Sorry, there will be less detail here now as I want to try and finish the whole fic in 12 chapters, and I have a nice idea for how the last one will go. So no criticism due to lack of detail please, there is a reason!
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Dear Diary,
Coming near to the end of my Odyssey saga, and really towards the end of my crush as well, I have to say. Over the 20 years he has done some pretty bad thing, I am not sure that I could love a man who is just so...so like Odysseus has become.
After Zeus agreed to order Calypso to let him go, I went to Ithaka myself to see how Penelope and Telemachus were getting along. Not good, as it turns out. 108 blokes have taken up residence in their house, all wanting to marry Penelope, for which they will become King of Ithaka. Gods only know how, Penelope is the Spartan princess but I suppose these Greeks have never been too good about working this sort of stuff out. It's not even like she's that nice or anything, she old enough to be their mother and everything! Some of them are fairly cute though, but Penelope is being most loyal to her husband, presumed dead, and not taking any of them up on their offer. Telemachus is right annoyed at it all, gone through the awkward teenage years with no dad to sympathise with him, and never able to bring a girl home secretly- with 108 blokes in the house you're never going to get away with it, are you?
Penelope tried to keep the suitors at bay for three years by saying that she had to weave a shroud for Laertes, the old king of Ithaka and the father of Odysseus. It seems strange that he was the king before Odysseys, when it was marrying Penelope that made Odysseus king-and if Laertes is still alive, how on earth did Odysseus become kind? These human things confuse me, so answers on a papyrus to 'Athene c/o Mount Olympus, Greece' Anyway, she would weave the shroud by day and unpick it by night, until the nasty servant Melantho told the suitors what she was up to. I am shocked that they hadn't worked it out before then- I mean, who takes three years to weave a shroud, let alone one that has not a stich more on it three years later than it did at the start?
I visited Telemachus disguised as an old family friend, Mentes. He received me well, and I started thinking about how to increase his reputation and self-belief, for an eventual plan to set things to rights when Odysseus came home. Telemachus is a bit of a pale, pasty youth, ache rampant and seems a bit unaccustomed to the size of his body like it doesn't quite fit- the normal teenager/young person, I suppose. Being born straight from your father's head fully grown has some advantages, it seems, I managed to avoid all this nastiness. As Mentes, I told Telemachus to visit some of Odysseus' old friends- Nestor at Pylos and Menelaus at Sparta, asking them had they seen his Dad, and if not he was to come back and remarry his mother to one of the suitors. Broke my heart to let him thing his father was dead, his eyes went all dull and sad, like a kicked puppy. Odysseus' dog Argus was still there, alive, barely- he lay on a dung-heap in the corner, waiting only for the dread hand of death to claim him from a life spent mourning the loss of his master. Telemachus did as I said, and when he came home he was indeed more of a man than before.
Meanwhile, Odysseus had left Calypso and set sail for Ithaka. Poseidon saw and yes, you guessed it, stuck his nose in again to mess things up, again causing a shipwreck. Odysseus drifted for days and was about to be killed on some rocks when I told him to cling to some- silly beggar didn't manage it, and I had to get my mate Ino the White Goddess to help him in the more fool-proof method of physically instructing him. He was washed up on Phaeacia, where the princess Nausicaa found him and took him back to her father's palace. King Alcinous put on all sorts of games and competitions for him, and eventually asked his story- and Odysseus obliged, telling the story as I tell you now. Though perhaps he was slightly kinder to himself and didn't put so much emphasis on how stupid he was. Alcinous arranged for the Phaeacians to take him home, and finally, after 20 years away, a sleeping Odysseus was laid back on Ithaka, and I was incredibly relieved. Poseidon was very annoyed- nothing more he could do to harm Odysseus now- and turned the Phaeacian ship into stone just before it entered their harbour. Meanie.
Now, Odysseus was all for just marching straight back to his palace and claiming it back- although 108 blokes in there are just going to slighter you if you do that, so I made him stop. Disguised him as a beggar while he worked out what the situation was, and then set about getting first Telemachus onto his side. The plan eventually hatched that Odysseus, Telemachus and I, plus another member of the household, slaughtered all 108 suitors ourselves, along with the priest who had served them. The disloyal servants Odysseus told Telemachus to execute, meaning clean beheading, or so I would have though. Disturbingly, Telemachus took them all and hanged them in a line- quite disturbing from a child, that he did this. Even Odysseus was a little upset by this, can't be nice to see what a bloodthirsty monster your child is. Penelope was reunited with Odysseus, and they lived happily ever after :)
Odysseus then went to unite himself with his father, the half-mad with grief Laertes. In the orchard at first Odysseus pretended that he was not really Odysseus, just someone who had seen him- he was so used to lying by now it came naturally. Laertes cried, it was so sad, Odysseus then told him who he really was and everything was ok, but still....I have never made Zeus cry, except the one time I cleaned his thunderbolts with rocks...well come on, it wasn't my fault, Ares told me that was how Hestia would do it if she could...
So now it's all worked out. Maybe someone else one day will write it all down like I have, and millions of people can read it or something. Be forced to read it by people who study Greece at this time, even though they would probably be better reading about the actual Trojan War...and Odysseus is a hero, when he shouldn't be, he's just a stupid, nasty man who happened to have a goddess fall in love with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Diary,
Coming near to the end of my Odyssey saga, and really towards the end of my crush as well, I have to say. Over the 20 years he has done some pretty bad thing, I am not sure that I could love a man who is just so...so like Odysseus has become.
After Zeus agreed to order Calypso to let him go, I went to Ithaka myself to see how Penelope and Telemachus were getting along. Not good, as it turns out. 108 blokes have taken up residence in their house, all wanting to marry Penelope, for which they will become King of Ithaka. Gods only know how, Penelope is the Spartan princess but I suppose these Greeks have never been too good about working this sort of stuff out. It's not even like she's that nice or anything, she old enough to be their mother and everything! Some of them are fairly cute though, but Penelope is being most loyal to her husband, presumed dead, and not taking any of them up on their offer. Telemachus is right annoyed at it all, gone through the awkward teenage years with no dad to sympathise with him, and never able to bring a girl home secretly- with 108 blokes in the house you're never going to get away with it, are you?
Penelope tried to keep the suitors at bay for three years by saying that she had to weave a shroud for Laertes, the old king of Ithaka and the father of Odysseus. It seems strange that he was the king before Odysseys, when it was marrying Penelope that made Odysseus king-and if Laertes is still alive, how on earth did Odysseus become kind? These human things confuse me, so answers on a papyrus to 'Athene c/o Mount Olympus, Greece' Anyway, she would weave the shroud by day and unpick it by night, until the nasty servant Melantho told the suitors what she was up to. I am shocked that they hadn't worked it out before then- I mean, who takes three years to weave a shroud, let alone one that has not a stich more on it three years later than it did at the start?
I visited Telemachus disguised as an old family friend, Mentes. He received me well, and I started thinking about how to increase his reputation and self-belief, for an eventual plan to set things to rights when Odysseus came home. Telemachus is a bit of a pale, pasty youth, ache rampant and seems a bit unaccustomed to the size of his body like it doesn't quite fit- the normal teenager/young person, I suppose. Being born straight from your father's head fully grown has some advantages, it seems, I managed to avoid all this nastiness. As Mentes, I told Telemachus to visit some of Odysseus' old friends- Nestor at Pylos and Menelaus at Sparta, asking them had they seen his Dad, and if not he was to come back and remarry his mother to one of the suitors. Broke my heart to let him thing his father was dead, his eyes went all dull and sad, like a kicked puppy. Odysseus' dog Argus was still there, alive, barely- he lay on a dung-heap in the corner, waiting only for the dread hand of death to claim him from a life spent mourning the loss of his master. Telemachus did as I said, and when he came home he was indeed more of a man than before.
Meanwhile, Odysseus had left Calypso and set sail for Ithaka. Poseidon saw and yes, you guessed it, stuck his nose in again to mess things up, again causing a shipwreck. Odysseus drifted for days and was about to be killed on some rocks when I told him to cling to some- silly beggar didn't manage it, and I had to get my mate Ino the White Goddess to help him in the more fool-proof method of physically instructing him. He was washed up on Phaeacia, where the princess Nausicaa found him and took him back to her father's palace. King Alcinous put on all sorts of games and competitions for him, and eventually asked his story- and Odysseus obliged, telling the story as I tell you now. Though perhaps he was slightly kinder to himself and didn't put so much emphasis on how stupid he was. Alcinous arranged for the Phaeacians to take him home, and finally, after 20 years away, a sleeping Odysseus was laid back on Ithaka, and I was incredibly relieved. Poseidon was very annoyed- nothing more he could do to harm Odysseus now- and turned the Phaeacian ship into stone just before it entered their harbour. Meanie.
Now, Odysseus was all for just marching straight back to his palace and claiming it back- although 108 blokes in there are just going to slighter you if you do that, so I made him stop. Disguised him as a beggar while he worked out what the situation was, and then set about getting first Telemachus onto his side. The plan eventually hatched that Odysseus, Telemachus and I, plus another member of the household, slaughtered all 108 suitors ourselves, along with the priest who had served them. The disloyal servants Odysseus told Telemachus to execute, meaning clean beheading, or so I would have though. Disturbingly, Telemachus took them all and hanged them in a line- quite disturbing from a child, that he did this. Even Odysseus was a little upset by this, can't be nice to see what a bloodthirsty monster your child is. Penelope was reunited with Odysseus, and they lived happily ever after :)
Odysseus then went to unite himself with his father, the half-mad with grief Laertes. In the orchard at first Odysseus pretended that he was not really Odysseus, just someone who had seen him- he was so used to lying by now it came naturally. Laertes cried, it was so sad, Odysseus then told him who he really was and everything was ok, but still....I have never made Zeus cry, except the one time I cleaned his thunderbolts with rocks...well come on, it wasn't my fault, Ares told me that was how Hestia would do it if she could...
So now it's all worked out. Maybe someone else one day will write it all down like I have, and millions of people can read it or something. Be forced to read it by people who study Greece at this time, even though they would probably be better reading about the actual Trojan War...and Odysseus is a hero, when he shouldn't be, he's just a stupid, nasty man who happened to have a goddess fall in love with him.