Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2 so stop rubbing it in............. Also, big thanx to Jaelle and Orla for their inspiration of this fic and review of it to deem it worthy to be published.
The Drinking Game
"This has got to be the most
stupidest thing I have ever heard!" screamed an angry Ryouga.
"C'mon hunn it'll be fun. Besides that. Remember what happened last time we had champagne?" Ukyou tugged on Ryouga's arm. Ryouga fought the tempting urge to have a nosebleed. "Awww c'mon sugar. Everyone else will be there and we haven't seen them in a.."
"Oh alright," Grumbled Ryouga. "But I ain't gonna like it none." So they walked out the door on their way to the Tendo Dojo. Ukyou drove since Ryouga didn't have his license yet. Probably couldn't find his way around the stick-shift.
*******************
"Glad you guys could make it! You guys are the last ones to make it here," Akane bubbled, opening the door for Ryouga and Ukyou.
"Well if Umbrella-boy over here hadn't told me to go right when we were supposed to go left then we would've been here on time," said Ukyou.
"Excuse me Spatula-girl. What I said was Yes left is the right way to go.' I can't help it if you have a horrible sense of direction! And the umbrella I carry is a battling umbrella. Unlike your over-sized flipping ornament that so nicely compliments the flowers on your Capri pants," Ryouga retorted.
"You're the one who couldn't find the stick-shift or the car!"
"I never took Drivers Ed in high school. In fact, I didn't even go to high school!"
Ranma walks in to the sight of Ryouga pointing to Ukyou's black Capri pants with little sunflowers all over them and yelling something about underwear and girls with attitudes. Now this might've shocked you, oh honored readers. It may have shocked your brother or sister. It may have even shocked Ryouga just a few short years ago. But let me remind you guys. This is Nerima and blue lace panties don't have anything on a guy wearing a Furinkan High Cheerleading uniform with his bowl-cut hair in two extremely short pig-tails with a barrage of weapons that American high school students would've recognized as pom-poms, mega-phones, batons, posters, banners, salmon, a few trout, a bag of Doritos and a cheese sandwich. May I remind you this IS Nerima folks.
"Ryouga shut your trap and enjoy the party," said Ranma.
"What party?!? Nabiki, Kasumi, Mousse and Shampoo are playing the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' board game while everyone else is just.sitting here watching me yell my head off." Ryouga turned bright red and sat down. "GET OFF RYOUGA! YOU STILL HAVE THE WORSE SENSE OF DIRECTION ON THIS PLANET!"
"Oh sorry Nabiki. I didn't mean to sit on your head then steal all your fake pretend wanna-be monopoly money."
Kuno looked up from sharpening his bokken and said hi. And Kasumi and Dr. Tofu stepped out of the bathroom and ran into Mr. Lost Boy. Ranma ignores the goofballs around for a minute and tries to grab everyone's attention. "RYOUGA! UKYOU! SHAMPOO! MOUSSE! NABIKI! KUNO! KASUMI! DR. TOFU!" After he got absolutely everyone attention he started to speak like a normal Ranma would. "You're probably wondering why I invited you all here tonight."
"You mean dragged us," muttered Ryouga.
"Well tonight is the seventh anniversary of the first day I spent with the Tendos. So I thought we could celebrate by having a little champagne.." A loud cheer was heard. "..and playing a little game.." And now come the boos and hissing. ".it's a drinking game.." followed by more cheers.
"The rules are that you say something you've never done like I've never ate cat shit before' and anyone who has done it has to drink some champagne. It doesn't have to be the whole glass. You can if you want to but it only has to be slightly more than a sip. Akane get the champagne."
"I can't carry 10 crates of champagne all by myself Ran-chan. Each of you guys carry out two crates of champagne." And they did just that.
A few minutes later everything was set up to play. "I'll go first. I've never been so stupid as to pretend to be an animal just for my own selfish reasons." Stated Ranma. Ryouga, Shampoo, and Mousse all reached for their glasses.
"I'll go next. I've never stolen someone's underwear and worn it." Akane watched as Ryouga, Kuno, and Nabiki all took a sip.
"My turn. I've never kissed someone of the same sex." Ryouga looked at Ranma.
"That's no fair! I was a girl at the time!"
"Yeah it counts."
"Damnit." Ranma drank out of his glass.
"I'm next. I've never tried to seduce someone by pretending I was interested in their best friend." Ukyou glanced as Kasumi drank. Everyone gasps and a faint Oh my' is heard.
*******************
"I've never used whipped cream for anything else than cooking." Shampoo, Mousse, Nabiki, Kuna, Ranma, and Akane all drank.
"Do they have a camera in our house or what," Ranma muttered.
"I've never went about ranting and raving while waving a stick in the air." Kuno drinks. Everyone snickers.
"I've never been beaten up by someone and then fell in love with them." Shampoo, Mousse and Kuno all drank.
"I've never picked my nose and ate it." Ryouga drinks.
"EEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!"
"Well excuse me for living on the streets and being hungry," he retorted.
*******************
"I've never had sex with Ryouga." Ryouga sputters and spits his champagne all over everyone. No scandals here although I did LIE
"I've never turned into a pig named P-chan." Ryouga drinks and glares at Ranma.
"I've never insulted someone till they cried their eyes out just because I loved them!" Ranma, Akane and Shampoo all drink.
"I've never used chocolate for...."
"Damn they do have cameras in our house."
*******************
"Shampoo never give one she love Kiss of Death."
"Does it count if you didn't love them at the time?"
"YES!" Nabiki, Akane and Ranma all drank.
"hic-cup"
"I've never *hic-cup* did anything illegal." Sipping of the glasses is heard around the table.
*******************
"I've never had *hic-cup* sex in the kitchen." Ranma and Akane drink.
"I wish you'd stop with the mind reading."
"I've never told the one I love to kill me or hit me." Akane and Mousse drink
"I've never lied."
"That's a lie right there!"
"Is not!"
"*hic-cup* Is too!"
"Ish kot!!"
"Uncle Ben's Mini Bowls!"
"What?"
"Never mind"
*******************
"I *burp* never used the furo *burp* for anything other than a bath."
"I SAID GET THE CAMERAS OUT!!!" Ranma, Akane, Shampoo and Nabiki drink.
"Why Ryouga get nosebleed?"
"AHHHH! MY *burp* WHITE CARPET!!!!"
"I've never been locked outside in my underwear." Shampoo & Nabiki drink.
"Did I mention I married Kuno," burped a drunken Nabiki.
"Yes."
"I'm wearing blue lace panties."
"Shampoo not wear bra!"
"Is that an I've Never statement?"
"Yes." All the girls except Shampoo drink.
*******************
"*hic-cup* I've *hic-up* never *hic-cup* had fantasies *hic-cup* about a cartoon character." Ranma, Kuno and Kasumi drink.
"Hey I was 10 give me a break."
"Which cartoon character was it?"
"*hic-cup* Batman..."
"KASUMI!!!!"
"What I'm entitled to be a child when I was ten."
"I never lied about money." Not surprisingly though, Kuno and Nabiki drank.
"Shampoo never glomp thorny rose bush." I think we all know who drank.
"I said I wasn't wearing my glasses."
"Yeah but after that you hug Shampoo and get thorns stuck in HER too."
"Opps. Gomen Shampoo."
*******************
"I've never gotten drunk *hiccup hiccup hiccup hiccup hiccup* *passes out*"
"Does that count since Kasumi passed out?"
"Naw I guess it doesn't."
*Ryouga gets hit by a massive falling trout*
"ACK!!!"
"Where'd that come from?"
"I dunno. Hammerspace maybe?"
*******************
By now almost everyone had passed out except for Shampoo, Mousse, Ranma, Akane, Kuno and Nabiki. Even Ryouga had kicked it.
"I've never stolen anything." Nabiki drinks, obviously.
"Pasta lasta nasta rasta kasta basta wasta!"
"Excuse Shampoo? What you say?"
"I say oasta lasta nasta rasta kasta basta wasta!"
"And what that mean?"
"I dunno. Ask Akane she made it up."
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Yuck foo!"
*gets hit with massive falling trout*
"ACK!!!"
*******************
"Shampoo think maybe stop playing game. Only four people left and most get hit by massize falling trout. Is turning out very dangerous."
*gets hit by massive falling Christmas tree*
"ACK!!!"
"Shampoo my darling are you alright?"
"I'm not Shampoo," growled Ranma.
"Oh sorry Saotome." He adjusted his glasses.
"Why you think Ranma girl form is Shampoo?" *climbs from under Christmas tree glaring*
"I wasn't wearing my glasses?"
"Is okay Shampoo forgive silly Mousse." *huggles*
*******************
"When is we gonna stop playing? Shampoo is getting bored of game."
"How dare you insult my Shampoo Saotome?!?" Mousse cried out. *gets hit by massive falling trout* "ACK!!!"
"Mousse is such silly man for standing under trout. Why you be so stupid Mousse?"
"Hey I am not stupid! You're the baka Shampoo!"
"Nobody call Shampoo baka and get away with it." *glares*
"Ah stop your pipsqueaking both of ya'll."
Ryouga wakes up and mistakes Mousse yelling at Ukyou, who is fast asleep.
"MOUSSE PREPARE TO DIE!!!"
"What'd I do?"
"Ryouga if you Shi Shi Hokodan the house Kasumi'll get angry and we don't wanna see an angry Kasumi."
*shrinks back* "You're right"
*******************
"Shampoo wish Mousse would stop getting hit by massive falling trout."
*Mousse gets hit by a massive falling cat*
"C-c-c-cat!!!" *Ranma goes Neko-ken and eats up all the trout*
"Shampoo sop insulting me!"
"Is not Shampoo's fault Mousse and Shampoo going out since be 17 and Mousse still not ask to get married!!!!!"
"WHAT?!?"
"Shampoo wish Mousse just shut up and ask to marry her...."
"Fine then. Shampoo will you marry me?"
"Not you stupid Ranma!" *hits him with bonbori* "Shampoo was talking to Mousse."
"Shampoo are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Shampoo darling I love you. Will you marry me?"
"Oh Mousse you make Shampoo so happy! I never wanna leave you!"
"Hey Shampoo used a pronoun!"
*couple gets hit by a massive falling Christmas tree*
The End
Author: And thus ends the story of The Drinking Game. The concept of massive falling Christmas trees, cats and trouts are strange. But do I have to remind you folks? This IS Nerima afterall. *waves bye bye*
Ranma: Say, when'd you get here?
Author: When the story was done.
Ranma: Oh. *gets hit by a massive falling trout* ACK!!!!!