Title: Cats, Dogs and Xander part two
Author: Tony D
Summary: Xander teams up with the most evil and clever villain in history to take over the world...Tinkles, Mr. Tinkles.
Disclaimers: Unfortunately I don't own any of them. Joss and other people who are not me own BTVS. The movie Cats and Dogs is owned by Warner Brothers Inc
Type: Action/Silly Fic
Spoilers: Everything up to Seeing Red. General for Angel
Distribution: Want take have. Just tell me where it's going.
Dedication: To all the great authors that have inspired me to start writing especially Samuel Grimes, Dale Thiel, Lori Bush, Bob Regent, Stone Cold, Jason Thompson, Jeff Patrick, Slayer, Edwin Alice, Kenneth Carter, N.Y.Angel Unholy Church, Red Jacobs, Tenhawk, TC, MagnusXXN, Kellan and Melissa Woolever.
Feedback: Please please please.
Rating: Lets say PG-13 for violence, the Seeing Red rape scene and drug use. "Only pot people. Most of us have done it". This, for the most part is a silly fic, but there will be a few major issues dealt with. But mostly this is just a light fun thing.
Pairings: B/X
Timing: Takes place a few days after Entropy. Most of Seeing Red will happen, but later in the fic. Tara wont die, Warren got arrested with the Three Nerds of Doom. Spike will still try and rape Buffy and that'll cause problems you will have to see.
Voice Talent: Mr. Tinkles = Shawn Hayes, Miss Kitty Fantasco = Jennifer Love Hewitt, Dr Winkers = Jerry Combs
*thoughts*
Xander's Apartment The Next Day
Xander sat watching Saturday morning cartoons, his eyes drifting to Mr. Tinkles every once in a while. Ok, yeah, it was an alcohol induced illusion. But ever since the whole 'cat talking' thing, Xander just got a creepy vibe off the little white furball. His musings were interrupted when the door bell rang. He staggered up and went to answer it. When he opened the door and saw who it was, he couldn't help but smile.
"Hey Wills, its great to see you. What's up ?" he said in a very happy way. He hadn't seen Willow for a few days. His smile turned down a notch when he saw her holding her cat, Miss Kitty Fantasco.
"Hey Xander. I can't stay long. Just here to drop off Miss Kitty for the whole playdate thing. You're holding it for Sophie right?"
"Um, yeah I am," he said in a somber tone. She was not here to see him, just drop off her cat for the stupid playdate thing. "So how's my favorite little kitty?" He started petting Miss Kitty between the ears. She closed her eyes and started purring rather loudly
Willow smiled. "You know, you're the only one she does that for."
"Well you know me. I'm just a lady magnet."
"Yeah I know. Listen, I have to get going for a study group." Willow looked at her watch. "I'm meeting Tara in about a half hour." She handed Miss Kitty over to Xander and he started rubbing her belly. She only purred louder closed her eyes and went limp in his arms. "Oh. Tara and I won tickets the concert tonight. You think you could watch her over night?"
"No problem Wills."
"You're the best Xander. See you in the morning. Be a good girl now for Uncle Xander Miss K." She kissed Xander's cheek and walked off down the hallway.
"Yeah whatever." He took Miss Kitty into his apartment and put her down next to Tinkles. "Now you two play nice." With that, he wandered off into the bathroom.
Mr. Tinkles and Miss Kitty watched Xander leave. When they sure he was gone they started talking.
"Miss Kitty Fantasco I presume. Its interesting to finally meet you after all the e-mails we have been sending to each other."
"Likewise Tinkles." She looked him over. "You know, going by your reputation, I thought you be bigger."
"And from what I have heard about you Miss Kitty, I thought you look more witch-like. You're rather fetching."
Miss Kitty's eyes glowed blue with mystical energy. "Don't get fresh Tinkles. This is a professional relationship nothing more. Just keep your eyes on the ball."
*Oh the arrogance of this little cat. I will have to teach her some respect when I rule the world* "Yes, I do apologies." Mr. Tinkles thought for a moment. "You were rather friendly with the Biped there were you not?"
"Well Xander's great." Miss Kitty closed her eyes for a second. "He's strong and brave. His hands are nice and soft, yet firm at the same and when he scratches between your ears, its always gentle." Miss Kitty started to purr deeply. Mr. Tinkles cough brought her out of her trance.
"Yes. Being that as it may, I hope your personal feelings don't interfere with our plans for WORLD DOMINATION!!"
Miss Kitty rolled her eyes. "Do you have to do that?"
"Do what?"
"When you say world domination, you yell it."
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Do not."
"Do too."
They stopped arguing when they heard the faucet running.
"Ok Tinkles, we can talk about this later. We can't let Xander find out yet. Not until the safety protocols are all in place." She thought for a minute "How are we going to have the meeting while he's here?"
"Trust me. I was able to make sure the witches got the tickets so you could be here tonight. I arranged for my jailer to win that trip and I made sure she would leave me here. Don't worry. It will all be taken care of ."
Miss Kitty became a little worried when she saw Tinkle's sinister smirk. But if he tried to hurt Xander, he would learn the meaning of the word witch
45 Minutes Later
Xander was now officially creped out. The entire playdate group had arrived. About eight cats in all. The problem was they were not playing, just standing round staring at him. He sat on his couch and looked down
*Where'd that coke come from? Oh well.* Xander popped the top and drank the soda. He leaned back on the couch feeling very drowsy. His eyes drifted closed as he slowly feel asleep.
The cats made sure he was out before they gathered in a circle with Tinkles at the head.
"Welcome my friends to the first meeting of our Council of Doom. Introductions are not necessary for you all know each other as the best of the best in each your perspective fields." Tinkles perked up. "We have all gathered here for this grand undertaking, Operation Dark Thunder. You can see in your World Domination pamphlets, the plan outline. As of tomorrow, we will have the human, Alexander Harris working for us. That is when the real work begins. Does everyone understand?" All the cats nodded in agreement. "Good. Now on to refreshments. There is tuna and milk in the kitchen."
All the cats took off running into the kitchen except for Miss Kitty.
"What did you give him?!"
"Just a mild sedative. Nothing major." *Oh how I loathe playing the nice guy, but WORLD DOMINATION demands sacrifice. Hey. I do yell WORLD DOMINATION every time I say it.* "Miss Kitty. Tonight is an important step in our plan and it involves Mr. Harris. Will you be able to do it?"
"As long as it won't hurt him."
"Oh dont worry Miss Kitty. Dr. Winkers assures me its safe. Now let's go get something to eat. We have a long night ahead off us."
Miss Kitty nodded and followed him into the kitchen.
Later That Night
After Xander handed the last cat to its owner he went into the kitchen to get a drink. It felt good to fall asleep without just actually passing out first. He was so jazzed he never felt the tranquillizer dart hit his neck. He fell unconscious to the floor.
Mr. Tinkles stood over him holding the gun. "He shoots, he scores." He turned to see the angry look on Miss Kitty's face. "What? It had to be done." They were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Be a good little pussy and go let Doctor Winkers in."
She growled at Mr. Tinkles but went to answer the door. A few seconds later, Miss Kitty and three other brown cats all dressed in operating clothes returned all carrying bags.
"Doctor, the Biped is all yours." Mr. Tinkles smiled and left them to their work.
Miss Kitty stuck around for a minute. "You had better not hurt him!" she said allowing the magic to show in her eyes.
"Don't worry my dear. Its just little brain surgery. Nothing to be concerned with. You'd better go now. I don't think you'd want to see this." Miss Kitty left. "Human lover," Dr Winkers snarled as he watched her go. "Nurse, get the device ready and hand me the bone saw."
Author: Tony D
Summary: Xander teams up with the most evil and clever villain in history to take over the world...Tinkles, Mr. Tinkles.
Disclaimers: Unfortunately I don't own any of them. Joss and other people who are not me own BTVS. The movie Cats and Dogs is owned by Warner Brothers Inc
Type: Action/Silly Fic
Spoilers: Everything up to Seeing Red. General for Angel
Distribution: Want take have. Just tell me where it's going.
Dedication: To all the great authors that have inspired me to start writing especially Samuel Grimes, Dale Thiel, Lori Bush, Bob Regent, Stone Cold, Jason Thompson, Jeff Patrick, Slayer, Edwin Alice, Kenneth Carter, N.Y.Angel Unholy Church, Red Jacobs, Tenhawk, TC, MagnusXXN, Kellan and Melissa Woolever.
Feedback: Please please please.
Rating: Lets say PG-13 for violence, the Seeing Red rape scene and drug use. "Only pot people. Most of us have done it". This, for the most part is a silly fic, but there will be a few major issues dealt with. But mostly this is just a light fun thing.
Pairings: B/X
Timing: Takes place a few days after Entropy. Most of Seeing Red will happen, but later in the fic. Tara wont die, Warren got arrested with the Three Nerds of Doom. Spike will still try and rape Buffy and that'll cause problems you will have to see.
Voice Talent: Mr. Tinkles = Shawn Hayes, Miss Kitty Fantasco = Jennifer Love Hewitt, Dr Winkers = Jerry Combs
*thoughts*
Xander's Apartment The Next Day
Xander sat watching Saturday morning cartoons, his eyes drifting to Mr. Tinkles every once in a while. Ok, yeah, it was an alcohol induced illusion. But ever since the whole 'cat talking' thing, Xander just got a creepy vibe off the little white furball. His musings were interrupted when the door bell rang. He staggered up and went to answer it. When he opened the door and saw who it was, he couldn't help but smile.
"Hey Wills, its great to see you. What's up ?" he said in a very happy way. He hadn't seen Willow for a few days. His smile turned down a notch when he saw her holding her cat, Miss Kitty Fantasco.
"Hey Xander. I can't stay long. Just here to drop off Miss Kitty for the whole playdate thing. You're holding it for Sophie right?"
"Um, yeah I am," he said in a somber tone. She was not here to see him, just drop off her cat for the stupid playdate thing. "So how's my favorite little kitty?" He started petting Miss Kitty between the ears. She closed her eyes and started purring rather loudly
Willow smiled. "You know, you're the only one she does that for."
"Well you know me. I'm just a lady magnet."
"Yeah I know. Listen, I have to get going for a study group." Willow looked at her watch. "I'm meeting Tara in about a half hour." She handed Miss Kitty over to Xander and he started rubbing her belly. She only purred louder closed her eyes and went limp in his arms. "Oh. Tara and I won tickets the concert tonight. You think you could watch her over night?"
"No problem Wills."
"You're the best Xander. See you in the morning. Be a good girl now for Uncle Xander Miss K." She kissed Xander's cheek and walked off down the hallway.
"Yeah whatever." He took Miss Kitty into his apartment and put her down next to Tinkles. "Now you two play nice." With that, he wandered off into the bathroom.
Mr. Tinkles and Miss Kitty watched Xander leave. When they sure he was gone they started talking.
"Miss Kitty Fantasco I presume. Its interesting to finally meet you after all the e-mails we have been sending to each other."
"Likewise Tinkles." She looked him over. "You know, going by your reputation, I thought you be bigger."
"And from what I have heard about you Miss Kitty, I thought you look more witch-like. You're rather fetching."
Miss Kitty's eyes glowed blue with mystical energy. "Don't get fresh Tinkles. This is a professional relationship nothing more. Just keep your eyes on the ball."
*Oh the arrogance of this little cat. I will have to teach her some respect when I rule the world* "Yes, I do apologies." Mr. Tinkles thought for a moment. "You were rather friendly with the Biped there were you not?"
"Well Xander's great." Miss Kitty closed her eyes for a second. "He's strong and brave. His hands are nice and soft, yet firm at the same and when he scratches between your ears, its always gentle." Miss Kitty started to purr deeply. Mr. Tinkles cough brought her out of her trance.
"Yes. Being that as it may, I hope your personal feelings don't interfere with our plans for WORLD DOMINATION!!"
Miss Kitty rolled her eyes. "Do you have to do that?"
"Do what?"
"When you say world domination, you yell it."
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Do not."
"Do too."
They stopped arguing when they heard the faucet running.
"Ok Tinkles, we can talk about this later. We can't let Xander find out yet. Not until the safety protocols are all in place." She thought for a minute "How are we going to have the meeting while he's here?"
"Trust me. I was able to make sure the witches got the tickets so you could be here tonight. I arranged for my jailer to win that trip and I made sure she would leave me here. Don't worry. It will all be taken care of ."
Miss Kitty became a little worried when she saw Tinkle's sinister smirk. But if he tried to hurt Xander, he would learn the meaning of the word witch
45 Minutes Later
Xander was now officially creped out. The entire playdate group had arrived. About eight cats in all. The problem was they were not playing, just standing round staring at him. He sat on his couch and looked down
*Where'd that coke come from? Oh well.* Xander popped the top and drank the soda. He leaned back on the couch feeling very drowsy. His eyes drifted closed as he slowly feel asleep.
The cats made sure he was out before they gathered in a circle with Tinkles at the head.
"Welcome my friends to the first meeting of our Council of Doom. Introductions are not necessary for you all know each other as the best of the best in each your perspective fields." Tinkles perked up. "We have all gathered here for this grand undertaking, Operation Dark Thunder. You can see in your World Domination pamphlets, the plan outline. As of tomorrow, we will have the human, Alexander Harris working for us. That is when the real work begins. Does everyone understand?" All the cats nodded in agreement. "Good. Now on to refreshments. There is tuna and milk in the kitchen."
All the cats took off running into the kitchen except for Miss Kitty.
"What did you give him?!"
"Just a mild sedative. Nothing major." *Oh how I loathe playing the nice guy, but WORLD DOMINATION demands sacrifice. Hey. I do yell WORLD DOMINATION every time I say it.* "Miss Kitty. Tonight is an important step in our plan and it involves Mr. Harris. Will you be able to do it?"
"As long as it won't hurt him."
"Oh dont worry Miss Kitty. Dr. Winkers assures me its safe. Now let's go get something to eat. We have a long night ahead off us."
Miss Kitty nodded and followed him into the kitchen.
Later That Night
After Xander handed the last cat to its owner he went into the kitchen to get a drink. It felt good to fall asleep without just actually passing out first. He was so jazzed he never felt the tranquillizer dart hit his neck. He fell unconscious to the floor.
Mr. Tinkles stood over him holding the gun. "He shoots, he scores." He turned to see the angry look on Miss Kitty's face. "What? It had to be done." They were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Be a good little pussy and go let Doctor Winkers in."
She growled at Mr. Tinkles but went to answer the door. A few seconds later, Miss Kitty and three other brown cats all dressed in operating clothes returned all carrying bags.
"Doctor, the Biped is all yours." Mr. Tinkles smiled and left them to their work.
Miss Kitty stuck around for a minute. "You had better not hurt him!" she said allowing the magic to show in her eyes.
"Don't worry my dear. Its just little brain surgery. Nothing to be concerned with. You'd better go now. I don't think you'd want to see this." Miss Kitty left. "Human lover," Dr Winkers snarled as he watched her go. "Nurse, get the device ready and hand me the bone saw."