Chapter 9
Gemma took longer than usual to walk to Jeff's house. She had so much to think about, her head was buzzing, so she took it slow & tried to figure things out. By the time she knocked on Jeff's door she had decided that what happened last night wasnt such a bad thing! She was young & should be enjoying herself & she intended to have a great time with Shane & just see what happened next. Then Jeff opened the door & her decision didnt seem like such a great idea after all.
They said their 'hello's' & hugged then went inside.
"So how are you on this bright & sunny morning?" asked Jeff with a wink. Suddenly Gemma realised Shane had probably been out running with Jeff that morning, which meant he knew!! He knew!! Gemma's head was in a whirl! She forced a smile but inside she felt scrambled!! Would he really have told Jeff? She wasnt so sure but she knew she was blushing. She cleared her throat.
"Oh Im ok thanks. You?"
"Fine! You ok really?" Jeff looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face.
"Yeah. No! Oh shit Jeff I dont know how I am! Im messed up man seriously!" Gemma forced back the tears that were welling up in her eyes, determined not to cry on Jeff yet again!
"Hey hey! what's up hun?" Jeff came around the table & hugged her. "Whatever it is Im here for you ya kjnow that! C'mon, tell me! It cant be that bad!"
Gemma took a deep breath.
"I slept with Shane!" Jeff's hug suddenly losened it's grip...or had she imagined it? Why didnt he say something? What the hell must he think of her now? Finally Jeff spoke. "OK." That was all he could say....ok? That's it, thought Gemma, he thinks Im a slut!
"No actually it's not ok!!" She was almost shouting now. Jeff just looked at her wide eyed, shocked. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.
"Well say something Jeff!"
"What can I say?!" He let out a breath & looked at the celing.
"Jeff Im so confused! Hell I dont even know why Im confused that's how completely screwed up I am!!"
Jeff got up & walked to the other side of the kitchen. He put his hands on the counter & looked out of the window, his back to Gemma.
"Gem you're my best friend & well....I'll stick with you through anything you know that! It's just.....it's....."" he stopped trying to find the right word.
"Shocking?" asked Gemma
Jeff laughed. It was a hard sarcastic laugh that Gemma very rarely heard from him. It scared her. "Well yeah! My two best friends gettin it on, I am a little overwhelmed here Gemma please bare with me while I take this all in!!!!" Gemma sat silent. She didnt know what to say. All she knew was now she wished she hadnt told him.......hell she just wished it hadnt happened at all! He finally turned to face her & crossed his arms over his chest. "Well? You gonna talk to me?" he asked.
"Jeff if I knew what the problem was....but I dont! He's a great guy & we had a good time....but well... that's it! I dont know how I feel right now!" she looked across the room at the guy she had known for so many years of her life & she longed for him to hold her & tell her everything was gonna be fine. They looked at each other for what seemed like forever, then Gemma broke the silence.
"He left me a note!"
"And?"
"Well here read it yourself!" Gemma took the note from her pocket & threw it on the table. Jeff came over & picked it up, he gave her a sideways flance before he unfolded the paper.
"I shouldnt be reading this shit! He's my friend too!" but he read it anyway.
Jeff slumped down into the chair beside Gemma so hard it made her jump! He threw down the note & took hold of her hand.
"Jesus girl! You really went & did it this time!"
"Tell me about it!"
"OK so I take it you're not as keen as Shane yeah?"
"No...well I dunno Jeff that's the problem! Half of me is sayin he's a great guy go for it & the other half is sayin..." She paused but Jeff finished her sentance for her.
"He's not the one right?"
"Does that sound fucked up or what?" Gemma's tears welled up again & she let one roll down her cheek. Jeff wiped it away.
"No no it's not fucked up babde! What am I gonna do with you huh?" They both smiled.
"Jeff what am I gonna do? How do I deal with this without hurting Shane?"
"I dont know. I cant tell you! You have to understand that Im kinda in the middle here ya know? I mean if I tell you how to handle this it isnt fair on Shane!"
"Im sorry!" whispered Gemma "Im so so sorry! I didnt mean for this to happen!" She started to cry.
"Hey come on! It's not so bad!" Jeff took her in his arms "We'll survive..somehow we always do!"
The door opened & Matt walked in. Gemma quickly wiped her face, she felt a little embarrassed. Matt looked at the two of them.
"What's goin on?" He asked "Everything ok?"
"Yeah errm Gemma's just a little upset about going back to college on Wednesday!"
"Oh babe I know what the problem is!" grinned MAtt & for a moment Gemma thought he really did know! He came over & put his arm around her shoulders "You just cant stand to be away from my gorgeous body!"
"Oh Matt! Bite me!" said Gemma. they all laughed. 'Typical Matt' thought Gemma,'always knows how to make me laugh when Im about to throw myself under the nearest train!' She did love Matt! She loved both of them, they were like family to her! She considdered herself to be the luckiest girl in the world to have these two as surrogate brothers & hoped nothing would ever change the way they felt about each other, she knew she just couldnt live without them.
Gemma took longer than usual to walk to Jeff's house. She had so much to think about, her head was buzzing, so she took it slow & tried to figure things out. By the time she knocked on Jeff's door she had decided that what happened last night wasnt such a bad thing! She was young & should be enjoying herself & she intended to have a great time with Shane & just see what happened next. Then Jeff opened the door & her decision didnt seem like such a great idea after all.
They said their 'hello's' & hugged then went inside.
"So how are you on this bright & sunny morning?" asked Jeff with a wink. Suddenly Gemma realised Shane had probably been out running with Jeff that morning, which meant he knew!! He knew!! Gemma's head was in a whirl! She forced a smile but inside she felt scrambled!! Would he really have told Jeff? She wasnt so sure but she knew she was blushing. She cleared her throat.
"Oh Im ok thanks. You?"
"Fine! You ok really?" Jeff looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face.
"Yeah. No! Oh shit Jeff I dont know how I am! Im messed up man seriously!" Gemma forced back the tears that were welling up in her eyes, determined not to cry on Jeff yet again!
"Hey hey! what's up hun?" Jeff came around the table & hugged her. "Whatever it is Im here for you ya kjnow that! C'mon, tell me! It cant be that bad!"
Gemma took a deep breath.
"I slept with Shane!" Jeff's hug suddenly losened it's grip...or had she imagined it? Why didnt he say something? What the hell must he think of her now? Finally Jeff spoke. "OK." That was all he could say....ok? That's it, thought Gemma, he thinks Im a slut!
"No actually it's not ok!!" She was almost shouting now. Jeff just looked at her wide eyed, shocked. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.
"Well say something Jeff!"
"What can I say?!" He let out a breath & looked at the celing.
"Jeff Im so confused! Hell I dont even know why Im confused that's how completely screwed up I am!!"
Jeff got up & walked to the other side of the kitchen. He put his hands on the counter & looked out of the window, his back to Gemma.
"Gem you're my best friend & well....I'll stick with you through anything you know that! It's just.....it's....."" he stopped trying to find the right word.
"Shocking?" asked Gemma
Jeff laughed. It was a hard sarcastic laugh that Gemma very rarely heard from him. It scared her. "Well yeah! My two best friends gettin it on, I am a little overwhelmed here Gemma please bare with me while I take this all in!!!!" Gemma sat silent. She didnt know what to say. All she knew was now she wished she hadnt told him.......hell she just wished it hadnt happened at all! He finally turned to face her & crossed his arms over his chest. "Well? You gonna talk to me?" he asked.
"Jeff if I knew what the problem was....but I dont! He's a great guy & we had a good time....but well... that's it! I dont know how I feel right now!" she looked across the room at the guy she had known for so many years of her life & she longed for him to hold her & tell her everything was gonna be fine. They looked at each other for what seemed like forever, then Gemma broke the silence.
"He left me a note!"
"And?"
"Well here read it yourself!" Gemma took the note from her pocket & threw it on the table. Jeff came over & picked it up, he gave her a sideways flance before he unfolded the paper.
"I shouldnt be reading this shit! He's my friend too!" but he read it anyway.
Jeff slumped down into the chair beside Gemma so hard it made her jump! He threw down the note & took hold of her hand.
"Jesus girl! You really went & did it this time!"
"Tell me about it!"
"OK so I take it you're not as keen as Shane yeah?"
"No...well I dunno Jeff that's the problem! Half of me is sayin he's a great guy go for it & the other half is sayin..." She paused but Jeff finished her sentance for her.
"He's not the one right?"
"Does that sound fucked up or what?" Gemma's tears welled up again & she let one roll down her cheek. Jeff wiped it away.
"No no it's not fucked up babde! What am I gonna do with you huh?" They both smiled.
"Jeff what am I gonna do? How do I deal with this without hurting Shane?"
"I dont know. I cant tell you! You have to understand that Im kinda in the middle here ya know? I mean if I tell you how to handle this it isnt fair on Shane!"
"Im sorry!" whispered Gemma "Im so so sorry! I didnt mean for this to happen!" She started to cry.
"Hey come on! It's not so bad!" Jeff took her in his arms "We'll survive..somehow we always do!"
The door opened & Matt walked in. Gemma quickly wiped her face, she felt a little embarrassed. Matt looked at the two of them.
"What's goin on?" He asked "Everything ok?"
"Yeah errm Gemma's just a little upset about going back to college on Wednesday!"
"Oh babe I know what the problem is!" grinned MAtt & for a moment Gemma thought he really did know! He came over & put his arm around her shoulders "You just cant stand to be away from my gorgeous body!"
"Oh Matt! Bite me!" said Gemma. they all laughed. 'Typical Matt' thought Gemma,'always knows how to make me laugh when Im about to throw myself under the nearest train!' She did love Matt! She loved both of them, they were like family to her! She considdered herself to be the luckiest girl in the world to have these two as surrogate brothers & hoped nothing would ever change the way they felt about each other, she knew she just couldnt live without them.