Truth Out Of Darkness
Chapter 48
Plop. She sat on the pier and watched the waves radiate outward in concentric circles growing ever larger. A small piece of wood bobbed up and down with the waves. She threw another pebble in the water and watched the waves form again, amazed how such a small stone affects such a large amount of water. Ripple effect. She laughed sardonically. Waves as metaphor for life.
Chloe thought of her own life. She was still being rocked by waves, affected by the stone that hit her three years ago. Granted, the stone was no small pebble but a giant boulder, creating tidal waves that crashed down over her life and everything in it.
She sighed deeply. {Come on Chloe – you will get over this.} She watched as the surface of the water became calm once more, still and serene. All that Chloe was not.
Just beneath the surface, she was rocked by unceasing visions; his hands traveling down her stomach, moving up between her legs. Worse than the memories were the feelings of shame and guilt that accompanied them. Because she never fought him. She should have done something. But she didn't – she let him rape her. {It's all my fault} a tiny voice said in her head.
It's why she reacted so violently to her dreams. She was acting out her anger, rage at what he did to her, what he took from her. In her dreams she does what she wanted to do then – she kicks and screams, scratches and hits.
With an effort, she pushed away the painful memories and instead focused on pleasant ones. Foremost in her mind was Brady. She brought to mind the ball. Had it been only two days ago? It felt like a lifetime ago that they were laughing, dancing, kissing. She had been amazed that he kissed her; even more amazed at her response. She had never felt that way, both safe and dangerous. She smiled, remembering his kiss. It had been both soft and rough. Gentle and demanding. The sheer force of his desire for her and frightened her, yet she also felt secure, knowing that Brady would never hurt her, never force her to do anything she didn't want to, wasn't ready for.
{That's why he waited so long to tell me his feelings.} the thought hit her with blinding clarity. {Because I wasn't ready for him.} She thought back on their relationship, their friendship. Remembered how he always hung back, concentrating fully on just being her friend. She recalled the few times he had seemed on the verge of opening up, of saying something – only to change the subject.
{He was waiting for me to get over Phillip. He let me decide on my own, without trying to force me or manipulate me.} She began to see Brady in a new light. He truly loved her – he had always loved her. Their past, their friendship, the time they spent together last summer – all took on a whole new meaning.
{So where do we go from here?}{If I let what 'father' did to me keep Brady and me apart, then he wins – it means he's still controlling me, still affecting me.} Chloe felt her backbone stiffen as liquid steel flowed down her spine. {No.} she thought with a steely resolve. {Brady and I have come too far, gone through too much crap for me to give up now. Because of something that happened to me years ago.}
She looked up into the sky. She set her jaw, a fierce determination in her cold blue eyes. {I am stronger than this. I will get through it. We both will.} She smiled to herself and resolved to go home and call Brady. She knew it would take her along time to feel comfortable in a relationship, but she also knew that just talking to Brady, hearing his voice, would make her feel better.
As she got up to leave the pier, she heard a heavy footstep behind her. She whirled around to see a dark figure cloaked in shadow.
"Brady?" she called out, fear suddenly trickling through her.
The dark figure stepped out into the sunlight. The bright light lit up his features instantly and recognition hit her with the force of a wrecking ball.
"You." She said softly, her breath catching in her throat. Then it all came rushing back to her. The phone calls, the flowers, the message in her locker, the mask in her room. She was paralyzed by fear; her feet lead weights, her head spinning. She dimly saw him advance on her through her blurred vision.
"Yes, Chloe. It's your father."
She swayed once and then fell into darkness.
Chapter 48
Plop. She sat on the pier and watched the waves radiate outward in concentric circles growing ever larger. A small piece of wood bobbed up and down with the waves. She threw another pebble in the water and watched the waves form again, amazed how such a small stone affects such a large amount of water. Ripple effect. She laughed sardonically. Waves as metaphor for life.
Chloe thought of her own life. She was still being rocked by waves, affected by the stone that hit her three years ago. Granted, the stone was no small pebble but a giant boulder, creating tidal waves that crashed down over her life and everything in it.
She sighed deeply. {Come on Chloe – you will get over this.} She watched as the surface of the water became calm once more, still and serene. All that Chloe was not.
Just beneath the surface, she was rocked by unceasing visions; his hands traveling down her stomach, moving up between her legs. Worse than the memories were the feelings of shame and guilt that accompanied them. Because she never fought him. She should have done something. But she didn't – she let him rape her. {It's all my fault} a tiny voice said in her head.
It's why she reacted so violently to her dreams. She was acting out her anger, rage at what he did to her, what he took from her. In her dreams she does what she wanted to do then – she kicks and screams, scratches and hits.
With an effort, she pushed away the painful memories and instead focused on pleasant ones. Foremost in her mind was Brady. She brought to mind the ball. Had it been only two days ago? It felt like a lifetime ago that they were laughing, dancing, kissing. She had been amazed that he kissed her; even more amazed at her response. She had never felt that way, both safe and dangerous. She smiled, remembering his kiss. It had been both soft and rough. Gentle and demanding. The sheer force of his desire for her and frightened her, yet she also felt secure, knowing that Brady would never hurt her, never force her to do anything she didn't want to, wasn't ready for.
{That's why he waited so long to tell me his feelings.} the thought hit her with blinding clarity. {Because I wasn't ready for him.} She thought back on their relationship, their friendship. Remembered how he always hung back, concentrating fully on just being her friend. She recalled the few times he had seemed on the verge of opening up, of saying something – only to change the subject.
{He was waiting for me to get over Phillip. He let me decide on my own, without trying to force me or manipulate me.} She began to see Brady in a new light. He truly loved her – he had always loved her. Their past, their friendship, the time they spent together last summer – all took on a whole new meaning.
{So where do we go from here?}{If I let what 'father' did to me keep Brady and me apart, then he wins – it means he's still controlling me, still affecting me.} Chloe felt her backbone stiffen as liquid steel flowed down her spine. {No.} she thought with a steely resolve. {Brady and I have come too far, gone through too much crap for me to give up now. Because of something that happened to me years ago.}
She looked up into the sky. She set her jaw, a fierce determination in her cold blue eyes. {I am stronger than this. I will get through it. We both will.} She smiled to herself and resolved to go home and call Brady. She knew it would take her along time to feel comfortable in a relationship, but she also knew that just talking to Brady, hearing his voice, would make her feel better.
As she got up to leave the pier, she heard a heavy footstep behind her. She whirled around to see a dark figure cloaked in shadow.
"Brady?" she called out, fear suddenly trickling through her.
The dark figure stepped out into the sunlight. The bright light lit up his features instantly and recognition hit her with the force of a wrecking ball.
"You." She said softly, her breath catching in her throat. Then it all came rushing back to her. The phone calls, the flowers, the message in her locker, the mask in her room. She was paralyzed by fear; her feet lead weights, her head spinning. She dimly saw him advance on her through her blurred vision.
"Yes, Chloe. It's your father."
She swayed once and then fell into darkness.