said and he nodded, she walked to the edge of the stadium-like battle floor and found the hidden door that led to the dressing rooms. The clothes they wore while fighting were better suited for the task then the knee length skirt and halter-top she was currently wearing.
Five minutes later she returned to the danger room and stood in the middle of the room next to Logan, he was poised and ready and nodded at her to start the sequence. She mentally pictured the button on the control panel that would start it and pushed it, the room came to life.
Jean dodged a few flying metal disks - sharp enough to easily take off someone's head - and floated towards the ceiling, tapping into a part of her brain she used often she sent a stream of mental pulses towards the machine that was now aiming the metal disks at Logan. It erupted in sparks and flames and fell towards the floor, hanging loosely to the wall with sparking wires.
"Look out!" Logan screamed and she spun around, flying to her left as quickly as she could as another machine spouted rapid fire at her. The air where she was seconds before sizzled with the heat of it.
Suddenly the room went black and she could hear the hum of the machinery shutting down. "Logan?" she asked, some what frightened.
"Power went out." He grumbled and she settled slowly to the floor.
"Where are you?" she asked softly and wrapped her arms around herself, fearing the dark was one thing she had hopped would go away during her many battles with the x-men, it hadn't.
"Right here." A soft voice said behind her and she could feel his breath on the back of her neck.
"What happened?" she asked and turned around, trying not to get too used to the feel of his body heat emanating next to her.
"I think we over loaded the system."
"We should get out then, when the back up generators come on, we wont be ready for the attack."
"The simulation should stop on its own, but why haven't the generators started already?" he added more to himself then to her.
"I don't know." She felt herself shudder as a lump formed in the back of her throat, Scott never understood her fear of the dark - of shadows closing in and engulfing her. She doubted Logan would either.
"You alright?"
"No." She whispered and felt a tear slide down her cheek. She couldn't help wanting to try and explain her fear to him.
"Come on, let's get out of here, maybe find a candle or something." He gingerly put his arm around her shoulders and led her slowly towards what she figured was the exit. She sighed inwordly, realizing Logan understood on a more primitive level that she was afraid. She felt herself relax and began to feel comfortable beneath his warm arm.
She sensed more then saw the wall loom up in front of her and heard Logan open the door. Soft yellow light from a window across the hall spilled into the danger room and she relief flooded her once they left the Danger room behind and headed into the hallway - towards the basement to check the generators.
Logan's arm didn't leave her shoulder until they were next to the fuse box, she didn't mind it either. Though she felt like she was betraying Scott and refused to let herself get closer to Logan then by a feet or so. Though she felt like wrapping her arms around him and never letting go, he sent wave after wave of security through her entire body. A feeling she enjoyed a lot more then she would've liked. She peered over his shoulder to see that oddly none of the fuses had gone out.
"They all look like they're working to me." She said and felt a chill run down her spine as a loud clap of thunder erupted from outside.
"Must've been the storm." Logan said and she looked out the window. She could see a bolt of lightning flash across the darkened sky. The storm must've started while they were in the Danger room. The large domed room they used to paractice their skills in was almost a mile underground, and naturally, it had no windows. It was common for anyone in the room to loose track of more then just the weather.
They quietly walked back up to the main floor and Logan began rummaging in one of the many drawers in the kitchen for candles. Jean found some matches and they huddled together in the living room in front of the fireplace. After arranging the lighted candles in front of them on the fireplace's mantle, Logan threw another match into the stacked logs.
A blazing inferno blew up the chimney and the heat burned their faces. They settled onto the floor and Jean smiled, relaxing, and let herself sink into the feel of the flames and leaning back into Logan's awaiting embrace.
"Where's Scott tonight Jeanie?" he asked somberly and she settled herself into the cup of his arms.
"Out with Ororo, Remy, and Rogue. We were going to go to the movies but I decided not to go with them."
"Why not?"
"I don't know, I wanted to stay here with you."
"Don't do this to me Jean. It's cruel and not like you." He got up, allowing her to fall back against the floor. She slammed her head and sat, rubbing the sore spot.
"Don't do what? You looked depressed or angry or some mix of the two not that anyone would be able to tell what's wrong with you since you never let anyone close enough for them to know your expressions."
"I tried! You already had someone close to you. Someone I respect and I'm not going to get in the middle of it Jean."
"Logan," she said softly and stood up. He was staring out of the rain soaked window with his arms crossed. "I want to be close to you. It's just that - "
"You have someone else already in that spot in your heart so I took second place. You don't have to apologize red. I understand."
"No, you don't!"
The front door blew open followed by two very wet mutants. Rogue was laughing and she shivered as Remy took her coat and hung it in the foyer next to his own.
"Hey guys." Logan said and the two looked around.
"Where'd da light go?" Remy asked not really caring as he whisked Rogue into his arms for a warm embrace. Jean shivered with cold and jealousy.
"Power went out. Where's the others?"
"Don' know, Scott didn' leave wit us."
"You mean, Scott and Ororo, right?" Jean asked and Remy and Rogue exchanged confused glances.
"No, just Scott sugah, 'Ro didn't come with us." Rogue said in her southern twang.
"But I thought - " Jean let her sentence trail off as Rogue and Remy ran upstairs, their laughter trailing after them. Logan glanced at Jean and cocked his eyebrow.
"I saw Ororo leave earlier with Evan."
"But I told Scott to bring her instead of me." She flinched as she realized Ororo had mentioned the evening she had planned for her and her nephew earlier that week, Scott knew about it too, making her wonder why he was so apt to say yes at bringing her along.
"Maybe he forgot and just went as a third wheel." Logan said trying to comfort her.
"Maybe."
"Jean, he could very well be out there with some girl he just met. Or he could be just having a nice evening to himself. Whatever he's doing it's up to you to decide if you wanna find out what it is, and whether or not you'll be upset."
"I trust Scott."
"Then why are you shaking?"
"Fuck you Logan! I trust Scott, I love him!"
"Fuck me?"
Jean glanced at Logan - whose mouth was spread in a very large smile - and laughed. "I'm sorry."
"Why?"
"I am worried about what he's up to, but I'm not going to sneak around behind his back snooping on him."
"Then don't snoop."
"What do you want me to do then?"
"Honestly?"
"Yes."
"Kiss me. Or let me kiss you. The fire light's doing something to my hormones."
"Are you serious?"
"Yup."
"You know I can't do that Logan."
"No. You can. But you shouldn't. I mean, what kind of girlfriend would you be if you kissed another guy while your boyfriend is out…somewhere." He let his sentence trail off and Jean scowled.
"You're manipulating me Logan."
"Yes I am. So what are you going to do about it?"
"I'm not sure." She whispered, without knowing it the two were suddenly standing closer together then they had started out. She shivered at the feel of his breath on her neck and tried to stop her eyes from staring directly into his own.
"We shouldn't." Logan said softly and she tried to nod in agreement, her neck stiff from either looking up at him or from anticipation.
"I do love you Logan." She managed to say before the front door flung open yet again. They blinked and stepped away from each other as Scott stumbled into the foyer.
"What's up with the lights?" he asked, slightly slurred words coming out of his mouth.
"You're drunk." Jean said after a few fast beats of her heart. If he had walked in seconds later, she snapped off the train of thought.
"No sir!" Scott yelled and walked quickly up the stairs - too quickly for his current state and he tumbled back down them. Logan chuckled and Jean shot him an angry glare. He walked over to their fallen comrade and picked him up.
"I'll bring him to his room." He said and Jean nodded.
"Come back down after he's settled." She whispered without knowing why. Logan nodded and hurried up the stairs, Scott flailing an arm behind him.
Jean collapsed on the couch and held her head in her hands. Not exactly sure what she wanted to do or say to Logan, but knowing she couldn't end this night without figuring out where they stood.
She sighed and started into the still burning fire and tried to relax. All she had to do was tell Logan that she was wrong and that she loved Scott. But even the thought of the words was difficult and she realized that maybe that in it self was a lie.
"What's going on Jeanie?" she heard Logan ask gruffly behind her.
"I'm not sure Logan. I just know that tonight was the most confusing night of my life."
"Tell me what you're thinking then, let's try to figure it out together."
"I don't know. I just know that my feelings are changing."
"Towards me or Scott?"
She sighed again as Logan sat next to her, casually putting his arm around the back of the couch. "Both."
"Well let's start with how you feel about Scott."
"Logan, I don't know what to do. I love Scott, or at least I think I do but he's just so hard to deal with. And it's like he doesn't even try to understand me or what goes on in my head."
"And,"
"And, You do."
"I think you need to sleep on this. I'm not in any real rush to be a serious part of your life, I've waited this long I can wait a few more hours."
"I don't want to sleep on it. I want to be compulsive for once, I want to be rash and do something on impulse."
"What's your impulse telling you to do?"
She grabbed his face with both of her hands and pulled him close enough to her so that their lips were brushing. She smiled inwardly at the look of shock on his face. Knowing if she went through with this simple motion her entire world would fall apart. But she was no longer afraid. The fire that had kept the darkness at bay had diminished and now Logan stood between her and the shadows. She wasn't afraid to look beyond his dark eyes to see the shadows creeping towards her. His love kept them away. And she wanted to help.
She knew her world would fall apart but she also knew that he would help her peice it back together again, making it stronger. And in that instance when there lips met and they were wrapped in a kiss that would bind them for a life time, she knew she was in love with the man that was cradling her in his strong arms.