1 Babysitting
(Ok, so some smart-ass people have probably noticed that my style has changed. Well I can actually be descriptive. And just to prove it I am going to use long and complicated words. On a different matter, it would appear that Xelloss has truly gone, and Zelgadis is now having to go through with taking care of Steffi and Tori. So what's going to happen? Well you know the drill.)
Zelgadis Greywords hadn't experienced a day as bad as this. Not even been choked and electrocuted at the same time by Kopi Rezo. Or for that matter, the day he agreed to the deal that would trap him in this hideous body for the rest of eternity. Ok, maybe that was an exception. But still, today was bad as far as his social life went.
All he wanted to do was empathate himself from his past and body. But no. That brazen Mazoku had turned up and forced him to surrogate a babysitter.
(Bet you didn't know that I knew those words. Narrator – one, audience – zero. Oh, and if you don't know what those words mean, look them up in the dictionary. I only translate Japanese. Ok, stuff being descriptive. )
Steffi Anderson was tied, thirsty and hungry. And wet. It had been pouring non-stop since they had awoken.
"I'm tied, thirsty, hungry and wet." She complained to Zelgadis, who was leading up front, not in the least bit worried thanks to his demonic part. Tori was only just managing to hold herself upright.
"Ok come on," She said quickening her pace, "This is just like the year nine hiking camp."
"Yeah well my school doesn't put its students through that sort of torture." Steffi reminded, her spirits lifting at been able to have go at someone, "We went to China for five weeks. We stayed in nice comfortable hotels and at our lovely campus in Nanjing. We didn't have to sleep on the hard ground or under a tent on the side of a vertical mountain. We had western toilets. We didn't have to go behind a bush and dig a hole to do our business."
"Yes, and look for who it is paying off." Tori smirked.
"Well I wasn't exactly planning to have Xellos turn up in my wardrobe, and then be transported to a world that I thought was only fiction."
"Will you two shut up." Zelgadis said in a voice that suggested they had better do so. The two girls did fall silent for a second, trudging on behind.
"What's his problem?" Steffi asked under her breath. Tori shrugged.
"I guess getting stuck with us doesn't help his ego." She said.
"I thought you liked him."
"I do." Tori replied then fell silent.
"What's wrong?" Her friend asked.
"I am at conflict with myself, and there is no way to make both sides happy." She looked up dramatically.
"Yeah, well that's what been at conflict with yourself means." Steffi interrupted, but Tori ignored her.
"I love Zel, but I am also a huge supporter of him and Amelia."
Steffi who was concentrating on Tori, didn't notice Zel had stopped until she walked into him.
"Ow, that really hurts." She mumbled rubbing her forehead where it had collided with his back. It also happened to be that same sensitive spot which had received the harsh treatment of a stick in means of discovering reality from dream. In that case, it had been reality.
(Alright, we're not on a history tour here!)
Zelgadis was frozen mid step. His cheeks slowly turning red underneath his blue skin. "Wha-" He stuttered, "What did you say?"
"Er…nothing!" Tori waved the question off.
Steffi leaned over to her. "Smooth." She teased.
"Shut up." Tori grunted through gritted teeth.
The group stood for a moment in an awaked embarrassed silence. It dragged on. And on. And on.
"So…" Tori broke the silence, rocking casually back and forth on her heels, "Zel, where are we going?"
Zelgadis, coming out of his hypnosis state, stuttered for his own answer. "Uh, er, this way." He regained hold of his cool to wonder off. The girls followed him, neither asking more of the chimera.
After an hour of walking, followed by another hour, followed by a dispute between Steffi and the others over the needs of her stomach, followed by Torri joining her side, followed by Zelgadis giving in and stopping in a village for food, followed by a pig out never seen before in anime, followed by Zel leaving halfway through both in disgust and a chance to slip away, followed by the girls catching up, followed by another dispute, followed by nightime, followed by day, followed by night, followed by day…
(Followed by winter, which turned into spring. Spring turned into summer, summer turned into winter. Then winter gave spring and summer a miss and went straight on into autumn. *evil laugh despite their been no reason or no reason to say there was no reason. Now evil laugh has confused itself* Ok, so I'm loosing control on my evil laughs as well as my insanity. Hang on, I am insane, how can I loose my insanity if I am insane. Oh my god! I've gone cross eyed!
Oh right, there was a story to this. So maybe I get carried away. Narrator gone mad, Narrator gone mad, Narrator's gone completely mad!
For those of you who are not accustomed with this add, forget it. Just laugh and no one will get hurt.
*Everyone in the audience nervously laughs, with the exception of those who don't. Disbelieving looks all round*
Fine then. Oh yeah! The story! Tuned out for a bit there. Right, well maybe not as long as I have cared to demonstraight, but lets just say the trio have been together for nearly a week now.)
The days had soon began to run into each other, but many gained names, none of them named after Roman Gods. There was the devastating No Time day when both girls noticed their watches had stopped. (Un) Fortunately nothing overly exciting occurred since both girls managed to grow brains long enough to dismiss the fact as been in another universe. Then there was the infamous Tic-Tac day.
Steffi was walking along once more for the thousandth time since she had landed in the wardrobe in the inn. She was disturbed by clicking noise as they walked. It was coming from the direction of Tori's pocket.
"Just what have you got there?" She inquired.
Tori looked around with a mask on insouciance. "Huh? What?"
"Your pocket" The ever so acute chimera provided, "it's clicking."
Tori tried to maintain her mask, but it was beginning to fall. Before she could come up with some wild story as an excuses, Steffi pounced.
"Hey! I know that clicking!" She yelled, "That's Tic-Tac's! You have Tic- Tacs which you've been hiding from me?!"
"Er…" Tori searched for a brilliant answer, but none came. So she went to the next best thing. She got angry. "I was rationing them! I hardly think one is going to find such sweetness here, or have you forgotten where we are!"
"I know very well where we are!" Steffi yelled in response, "And to think you didn't have the decency to share with me! I'm in craving for our sugar meself!"
"I saw you eating! I was afraid if I shared I would loose a hand!"
"You pigged out too! Besides, I hadn't eaten anything for nearly fourteen hours!"
"I was just eating when we had a chance."
"Yeah well if it weren't for demon boy here we would all have full stomachs." Steffi swung around to accuse him, only to find he was no more. "Hey! Where he go?"
The girls looked at each other.
"No fair! Zelgadis! Wait up!"
"Come on Zelly-chan, we ain't that bad."
"You just called him 'demon boy'."
"Shut up."
And so on.
Then there was the day of I-Spy. By now they trio had been on the road for half the day. Neither Tori or Steffi had had a good nights sleep, and were now suffering from a servear case of boredom, which had resulted in a half hearted game of I-Spy.
"I spy with my little eye something beginning with S." An ever so bored Steffi began.
"The sky."
"Yup."
"Great, I spy with my little eye something beginning with T."
"A Tree."
"Yeah."
"I spy with my little eye something beginning with D."
"Dirt?" Even for boredom this was low.
"Yup."
"Ok then," Tori looked around for her next one, "I spy with my little eye something beginning with…B."
"A bush."
"No."
"Branch."
"No."
"Bracken?" Zelgadis asked. He had realized that the best way to deal with people like these was only to join them.
"No."
"Ok, I give up." Steffi stretched, "So, what's the answer?"
"Bandit."
"Right. I spy with my little eye – What!" Bandit!"
Fortunately for the girls Zelgadis was tuned in. Not for the first time did Steffi walk into his back. The trio looked around at the bushes, which had gained a couple of heads.
"An obvious ambush." Zelgadis said. "About a dozen or so."
Steffi leant over to Tori. "Well he's calm."
"Of coarse he's calm, he's always calm. That's why he is so cool."
Despite having to deal with bandits, Zelgadis blushed. Lucky him, no one noticed.
"Well," The leader of the bandit group stated in that typical harsh bad-boy voice. "What have we here, boys? A guy and his harem."
"Answer your own questions why don't ya." Steffi mumbled.
"What! We're not his harem!" Tori blushed. She knew what that word meant. It appeared Steffi did not.
"Er, what's a harem?"
"God! You're as bad as Gourry!" Tori looked at her friend for a sec. "I'll explain when you are older."
"Hey! I'm old enough."
"Will you two shut up!" Zelgadis growled back to them. The bandit group had formed the well-known circle o' death.
"Dragon Slave, Dragon Slave" Steffi began chanting. Tori punched her.
"That may have worked against Xelloss, but I don't think these dopes have a high enough IQ to know what that is."
"Well we could always introduce them."
"And how do you propose we do that?"
"What dose it take to shut you two up!" Zelgadis yelled. The girls subdued a bit.
"I think we pissed him off." Tori said.
"Respect your elders." Steffi replied. Tori was about to denial him been that much older, but thought perhaps she should take his advice and shut up.
(La la la. They are all in trouble.)
The leader of the group, having watched the display of stupidity with interest, decided to take control again.
"Your money or your life." He demanded.
"Oh that was original." Tori mumbled.
"We don't have any money, we're poor." Steffi called out.
"Really?" The bandit asked, "Well then, it looks like it is your life."
Someone from behind grabbed Steffi.
"Hey! Put me down!" She yelled kicking wildly, but been in a position where they hit nothing but air. Tori, however had better aim, kicking a rather sensitive area bellow the belt. The bandit screamed, releasing Steffi.
"Looks like he will be singing soprano from now on." Tori admired her handy work.
"So you want to play dirty?" The bandit leader asked.
"Well what do you expect us to do? Lie down and say 'Kill me please. I don't want to live'?" Steffi mimed. The bandit smiled. He raised his sword. It took Steffi a moment to realize that in miming she had adopted the position he wanted.
"Shit."
Suddenly the bandit changed. A quick look of surprise entered his face, but was gone as he fell lifelessly to the ground. Zelgadis had hit him with the backside of his double-edged sword.
"Yay! Go Zel! You rock." Steffi called out in pleasure of having her neck saved.
"Again Steffi, real sensitive." Tori moaned. "Just think before you speak."
Steffi realized the irony of her statement. "Oops."
"Get behind me." Zel ordered.
"What, going to protect your whores?" One of the other bandits snarled, having recovered too quickly from the loss of his hated leader.
"We are not whores!" Steffi yelled. At least this time, she understood.
Zelgadis ignored both. Once the girls were behind him, he raised one hand, palm facing forward.
"Diem Wing!"
The bandits were blown back.
"Yay! Go Zel! You…ah, are the best?" Steffi rephrased her last statement.
Zel blushed.
(Well, so did you like that chapter? Oh? Why wasn't I around that much, well 'That's a secret.' *evil laugh that understands itself completely* Well it would appear that as slow as it maybe occurring, the trio are getting used to one another. It's making me sick. If this keeps up then I'm going to have to take control again.)
(Ok, so some smart-ass people have probably noticed that my style has changed. Well I can actually be descriptive. And just to prove it I am going to use long and complicated words. On a different matter, it would appear that Xelloss has truly gone, and Zelgadis is now having to go through with taking care of Steffi and Tori. So what's going to happen? Well you know the drill.)
Zelgadis Greywords hadn't experienced a day as bad as this. Not even been choked and electrocuted at the same time by Kopi Rezo. Or for that matter, the day he agreed to the deal that would trap him in this hideous body for the rest of eternity. Ok, maybe that was an exception. But still, today was bad as far as his social life went.
All he wanted to do was empathate himself from his past and body. But no. That brazen Mazoku had turned up and forced him to surrogate a babysitter.
(Bet you didn't know that I knew those words. Narrator – one, audience – zero. Oh, and if you don't know what those words mean, look them up in the dictionary. I only translate Japanese. Ok, stuff being descriptive. )
Steffi Anderson was tied, thirsty and hungry. And wet. It had been pouring non-stop since they had awoken.
"I'm tied, thirsty, hungry and wet." She complained to Zelgadis, who was leading up front, not in the least bit worried thanks to his demonic part. Tori was only just managing to hold herself upright.
"Ok come on," She said quickening her pace, "This is just like the year nine hiking camp."
"Yeah well my school doesn't put its students through that sort of torture." Steffi reminded, her spirits lifting at been able to have go at someone, "We went to China for five weeks. We stayed in nice comfortable hotels and at our lovely campus in Nanjing. We didn't have to sleep on the hard ground or under a tent on the side of a vertical mountain. We had western toilets. We didn't have to go behind a bush and dig a hole to do our business."
"Yes, and look for who it is paying off." Tori smirked.
"Well I wasn't exactly planning to have Xellos turn up in my wardrobe, and then be transported to a world that I thought was only fiction."
"Will you two shut up." Zelgadis said in a voice that suggested they had better do so. The two girls did fall silent for a second, trudging on behind.
"What's his problem?" Steffi asked under her breath. Tori shrugged.
"I guess getting stuck with us doesn't help his ego." She said.
"I thought you liked him."
"I do." Tori replied then fell silent.
"What's wrong?" Her friend asked.
"I am at conflict with myself, and there is no way to make both sides happy." She looked up dramatically.
"Yeah, well that's what been at conflict with yourself means." Steffi interrupted, but Tori ignored her.
"I love Zel, but I am also a huge supporter of him and Amelia."
Steffi who was concentrating on Tori, didn't notice Zel had stopped until she walked into him.
"Ow, that really hurts." She mumbled rubbing her forehead where it had collided with his back. It also happened to be that same sensitive spot which had received the harsh treatment of a stick in means of discovering reality from dream. In that case, it had been reality.
(Alright, we're not on a history tour here!)
Zelgadis was frozen mid step. His cheeks slowly turning red underneath his blue skin. "Wha-" He stuttered, "What did you say?"
"Er…nothing!" Tori waved the question off.
Steffi leaned over to her. "Smooth." She teased.
"Shut up." Tori grunted through gritted teeth.
The group stood for a moment in an awaked embarrassed silence. It dragged on. And on. And on.
"So…" Tori broke the silence, rocking casually back and forth on her heels, "Zel, where are we going?"
Zelgadis, coming out of his hypnosis state, stuttered for his own answer. "Uh, er, this way." He regained hold of his cool to wonder off. The girls followed him, neither asking more of the chimera.
After an hour of walking, followed by another hour, followed by a dispute between Steffi and the others over the needs of her stomach, followed by Torri joining her side, followed by Zelgadis giving in and stopping in a village for food, followed by a pig out never seen before in anime, followed by Zel leaving halfway through both in disgust and a chance to slip away, followed by the girls catching up, followed by another dispute, followed by nightime, followed by day, followed by night, followed by day…
(Followed by winter, which turned into spring. Spring turned into summer, summer turned into winter. Then winter gave spring and summer a miss and went straight on into autumn. *evil laugh despite their been no reason or no reason to say there was no reason. Now evil laugh has confused itself* Ok, so I'm loosing control on my evil laughs as well as my insanity. Hang on, I am insane, how can I loose my insanity if I am insane. Oh my god! I've gone cross eyed!
Oh right, there was a story to this. So maybe I get carried away. Narrator gone mad, Narrator gone mad, Narrator's gone completely mad!
For those of you who are not accustomed with this add, forget it. Just laugh and no one will get hurt.
*Everyone in the audience nervously laughs, with the exception of those who don't. Disbelieving looks all round*
Fine then. Oh yeah! The story! Tuned out for a bit there. Right, well maybe not as long as I have cared to demonstraight, but lets just say the trio have been together for nearly a week now.)
The days had soon began to run into each other, but many gained names, none of them named after Roman Gods. There was the devastating No Time day when both girls noticed their watches had stopped. (Un) Fortunately nothing overly exciting occurred since both girls managed to grow brains long enough to dismiss the fact as been in another universe. Then there was the infamous Tic-Tac day.
Steffi was walking along once more for the thousandth time since she had landed in the wardrobe in the inn. She was disturbed by clicking noise as they walked. It was coming from the direction of Tori's pocket.
"Just what have you got there?" She inquired.
Tori looked around with a mask on insouciance. "Huh? What?"
"Your pocket" The ever so acute chimera provided, "it's clicking."
Tori tried to maintain her mask, but it was beginning to fall. Before she could come up with some wild story as an excuses, Steffi pounced.
"Hey! I know that clicking!" She yelled, "That's Tic-Tac's! You have Tic- Tacs which you've been hiding from me?!"
"Er…" Tori searched for a brilliant answer, but none came. So she went to the next best thing. She got angry. "I was rationing them! I hardly think one is going to find such sweetness here, or have you forgotten where we are!"
"I know very well where we are!" Steffi yelled in response, "And to think you didn't have the decency to share with me! I'm in craving for our sugar meself!"
"I saw you eating! I was afraid if I shared I would loose a hand!"
"You pigged out too! Besides, I hadn't eaten anything for nearly fourteen hours!"
"I was just eating when we had a chance."
"Yeah well if it weren't for demon boy here we would all have full stomachs." Steffi swung around to accuse him, only to find he was no more. "Hey! Where he go?"
The girls looked at each other.
"No fair! Zelgadis! Wait up!"
"Come on Zelly-chan, we ain't that bad."
"You just called him 'demon boy'."
"Shut up."
And so on.
Then there was the day of I-Spy. By now they trio had been on the road for half the day. Neither Tori or Steffi had had a good nights sleep, and were now suffering from a servear case of boredom, which had resulted in a half hearted game of I-Spy.
"I spy with my little eye something beginning with S." An ever so bored Steffi began.
"The sky."
"Yup."
"Great, I spy with my little eye something beginning with T."
"A Tree."
"Yeah."
"I spy with my little eye something beginning with D."
"Dirt?" Even for boredom this was low.
"Yup."
"Ok then," Tori looked around for her next one, "I spy with my little eye something beginning with…B."
"A bush."
"No."
"Branch."
"No."
"Bracken?" Zelgadis asked. He had realized that the best way to deal with people like these was only to join them.
"No."
"Ok, I give up." Steffi stretched, "So, what's the answer?"
"Bandit."
"Right. I spy with my little eye – What!" Bandit!"
Fortunately for the girls Zelgadis was tuned in. Not for the first time did Steffi walk into his back. The trio looked around at the bushes, which had gained a couple of heads.
"An obvious ambush." Zelgadis said. "About a dozen or so."
Steffi leant over to Tori. "Well he's calm."
"Of coarse he's calm, he's always calm. That's why he is so cool."
Despite having to deal with bandits, Zelgadis blushed. Lucky him, no one noticed.
"Well," The leader of the bandit group stated in that typical harsh bad-boy voice. "What have we here, boys? A guy and his harem."
"Answer your own questions why don't ya." Steffi mumbled.
"What! We're not his harem!" Tori blushed. She knew what that word meant. It appeared Steffi did not.
"Er, what's a harem?"
"God! You're as bad as Gourry!" Tori looked at her friend for a sec. "I'll explain when you are older."
"Hey! I'm old enough."
"Will you two shut up!" Zelgadis growled back to them. The bandit group had formed the well-known circle o' death.
"Dragon Slave, Dragon Slave" Steffi began chanting. Tori punched her.
"That may have worked against Xelloss, but I don't think these dopes have a high enough IQ to know what that is."
"Well we could always introduce them."
"And how do you propose we do that?"
"What dose it take to shut you two up!" Zelgadis yelled. The girls subdued a bit.
"I think we pissed him off." Tori said.
"Respect your elders." Steffi replied. Tori was about to denial him been that much older, but thought perhaps she should take his advice and shut up.
(La la la. They are all in trouble.)
The leader of the group, having watched the display of stupidity with interest, decided to take control again.
"Your money or your life." He demanded.
"Oh that was original." Tori mumbled.
"We don't have any money, we're poor." Steffi called out.
"Really?" The bandit asked, "Well then, it looks like it is your life."
Someone from behind grabbed Steffi.
"Hey! Put me down!" She yelled kicking wildly, but been in a position where they hit nothing but air. Tori, however had better aim, kicking a rather sensitive area bellow the belt. The bandit screamed, releasing Steffi.
"Looks like he will be singing soprano from now on." Tori admired her handy work.
"So you want to play dirty?" The bandit leader asked.
"Well what do you expect us to do? Lie down and say 'Kill me please. I don't want to live'?" Steffi mimed. The bandit smiled. He raised his sword. It took Steffi a moment to realize that in miming she had adopted the position he wanted.
"Shit."
Suddenly the bandit changed. A quick look of surprise entered his face, but was gone as he fell lifelessly to the ground. Zelgadis had hit him with the backside of his double-edged sword.
"Yay! Go Zel! You rock." Steffi called out in pleasure of having her neck saved.
"Again Steffi, real sensitive." Tori moaned. "Just think before you speak."
Steffi realized the irony of her statement. "Oops."
"Get behind me." Zel ordered.
"What, going to protect your whores?" One of the other bandits snarled, having recovered too quickly from the loss of his hated leader.
"We are not whores!" Steffi yelled. At least this time, she understood.
Zelgadis ignored both. Once the girls were behind him, he raised one hand, palm facing forward.
"Diem Wing!"
The bandits were blown back.
"Yay! Go Zel! You…ah, are the best?" Steffi rephrased her last statement.
Zel blushed.
(Well, so did you like that chapter? Oh? Why wasn't I around that much, well 'That's a secret.' *evil laugh that understands itself completely* Well it would appear that as slow as it maybe occurring, the trio are getting used to one another. It's making me sick. If this keeps up then I'm going to have to take control again.)