Batgirl scanned the familiar darkness of the cave with a growing sense of puzzlement. The armory and practice range was empty. So too were the garage, the trophy area, and the sparring ring. The main computer banks, though, contained Alfred.
"Where is he?" She demanded.
The kindly old man looked up at her with eyes hollowed by horror, marked with madness, and glazed with some word beginning with G that's synonimous with horror or madness. In short, he looked like hell.
"I do not know, Mistress Cassandra. I simply do not know. Perhaps at a movie theater, watching some science fiction film. Perhaps in some den of iniquity playing Magic: The Gathering. Perhaps...God help us all...At a comic book convention. I fear that the Batman has gone completely, utterly, mad." The old butler buried his head in folded arms.
He was startled up from his melancholy meanderings by the incoming communications alert. He opened the channel.
"Yes sir?"
"Alfred, I'm in a little trouble."
"Indeed, sir?"
"I'm over at the Flash's house with some of the guys, and we got to playing Risk."
Alfred winced visibly, but manfully kept a tremor from his voice. "And the nature of the problem, Sir?"
"Well, that filthy Kryptonian so-and-so," Batman raised his voice now, as if trying to force someone on his end to overhear, "Whose tiny brain rattles in his cast-iron skull so much that it's driven him stark, staring mad! Mad, do you hear me, you filthy blue Superwuss!" There were sounds of a scuffle on the other end. Alfred tried not to weep. The conflict apparently subsided, and Batman resumed. "As I was saying, Superman beat me BY CHEATING YOU ALIEN SLUG-MAN! And now we're going to have a rematch."
"And the problem, sir?"
"The Flash's TV set got broken when the Martian Manhunter lost. Things got ugly and one thing led to another. So I need you to tape Star Trek: Enterprise for me."
An inaudible sigh. "Very good, sir."
"Thanks Alfred. I'LL GIVE YOU CHEATING, YOU GUTLESS INVINCIBLE BOY-SCOUT! YAAAGGHHH!" The comm line went dead. The game, apparently, had resumed.
Batgirl stared, unable to believe what she had just heard. Alfred only slumped again.
"Alfred?"
"Yes, Mistress Cassandra?"
"I'm scared."
The gentleman's gentleman sighed as he stood. "So am I, my dear. So am I."
To be concluded
"Where is he?" She demanded.
The kindly old man looked up at her with eyes hollowed by horror, marked with madness, and glazed with some word beginning with G that's synonimous with horror or madness. In short, he looked like hell.
"I do not know, Mistress Cassandra. I simply do not know. Perhaps at a movie theater, watching some science fiction film. Perhaps in some den of iniquity playing Magic: The Gathering. Perhaps...God help us all...At a comic book convention. I fear that the Batman has gone completely, utterly, mad." The old butler buried his head in folded arms.
He was startled up from his melancholy meanderings by the incoming communications alert. He opened the channel.
"Yes sir?"
"Alfred, I'm in a little trouble."
"Indeed, sir?"
"I'm over at the Flash's house with some of the guys, and we got to playing Risk."
Alfred winced visibly, but manfully kept a tremor from his voice. "And the nature of the problem, Sir?"
"Well, that filthy Kryptonian so-and-so," Batman raised his voice now, as if trying to force someone on his end to overhear, "Whose tiny brain rattles in his cast-iron skull so much that it's driven him stark, staring mad! Mad, do you hear me, you filthy blue Superwuss!" There were sounds of a scuffle on the other end. Alfred tried not to weep. The conflict apparently subsided, and Batman resumed. "As I was saying, Superman beat me BY CHEATING YOU ALIEN SLUG-MAN! And now we're going to have a rematch."
"And the problem, sir?"
"The Flash's TV set got broken when the Martian Manhunter lost. Things got ugly and one thing led to another. So I need you to tape Star Trek: Enterprise for me."
An inaudible sigh. "Very good, sir."
"Thanks Alfred. I'LL GIVE YOU CHEATING, YOU GUTLESS INVINCIBLE BOY-SCOUT! YAAAGGHHH!" The comm line went dead. The game, apparently, had resumed.
Batgirl stared, unable to believe what she had just heard. Alfred only slumped again.
"Alfred?"
"Yes, Mistress Cassandra?"
"I'm scared."
The gentleman's gentleman sighed as he stood. "So am I, my dear. So am I."
To be concluded