Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They belong to NBC. The lyrics belong to Geoff Moore & the Distance
If You Could See
Chapter Five: That A Treasure's What You Are
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And you would know that you have my heart, If you could see what I see. That a treasure's what you are, If you could see what I see. Created to be the only one for me, If you could see…
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John had told her on several occasions that he loved her. Deb had always responded by showing him how much she loved him, but the words never seemed to come.
Tonight's proposal had forced this issue to the forefront of their relationship. John loved everything about this woman and how easy it was with her. It wasn't a root canal trying to read her or get to know her. In fact, John bet he knew Deb far better than she thought he did.
Deb had always been self-sufficient and strong on the surface, but as her best friend and lover, John knew she didn't see what an amazing woman she was. It was like that with most people. Somehow, it always took someone on the outside to make you understand how others saw you.
Deb had been his 'someone'. She made John see someone worthwhile to talk to and to love. Deb had made John understand that underneath his Ph.D., money and boyish charm, there was a man worth loving. Deb made him understand that that was the reason she loved him. Though she was a woman of few words, at least in matters dealing with her heart, Deb still managed to let John see himself through her eyes.
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"John, you can still back out. I mean," she bit her lip, "we could just forget it."
Jing Mei held her breath for his answer. Part of her wanted him to agree, but part of her didn't know what she would do if John did agree. The offer hung in the midst of the night's silence. She tried to read John's thoughts as she gazed into his soft brown eyes.
"Deb," John whispered softly as he caressed her cheek. "No."
Jing Mei felt relief mixed in with slight anxiety. Was she ready for this?
Jing Mei bit the corner of her mouth. Could she say yes? She closed her eyes and let her thoughts wash over her.
He doesn't know you! Not the real you. You haven't told him how you feel about him. He's just living with a dream. You are not the person he's fallen in love with. How could you be that person?
Jing Mei shook her head. 'Stop!' she screamed inside.
"Deb?" John's voice broke into the compounding insecurities and fears. "Are you okay?"
Jing Mei peered up at John with tears in her eyes. "E can't John…" Jing Mei began to explain why she couldn't marry him, but suddenly he interrupted her.
"If you're about to tell me that I don't really know you and that there's a million reasons why this can't work, let me tell you Dr. Chen you're wrong," John said sternly.
Jing Mei tried to pull away but John only tightened his grip around her waist. "I see you Deb. I've always seen you. Well, okay, maybe not when I was on that Abby kick, but after that…" John joked. Suddenly his face became serious again. "Do you really think I could tell you I love you without really seeing you?"
Jing Mei swallowed hard. "I…I don't know John."
This time as she pulled away from John, he released his hold on her. "I love you because you really see me Deb. You know me." John took a breath and continued. "Everyone tried to put me in some sort of mold or cast me in a certain role that they thought I should play. You let me be who I was. You dug beneath all the people I was playing and found me."
Jing mei closed her eyes and listened to his soft urgent voice, pleading for her to believe she was someone who deserved him. "John, I didn't…I wasn't the one who did those things," she argued. "I wasn't all of those things to you. How could I be?"
Suddenly Jing Mei felt herself being turned around. "Deb," John looked at seriously, "I couldn't see myself anymore. Underneath the recovering drug addict, the rich boy, the guy who couldn't keep a relationship going if his life depended on it. Now I can see myself through your eyes, the real me. Now I'm telling you, you are the one who can't see herself."
Jing Mei pulled against the grasp John had on her, not hard, but resisting the flood of words flowing through her head.
"You are the most patient, kind and gentle person I know. You are also stubborn, and pig-headed."
Jing Mei raised one eyebrow at the last comment. "Is that supposed to convince me I should marry you?" Jing Mei asked incredulously.
"No Deb," John shook his head realizing how he must have sounded. "I mean, you are stubborn when it comes to seeing yourself. I told you, or anyone else told you, that any man would be lucky to have you, you'd shrug it off."
Jing Mei listened tentatively, "So?" she replied defiantly.
"But you wouldn't believe them would you? Just like you don't believe that I could love you, the real you." John's eyebrow rose to make his point.
"No," Jing Mei said slowly. "I mean you don't understand John. I don't think you really know me. I'm not all those things you've described, except maybe the stubborn part." Jing Mei sighed. Then trying to lighten the mood she added, "I refuse to be called pig-headed."
John grinned and shook his head. "You can refuse, but you're still pig-headed," he laughed. "But that is not the point."
Jing Mei smiled faintly and hit him playfully on the chest. "Then what is?"
Jing Mei crossed her arms across her chest and tapped her index finger on her forearm. "John, I'm not perfect, not even close. And I'm not this woman that all men lust after and chase."
John nodded slightly, reaching out to grasp her arm. He led her a little ways down the park to an opening where a large water fountain was lit by floodlights within the fountain. It glowed in the night sky.
Jing Mei sat down when John motioned to the edge of the fountain. "I know you're not perfect and I know you're not every man's dream girl," John admitted hesitantly, "although I think they're just insane!"
Jing Mei shook her head in amusement. "Keep talking John, you're on a role here," Jing Mei sighed, exhausted.
"But," John paused, "You're mine, so it doesn't matter."
Jing Mei found herself holding her breath again. She let a breath out and tilted her head back to look at the night sky.
"Deb don't fight it. Stop being so scared. I thank God every night for bringing you into my life."
Jing Mei smirked and finally found her voice. "You don't believe in God John."
He winked at her. "You do have that affect on me. I'm doing and saying things I never dreamt I would be able to say."
"Oh John," Jing Mei sighed, catching her breath. Jing Mei put her hand to her mouth and let the tears slide down her cheek. Leaning forward their heads touched as they peered into each other's eyes. "How can you love me so much?"
"It's easy," John whispered. "So very easy."
Jing Mei closed her eyes as his warm lips touched her forehead in a lingering kiss.
You guys like? How do you think it's coming? I don't know if I'm doing justice to the song though. Pls R&R!