Chapter 10
So Gemma had speant the day at the Hardy's house & it had been just like old times! They talked & laughed for hours about their old tapes that she had filmed in their rooms or out in the yard. Matt had managed to find one of them so they watched it & man was it bad!! They had all ended up crying from laughing so much! It made Gemma realise how much she missed those days, so much so, she was trying to think of a way she could study closer to home.
There was a knock on the door.
"I'll get it!" Matt jumped up & went to answer it. Gemma could hear voices but she couldnt make out who it was.
"Found this stray wandering up the path, she belong to anyone?! " It was Shane with Macey. Jeff shot a worried glance at Gemma but she just looked away.Jeff got up to greet Macey while Gemma looked on.
"Hey there gorgeous!" He said as he swept her up into his arms & passionately kissed her "Didnt expect you til later!"
"Oh yeah?" said Macey smiling, "Have I spoilled all your fun?"
"Dont be a dope!" laughed Jeff. 'Yes you have!' thought Gemma then quickly pushed the thought aside.
"Hey babe!" Said Shane as he went over to Gemma & kissed her. He had aimed for her lips but Gemma managed to turn her cheek towards him just in time.
"Hi Shane!
"Everything ok Gem?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face. Gemma looked up to see another glance from Jeff.
"Yeah Im fine! Im still a bit hung over I guess!"
"Well it was a great night last night huh?" he said as he sat beside her & put his arm around her shoulders.
"Oh....erm....yeah Shane. It was.....great." Gemma felt sick. She didnt want to hurt Shane, he was such a nice guy & she felt like a top class bitch especially with Jeff's piercing stares everytime she looked up. She felt trapped, claustrophobic, she had to get out of there fast!
"Shane d'ya feel like taking a walk?" She asked, not daring to look at Jeff as she could feel his stare going right through her!
"Aw man I just got here!" laughed Shane "But if you wanna go we'll go!"
Gemma stood up. She kissed Jeff on the cheek & he grabbed her hand & squeezed it really hard. They forced a smile at each other & said their goodbyes. On their way out Gemma stopped to hug Matt. He patted Shane on the back then said something Gemma could've slapped him for!
"Hey dude! You be careful with her or you'll have me after you! Look after her wont you?!"
Shane laughed! "sure thing Matt, but she has enough big brothers to take care of her...or me for that matter!!" They both laughed but Gemma just looked at Matt & quietly said...."Never enough brothers!"
Matt gave her a puzzled look & she just shrugged her shoulders & walked out of the door after shane.
Once outside Shane took her hand. It was a warm sunny day & under any other circumstances Gemma would have enjoyed the walk, but at that moment she felt all churned up inside, desperately trying to think of some words to start off this doomed conversation! They kept walking hand in hand until they came to a small group of trees & sat down in the shade.
"Gemma, did I do something wrong?"
"What makes you say that? No you didnt do anything wrong Shane honestly!"
"It's just...well you seem a little quiet I guess I just wondered if it was something I did?"
"Believe me Shane you havent done anything...it's just me that's all....just me!" Gemma looked up at the sky & sighed. How was she gonna do this? How could she do this to such a sweet guy? Why the hell had she let it go so far before trying to stop it? Her head was in a whirl & she just wished this hadnt happened at all.
"Can you tell me what's wrong then? I mean is there anything I can do to help?" Shane asked.
"No it's just....oh Shane it's so.......I cant explain.......it's just that......."
"You want to break up right?" Shane looked at her. Her heart melted. He looked so worried, so hurt.
"Shane....I......look it's nothing you've done believe me! You are such a great guy & we had a lot of fun last night & I do care about you really I do but...well...I guess I dont feel the same about this as you do!"
"Well what can I do to make it better? Am I too overpowering? Do you need more space cuz I can back off Gemma you just say the word! What Gem? What?" He took both of her hands in his & looked at her pleadingly. Gemma wanted to cry. She'd never felt so bad in her life.
"Really Shane it isnt you! I dont know what it is, it's just me....it's just.."
"It's just Im not Jeff right?"
Gemma gasped! She looked at Shane with her eyes wide! Had he just said that?!
"WHAT?" She was astounded he could even think such a thing never mind say it out loud!! Shane rubbed his face & looked to the sky smiling.
"Oh come on Gemma! We can all see it! I bet even Jeff knows it deep down! You're in love with the guy!!" He laughed sarcastically "I mean I knew it ya know! That's the stupid fucked up thing! I knew all along but I thought NO, she really likes me, not Jeff! HA!! That's a laugh!!"
"SHANE! Woah! Hold it right there!" Gemma stood up. She was now starting to lose her temper. "What in God's name made you think that huh?! TELL ME!! Dammit Shane I cant believe you'd say that shit!!"
"It's ok Gem, I knew it all along so all of this is my own stupid fault! I mean the way you look at Jeff.....I was stupid to think....hope you looked at me that way!"
"Oh now come on Shane! That is not fair at all! Yes I love Jeff - he's like a brother to me! He's my best friend! Dammit Im not IN love with him!!" She turned away "I had hoped we could still be friends Shane, me & you but if you're gonna throw this crazy shit in my face I guess I was wrong!!" she started to walk away. She was shaking! She just wanted to go home & hide from the world. She could hear Shane was following her.
"Gemma! Gem! Wait! Im sorry!"
"Leave me alone Shane!"
"NO! I wont leave you like this! You're right, Im being an asshole! Im sorry! Gemma! WAIT PLEASE!!"
She stopped but didnt turn around. Shane caught up to her. He turned her around to face him & she looked up at him through her tears. He pulled her toward him but she pulled back.
"Hey come on!" he pulled again & this time she didnt resist. She let his arms surround her while she sobbed into his chest.
"im so sorry Shane!" She whispered
"So am I babe! Believe me, so am I!"
So Gemma had speant the day at the Hardy's house & it had been just like old times! They talked & laughed for hours about their old tapes that she had filmed in their rooms or out in the yard. Matt had managed to find one of them so they watched it & man was it bad!! They had all ended up crying from laughing so much! It made Gemma realise how much she missed those days, so much so, she was trying to think of a way she could study closer to home.
There was a knock on the door.
"I'll get it!" Matt jumped up & went to answer it. Gemma could hear voices but she couldnt make out who it was.
"Found this stray wandering up the path, she belong to anyone?! " It was Shane with Macey. Jeff shot a worried glance at Gemma but she just looked away.Jeff got up to greet Macey while Gemma looked on.
"Hey there gorgeous!" He said as he swept her up into his arms & passionately kissed her "Didnt expect you til later!"
"Oh yeah?" said Macey smiling, "Have I spoilled all your fun?"
"Dont be a dope!" laughed Jeff. 'Yes you have!' thought Gemma then quickly pushed the thought aside.
"Hey babe!" Said Shane as he went over to Gemma & kissed her. He had aimed for her lips but Gemma managed to turn her cheek towards him just in time.
"Hi Shane!
"Everything ok Gem?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face. Gemma looked up to see another glance from Jeff.
"Yeah Im fine! Im still a bit hung over I guess!"
"Well it was a great night last night huh?" he said as he sat beside her & put his arm around her shoulders.
"Oh....erm....yeah Shane. It was.....great." Gemma felt sick. She didnt want to hurt Shane, he was such a nice guy & she felt like a top class bitch especially with Jeff's piercing stares everytime she looked up. She felt trapped, claustrophobic, she had to get out of there fast!
"Shane d'ya feel like taking a walk?" She asked, not daring to look at Jeff as she could feel his stare going right through her!
"Aw man I just got here!" laughed Shane "But if you wanna go we'll go!"
Gemma stood up. She kissed Jeff on the cheek & he grabbed her hand & squeezed it really hard. They forced a smile at each other & said their goodbyes. On their way out Gemma stopped to hug Matt. He patted Shane on the back then said something Gemma could've slapped him for!
"Hey dude! You be careful with her or you'll have me after you! Look after her wont you?!"
Shane laughed! "sure thing Matt, but she has enough big brothers to take care of her...or me for that matter!!" They both laughed but Gemma just looked at Matt & quietly said...."Never enough brothers!"
Matt gave her a puzzled look & she just shrugged her shoulders & walked out of the door after shane.
Once outside Shane took her hand. It was a warm sunny day & under any other circumstances Gemma would have enjoyed the walk, but at that moment she felt all churned up inside, desperately trying to think of some words to start off this doomed conversation! They kept walking hand in hand until they came to a small group of trees & sat down in the shade.
"Gemma, did I do something wrong?"
"What makes you say that? No you didnt do anything wrong Shane honestly!"
"It's just...well you seem a little quiet I guess I just wondered if it was something I did?"
"Believe me Shane you havent done anything...it's just me that's all....just me!" Gemma looked up at the sky & sighed. How was she gonna do this? How could she do this to such a sweet guy? Why the hell had she let it go so far before trying to stop it? Her head was in a whirl & she just wished this hadnt happened at all.
"Can you tell me what's wrong then? I mean is there anything I can do to help?" Shane asked.
"No it's just....oh Shane it's so.......I cant explain.......it's just that......."
"You want to break up right?" Shane looked at her. Her heart melted. He looked so worried, so hurt.
"Shane....I......look it's nothing you've done believe me! You are such a great guy & we had a lot of fun last night & I do care about you really I do but...well...I guess I dont feel the same about this as you do!"
"Well what can I do to make it better? Am I too overpowering? Do you need more space cuz I can back off Gemma you just say the word! What Gem? What?" He took both of her hands in his & looked at her pleadingly. Gemma wanted to cry. She'd never felt so bad in her life.
"Really Shane it isnt you! I dont know what it is, it's just me....it's just.."
"It's just Im not Jeff right?"
Gemma gasped! She looked at Shane with her eyes wide! Had he just said that?!
"WHAT?" She was astounded he could even think such a thing never mind say it out loud!! Shane rubbed his face & looked to the sky smiling.
"Oh come on Gemma! We can all see it! I bet even Jeff knows it deep down! You're in love with the guy!!" He laughed sarcastically "I mean I knew it ya know! That's the stupid fucked up thing! I knew all along but I thought NO, she really likes me, not Jeff! HA!! That's a laugh!!"
"SHANE! Woah! Hold it right there!" Gemma stood up. She was now starting to lose her temper. "What in God's name made you think that huh?! TELL ME!! Dammit Shane I cant believe you'd say that shit!!"
"It's ok Gem, I knew it all along so all of this is my own stupid fault! I mean the way you look at Jeff.....I was stupid to think....hope you looked at me that way!"
"Oh now come on Shane! That is not fair at all! Yes I love Jeff - he's like a brother to me! He's my best friend! Dammit Im not IN love with him!!" She turned away "I had hoped we could still be friends Shane, me & you but if you're gonna throw this crazy shit in my face I guess I was wrong!!" she started to walk away. She was shaking! She just wanted to go home & hide from the world. She could hear Shane was following her.
"Gemma! Gem! Wait! Im sorry!"
"Leave me alone Shane!"
"NO! I wont leave you like this! You're right, Im being an asshole! Im sorry! Gemma! WAIT PLEASE!!"
She stopped but didnt turn around. Shane caught up to her. He turned her around to face him & she looked up at him through her tears. He pulled her toward him but she pulled back.
"Hey come on!" he pulled again & this time she didnt resist. She let his arms surround her while she sobbed into his chest.
"im so sorry Shane!" She whispered
"So am I babe! Believe me, so am I!"