At ten forty-five the next morning, Lina-tachi was walking through
the snow, which was odd seeing as how it was the middle of June. In fact,
the day before it had been eighty degrees. Amelia predicted that it was
the gods punishing whoever stole Justice. It was now quite certain that
she'd lost it. Everyone had figured that out long ago, when she'd begun
going on about Phibrizzo coming to make friends with them. Nobody bothered
hearing the girl out.
An hour ago she thought she'd seen it. She began to yell, "Justice! Justice! It's you!" But it was only her father.
He had smiled and held out his arms to hug her, "Why, Amelia! What a pleasant surprise! I didn't expect to see you here!" What surprised Phil more was Amelia began crying and ran off into the forest. "What's the matter with my daughter?" he asked Zelgadis.
"She can't find Justice," replied Zel, watching the princess stop running when she realized she was running in the wrong direction. She stopped and looked around in a daze, confused as to why she was running in the first place. Then she remembered and began running again, now forgetting that she was going in the wrong direction. Zelgadis shook his head and sighed.
Philionel looked at the group; "She can't find justice? But she should know that justice is anywhere if she truly believes it! If one's intentions are good and their heart is pure they can take justice wherever they go! When one is-"
"Justice is the name of her dog," Lina interrupted his speech.
"What a wonderful name she picked out for it!" Phil exclaimed, then thought about it, "What kind of dog is it?"
"It's black and really furry," Filia said.
Prince Philionel smiled, "Well, why didn't you say so? I saw a dog like that not too long ago!"
Everyone let out a sigh of relief. Now they could finally stop the search for Justice and get back to what really mattered. Blowing up bandits for cash.
Once they had gotten Amelia out of her state of Justice-withdraw, Phil led them through the forest in the direction he'd come from. After about ten minutes of walking he stopped and pointed in front of them.
"There it is!" he said to the group. Amelia rushed forward yelling "Justice! Justice! It's you!" But it was only Jilias dressed up as Justice. Jilias barked at them.
Amelia was mad.
Amelia had been mad before. She'd been angry. She'd even been enraged. But never like this. Not only was she mad but she was MAD. Stark raving mad. She stood staring at Jilias for a moment. And for that moment she no longer looked like a justice-freak who hated evil. She looked like an insane justice-freak who hated evil. And to her, while she stood there looking at Jilias dressed up as her beloved pet, evil was right in front of her.
The events that followed were unforgettable. So unforgettable, in fact, that they're not appropriate for a PG rated fanfic. Instead, here's a message from out sponsors:
ANNOUNCER: Is your hair the color you wish it to be? Is it losing color? Then maybe you should try Zoamelgustar brand hair dye!
LINA: After my battle with the dark lord Shabrinigdo, my hair turned white. How terrible it was for a beautiful girl like me to have white hair! I mean, how many girls as pretty as me have white hair?
ANNOUNCER: *off screen* Stick to the script!
LINA: Er… anyway, then I heard about Zoamelgustar brand hair dye! It turned my hair back to its original shade of orange #5!
ANNOUNCER: Still not convinced? Just listen to these other satisfied customers!
GOURRY: *nervous* Eh… what are you talking about? I'm… uh… naturally blonde!
REZO: They called me Rezo the red priest. And I thought to myself 'Rezo, you hansome devil, you, your hair's not red!' And that's why I died it the wonderful shade of red it is now!
ANNOUNCER: *sweatdrops* Please excuse the comments of the last customer. If he had read the warning label on the box, he wouldn't have that problem.
*warning appears on the screen*
WARNING: Blind people may or may not accidentally dye they're hair purple.
~~~~
ANNOUNCER2: Has this ever happened to you?
*Scene changes to outside, where Xellos and Filia are standing next to each other. Suddenly, Filia pulls out mace-sama and bashes Xellos over the head with it*
FILIA: Die, you loathsome piece of mazoku filth!
*Scene changes back to Announcer2*
ANNOUNCER2: Or if you suffer from any of the following symptoms: anger for no reason, wielding of a large mace, overuse of the term 'namagomi', constant annoyance by a mazoku. You may have GDS (Golden Dragon Syndrome). Now there's help. Watch this footage of the same Golden Dragon and the same Mazoku after we doped her up real good… I mean, after her treatment at the Golden Dragon Clinic:
*Scene moves back to outside, where Xellos is standing alone. Somebody wheels Filia over in a wheelbarrow and dumps her on the ground.*
FILIA: *on the ground* Lalalala…
XELLOS: *stars at Filia for a moment, sweatdropping, then walks away*
*Scene changes back to Announcer2*
ANNOUNCER2: At the Golden Dragon Clinic for sufferers of GDS, we can help you.
~~~~
LINA: Gee, Gourry, I eat and eat and eat and don't gain any weight!
GOURRY: Me too! Must be my metabolism!
LINA: I'll never get fat!
*THE NEXT DAY*
*Gourry and Lina have padding under their cloths to make them appear fat*
LINA: Oh no! I'm fat!
GOURRY: Me too! Whee! Now I can follow my dream of becoming a sumo wrestler!
LINA: Don't do it Gourry! Zelgadis has been a sumo wrestler for three months and look at him now!
*Lina points at Zelgadis who is laying on the floor dead*
GOURRY: What happened to him!?
LINA: He was too fat.
GOURRY: Being fat is too dangerous! Isn't there ANY way I can get skinny again?
LINA: Why, yes there is, Gourry! Try these new Anti-Fat Diet Pills!
GOURRY: *eats the pills* Lina, my stomach feels like it's going to explode!
LINA: That means they're working!
*THE NEXT DAY*
*Lina and Gourry aren't fat anymore*
GOURRY: Lina! Those pills worked! That's amazing!
LINA: It sure is!
WARNING: These pills do not actually work and may result in death.
An hour ago she thought she'd seen it. She began to yell, "Justice! Justice! It's you!" But it was only her father.
He had smiled and held out his arms to hug her, "Why, Amelia! What a pleasant surprise! I didn't expect to see you here!" What surprised Phil more was Amelia began crying and ran off into the forest. "What's the matter with my daughter?" he asked Zelgadis.
"She can't find Justice," replied Zel, watching the princess stop running when she realized she was running in the wrong direction. She stopped and looked around in a daze, confused as to why she was running in the first place. Then she remembered and began running again, now forgetting that she was going in the wrong direction. Zelgadis shook his head and sighed.
Philionel looked at the group; "She can't find justice? But she should know that justice is anywhere if she truly believes it! If one's intentions are good and their heart is pure they can take justice wherever they go! When one is-"
"Justice is the name of her dog," Lina interrupted his speech.
"What a wonderful name she picked out for it!" Phil exclaimed, then thought about it, "What kind of dog is it?"
"It's black and really furry," Filia said.
Prince Philionel smiled, "Well, why didn't you say so? I saw a dog like that not too long ago!"
Everyone let out a sigh of relief. Now they could finally stop the search for Justice and get back to what really mattered. Blowing up bandits for cash.
Once they had gotten Amelia out of her state of Justice-withdraw, Phil led them through the forest in the direction he'd come from. After about ten minutes of walking he stopped and pointed in front of them.
"There it is!" he said to the group. Amelia rushed forward yelling "Justice! Justice! It's you!" But it was only Jilias dressed up as Justice. Jilias barked at them.
Amelia was mad.
Amelia had been mad before. She'd been angry. She'd even been enraged. But never like this. Not only was she mad but she was MAD. Stark raving mad. She stood staring at Jilias for a moment. And for that moment she no longer looked like a justice-freak who hated evil. She looked like an insane justice-freak who hated evil. And to her, while she stood there looking at Jilias dressed up as her beloved pet, evil was right in front of her.
The events that followed were unforgettable. So unforgettable, in fact, that they're not appropriate for a PG rated fanfic. Instead, here's a message from out sponsors:
ANNOUNCER: Is your hair the color you wish it to be? Is it losing color? Then maybe you should try Zoamelgustar brand hair dye!
LINA: After my battle with the dark lord Shabrinigdo, my hair turned white. How terrible it was for a beautiful girl like me to have white hair! I mean, how many girls as pretty as me have white hair?
ANNOUNCER: *off screen* Stick to the script!
LINA: Er… anyway, then I heard about Zoamelgustar brand hair dye! It turned my hair back to its original shade of orange #5!
ANNOUNCER: Still not convinced? Just listen to these other satisfied customers!
GOURRY: *nervous* Eh… what are you talking about? I'm… uh… naturally blonde!
REZO: They called me Rezo the red priest. And I thought to myself 'Rezo, you hansome devil, you, your hair's not red!' And that's why I died it the wonderful shade of red it is now!
ANNOUNCER: *sweatdrops* Please excuse the comments of the last customer. If he had read the warning label on the box, he wouldn't have that problem.
*warning appears on the screen*
WARNING: Blind people may or may not accidentally dye they're hair purple.
~~~~
ANNOUNCER2: Has this ever happened to you?
*Scene changes to outside, where Xellos and Filia are standing next to each other. Suddenly, Filia pulls out mace-sama and bashes Xellos over the head with it*
FILIA: Die, you loathsome piece of mazoku filth!
*Scene changes back to Announcer2*
ANNOUNCER2: Or if you suffer from any of the following symptoms: anger for no reason, wielding of a large mace, overuse of the term 'namagomi', constant annoyance by a mazoku. You may have GDS (Golden Dragon Syndrome). Now there's help. Watch this footage of the same Golden Dragon and the same Mazoku after we doped her up real good… I mean, after her treatment at the Golden Dragon Clinic:
*Scene moves back to outside, where Xellos is standing alone. Somebody wheels Filia over in a wheelbarrow and dumps her on the ground.*
FILIA: *on the ground* Lalalala…
XELLOS: *stars at Filia for a moment, sweatdropping, then walks away*
*Scene changes back to Announcer2*
ANNOUNCER2: At the Golden Dragon Clinic for sufferers of GDS, we can help you.
~~~~
LINA: Gee, Gourry, I eat and eat and eat and don't gain any weight!
GOURRY: Me too! Must be my metabolism!
LINA: I'll never get fat!
*THE NEXT DAY*
*Gourry and Lina have padding under their cloths to make them appear fat*
LINA: Oh no! I'm fat!
GOURRY: Me too! Whee! Now I can follow my dream of becoming a sumo wrestler!
LINA: Don't do it Gourry! Zelgadis has been a sumo wrestler for three months and look at him now!
*Lina points at Zelgadis who is laying on the floor dead*
GOURRY: What happened to him!?
LINA: He was too fat.
GOURRY: Being fat is too dangerous! Isn't there ANY way I can get skinny again?
LINA: Why, yes there is, Gourry! Try these new Anti-Fat Diet Pills!
GOURRY: *eats the pills* Lina, my stomach feels like it's going to explode!
LINA: That means they're working!
*THE NEXT DAY*
*Lina and Gourry aren't fat anymore*
GOURRY: Lina! Those pills worked! That's amazing!
LINA: It sure is!
WARNING: These pills do not actually work and may result in death.