He leaned his forehead gently against the smooth glass in front of
his face, catching a brief glimpse of dark shadowed trees reflected in the
windowpane. A snowflake drifted momentarily across his vision, twirling its
lazy way towards the ground as though it had all the time in the world. As
though it didn't know that in a few too brief seconds, it would be resting
gently on a pile of its kindred, with nothing to distinguish it from the
rest.
A small smile graced his face as he marveled at his folly. No, the snowflake didn't know that it would soon be obliterated. It was a snowflake, a piece of crystallized water. It had life only through the thoughts of murderers who sat at this window staring out at the snow and giving it human qualities to extend their private beliefs on everything around them. Life through others. And death through others… but that was his job. Snowflakes did not kill, did not murder selectively. Snow only fell gently, softly, covering the world in a blanket of white, leaving everything equal in its perfection. Sparkling gently when a ray of sun stumbled across it, marred only by the folly of life. Falling gently from the sky without a thought for itself, its only role in life to blanket the world in white, to wash away its sins, to create it anew.
Of course this was a lie. Snow did nothing of the sort. It fell, and it was stepped on, and it melted. But for a little while, the world was clean, unmarked by the careless feet of selfish people, unmarked by the sins of the world. All the same, covered gently in a blanket of white that lay oh-so-softly on trees and cars and houses, an easy burden to bear.
Omi smiled softly again and drew back from the window until he saw only his own reflection in the glass. For an instant, he glimpsed a flash of red from the corner of his eye. A thought came to him suddenly, so suddenly that it seemed he had not thought it.
But snow does not absolve sins. It only covers them up.
Omi blinked and shook his head a little. He glanced at his watch, a little startled to notice that it was an hour later than he had thought. He must have dozed off….
He tried to remember what has happened after he left the window… he'd thought of something… something about snow… and then it seemed as though a bit of red had come to the window. Fragments of a dreamlike conversation drifted through his memory.
"Schwarz!"
"Only a person, as you are."
"Guilty…"
"Evil, good…"
"No, you won't remember this time either…"
A cheery voice shattered the calm air around him, sending the stillness flying through the air to nowhere at all.
"Omi-chan! You want hot chocolate?"
Omi sighed softly and turned to face Ken, an automatic smile springing to his face as he did. So automatically that even he forgot sometimes that it was forced.
"Sure Ken-kun. Arigatou…"
He turned to face the window again, gazing at the shadowy pines that showed dimly, superimposed onto the too-perfect reflection of his own face, yet seeing neither. What had he been thinking about? Even the few fragments he'd seemed to remember a moment ago had left… a brief sensation of honey mixed with cinnamon and smoky bonfires pounded suddenly through his body. It seemed so strange, and yet so familiar…familiar and comfortable. A sensation he should recognize… but then even this faded, and he was left with nothing but a sense of contentment. Contentment, and somewhere so deep in his psyche that he barely noticed it, the very faintest sense of déjà vu.
A small smile graced his face as he marveled at his folly. No, the snowflake didn't know that it would soon be obliterated. It was a snowflake, a piece of crystallized water. It had life only through the thoughts of murderers who sat at this window staring out at the snow and giving it human qualities to extend their private beliefs on everything around them. Life through others. And death through others… but that was his job. Snowflakes did not kill, did not murder selectively. Snow only fell gently, softly, covering the world in a blanket of white, leaving everything equal in its perfection. Sparkling gently when a ray of sun stumbled across it, marred only by the folly of life. Falling gently from the sky without a thought for itself, its only role in life to blanket the world in white, to wash away its sins, to create it anew.
Of course this was a lie. Snow did nothing of the sort. It fell, and it was stepped on, and it melted. But for a little while, the world was clean, unmarked by the careless feet of selfish people, unmarked by the sins of the world. All the same, covered gently in a blanket of white that lay oh-so-softly on trees and cars and houses, an easy burden to bear.
Omi smiled softly again and drew back from the window until he saw only his own reflection in the glass. For an instant, he glimpsed a flash of red from the corner of his eye. A thought came to him suddenly, so suddenly that it seemed he had not thought it.
But snow does not absolve sins. It only covers them up.
Omi blinked and shook his head a little. He glanced at his watch, a little startled to notice that it was an hour later than he had thought. He must have dozed off….
He tried to remember what has happened after he left the window… he'd thought of something… something about snow… and then it seemed as though a bit of red had come to the window. Fragments of a dreamlike conversation drifted through his memory.
"Schwarz!"
"Only a person, as you are."
"Guilty…"
"Evil, good…"
"No, you won't remember this time either…"
A cheery voice shattered the calm air around him, sending the stillness flying through the air to nowhere at all.
"Omi-chan! You want hot chocolate?"
Omi sighed softly and turned to face Ken, an automatic smile springing to his face as he did. So automatically that even he forgot sometimes that it was forced.
"Sure Ken-kun. Arigatou…"
He turned to face the window again, gazing at the shadowy pines that showed dimly, superimposed onto the too-perfect reflection of his own face, yet seeing neither. What had he been thinking about? Even the few fragments he'd seemed to remember a moment ago had left… a brief sensation of honey mixed with cinnamon and smoky bonfires pounded suddenly through his body. It seemed so strange, and yet so familiar…familiar and comfortable. A sensation he should recognize… but then even this faded, and he was left with nothing but a sense of contentment. Contentment, and somewhere so deep in his psyche that he barely noticed it, the very faintest sense of déjà vu.