Title - Wake To This Nightmare
Author - Nicky
Rating - PG-13
Spoilers - Up to beginning of Season 8
Keywords - Mulder/Scully romance
Summary - Scully sinks deeper and deeper into a depression as the hunt for
Mulder seems to wind to an unsuccessful conclusion. As she struggles to hang on
to hope, Mulder awakens to a life he doesn't remember and faces his own
struggles to maintain his grip on reality.
Disclaimer - Most of these characters aren't mine. You know that. And I know
that. They're property of someone else and used without permission strictly for
entertainment purposes.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 8
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Doggett awakens to bright lights and sirens blaring. He doesn't know how long
he's been out, but the prior events all come suddenly rushing back to his memory
with each pound of his aching head. He raises a shaky hand up to his head and
feels the bandage. He also notices several bandages on his hands and arms.
"Don't move, Agent Doggett," a voice tells him. Doggett looks into the face of
a paramedic who was now working on the cuts on his legs. "Do you remember what
happened?"
"There was an explosion. The house blew up," he says groggily, trying to rise
again to a sitting position.
"Don't try to move," the paramedic warns again. "You hit your head pretty
hard."
"Was anyone else hurt? What about the people in the house?" Doggett panics.
Despite the paramedics warnings, he manages to rise from his makeshift bed. He
stumbles over to where Bill was standing, a little closer to the house, but
still far enough from the flames still burning. "Bill, what's going on? Did
they find Mulder?" Bill had a look on his face that made Doggett's stomach
turn. He had a feeling that Bill's news wasn't good.
"They found two bodies. Dead," Bill says with a tear-filled voice. "They're
bringing them out now." He nods his head towards the door where 4 firemen were
bringing out bodies. Bill and Doggett race to the part of the lawn where they
put the bodies down. The first body Doggett recognized as a dark haired woman
whom he assumed was Diana Fowley. The second body caused Bill to lurch
violently and almost vomit right on the spot. Seeing the burned figure, Doggett
could see why. It was another woman. Short, with fiery red hair.
"I thought it was Dana for a second. It looks just like her. But I think
Mulder mentioned a nanny," Bill says with a slight sigh of relief. But the
relief didn't last long when they realize that Mulder was still missing.
"Did you find anyone else?" Doggett asks the nearest fireman. "A man? We saw
him go in the house about ten minutes before the explosion."
"Are you sure?" the fireman questions. The fire was beginning to blaze out of
control. He didn't want to risk sending in any of his men on a wild goose
chase.
"We're positive. He's a friend of ours. We saw him go in before the
explosion," Bill swears. "You have to go back in there."
"That fire is out of control, sir," the fireman warns. "If he's still in there,
then . . ."
"That doesn't matter," Bill yells. "Just find him."
The fireman sighs with frustration and radios the men that remained inside.
They've checked almost every room in the main part of the house with no sign of
anyone else. Their next destination is the cellar area. They wine bottles were
all broken and were feeding their own branch of the fire. Through the smoke and
haze, one of the rescue workers notice a stream of white light coming from the
floor. Rushing over, they discover the entrance to the sublevel.
"I think I've found something," one of them calls. The other workers come over
and quickly descend the stairs, quickly stumbling upon Mulder's unconscious
form. The flashlight he previously held somehow managed to land on it's end,
the light pointing straight up the stairs. A beacon signalling his presence to
the rescue workers. Without which, they might never have found him.
"We got him," a second fireman radios back to the chief. "Pulse is weak but
it's there."
The firechief sighs again, this time in relief, as he turns to Bill and Doggett
to give them the good news.
"Your friend has been found. They're bringing him out now," he informs them.
"Is he . . . " Bill tries to ask before the words get stuck in his throat.
"He's alive. Barely. It looks like God was smiling on him today." Bill and
Doggett thank the fire chief as he walks away to another area of the lawn
needing his attention. Unbelieving smiles come across their face. Mulder has
escaped death once again. That man has more lives than a cat is seems. Their
joy is short lived as the firemen emerge from the house with Mulder's body.
Being in the sublevel protected him from the flames, but not the smoke. Not
even the greyness of soot covering every inch of his body could hide the blue
tint to his lips from too little oxygen. He may be alive now. But how long
would that last?
"We have to call Dana," Bill struggles to say through the tears threatening to
fall. "She'll want to be here. No matter what."
Doggett nods his head in agreement, barely able to hold back his own tears.
They both watch in complete silence as Mulder's loaded into the back of an
ambulance. The doors close and the vehicle speeds away, leaving the men
silently praying for the recovery of their new friend. Because neither of them
wanted to think of what would become of the petite red-head back in DC who's
very existence depended on this man.
* * * * * * * * * *
The phone rings 6 times at Maggie Scully's house before she finally answers.
Her sleepy hand knocks the phone off of the bedside table as she wonders to
herself who would be calling at this hour.
"Yes," she answers groggily, yawning and trying to rub the sleep from her eyes.
"Maggie, it's Walter," the gruff voice says. Right then all the tiredness fell
from Maggie and she jumped out of the bed.
"What happened? Is it Bill? Is it Fox?" She knew the answer, but felt it was
her role to ask. They've done this dance so much. Sometimes it was Fox on the
other end of the phone telling her about Dana. Sometimes it was this very man
telling her about them both.
"Agent Doggett just called. There was an accident about an hour ago. Bill's
fine. Just being treated for minor cuts and bruises. But Mulder is serious.
We have to get Dana and Emily out there as soon as possible," Skinner explains,
trying hard to keep his voice detached and professional, but Maggie could hear
the tremble of fear. "I'll be by in an hour."
"We'll be ready," Maggie whispers into the phone before hanging it up. She lets
out a heavy sigh. She knew how difficult it was for Walter to call to deliver
the news. Because now, she has to do the same. She has to walk down that hall
and tell her little girl something that just may break her heart.
She pulls her robe around her and makes her way to the room Scully's staying in
with Emily. Taking a deep breath, she gently knocks on the door and pushes it
open. She's shocked to see her daughter's tear streaked face sitting in the
rocking chair in the corner holding an equally teary Emily.
"How bad is he?" Scully whispers.
"How did you know?" her mother wants to know, amazed at the connection her
daughter shared with Fox Mulder.
"They knew. That's why they were so restless," Scully explains. "Then about an
hour ago, everything got really . . . . still. Eerie. A weird kind of
unsettling calm. And that's when I got scared. They know that something is
wrong. They can feel it. We all can feel it." She pauses to wipe her tears
only to have them replaced by more streams of her salty anguish. She's not
really sure she wants to know, but she asks anyway. "What happened?"
"Walter didn't say," her mother confesses. "He just said we have to go out
there now. He'll be here soon to pick us up." Scully nods to let her mother
know she understands. The silence in the room was deafening. The grief almost
suffocated Maggie.
"Go down and let me know when he gets here," Scully whispers. "I think Emily
and I will just stay up here for awhile longer." Her eyes plead with her mother
to just leave them alone, although she didn't say the words. Maggie understood,
though, and left her daughter to grieve in peace.
* * * * * * * * * *
Doggett paces the floor of the hospital waiting room impatiently, as he's been
doing almost nonstop for the past few hours. Each step is filled with twinges
of pain from his injuries, but he keeps on moving nonetheless. Because if he
sits still, his mind will dwell on the man inside the room across the hall. The
man who's shoes he could never fill professionally, much less personally.
"Stop that pacing, John," Bill pleads. "You're starting to make me dizzy. Why
don't you go get some coffee or something," he suggests to the man before
turning to his wife. "Tara, could you go down with him? I think he could use a
break."
Tara Scully catches her husband's eye and nods her understanding at him. She
turns to give a warm smile to Doggett before grabbing Matthew's hand and leading
him down the hall. Doggett follows, not really needing the coffee, but needing
time away from the situation. He could always leave and go back to the hotel,
but he didn't feel right leaving Mulder until Agent Scully had gotten there. He
promised to find the missing agent for his partner. And even now that he did,
he's feeling guilty for the state Mulder's in. He can't leave Scully now to
face that alone.
They only get a few steps down the hall before the elevator doors fly open and
Scully comes rushing out, followed closely by her mother, Skinner and Emily.
"Where is he?" she demands to know, eyes red with unshed tears. Tears of joy
that he's been found. Tears of grief that he might not live long enough for a
reunion.
"Dana, you should calm down," Bill warns, grabbing his sister's arms to try and
settle her. He keeps her back to the big window looking into Mulder's room so
that she can't see him. Her adrenalin is flowing however and she easily breaks
from his grasp. She turns around and is able to see into Mulder's room from her
new point of view. Through the window he seems so still. So peaceful.
Everything is so silent. But her professional experience reminds her that it's
anything but quiet in that room. He's hooked up to so many machines making all
sorts of beeps, blips, and hisses. The sounds of the machines measuring
Mulder's life. Or lack thereof.
Despite her efforts, a shocked gasp escapes her lips followed by a stream of
tears finally breaking free of their barrier. She closes her eyes to shut out
the sight before her and doesn't even notice herself sway unsteadily.
Instantly, she's flanked by Bill and Doggett, each holding on to one of her arms
to support her.
"Dana, are you alright?" Bill asks concerned. He's surprised to see his usually
unbreakable sister quickly shake her head and admit she was less than fine.
"I think I need to sit down," she whispers in a shaky breath. Through a haze,
she barely registers her brother and Doggett helping her to a chair next to
Mulder's door. The nurse in the room has noticed the commotion outside by now
and came over to close the blinds, blocking out the view into the room.
"Emily," Scully gasps, looking around desperately for her child. Her fog has
lifted and she realizes that her daughter is no longer anywhere around. "Where
is she?"
"It's okay, Dana," Bill assures her. "Mom and Tara took her and Matty down the
hall to the playroom."
"She can't . . . see him like this," Scully sobs. "Not with all the machines
and tubes."
"Don't worry, Dana," Skinner says soothingly, coming over to comfort her much
like her father would have. "We'll make sure she's taken care of. You just
worry about taking care of yourself. Because Mulder's going to need you whole
and complete if he's going to get through this."
She nods her thanks at him, feeling relieved that Emily will be looked after.
But also thankful for the reminder. She had to keep it together because so many
people were depending on her. She had to take care of Mulder and their
children. And to do that, she had to stay healthy. She gives all the men a
smile, assuring them that she would be okay, before she rises slowly and
carefully begins her way down the hall to the restroom to freshen up a bit. She
gets about halfway down the hall when a doctor emerges from Mulder's room.
"Dr. Reynolds," Doggett calls out to him. At the mention of this doctor, Scully
turns around and heads back towards the men, hearing Doggett continue his
questioning of the doctor. "How is he doing?"
"I'm not going to lie to you, Agent Doggett. It's not looking too good," the
doctor reluctantly admits. "He's not making as much progress as I had hoped by
this point in his treatment."
"How are you treating him?" Scully asks, surprising the doctor slightly since he
didn't see or hear her approach.
"Oh. I didn't realize Agent Mulder had more visitors. I'm Dr. Reynolds. Are
you his wife?" Taking in Scully's puffy eyes and red nose, he assumes this
guess is correct. But as a twinge of hurt fills her eyes, the doctor feels like
putting his foot in his mouth. First, he felt bad being so pessimistic about
his patient's condition and having this obviously distraught woman overhear.
And now, he feels even worse when he notes her ring free left hand gently
caress her rounded abdomen.
"No," she whispers. "I'm not his wife."
"Agent Scully's the only family Agent Mulder has," Skinner explains.
He places a hand around her waist and helps her into the chair again, without
any protests coming from the woman. Because the truth was, with her knees
feeling much like bowls of jelly, she could hardly support herself anymore.
Getting settled and taking a deep breath, she looks up to face the doctor again,
repeating her earlier question.
"I'm a doctor and Agent Mulder's personal physician. What exactly is his
condition and how are you treating him?" She seems to have found her voice
again because this time her question is more demanding. The doctor is almost
amazed at her transformation into clinical detachment.
"Mr. Mulder was in an explosion. The force of the explosion appeared to have
knocked him down a flight of stairs, which is where the head injury more than
likely resulted. He was unconscious for awhile in the burning building, so
smoke inhalation was inevitable. The head trauma for right now is secondary.
We're keeping an eye on that. But more than likely, he just has a concussion.
Our primary mission is to lower the levels of carbon monoxide in his blood
stream. This is his second round of dialysis. We're trying to replace the
poisoned blood with fresh oxygenated blood," the doctor explains.
"And the breathing machine?"
"A precaution for right now. We didn't want to tax his heart and lungs anymore
than necessary. And we need to make sure his brain gets enough oxygen. We'll be
taking him off the machine later this evening to see if he'll be able to breathe
adequately on his own." The doctor's beeper goes off and he reaches into his
pocket to retrieve it. "I'm sorry, that's an emergency. I'll be back later to
check on Agent Mulder. It was very nice meeting you Dr. Scully." He smiles
encouragingly at them all before walking away.
After the doctor leaves, Scully lets out a breath she didn't even know she was
holding. It takes her a minute to assimilate all that the doctor had told her.
But she files it away for later reviewing and mentally prepares herself to face
the three men who were staring down at her.
"I need to go in there," she finally says, swallowing back a sob. "I want him
to know I'm here."
"Are you sure, Agent Scully?" Doggett asks her. "You just got here. And I know
it's a shock seeing him like that . . . "
"John, please," she interrupts him. "I think after all we've been through, you
can call me Dana," she says with a small smile that barely extends past her
lips. "And yes, I'm sure. He has to know that I'm here. He needs to have
something to hold onto." She holds out her hand and grabs one of Doggett's,
using him to pull herself up. Immediately, Skinner takes his place at her other
side, supporting her as much as she'll allow. Bill holds the door open for
them and she pauses, just on the other side of the threshhold.
"Do you want to go in alone?" Bill asks her quietly.
"No," she whispers, shaking her head. "I can't do it alone yet."
"We'll be right here with you for as long as you need us, Dana," Skinner assures
her. He kisses her on the forehead before pulling her gently into the room.
The few steps to the bed seem to take an eternity. Skinner and Doggett can feel
her trembling and stop once more, making sure she still wanted to do this. She
nods silently and eases herself from their embrace, walking the rest of the way
on her own.
"Oh, Mulder," she sobs upon finally reaching his bedside. His lifeless form was
so pale and still, yet Scully could feel the inner turmoil of his body and soul.
He wanted to hang on, but his body was about to give up.
"Mulder," she whispers into his ear. "I don't know if you can hear me. But you
have to fight. I'm here. I'll help you. You just can't give up. You have to
come back to me. I need you." She pauses as a few tears escape. "I love you."
The tears continue to come as she lays her head on his chest, reveling in the
feeling of just being near him again. The rise and fall of his chest from the
breathing machine pushing air into his body soothe her. His steady heart beats
assure her that he's still in there. Eventually, her tears stops and she rises
from his bedside. Leaning over to gently kiss him, she whispers her good-bye
and promises to be back later. She looks up at her companions and notices their
equally teary expressions. A small smile is all she can muster.
"He'll be fine," she tells them. "He has to be." She straightens her back with
renewed determination and walks herself out the door, no longer relying on their
strength. She had Mulder back. And she had the strength of his beliefs fueling
her own faith. And right now, that's all that she needed.
To be continued . . .
Author - Nicky
Rating - PG-13
Spoilers - Up to beginning of Season 8
Keywords - Mulder/Scully romance
Summary - Scully sinks deeper and deeper into a depression as the hunt for
Mulder seems to wind to an unsuccessful conclusion. As she struggles to hang on
to hope, Mulder awakens to a life he doesn't remember and faces his own
struggles to maintain his grip on reality.
Disclaimer - Most of these characters aren't mine. You know that. And I know
that. They're property of someone else and used without permission strictly for
entertainment purposes.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 8
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Doggett awakens to bright lights and sirens blaring. He doesn't know how long
he's been out, but the prior events all come suddenly rushing back to his memory
with each pound of his aching head. He raises a shaky hand up to his head and
feels the bandage. He also notices several bandages on his hands and arms.
"Don't move, Agent Doggett," a voice tells him. Doggett looks into the face of
a paramedic who was now working on the cuts on his legs. "Do you remember what
happened?"
"There was an explosion. The house blew up," he says groggily, trying to rise
again to a sitting position.
"Don't try to move," the paramedic warns again. "You hit your head pretty
hard."
"Was anyone else hurt? What about the people in the house?" Doggett panics.
Despite the paramedics warnings, he manages to rise from his makeshift bed. He
stumbles over to where Bill was standing, a little closer to the house, but
still far enough from the flames still burning. "Bill, what's going on? Did
they find Mulder?" Bill had a look on his face that made Doggett's stomach
turn. He had a feeling that Bill's news wasn't good.
"They found two bodies. Dead," Bill says with a tear-filled voice. "They're
bringing them out now." He nods his head towards the door where 4 firemen were
bringing out bodies. Bill and Doggett race to the part of the lawn where they
put the bodies down. The first body Doggett recognized as a dark haired woman
whom he assumed was Diana Fowley. The second body caused Bill to lurch
violently and almost vomit right on the spot. Seeing the burned figure, Doggett
could see why. It was another woman. Short, with fiery red hair.
"I thought it was Dana for a second. It looks just like her. But I think
Mulder mentioned a nanny," Bill says with a slight sigh of relief. But the
relief didn't last long when they realize that Mulder was still missing.
"Did you find anyone else?" Doggett asks the nearest fireman. "A man? We saw
him go in the house about ten minutes before the explosion."
"Are you sure?" the fireman questions. The fire was beginning to blaze out of
control. He didn't want to risk sending in any of his men on a wild goose
chase.
"We're positive. He's a friend of ours. We saw him go in before the
explosion," Bill swears. "You have to go back in there."
"That fire is out of control, sir," the fireman warns. "If he's still in there,
then . . ."
"That doesn't matter," Bill yells. "Just find him."
The fireman sighs with frustration and radios the men that remained inside.
They've checked almost every room in the main part of the house with no sign of
anyone else. Their next destination is the cellar area. They wine bottles were
all broken and were feeding their own branch of the fire. Through the smoke and
haze, one of the rescue workers notice a stream of white light coming from the
floor. Rushing over, they discover the entrance to the sublevel.
"I think I've found something," one of them calls. The other workers come over
and quickly descend the stairs, quickly stumbling upon Mulder's unconscious
form. The flashlight he previously held somehow managed to land on it's end,
the light pointing straight up the stairs. A beacon signalling his presence to
the rescue workers. Without which, they might never have found him.
"We got him," a second fireman radios back to the chief. "Pulse is weak but
it's there."
The firechief sighs again, this time in relief, as he turns to Bill and Doggett
to give them the good news.
"Your friend has been found. They're bringing him out now," he informs them.
"Is he . . . " Bill tries to ask before the words get stuck in his throat.
"He's alive. Barely. It looks like God was smiling on him today." Bill and
Doggett thank the fire chief as he walks away to another area of the lawn
needing his attention. Unbelieving smiles come across their face. Mulder has
escaped death once again. That man has more lives than a cat is seems. Their
joy is short lived as the firemen emerge from the house with Mulder's body.
Being in the sublevel protected him from the flames, but not the smoke. Not
even the greyness of soot covering every inch of his body could hide the blue
tint to his lips from too little oxygen. He may be alive now. But how long
would that last?
"We have to call Dana," Bill struggles to say through the tears threatening to
fall. "She'll want to be here. No matter what."
Doggett nods his head in agreement, barely able to hold back his own tears.
They both watch in complete silence as Mulder's loaded into the back of an
ambulance. The doors close and the vehicle speeds away, leaving the men
silently praying for the recovery of their new friend. Because neither of them
wanted to think of what would become of the petite red-head back in DC who's
very existence depended on this man.
* * * * * * * * * *
The phone rings 6 times at Maggie Scully's house before she finally answers.
Her sleepy hand knocks the phone off of the bedside table as she wonders to
herself who would be calling at this hour.
"Yes," she answers groggily, yawning and trying to rub the sleep from her eyes.
"Maggie, it's Walter," the gruff voice says. Right then all the tiredness fell
from Maggie and she jumped out of the bed.
"What happened? Is it Bill? Is it Fox?" She knew the answer, but felt it was
her role to ask. They've done this dance so much. Sometimes it was Fox on the
other end of the phone telling her about Dana. Sometimes it was this very man
telling her about them both.
"Agent Doggett just called. There was an accident about an hour ago. Bill's
fine. Just being treated for minor cuts and bruises. But Mulder is serious.
We have to get Dana and Emily out there as soon as possible," Skinner explains,
trying hard to keep his voice detached and professional, but Maggie could hear
the tremble of fear. "I'll be by in an hour."
"We'll be ready," Maggie whispers into the phone before hanging it up. She lets
out a heavy sigh. She knew how difficult it was for Walter to call to deliver
the news. Because now, she has to do the same. She has to walk down that hall
and tell her little girl something that just may break her heart.
She pulls her robe around her and makes her way to the room Scully's staying in
with Emily. Taking a deep breath, she gently knocks on the door and pushes it
open. She's shocked to see her daughter's tear streaked face sitting in the
rocking chair in the corner holding an equally teary Emily.
"How bad is he?" Scully whispers.
"How did you know?" her mother wants to know, amazed at the connection her
daughter shared with Fox Mulder.
"They knew. That's why they were so restless," Scully explains. "Then about an
hour ago, everything got really . . . . still. Eerie. A weird kind of
unsettling calm. And that's when I got scared. They know that something is
wrong. They can feel it. We all can feel it." She pauses to wipe her tears
only to have them replaced by more streams of her salty anguish. She's not
really sure she wants to know, but she asks anyway. "What happened?"
"Walter didn't say," her mother confesses. "He just said we have to go out
there now. He'll be here soon to pick us up." Scully nods to let her mother
know she understands. The silence in the room was deafening. The grief almost
suffocated Maggie.
"Go down and let me know when he gets here," Scully whispers. "I think Emily
and I will just stay up here for awhile longer." Her eyes plead with her mother
to just leave them alone, although she didn't say the words. Maggie understood,
though, and left her daughter to grieve in peace.
* * * * * * * * * *
Doggett paces the floor of the hospital waiting room impatiently, as he's been
doing almost nonstop for the past few hours. Each step is filled with twinges
of pain from his injuries, but he keeps on moving nonetheless. Because if he
sits still, his mind will dwell on the man inside the room across the hall. The
man who's shoes he could never fill professionally, much less personally.
"Stop that pacing, John," Bill pleads. "You're starting to make me dizzy. Why
don't you go get some coffee or something," he suggests to the man before
turning to his wife. "Tara, could you go down with him? I think he could use a
break."
Tara Scully catches her husband's eye and nods her understanding at him. She
turns to give a warm smile to Doggett before grabbing Matthew's hand and leading
him down the hall. Doggett follows, not really needing the coffee, but needing
time away from the situation. He could always leave and go back to the hotel,
but he didn't feel right leaving Mulder until Agent Scully had gotten there. He
promised to find the missing agent for his partner. And even now that he did,
he's feeling guilty for the state Mulder's in. He can't leave Scully now to
face that alone.
They only get a few steps down the hall before the elevator doors fly open and
Scully comes rushing out, followed closely by her mother, Skinner and Emily.
"Where is he?" she demands to know, eyes red with unshed tears. Tears of joy
that he's been found. Tears of grief that he might not live long enough for a
reunion.
"Dana, you should calm down," Bill warns, grabbing his sister's arms to try and
settle her. He keeps her back to the big window looking into Mulder's room so
that she can't see him. Her adrenalin is flowing however and she easily breaks
from his grasp. She turns around and is able to see into Mulder's room from her
new point of view. Through the window he seems so still. So peaceful.
Everything is so silent. But her professional experience reminds her that it's
anything but quiet in that room. He's hooked up to so many machines making all
sorts of beeps, blips, and hisses. The sounds of the machines measuring
Mulder's life. Or lack thereof.
Despite her efforts, a shocked gasp escapes her lips followed by a stream of
tears finally breaking free of their barrier. She closes her eyes to shut out
the sight before her and doesn't even notice herself sway unsteadily.
Instantly, she's flanked by Bill and Doggett, each holding on to one of her arms
to support her.
"Dana, are you alright?" Bill asks concerned. He's surprised to see his usually
unbreakable sister quickly shake her head and admit she was less than fine.
"I think I need to sit down," she whispers in a shaky breath. Through a haze,
she barely registers her brother and Doggett helping her to a chair next to
Mulder's door. The nurse in the room has noticed the commotion outside by now
and came over to close the blinds, blocking out the view into the room.
"Emily," Scully gasps, looking around desperately for her child. Her fog has
lifted and she realizes that her daughter is no longer anywhere around. "Where
is she?"
"It's okay, Dana," Bill assures her. "Mom and Tara took her and Matty down the
hall to the playroom."
"She can't . . . see him like this," Scully sobs. "Not with all the machines
and tubes."
"Don't worry, Dana," Skinner says soothingly, coming over to comfort her much
like her father would have. "We'll make sure she's taken care of. You just
worry about taking care of yourself. Because Mulder's going to need you whole
and complete if he's going to get through this."
She nods her thanks at him, feeling relieved that Emily will be looked after.
But also thankful for the reminder. She had to keep it together because so many
people were depending on her. She had to take care of Mulder and their
children. And to do that, she had to stay healthy. She gives all the men a
smile, assuring them that she would be okay, before she rises slowly and
carefully begins her way down the hall to the restroom to freshen up a bit. She
gets about halfway down the hall when a doctor emerges from Mulder's room.
"Dr. Reynolds," Doggett calls out to him. At the mention of this doctor, Scully
turns around and heads back towards the men, hearing Doggett continue his
questioning of the doctor. "How is he doing?"
"I'm not going to lie to you, Agent Doggett. It's not looking too good," the
doctor reluctantly admits. "He's not making as much progress as I had hoped by
this point in his treatment."
"How are you treating him?" Scully asks, surprising the doctor slightly since he
didn't see or hear her approach.
"Oh. I didn't realize Agent Mulder had more visitors. I'm Dr. Reynolds. Are
you his wife?" Taking in Scully's puffy eyes and red nose, he assumes this
guess is correct. But as a twinge of hurt fills her eyes, the doctor feels like
putting his foot in his mouth. First, he felt bad being so pessimistic about
his patient's condition and having this obviously distraught woman overhear.
And now, he feels even worse when he notes her ring free left hand gently
caress her rounded abdomen.
"No," she whispers. "I'm not his wife."
"Agent Scully's the only family Agent Mulder has," Skinner explains.
He places a hand around her waist and helps her into the chair again, without
any protests coming from the woman. Because the truth was, with her knees
feeling much like bowls of jelly, she could hardly support herself anymore.
Getting settled and taking a deep breath, she looks up to face the doctor again,
repeating her earlier question.
"I'm a doctor and Agent Mulder's personal physician. What exactly is his
condition and how are you treating him?" She seems to have found her voice
again because this time her question is more demanding. The doctor is almost
amazed at her transformation into clinical detachment.
"Mr. Mulder was in an explosion. The force of the explosion appeared to have
knocked him down a flight of stairs, which is where the head injury more than
likely resulted. He was unconscious for awhile in the burning building, so
smoke inhalation was inevitable. The head trauma for right now is secondary.
We're keeping an eye on that. But more than likely, he just has a concussion.
Our primary mission is to lower the levels of carbon monoxide in his blood
stream. This is his second round of dialysis. We're trying to replace the
poisoned blood with fresh oxygenated blood," the doctor explains.
"And the breathing machine?"
"A precaution for right now. We didn't want to tax his heart and lungs anymore
than necessary. And we need to make sure his brain gets enough oxygen. We'll be
taking him off the machine later this evening to see if he'll be able to breathe
adequately on his own." The doctor's beeper goes off and he reaches into his
pocket to retrieve it. "I'm sorry, that's an emergency. I'll be back later to
check on Agent Mulder. It was very nice meeting you Dr. Scully." He smiles
encouragingly at them all before walking away.
After the doctor leaves, Scully lets out a breath she didn't even know she was
holding. It takes her a minute to assimilate all that the doctor had told her.
But she files it away for later reviewing and mentally prepares herself to face
the three men who were staring down at her.
"I need to go in there," she finally says, swallowing back a sob. "I want him
to know I'm here."
"Are you sure, Agent Scully?" Doggett asks her. "You just got here. And I know
it's a shock seeing him like that . . . "
"John, please," she interrupts him. "I think after all we've been through, you
can call me Dana," she says with a small smile that barely extends past her
lips. "And yes, I'm sure. He has to know that I'm here. He needs to have
something to hold onto." She holds out her hand and grabs one of Doggett's,
using him to pull herself up. Immediately, Skinner takes his place at her other
side, supporting her as much as she'll allow. Bill holds the door open for
them and she pauses, just on the other side of the threshhold.
"Do you want to go in alone?" Bill asks her quietly.
"No," she whispers, shaking her head. "I can't do it alone yet."
"We'll be right here with you for as long as you need us, Dana," Skinner assures
her. He kisses her on the forehead before pulling her gently into the room.
The few steps to the bed seem to take an eternity. Skinner and Doggett can feel
her trembling and stop once more, making sure she still wanted to do this. She
nods silently and eases herself from their embrace, walking the rest of the way
on her own.
"Oh, Mulder," she sobs upon finally reaching his bedside. His lifeless form was
so pale and still, yet Scully could feel the inner turmoil of his body and soul.
He wanted to hang on, but his body was about to give up.
"Mulder," she whispers into his ear. "I don't know if you can hear me. But you
have to fight. I'm here. I'll help you. You just can't give up. You have to
come back to me. I need you." She pauses as a few tears escape. "I love you."
The tears continue to come as she lays her head on his chest, reveling in the
feeling of just being near him again. The rise and fall of his chest from the
breathing machine pushing air into his body soothe her. His steady heart beats
assure her that he's still in there. Eventually, her tears stops and she rises
from his bedside. Leaning over to gently kiss him, she whispers her good-bye
and promises to be back later. She looks up at her companions and notices their
equally teary expressions. A small smile is all she can muster.
"He'll be fine," she tells them. "He has to be." She straightens her back with
renewed determination and walks herself out the door, no longer relying on their
strength. She had Mulder back. And she had the strength of his beliefs fueling
her own faith. And right now, that's all that she needed.
To be continued . . .