Dear Diary,
Today was a fun day for all involved saved uncle Poseidon, who is really annoyed at little me toady, his darling niece and stuff. At least I suppose that means I do not have to worry about his advances or anything. From what I have heard he is even worse that Zeus- leaving only poor uncle Hades as a normal one, but he is kinda creepy so I don't visit him. Mind you, even he had to kidnap and rape aunt Persephone, then trick her into living with him...ok, maybe he is not so normal. What is with these freaks all being related to me and the most powerful dudes in the whole cosmos?
Anyway, what actually happened is more interesting than my little rant at..well, men in general I guess. These bunch of people founding this city in the Peloponnese of Mycenae, and they could not think of what to call it, being dull, stupid people. So they came up to the gods to ask for help in thinking of a sensible name, which in my opinion was a really bad idea- how were they to have guessed that I, the only sensible goddess on Mount Olympus, would be intrigued by their idea and answer their plea? Good thing I did though, or they would be stuck in a really bad situation. When both Poseidon and I offered our services in choosing a name for the new city, they came up with a contest- from then I knew that I would win, even before they said what we would have to do. It's obvious that I'm great and uncle isn't, come on. So the people of the new city said that we should both give the place a gift, and the most useful one would determine who was to be the patron of the city. So we both raked our brains for a while, although obviously it took me much less time as I'm just...well, smarted than Poseidon, if you want to know the truth and will also keep it very very quiet. For while I maintain that I am greater than Poseidon in all ways, I really don't want him to know that I think that in case he tries to challenge my belief, as, well- let's just say I am too easily persuaded in situations like that. While I know that I am one of the most powerful beings in the cosmos, at the same time I am also a bit weak and pathetic in real life.
So, this morning uncle and I trooped out to the city, to this huge hill around which the city was built. Poseidon won the toss and so got to present his gift first, sticking his trident in the ground and making a river of water come out. Now, water being kinda important I got a little worried here, it's a pretty cool gift for a new city. But then some random guy went to drink from the water, and nearly threw up from the salt in it. That idiot of a sea god had only forgotten that he was pretty useless at creating freshwater, and what good is a load of salt water to a city, it will just kill the people, animals and crops. The people didn't laugh out loud as Poseidon is a pretty intimidating guy, and when you have seen him create a huge river out of nothing in the middle of a settlement, you wonder what else he might be up to, and whether it would be a good idea to force him to action where you might found out. So they all looked at me in desperation for some distraction as well as my gift, which couldn't do much worse than the sea water would do. I smiled regally and unveiled my pressie. They looked fairly bemused at the tree I unveiled, which annoyed me a bit until I realised that this was the first of it's kind and therefore I suppose that I can forgive them not having a clue what I was going on about. I placed the tree in the ground, then explained to them that it was an olive tree, and would sustain them for years to come. In silence they listened to me as I told them that squeezing the olives would give them an oil they could use in food and to trade, it would be hugely valuable long-term and would bring them great fortune. I also told them that the olive branch would be a symbol for peace, as the city will have the blessing of the goddess of war. They all looked really pleased and cheered, so I guess that meant they were pleased. I grinned at uncle, who just stuck two fingers up and me and disappeared, no doubt to make someone's life a misery as he likes to do as much as he can. I looked at the people and shouted out that the city would from that day be known as Athens, that they were to preserve my gift, revere my name, and build me a huge and pretty temple on the hill, full of pretty paintings and shiny things. They looked less enthusiastic, but then I guess they could not exactly change their decision and go for Poseidon now, could they? So they just put up with it.
Zipped back home, telling anyone that I could find along the way what had happened in the contest, and that now I had my very own city. Dad was proud of me, so proud even that he insisted that we go down and see uncle Hades and aunt Persephone, to prove uncle Hades wrong as he had said that all Dad's kids were no good scumbags, although they put more business his way than anything mortals could do on their own. Personally, I think uncle needs a good holiday in the sun, all this hanging around dead people, mortals of course, all stupid mortals, can't be good for his health. He stared at me in that creepy way of his, the eyes just take you in and probably he's working out how close to death you are in his mind. He speaks really slowly and it echoes, which does creep me out as I don't hear it much, I try and avoid him. Aunt Persephone was nice enough though, she gave us some food and looked at me as though she was interested in more than increasing the population of the dead. Went home when dad and uncle started fighting over why uncle got the crappy underworld when dad got to be king of everything. It's a fair point I suppose, but I don't like him all the same!
Today was a fun day for all involved saved uncle Poseidon, who is really annoyed at little me toady, his darling niece and stuff. At least I suppose that means I do not have to worry about his advances or anything. From what I have heard he is even worse that Zeus- leaving only poor uncle Hades as a normal one, but he is kinda creepy so I don't visit him. Mind you, even he had to kidnap and rape aunt Persephone, then trick her into living with him...ok, maybe he is not so normal. What is with these freaks all being related to me and the most powerful dudes in the whole cosmos?
Anyway, what actually happened is more interesting than my little rant at..well, men in general I guess. These bunch of people founding this city in the Peloponnese of Mycenae, and they could not think of what to call it, being dull, stupid people. So they came up to the gods to ask for help in thinking of a sensible name, which in my opinion was a really bad idea- how were they to have guessed that I, the only sensible goddess on Mount Olympus, would be intrigued by their idea and answer their plea? Good thing I did though, or they would be stuck in a really bad situation. When both Poseidon and I offered our services in choosing a name for the new city, they came up with a contest- from then I knew that I would win, even before they said what we would have to do. It's obvious that I'm great and uncle isn't, come on. So the people of the new city said that we should both give the place a gift, and the most useful one would determine who was to be the patron of the city. So we both raked our brains for a while, although obviously it took me much less time as I'm just...well, smarted than Poseidon, if you want to know the truth and will also keep it very very quiet. For while I maintain that I am greater than Poseidon in all ways, I really don't want him to know that I think that in case he tries to challenge my belief, as, well- let's just say I am too easily persuaded in situations like that. While I know that I am one of the most powerful beings in the cosmos, at the same time I am also a bit weak and pathetic in real life.
So, this morning uncle and I trooped out to the city, to this huge hill around which the city was built. Poseidon won the toss and so got to present his gift first, sticking his trident in the ground and making a river of water come out. Now, water being kinda important I got a little worried here, it's a pretty cool gift for a new city. But then some random guy went to drink from the water, and nearly threw up from the salt in it. That idiot of a sea god had only forgotten that he was pretty useless at creating freshwater, and what good is a load of salt water to a city, it will just kill the people, animals and crops. The people didn't laugh out loud as Poseidon is a pretty intimidating guy, and when you have seen him create a huge river out of nothing in the middle of a settlement, you wonder what else he might be up to, and whether it would be a good idea to force him to action where you might found out. So they all looked at me in desperation for some distraction as well as my gift, which couldn't do much worse than the sea water would do. I smiled regally and unveiled my pressie. They looked fairly bemused at the tree I unveiled, which annoyed me a bit until I realised that this was the first of it's kind and therefore I suppose that I can forgive them not having a clue what I was going on about. I placed the tree in the ground, then explained to them that it was an olive tree, and would sustain them for years to come. In silence they listened to me as I told them that squeezing the olives would give them an oil they could use in food and to trade, it would be hugely valuable long-term and would bring them great fortune. I also told them that the olive branch would be a symbol for peace, as the city will have the blessing of the goddess of war. They all looked really pleased and cheered, so I guess that meant they were pleased. I grinned at uncle, who just stuck two fingers up and me and disappeared, no doubt to make someone's life a misery as he likes to do as much as he can. I looked at the people and shouted out that the city would from that day be known as Athens, that they were to preserve my gift, revere my name, and build me a huge and pretty temple on the hill, full of pretty paintings and shiny things. They looked less enthusiastic, but then I guess they could not exactly change their decision and go for Poseidon now, could they? So they just put up with it.
Zipped back home, telling anyone that I could find along the way what had happened in the contest, and that now I had my very own city. Dad was proud of me, so proud even that he insisted that we go down and see uncle Hades and aunt Persephone, to prove uncle Hades wrong as he had said that all Dad's kids were no good scumbags, although they put more business his way than anything mortals could do on their own. Personally, I think uncle needs a good holiday in the sun, all this hanging around dead people, mortals of course, all stupid mortals, can't be good for his health. He stared at me in that creepy way of his, the eyes just take you in and probably he's working out how close to death you are in his mind. He speaks really slowly and it echoes, which does creep me out as I don't hear it much, I try and avoid him. Aunt Persephone was nice enough though, she gave us some food and looked at me as though she was interested in more than increasing the population of the dead. Went home when dad and uncle started fighting over why uncle got the crappy underworld when dad got to be king of everything. It's a fair point I suppose, but I don't like him all the same!