A/N: Sorry this is so short. I'm still debating on the rest of it. More
will be up shortly.
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There was a point in every man's life where they just gave up. This was
not that time for Spike.

She could say she hated him and didn't want to be with him but when he
touched her, he knew that was where he was supposed to be.

It played over and over in his mind, the times he'd seen her with
Angel. Angel was good to her and so was he. He had never hurt her.
Well…okay, maybe a few times. He promised himself that when she was
through with him, he'd walk away.

Now he had to lock the door to keep from going back into her bedroom
and begging her forgiveness, when he knew it was her fault.

There was no way he'd give her up.

God, what was she doing to him?

It was like...

"I'm insane. That has to be it."

He was letting her turn him into a fucking pansy. A whipping boy who
did whatever she asked and took all of her insults while asking for
more.

When he'd envisioned him and Buffy together he hadn't pictured catering
to her every need.

"Spike?"

Dawn. Great. "I'm sleeping."

"No, you're not. Can I come in? It is my room."

"Go away Bit, I'm not up for company."

"Buffy left."

"So?"

"She was crying."

"So?"

"Spike I need something from my room."

"Get it later."

"Spike."

He sighed, standing up and unlocking the door. He sat down on her bed
with his head hanging down and she stood in front of him.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"You and Buffy had sex."

He looked up. "So?"

"So? Don't lie to me and act like this is just nothing! I'm sixteen, a
big girl! I can handle..."

He growled. "Your sister and I screwed Dawn. Nothing more. And she's
just as bloody fickle as before and I don't think I can stand being her
punching bag one more time. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

She stared at him, frowning. "What happened? She was so happy this
morning when she came downstairs I..."

"She can't get over the fact I'm a vampire and for some reason won't
talk to me about anything at all. At all! I can't do this anymore Bit.
I...can't."

"Spike."

He growled, standing up and starting to pace. "When sunset comes, I'm
gone. I'm going back to my crypt and packing. That's it."

"You can't leave! They all leave."

His yellow eyes met her blue ones. "Well they had the right idea."



"Are you okay Willow?"

Willow tried to stand but lost her grip and stumbled. "I...I don't..."

Tara came over to help her up. "You've drained yourself...you..."

Willow squeezed her hand. "I love you."

Tara sighed. "Don't."

"Tara I..."

"What is wrong with you, Willow? Tell me."

Willow took a deep breath and started coughing. Then she took another
one.

"I...I am jealous...you were right. Just...not in the way you said. I
don't...I can't...understand how Spike...Spike, mind you, could get
Buffy happy when no one else could. How she smiled for him but glares
at the rest of us...I...I pulled her out of hell, Tara. Hell! I saved
her!"

Tara let go of her hand and she almost fell again, but kept herself
steady, hanging on the stair rail. "There's got to be more to it, Will.
You don't know the whole story, none of us do. We just have to respect
Buffy's choices, her secrets she wants to keep. YOU need to respect
her."

Willow sighed. "I...I got so dark, so fast. I still...I want to hurt
someone."

"Willow, look at me."

Their eyes met and Tara took her hand again. "I love you...and I
want...to stand by you. But you're making it so...hard."

Tara squeezed her hand and Willow choked a little. "Tara I..."

"No more dark. Come back to me, Willow."

Willow let go of her hand and groaned. "I...I...I don't think..."

Tara leaned down to Willow's face, lifting her girlfriend's chin up so
their eyes met. "I'm strong Willow. You scare me...but I still love you
as much as I ever have. But listen to me now. NEVER...ever...violate me
in that way again. Never use my own spell against me. Or I'll overlook
my feelings...and..."

She squeezed Willow's hand and Willow saw her eyes turn completely
green. "I'll hurt you. I will."

Willow was shaking and her mouth wouldn't stop quivering. "Tara...I had
to...Buffy needs Angel. She does."

Power cracked between them. "Don't DO that! You WANTED to!"

"I..."

"You enjoyed the fear in my eyes."

Willow let out a sob. "No." she whispered.

"You'll lose everything if you go down this path."

Willow hugged her tightly, shaking from head to toe. "I...I..."

"Willow."

"I'm sorry...god, I'm so sorry baby."

"Stay with me Willow."

Willow squeezed her tighter and her voice shook when she spoke.
"Where...would I go?"

"Just....stay with me. Be Willow."

Willow took a deep, shaky breath. "This is too much for me to..."

"I'm here. I am. You won't be alone."

They looked at each other and them kissed deeply. Tara's arms went
around her neck and Willow's hands got lost in her hair. Willow pulled
away first, her hands moving to Tara's lower back. "I am
so...lucky...to have you."

"You are."

"They hate me. Buffy, Xander, Dawn...even Anya. And Spike..."

Tara put her hands on Willow's cheeks. "The best things you can do...is
stay out it now. You've done enough damage."

Willow sighed, eyes resting on Tara's dress. "I know."

"Will, this isn't over."

Willow looked up into her eyes and sighed. "I know."


She knew something bad was happening.

Still, she didn't go home.

The worst possible thing that could happen would involve one other
person besides Spike.

So she went to the mansion and to Angel.

The place smelled dead, looked rotten and old, and she wanted to leave
the minutes she felt Angel inside.

It took a few minutes of searching to find him and she found him in one
of the bedrooms, wide-awake.

"Angel."

He turned and smiled. "Buffy."

She didn't move and he came to her, hugging her tightly. "You're
alive."

Her heartbeat was racing, and she felt sweat on her forehead.
"Angel...why are you here?"

He pulled away from her, his eyes searching her face. "I'm here for
you."

"What did she tell you?"

His eyes softened, and he took her hand. "She told me you were alive."

She swallowed. "And?"

He met her eyes and she saw the pain in them. "She told me you were
with Spike."

Buffy let out a sigh and shook his hand away, walking to the other side
of the bedroom. She paced a little. "I am...I was...I'm not even sure
now."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know."

Angel growled. "Buffy, you don't know what you're doing...this isn't
the right time for you to get into anything with...anyone."

Buffy stopped, smiling a little. "This has nothing to do with the fact
that it's Spike?"

Angel sighed. "No."

"If it had been some human guy, I was with, maybe even Xander..."

"I don't think Xander is a good candidate either."

"You hate him too, I forgot."

Angel walked over to her, his hands resting on her shoulders. He moved
his hands around to the front of her, and held her lightly. She slumped
in his arms and he took the opportunity to smell her hair.

She pushed him away. "Now, what was that?"

"Buffy..."

"Don't...do this. I'm warning you. Don't."

Angel growled, his face changing. "He's a monster Buffy. He has no
soul, no anything...he's just...a monster. Is this what you want to lie
in bed with for the rest of your life?"

She glared at him. "No...a long time ago, I thought I did. Your face is
not the face I want to see when I want to wake up to for the rest of my
life."

Angel growled louder, his hands clenching into fists. He stared down at
the floor.

"Go...I'm...just..."

She walked away from him, pushing him a little as she went.

"Stay away from Spike."

"You can't make me."

She stopped at the door. "I can try."

Angel looked up and his face changed into his human one. Buffy sighed,
her eyes softening. "Don't make me hate you Angel."

"You could never hate me."

Her eyes hardened and she took on a defensive stance. "Never say
never."

Then she left, leaving him more determined than ever.