Innocence Lost to Darkness
Disclaimer: I don't own Vierna Zaknafein, Menzoberranzan or Matron Malice. They belong to RA Salvatore. The Song is Acoustic #3 by the Goo Goo Dolls and also doesn't belong to me.
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Vierna Do'Urden sat with her knees drawn up to her chest and her head cradled in her hands in the surrounding area near Arach-Tinlith. In human years she would have been approaching adulthood but here, in the lightless caverns of the drow, she was barely more than a child. Only a few weeks before had she been brought to begin her education in the ways of the Priestesses of Lolth and only now had she found enough spare time to be by herself, to think her own thoughts without the icons of the Spider Queen bearing down at her.
The painted up you secrets, with the lies they told to you
And the least they ever gave you
Was the most you ever knew
She knew what she had to do. She had to learn as quickly as she could, become the best so as to bring more power to House Do'Urden.
But she hated it here! Her mind cried out that this was wrong, that the Spider Queen was an evil deity, why else would people fear her so much? One look at Menzoberranzan showed that if their deity had brought them this, then they should cast her out.
It went against everything she had been taught all her life to think these blasphemous thoughts about Lolth. She blanched slightly at the thought of the goddess somehow reading her mind and shuddered, hugging her legs close to her body.
And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
She wanted to get out, to leave Menzoberranzan, but where would she go? To the surface, where evil faeries and the sun awaited. Even staying in Menzoberranzan seemed a better fate then those.
*They drove us out!* A voice hissed in the back of her mind, as she remembered all the lessons she had been taught about the surface elves. They would not accept her, a drow.
What's the point in all this screaming?
No one's listening anyway
Once, when she was very small, she had gone up to her mother and asked her why things were the way they were. Her mother had explained with pride that it was thanks to the power of Lolth that things were like this. When Vierna had asked why that was good, her mother's eyes had flashed and the snake whip had been out to deliver a single stinging blow before young Vierna could react. Never had she questioned the spider queen aloud again.
Your voice is small and fading
And you hide in here unknown
And you mother loves your father
'Cause she's got no where to go
"I hate this place," Vierna sniffled to herself. The only person who seemed to understand her was the weapon's master, Zaknafein, but they had never spoken. But sometimes when she would look around in utter disgust as a drow would, for no apparent reason, kill a kobold or even another drow, she would see him out of the corner of her eye, nodding gravely, his eyes filled with the same anger.
She knew the weapon master was her mother's consort now. Did her mother really love him, or not? Maybe her mother had been like Vierna long ago, and maybe that's why she had chosen Zaknafein. Maybe she knew how much the Weapon Master hated Menzoberranzan as Vierna knew.
And she wonders where these dreams go
'Cause the world got in her way
What's the point in ever trying
Nothing's changing anyway
If her mother had ever been like her, Vierna knew that it was Lolth that had changed her. But was it for the worst? How could one survive in the Underdark if you were not ruthless and did not have a ruthless deity?
They press their lips against you
And you love the lies they say
And I tried so hard to reach you
But you're falling anyway
*Yes, that was it,* she thought. Perhaps embracing Lolth was the only way. If Vierna did she would no longer be alone, no longer flinch when drow and lesser creatures were killed. She would no longer have to care.
She looked at the majestic spires of Arach-Tinlith, deciding she no longer wanted to be the odd one out. She *would* study the ways of Lolth and she *would* bring honor to House Daermon Nashezbaernon and she would survive.
And you know I see right through you
When the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screamin'
You're not listening anyway
From the shadows outside the high fenced area Zak watched as Vierna walked back towards Arach-Tinlith with determined strides. The same smile he often saw on Matron Malice's face across her lips. Inside he wept, knowing he had just lost his daughter.
A/N: The first version of this was squashed with a lot of grammatical errors so I finally decided to trim it up a bit. Please review, its so disheartening when one only gets a few and I'm in a bit of a fan fiction-flunk right now with Fallen from Grace. Recommendations, ideas and constructive criticism very much welcomed. Again, please review and thanks to everyone who did on the first posting!
Disclaimer: I don't own Vierna Zaknafein, Menzoberranzan or Matron Malice. They belong to RA Salvatore. The Song is Acoustic #3 by the Goo Goo Dolls and also doesn't belong to me.
----------
Vierna Do'Urden sat with her knees drawn up to her chest and her head cradled in her hands in the surrounding area near Arach-Tinlith. In human years she would have been approaching adulthood but here, in the lightless caverns of the drow, she was barely more than a child. Only a few weeks before had she been brought to begin her education in the ways of the Priestesses of Lolth and only now had she found enough spare time to be by herself, to think her own thoughts without the icons of the Spider Queen bearing down at her.
The painted up you secrets, with the lies they told to you
And the least they ever gave you
Was the most you ever knew
She knew what she had to do. She had to learn as quickly as she could, become the best so as to bring more power to House Do'Urden.
But she hated it here! Her mind cried out that this was wrong, that the Spider Queen was an evil deity, why else would people fear her so much? One look at Menzoberranzan showed that if their deity had brought them this, then they should cast her out.
It went against everything she had been taught all her life to think these blasphemous thoughts about Lolth. She blanched slightly at the thought of the goddess somehow reading her mind and shuddered, hugging her legs close to her body.
And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
She wanted to get out, to leave Menzoberranzan, but where would she go? To the surface, where evil faeries and the sun awaited. Even staying in Menzoberranzan seemed a better fate then those.
*They drove us out!* A voice hissed in the back of her mind, as she remembered all the lessons she had been taught about the surface elves. They would not accept her, a drow.
What's the point in all this screaming?
No one's listening anyway
Once, when she was very small, she had gone up to her mother and asked her why things were the way they were. Her mother had explained with pride that it was thanks to the power of Lolth that things were like this. When Vierna had asked why that was good, her mother's eyes had flashed and the snake whip had been out to deliver a single stinging blow before young Vierna could react. Never had she questioned the spider queen aloud again.
Your voice is small and fading
And you hide in here unknown
And you mother loves your father
'Cause she's got no where to go
"I hate this place," Vierna sniffled to herself. The only person who seemed to understand her was the weapon's master, Zaknafein, but they had never spoken. But sometimes when she would look around in utter disgust as a drow would, for no apparent reason, kill a kobold or even another drow, she would see him out of the corner of her eye, nodding gravely, his eyes filled with the same anger.
She knew the weapon master was her mother's consort now. Did her mother really love him, or not? Maybe her mother had been like Vierna long ago, and maybe that's why she had chosen Zaknafein. Maybe she knew how much the Weapon Master hated Menzoberranzan as Vierna knew.
And she wonders where these dreams go
'Cause the world got in her way
What's the point in ever trying
Nothing's changing anyway
If her mother had ever been like her, Vierna knew that it was Lolth that had changed her. But was it for the worst? How could one survive in the Underdark if you were not ruthless and did not have a ruthless deity?
They press their lips against you
And you love the lies they say
And I tried so hard to reach you
But you're falling anyway
*Yes, that was it,* she thought. Perhaps embracing Lolth was the only way. If Vierna did she would no longer be alone, no longer flinch when drow and lesser creatures were killed. She would no longer have to care.
She looked at the majestic spires of Arach-Tinlith, deciding she no longer wanted to be the odd one out. She *would* study the ways of Lolth and she *would* bring honor to House Daermon Nashezbaernon and she would survive.
And you know I see right through you
When the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screamin'
You're not listening anyway
From the shadows outside the high fenced area Zak watched as Vierna walked back towards Arach-Tinlith with determined strides. The same smile he often saw on Matron Malice's face across her lips. Inside he wept, knowing he had just lost his daughter.
A/N: The first version of this was squashed with a lot of grammatical errors so I finally decided to trim it up a bit. Please review, its so disheartening when one only gets a few and I'm in a bit of a fan fiction-flunk right now with Fallen from Grace. Recommendations, ideas and constructive criticism very much welcomed. Again, please review and thanks to everyone who did on the first posting!