Title - Wake To This Nightmare
Author - Nicky
Rating - PG-13
Spoilers - Up to beginning of Season 8
Keywords - Mulder/Scully romance
Summary - Scully sinks deeper and deeper into a depression as the hunt for Mulder seems to wind to an unsuccessful conclusion. As she struggles to hang on to hope, Mulder awakens to a life he doesn't remember and faces his own struggles to maintain his grip on reality.
Disclaimer - Most of these characters aren't mine. You know that. And I know that. They're property of someone else and used without permission strictly for entertainment purposes.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 3
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
4 weeks later . . .
Diana casts a furtive glance around the room, ensuring she's alone before picking up the phone to place a call. She had to hurry, though. It was only a matter of time before everyone got back home. And this was a phone call she did not want to be overheard.
"This is Diana. I need to speak with you," she says to the person on the other line.
"Diana, why are you calling?" the mystery man demands. "We are the ones who will get in touch with you when we need you. Has something happened?"
"Nothing's happened. That's the problem," Diana complains. "I told him all of those false memories, but he still treats me like a stranger. And he still fawns over that kid as if she were some kind of princess."
"Diana, what did you expect? There was only so much we could do with his memories. If he doesn't want you, then there's nothing we can do about that. That wasn't even part of the deal. Be grateful that you're allowed to be there with him. We only need him to stay clueless and content until the time comes when we'll need him. That's why we have the little girl there. You are not necessary."
"But . . " she tries to object.
"There's nothing else to say. That will be all," the man yells, slamming the phone down.
She stares at the phone for a moment, angry at having been dismissed that way. There was a time when she was an integral part of the organization. A key player in their little game. But now, she was no more than a foot soldier. Thought as only a tool to do their bidding for the rest of her life. However long they allowed that to be. They would not tolerate any more disloyalty. But the last time couldn't be helped. She didn't want to see Mulder dead. Even if that meant allowing Scully access to him in the hospital. Luckily for her, the powers in charge didn't want to see Mulder dead either, unlike that heartless cigarette smoking thug. So her indiscretion was forgiven. That time. But her actions did not go unpunished. The news of her death was only slightly exaggerated, though not by much. They made it very clear to her that her life was now in their hands. And now she would do as they said. She's just glad that this time, she gets to be Fox Mulder's wife. Now if only she could get him to believe it.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Mulder lifts Emily to help her into the canoe. The middle of their lake seems to be the only place where he can spend some quality time with the girl without Diana's constant hovering. Emily loved being out on the water even though it made Mulder nervous. A little queasy even. But he'd do anything to be with his little girl. Every day of the past month he's been getting to know all about her. And now, he loved her more than he ever remembered. More than he thought possible.
"Put on your life vest, Em," he advises. "It's a little windy today. I don't think we should stay out very long." He looks nervously at the water that would soon be surrounding them.
"Oh Daddy," she sighs, staring at him with one small eyebrow raised. And at that moment, he could almost imagine her mother looking at him the exact same way with those exact same eyes. "Don't be scared. It's just a little water. Besides, there's barely a breeze blowing. And the lake isn't even all that deep."
"Not that deep, huh? Great. It'll make it that much easier for them to find our bodies should this tiny vessel capsize," he says sarcastically.
"Daddy," she groans, giving him the eyebrow again. "Stop teasing. We'll be fine. Okay? Now let's go."
"Okay, my little impatient one," he jokes as he finally begins rowing them out on the water. "You're just seven and already so demanding. Where do you get that from?"
"Must be from my mom," she ponders.
"I doubt that, Squirt. You're nothing like Diana," Mulder says, thanking God silently for small favors.
"I meant my real mother," she almost whispers, lifting her eyes to see his reaction. She sees that he's stunned to silence and decides to continue. "Diana's too horrible to be my mother. I know she's not my mother. And it looks like you also know that she isn't my mother."
"I guessed as much," he nods. "But how did you . . . ."
"I've known all along. But you weren't supposed to find out. I wasn't supposed to tell you. She said that if you ever found out, they'd put you to sleep again and make sure you didn't wake up." Her little voice was trembling, but strong.
"Emily, I'm so sorry," Mulder gasps. How could Diana do that to a little girl? How could she threaten to make her an orphan? It was too cruel to even think about. The poor thing has been through so much because of Diana. There was no way Mulder was going to let her stay in that environment. "Emily, do you know your real mother? How we can find her?" An idea was already forming in his mind. If only he could find Emily's mother, then he could get her away from Diana. He'd worry about himself later.
"And get away from Diana?"
"Don't worry about her anymore. That woman is not my wife. I've known that all along. I just didn't say anything because she said you were ours. And I was afraid that if I said anything, she'd take you away."
"So we can go find Mommy?" she asks, suddenly sounding very much like a little girl again.
"I wish we could, Honey. I just can't remember her. I don't know her name. Where she lives. Or even what she looks like," he frowns. "I know that she has red hair. And blue eyes just like yours. And I think your lips are tiny versions of hers." He looks over at his daughter, a smile replacing his frown as he gently taps her on the nose. "Unfortunately, it looks like you got that from me. Sorry about that, Kid." His smile grows even bigger when the action generates a little giggle from the girl.
"She looks kind of like Audra. So sometimes I don't know if I'm remembering my mom or getting her confused with Audra," Emily starts.
"I think that was on purpose," Mulder realizes. "Your mom must look a lot like Audra. Diana's trying to make us think your mom doesn't really exist."
"I know that she wore a gold cross around her neck. Audra doesn't have one. I remember once she put it on me and it made me feel so safe. She made me feel safe," Emily contines to smile at one of the few cherished memories of her mother she had.
"We'll find her, Em. Because I can feel in my heart that we both love her very much. Even if we can't remember her. And I'm sure she loves us both, too. Our hearts will have to find a way back to each other. Then we'll all be together again."
"You promise?"
"Cross my heart and hope to die."
They both get huge smiles on their faces at the promise of new hope looming on the horizon. They may not know where they belong, but together, they were destined to find out.
* * * * * * * * * *
Doggett is clearing away some of the dishes from his living room table when Scully walks back into the room. A nice smile still graces her face from when she escorted the visiting agents to the front door. Doggett finds it hard not to stare at her, unable to believe this was the same woman he last saw a month ago at Mulder's apartment. The sadness was still there. But no longer was there any despair. Before, it seemed like she couldn't go on without Mulder. His search consumed her and ate away at her until she was just a picked over carcass. But now, Doggett could see a light in her eyes that had long been extinguished. She practically glowed. He smiles to himself at a bittersweet memory of his ex-wife. She too had been luminescently happy like that once upon a time.
"They seemed nice," she says, breaking him from his memories. "Good, capable agents. I think they'll do fine. They seemed like fast learners."
The 'they' she was referring to were the newest members of the X-Files division. With Scully's month long, possibly indefinite, absence, working the X-Files was difficult for Doggett. Skinner thought it wise to expand the division, adding other agents under the temporary supervision of Scully and Doggett. When Mulder returned, he would take over. Skinner and the new agents met with Doggett and Scully at Doggett's house for an informal organizational meeting.
"Skinner left too?" Doggett asks her, suddenly aware they were completely alone.
"Yeah, I told him I could call a cab to get home later. I wanted to talk to you." She sits down on the floor between the couch and the coffee table, pulling down a pillow to place behind her back. She unbuttons her blazer, finally able to relax a little with the other agents gone. Her plate of uneaten chinese food is in front of her and she pushes around the remains with her fork until the sight and smell of it all reacts with her hypersensitive senses, causing a twinge of nausea. She covers the plate with a napkin and pushes it away.
"You okay, Agent Scully? You looked a little green for a second," Doggett asks with some concern.
"I'm fine," she assures him with a small smile. "I think I've had enough of that." She nods her head towards the discarded plate.
"Okay. So, what did you want to talk about?" He reaches into the carton for the last pot sticker when he notices her eyes kind of glaze over. With the fork perched halfway between his plate and his mouth, he wonders what's distracted her. The look in her eyes turns hungry and at first, he thinks that lust is directed towards him. But her focus moves to the dumpling and he sees her lick her lips. Before he can even blink, she reaches across the table and grabs his fork, greedily shoveling the food into her mouth. Doggett is frozen, fascinated by the actions of the possessed woman, trying to figure out if he was afraid or aroused.
"That was so good," she groans, eyes shut savoring the flavor. He witnesses her lick a remaining crumb from her fingers and all feelings of fear are now gone, leaving Doggett with the other sensation clouding his eyes.
"I'm sorry," she apologizes when she notices his flushed expression. "I guess my food just wasn't very appetizing. Your pot sticker was just so . . . . irresistible," she almost purrs. Never had Doggett seen anyone make a chinese dumpling seems so appealing.
"No problem," he mumbles, gulping his ice water in hopes of cooling down a bit. Once again, he's overcome with memories of his ex-wife. He remembers the glowing skin. The secret happy smile constantly plastered on her face. Certain foods being nauseating while others evoking the same reaction he just saw with Scully. But his ex-wife was like that back when she was . . . Doggett gasps suddenly when the realization hits him at the same time Scully rises to get more water. Her blazer falls open and for the first time, he notices the small bulge around her middle.
His gasp stops her in her tracks and she looks at him. He's unable to tear his eyes from her stomach.
"I guess my secret's out," she lightly jokes, placing a protective hand on the bump.
"This is what you had to tell me?" he manages to ask through his shock.
"I figured it was time," she nods. "I didn't think it was right for me to keep this from you anymore. Not that I could hide it for much longer," she adds with a little laugh.
"Forgive me for asking, but this doesn't have anything to do with our search for Agent Mulder, does it? I mean, is this the reason why he's gone? Why we're looking for him?" He tried to phrase the question as gently as possible, but he could see the anger rise in her eyes anyway.
"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be nosey," he adds quickly. "But I just wanted to know . . . "
"No, I understand," she sighs. "You just wanted to be sure I wasn't making this personal. You need to know you're not wasting your time looking for a man who doesn't want to be found. You would have every right to be angry with me for keeping this from you if that were the case. But let me assure you that Mulder's disappearance has nothing to do with the baby. He didn't even know," she adds with a whisper, giving her stomach a comforting pat.
So many questions are racing through Doggett's mind, the most obvious one being answered by her last comment. But it was clear she didn't want to come out and say that Mulder's the father, so he didn't ask. Besides, Mulder should be the first to hear those words.
"He may not know now, but one day he will. We'll find him, Agent Scully," Doggett promises with a renewed determination. "Stay right here," he says suddenly, leaping to his feet and running up the stairs.
Scully hears bumping and stirring in the attic and a loud thump followed by a curse from Doggett. She begins to worry until he finally returns with layer of dust graying his hair and a slight limp. One hand is behind his back and he has a mischievous little grin on his face.
"Here," he offers, holding out his hand for her to examine the contents.
"A stuffed animal? All that noise for a toy? Agent Doggett, you really didn't have to," she teases slightly. "Where did you get this from anyway?"
"It was my son's," he says somberly, taking a sad moment to look at the toy, memories threatening to drown him until he shakes himself from them. "Besides, it's not just some toy. It's a little fox," he explains, it's meaning suddenly dawning on her.
"A little fox for my Little Fox," she mutters through a sad smile marred by tears. "Thank you," is all she able to say.
"This is just a loan," he smiles. "I'll be expecting that back when I bring you the real thing."
A big promise, but one he intended to keep. It was a big leap of faith on her part to believe him, but one she was willing to make. A huge smile spreads across her face to seal their little pact. It's the biggest smile he's ever seen her give. It seemed to be an opening into her soul. His heart flips, knowing this smile must be a rare treat for it's recipient. And at that moment, he can see just how Fox Mulder fell in love with this woman.
To be continued . . .
Author - Nicky
Rating - PG-13
Spoilers - Up to beginning of Season 8
Keywords - Mulder/Scully romance
Summary - Scully sinks deeper and deeper into a depression as the hunt for Mulder seems to wind to an unsuccessful conclusion. As she struggles to hang on to hope, Mulder awakens to a life he doesn't remember and faces his own struggles to maintain his grip on reality.
Disclaimer - Most of these characters aren't mine. You know that. And I know that. They're property of someone else and used without permission strictly for entertainment purposes.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 3
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
4 weeks later . . .
Diana casts a furtive glance around the room, ensuring she's alone before picking up the phone to place a call. She had to hurry, though. It was only a matter of time before everyone got back home. And this was a phone call she did not want to be overheard.
"This is Diana. I need to speak with you," she says to the person on the other line.
"Diana, why are you calling?" the mystery man demands. "We are the ones who will get in touch with you when we need you. Has something happened?"
"Nothing's happened. That's the problem," Diana complains. "I told him all of those false memories, but he still treats me like a stranger. And he still fawns over that kid as if she were some kind of princess."
"Diana, what did you expect? There was only so much we could do with his memories. If he doesn't want you, then there's nothing we can do about that. That wasn't even part of the deal. Be grateful that you're allowed to be there with him. We only need him to stay clueless and content until the time comes when we'll need him. That's why we have the little girl there. You are not necessary."
"But . . " she tries to object.
"There's nothing else to say. That will be all," the man yells, slamming the phone down.
She stares at the phone for a moment, angry at having been dismissed that way. There was a time when she was an integral part of the organization. A key player in their little game. But now, she was no more than a foot soldier. Thought as only a tool to do their bidding for the rest of her life. However long they allowed that to be. They would not tolerate any more disloyalty. But the last time couldn't be helped. She didn't want to see Mulder dead. Even if that meant allowing Scully access to him in the hospital. Luckily for her, the powers in charge didn't want to see Mulder dead either, unlike that heartless cigarette smoking thug. So her indiscretion was forgiven. That time. But her actions did not go unpunished. The news of her death was only slightly exaggerated, though not by much. They made it very clear to her that her life was now in their hands. And now she would do as they said. She's just glad that this time, she gets to be Fox Mulder's wife. Now if only she could get him to believe it.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Mulder lifts Emily to help her into the canoe. The middle of their lake seems to be the only place where he can spend some quality time with the girl without Diana's constant hovering. Emily loved being out on the water even though it made Mulder nervous. A little queasy even. But he'd do anything to be with his little girl. Every day of the past month he's been getting to know all about her. And now, he loved her more than he ever remembered. More than he thought possible.
"Put on your life vest, Em," he advises. "It's a little windy today. I don't think we should stay out very long." He looks nervously at the water that would soon be surrounding them.
"Oh Daddy," she sighs, staring at him with one small eyebrow raised. And at that moment, he could almost imagine her mother looking at him the exact same way with those exact same eyes. "Don't be scared. It's just a little water. Besides, there's barely a breeze blowing. And the lake isn't even all that deep."
"Not that deep, huh? Great. It'll make it that much easier for them to find our bodies should this tiny vessel capsize," he says sarcastically.
"Daddy," she groans, giving him the eyebrow again. "Stop teasing. We'll be fine. Okay? Now let's go."
"Okay, my little impatient one," he jokes as he finally begins rowing them out on the water. "You're just seven and already so demanding. Where do you get that from?"
"Must be from my mom," she ponders.
"I doubt that, Squirt. You're nothing like Diana," Mulder says, thanking God silently for small favors.
"I meant my real mother," she almost whispers, lifting her eyes to see his reaction. She sees that he's stunned to silence and decides to continue. "Diana's too horrible to be my mother. I know she's not my mother. And it looks like you also know that she isn't my mother."
"I guessed as much," he nods. "But how did you . . . ."
"I've known all along. But you weren't supposed to find out. I wasn't supposed to tell you. She said that if you ever found out, they'd put you to sleep again and make sure you didn't wake up." Her little voice was trembling, but strong.
"Emily, I'm so sorry," Mulder gasps. How could Diana do that to a little girl? How could she threaten to make her an orphan? It was too cruel to even think about. The poor thing has been through so much because of Diana. There was no way Mulder was going to let her stay in that environment. "Emily, do you know your real mother? How we can find her?" An idea was already forming in his mind. If only he could find Emily's mother, then he could get her away from Diana. He'd worry about himself later.
"And get away from Diana?"
"Don't worry about her anymore. That woman is not my wife. I've known that all along. I just didn't say anything because she said you were ours. And I was afraid that if I said anything, she'd take you away."
"So we can go find Mommy?" she asks, suddenly sounding very much like a little girl again.
"I wish we could, Honey. I just can't remember her. I don't know her name. Where she lives. Or even what she looks like," he frowns. "I know that she has red hair. And blue eyes just like yours. And I think your lips are tiny versions of hers." He looks over at his daughter, a smile replacing his frown as he gently taps her on the nose. "Unfortunately, it looks like you got that from me. Sorry about that, Kid." His smile grows even bigger when the action generates a little giggle from the girl.
"She looks kind of like Audra. So sometimes I don't know if I'm remembering my mom or getting her confused with Audra," Emily starts.
"I think that was on purpose," Mulder realizes. "Your mom must look a lot like Audra. Diana's trying to make us think your mom doesn't really exist."
"I know that she wore a gold cross around her neck. Audra doesn't have one. I remember once she put it on me and it made me feel so safe. She made me feel safe," Emily contines to smile at one of the few cherished memories of her mother she had.
"We'll find her, Em. Because I can feel in my heart that we both love her very much. Even if we can't remember her. And I'm sure she loves us both, too. Our hearts will have to find a way back to each other. Then we'll all be together again."
"You promise?"
"Cross my heart and hope to die."
They both get huge smiles on their faces at the promise of new hope looming on the horizon. They may not know where they belong, but together, they were destined to find out.
* * * * * * * * * *
Doggett is clearing away some of the dishes from his living room table when Scully walks back into the room. A nice smile still graces her face from when she escorted the visiting agents to the front door. Doggett finds it hard not to stare at her, unable to believe this was the same woman he last saw a month ago at Mulder's apartment. The sadness was still there. But no longer was there any despair. Before, it seemed like she couldn't go on without Mulder. His search consumed her and ate away at her until she was just a picked over carcass. But now, Doggett could see a light in her eyes that had long been extinguished. She practically glowed. He smiles to himself at a bittersweet memory of his ex-wife. She too had been luminescently happy like that once upon a time.
"They seemed nice," she says, breaking him from his memories. "Good, capable agents. I think they'll do fine. They seemed like fast learners."
The 'they' she was referring to were the newest members of the X-Files division. With Scully's month long, possibly indefinite, absence, working the X-Files was difficult for Doggett. Skinner thought it wise to expand the division, adding other agents under the temporary supervision of Scully and Doggett. When Mulder returned, he would take over. Skinner and the new agents met with Doggett and Scully at Doggett's house for an informal organizational meeting.
"Skinner left too?" Doggett asks her, suddenly aware they were completely alone.
"Yeah, I told him I could call a cab to get home later. I wanted to talk to you." She sits down on the floor between the couch and the coffee table, pulling down a pillow to place behind her back. She unbuttons her blazer, finally able to relax a little with the other agents gone. Her plate of uneaten chinese food is in front of her and she pushes around the remains with her fork until the sight and smell of it all reacts with her hypersensitive senses, causing a twinge of nausea. She covers the plate with a napkin and pushes it away.
"You okay, Agent Scully? You looked a little green for a second," Doggett asks with some concern.
"I'm fine," she assures him with a small smile. "I think I've had enough of that." She nods her head towards the discarded plate.
"Okay. So, what did you want to talk about?" He reaches into the carton for the last pot sticker when he notices her eyes kind of glaze over. With the fork perched halfway between his plate and his mouth, he wonders what's distracted her. The look in her eyes turns hungry and at first, he thinks that lust is directed towards him. But her focus moves to the dumpling and he sees her lick her lips. Before he can even blink, she reaches across the table and grabs his fork, greedily shoveling the food into her mouth. Doggett is frozen, fascinated by the actions of the possessed woman, trying to figure out if he was afraid or aroused.
"That was so good," she groans, eyes shut savoring the flavor. He witnesses her lick a remaining crumb from her fingers and all feelings of fear are now gone, leaving Doggett with the other sensation clouding his eyes.
"I'm sorry," she apologizes when she notices his flushed expression. "I guess my food just wasn't very appetizing. Your pot sticker was just so . . . . irresistible," she almost purrs. Never had Doggett seen anyone make a chinese dumpling seems so appealing.
"No problem," he mumbles, gulping his ice water in hopes of cooling down a bit. Once again, he's overcome with memories of his ex-wife. He remembers the glowing skin. The secret happy smile constantly plastered on her face. Certain foods being nauseating while others evoking the same reaction he just saw with Scully. But his ex-wife was like that back when she was . . . Doggett gasps suddenly when the realization hits him at the same time Scully rises to get more water. Her blazer falls open and for the first time, he notices the small bulge around her middle.
His gasp stops her in her tracks and she looks at him. He's unable to tear his eyes from her stomach.
"I guess my secret's out," she lightly jokes, placing a protective hand on the bump.
"This is what you had to tell me?" he manages to ask through his shock.
"I figured it was time," she nods. "I didn't think it was right for me to keep this from you anymore. Not that I could hide it for much longer," she adds with a little laugh.
"Forgive me for asking, but this doesn't have anything to do with our search for Agent Mulder, does it? I mean, is this the reason why he's gone? Why we're looking for him?" He tried to phrase the question as gently as possible, but he could see the anger rise in her eyes anyway.
"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be nosey," he adds quickly. "But I just wanted to know . . . "
"No, I understand," she sighs. "You just wanted to be sure I wasn't making this personal. You need to know you're not wasting your time looking for a man who doesn't want to be found. You would have every right to be angry with me for keeping this from you if that were the case. But let me assure you that Mulder's disappearance has nothing to do with the baby. He didn't even know," she adds with a whisper, giving her stomach a comforting pat.
So many questions are racing through Doggett's mind, the most obvious one being answered by her last comment. But it was clear she didn't want to come out and say that Mulder's the father, so he didn't ask. Besides, Mulder should be the first to hear those words.
"He may not know now, but one day he will. We'll find him, Agent Scully," Doggett promises with a renewed determination. "Stay right here," he says suddenly, leaping to his feet and running up the stairs.
Scully hears bumping and stirring in the attic and a loud thump followed by a curse from Doggett. She begins to worry until he finally returns with layer of dust graying his hair and a slight limp. One hand is behind his back and he has a mischievous little grin on his face.
"Here," he offers, holding out his hand for her to examine the contents.
"A stuffed animal? All that noise for a toy? Agent Doggett, you really didn't have to," she teases slightly. "Where did you get this from anyway?"
"It was my son's," he says somberly, taking a sad moment to look at the toy, memories threatening to drown him until he shakes himself from them. "Besides, it's not just some toy. It's a little fox," he explains, it's meaning suddenly dawning on her.
"A little fox for my Little Fox," she mutters through a sad smile marred by tears. "Thank you," is all she able to say.
"This is just a loan," he smiles. "I'll be expecting that back when I bring you the real thing."
A big promise, but one he intended to keep. It was a big leap of faith on her part to believe him, but one she was willing to make. A huge smile spreads across her face to seal their little pact. It's the biggest smile he's ever seen her give. It seemed to be an opening into her soul. His heart flips, knowing this smile must be a rare treat for it's recipient. And at that moment, he can see just how Fox Mulder fell in love with this woman.
To be continued . . .