I am extremely disappointed in the way Homer told the tale of the encounter
with the Cyclops. First of all, I am that Cyclops and I know what truly
happened. Homer is a little liar who deserves to be killed. Heh, in fact,
that is exactly what happened, I ate him. Yum. Anyway, that is beside the
point. If you ever read the epic that Homer supposedly wrote than make
sure you read this note first!
You may find this surprising, but I am a male Cyclops. Well, okay, that wasn't too surprising… However I am a cross dressing Cyclops! Yes, it is true, my friends call me feminine sometimes, but I take it as a compliment. Now let me tell you the real tale of the Cyclops and Odysseus. By the way, my name is Swiggy.
The sun was shining and the air was full of the fresh smell of spring. I woke up from my cozy bed and put on a light spring dress. Skipping out of my cave I was whistling a gentle tune along with the birds outside. I breathed in the fresh air and strolled up to the mountain to go pick some wild flowers. They were so pretty, I could not resist.
Soon the sky was getting darker and well I hate the dark, it scares the living daylights out of me. So I ran home with tons and tons of flowers in my arms. As I entered my beautiful cave I saw a bunch of men eating all of my food! Now this made me angry! Grr! I quickly scanned the room to see how many men were there. Then my eye came across this one man. He was gorgeous! I felt this funny feeling in my knees and I felt like collapsing. Well, it turns out I did. I started to fall and then the man caught me in his arms. He was so strong, I mean, come on, I was a good two or three sizes bigger than him.
I awoke in my bed and saw "the man laying next to me on the floor. He smelt like pig guts, but I found that rather attractive. Was this love? He gently petted my head and gave me some herbal tea to drink. Then his crew came over too him and started to make fun of him because he was blushing! How cruel! I got up from my bed and together with the mysterious hot man slaughtered all the members of the crew and ate them later for supper.
After eating everyone, we had a long conversation about ourselves. He said his name was Odysseus. Wow! What a lovely name! I asked if I could call him Ody for short and do you know what he said? Yes. I couldn't stop giggling! He was so cute. I felt like a little school Cyclops in 6th grade or something of that sort. Ody made me so happy.
Later that night, we watched some awesome movies. Zeus was being kind and decided to somehow make pictures move in a little stone box. After that he tucked me into my bed and kissed me on the forehead, right above my one eye. He read me a bedtime story, put out the fire, and went to sleep on the floor.
As I woke up I smelt pancakes cooking over the fire. How sweet! He was making me breakfast! Yay! I love Ody so much! I hope he stays with me forever and ever! After we devoured the pancakes, Ody helped me pick out a dress to wear. Then we went outside. He took me up to the highest mountain he could find and then sat me down on a comfy rock. He dropped down onto his knee and proposed to me! Oh my! Oh my! I was so exited! I threw my heavy arms around his neck and immediately said yes.
From then on Ody and I have lived happily ever after. Homer mixed everything up. He didn't want people to think that Cyclops' has feelings like a human, but boy was he wrong! For real life, Ody never went back home. He stayed with me even though I was a gay, cross-dressing Cyclops.
You may find this surprising, but I am a male Cyclops. Well, okay, that wasn't too surprising… However I am a cross dressing Cyclops! Yes, it is true, my friends call me feminine sometimes, but I take it as a compliment. Now let me tell you the real tale of the Cyclops and Odysseus. By the way, my name is Swiggy.
The sun was shining and the air was full of the fresh smell of spring. I woke up from my cozy bed and put on a light spring dress. Skipping out of my cave I was whistling a gentle tune along with the birds outside. I breathed in the fresh air and strolled up to the mountain to go pick some wild flowers. They were so pretty, I could not resist.
Soon the sky was getting darker and well I hate the dark, it scares the living daylights out of me. So I ran home with tons and tons of flowers in my arms. As I entered my beautiful cave I saw a bunch of men eating all of my food! Now this made me angry! Grr! I quickly scanned the room to see how many men were there. Then my eye came across this one man. He was gorgeous! I felt this funny feeling in my knees and I felt like collapsing. Well, it turns out I did. I started to fall and then the man caught me in his arms. He was so strong, I mean, come on, I was a good two or three sizes bigger than him.
I awoke in my bed and saw "the man laying next to me on the floor. He smelt like pig guts, but I found that rather attractive. Was this love? He gently petted my head and gave me some herbal tea to drink. Then his crew came over too him and started to make fun of him because he was blushing! How cruel! I got up from my bed and together with the mysterious hot man slaughtered all the members of the crew and ate them later for supper.
After eating everyone, we had a long conversation about ourselves. He said his name was Odysseus. Wow! What a lovely name! I asked if I could call him Ody for short and do you know what he said? Yes. I couldn't stop giggling! He was so cute. I felt like a little school Cyclops in 6th grade or something of that sort. Ody made me so happy.
Later that night, we watched some awesome movies. Zeus was being kind and decided to somehow make pictures move in a little stone box. After that he tucked me into my bed and kissed me on the forehead, right above my one eye. He read me a bedtime story, put out the fire, and went to sleep on the floor.
As I woke up I smelt pancakes cooking over the fire. How sweet! He was making me breakfast! Yay! I love Ody so much! I hope he stays with me forever and ever! After we devoured the pancakes, Ody helped me pick out a dress to wear. Then we went outside. He took me up to the highest mountain he could find and then sat me down on a comfy rock. He dropped down onto his knee and proposed to me! Oh my! Oh my! I was so exited! I threw my heavy arms around his neck and immediately said yes.
From then on Ody and I have lived happily ever after. Homer mixed everything up. He didn't want people to think that Cyclops' has feelings like a human, but boy was he wrong! For real life, Ody never went back home. He stayed with me even though I was a gay, cross-dressing Cyclops.