Chapter 1- Angela
"Where in the smeg are we?" Said Ace, grabbing his wig before it fell. Thank god for safety belts of he could have gone through the windshield. "Why did we crash?"
"Ace, you really should practice using the Ace voice." Said the computer. She smiled down at him from the overhead monitor.
Ace Rimmer cleared his throat. "Sorry, don't know what came over me." Ace straightened his wig and sat back up on his seat. His shirt had gotten snagged on something and had a huge rip in it. "That was a good top, damnit." He mumbled.
"Shame." Said The computer.
"So, what happened?" Ace snapped at her, forgetting once again to do his Ace voice.
The computer shook her head in disgust. "You really must have taken a bump on the head there."
Ace realized he had done it again. He didn't feel like admitting to the computer, who was quite gorgeous, but the biggest pest, that he never had gotten used to using that stupid voice in the two years of being Ace so far, and he probably never would be. "Will you please just smegging tell me what happened!" He shouted in Rimmer's whiney voice.
"Alright! Keep your wig on!" She shouted. Her face left the monitor for a few seconds and then returned. "um… please don't be mad at me… but."
Ace checked his appearance in the mirror to make sure he looked like Ace. "I won't be." He said, finally coming to his senses. This time he said it in a very masculine Ace voice.
"I seem to have crashed us right into a planetoid. I don't know what happened, Maybe I punched the coordinates in wrong."
Ace sighed. "Damage report?"
"Hmm, nothing but that shirt, I guess."
Ace laughed. "I suppose I'll live without it." Ace got up and pushed open the cockpit door. He stepped out of it onto a desert planet. The wind was calm.
"One more thing, I can't take off again, too much sand. You'll have to shovel it away." Ace went into storage to find a shovel and began to get the sand out of the way. There was quite a bit, so it would be quite a bit or work.
"Need a hand?"
Ace jumped back. That wasn't the voice of the computer. He looked around until he saw someone. Whoever they were, they were just standing there in a white space suit that covered their face. Their voice sounded female.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, there is a life sign. Funny how these things can slip your mind." Said the computer.
Ace put his shovel down in the sand and walked over to the human. Well, he was pretty sure it was human. "Thanks, but I think I've got it under control. Names Ace Rimmer." He held out a hand. Whoever was inside that space suit reached out and shook it. "Who might you be?"
"I've got a better question, how can you breath this atmosphere? You look like a human, but…"
"There will be time for an explanation later." Said Ace. "Would you like to come inside the wildfire for a bit and take that space suit off?" he offered.
"Really? I'd love to. I get so sweaty in these things."
Ace lead her into the cockpit and used the seal. He hadn't had to use it in awhile. "Turn on the O/G unit please." Said Ace to the computer. The fans told him that she had done it. "Just a few minutes till' the air is breathable."
"thank you" she said. Ace could defiantly tell this was a woman. Something seemed different about her, and he hadn't even seen her. Something in her voice.
"The air is breathable enough for you to remove your space suit, love." Said the computer.
The woman reached for her helmet and took it off. She shook her head so her hair was back to normal. She was beautiful. Her skin was a light olive color, and her hair was shoulder length and a beautiful hazel color. Her eyes were brown like mocha. She smiled. She unzipped the space suit. Ace watched her very closely. Sure he had seen many beautiful woman, but something seemed different about her.
The woman was wearing a casual orange T-shirt that said Sunshine. it showed off her small figure, and jeans.
Ace smiled. "You haven't told me you're name yet." He said.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Its Angela."
"that's a beautiful name. Just Angela, or is there more?"
"There's more, but its just Angela for now."
"So Angela, what brings you to a desert planet like this?" he asked her.
"I was just exploring." She explained.
"By yourself?" he asked.
She nodded. She started to look a little uneasy. "What about you?"
"I was dimension jumping, seems we made a mistake and ended up here." He explained.
Angela smiled. "That was quite a crash."
Ace returned the smile. "So, anything I can do for you? Update your ship? Need any supplies?"
"Well, blue midget could use an upgrade."
"blue midget?" it couldn't be! Blue midget was a ship on Red Dwarf! How did she get her hands on one of them? Could she have stolen it?
"I'd be glad to." He said, grabbing his supplies.
Angela pulled her space suit back on and put the helmet on. Ace opened the cockpit door and they both stepped out. "its over there somewhere."
Ace and Angela walked silently until they reached blue midget. At the sight of it, Ace got a little homesick. He had so many memories on Red Dwarf with his crew members. He missed them. "Angie, hope you don't mind me asking, but where did you get this ship?"
The smile wore off Angela's face. "Red Dwarf" She mumbled.
"Well how? Did they give it to you, did you steal it?" he asked.
"I don't know what you are talking about." She mumbled. She sounded like she was going to cry. Ace wondered what he had said to make her so upset. Angela sighed. "By any chance are you related to Arnold Rimmer?" She asked.
"You could say that." He said. "How do you know Arnie?"
"he and the others rescued me when my other ship crashed. My crew mates dies, but he saved my life." She explained.
"Oh, I see." That made sense. They probably took her aboard, and gave her blue midget. "Well, its all upgraded."
"Thanks."
"no problem. Perhaps you would like to have some fantastic sex later." He offered.
What a strange offer. "um, I don't know. That's a little upfront, don't you think?"
Ace shrugged "Its ok if you don't want to." Well this was a little strange. Most woman couldn't resist him. Why wasn't she jumping at the idea of spending a night with him?
"I didn't necessarily say that."
"So you want to?"
"Ace, I just met you, well sort of." Angela thought for a moment. "I think Arnie mentioned you. You are from a parallel dimension where you got all the lucky breaks. Something like that."
"You could say that." Ace decided to be a little mysterious. She was, by not telling him her last name, but that really didn't mean much.
~
Myra and Kochanski sat in the lounge with Vodkas. Myra was lonely without Angela. They had almost been sisters.
"Maybe we should-"
"Look Kris, I know what you are going to say, just save it!" Myra snapped.
"I was just going to say 'get another vodka'." Kochanski lied.
"Sorry." Myra apologized.
Kochanski got up and walked into the kitchen. She didn't feel like being around Myra when she was in this mood. She was down enough, she didn't need Myra bringing her down more.
She felt Dave kissing the back of her neck. It startled her a little bit, and she yelped.
"What's the matter, Kris?" He asked her.
"Sorry Dave." She answered.
"Where in the smeg are we?" Said Ace, grabbing his wig before it fell. Thank god for safety belts of he could have gone through the windshield. "Why did we crash?"
"Ace, you really should practice using the Ace voice." Said the computer. She smiled down at him from the overhead monitor.
Ace Rimmer cleared his throat. "Sorry, don't know what came over me." Ace straightened his wig and sat back up on his seat. His shirt had gotten snagged on something and had a huge rip in it. "That was a good top, damnit." He mumbled.
"Shame." Said The computer.
"So, what happened?" Ace snapped at her, forgetting once again to do his Ace voice.
The computer shook her head in disgust. "You really must have taken a bump on the head there."
Ace realized he had done it again. He didn't feel like admitting to the computer, who was quite gorgeous, but the biggest pest, that he never had gotten used to using that stupid voice in the two years of being Ace so far, and he probably never would be. "Will you please just smegging tell me what happened!" He shouted in Rimmer's whiney voice.
"Alright! Keep your wig on!" She shouted. Her face left the monitor for a few seconds and then returned. "um… please don't be mad at me… but."
Ace checked his appearance in the mirror to make sure he looked like Ace. "I won't be." He said, finally coming to his senses. This time he said it in a very masculine Ace voice.
"I seem to have crashed us right into a planetoid. I don't know what happened, Maybe I punched the coordinates in wrong."
Ace sighed. "Damage report?"
"Hmm, nothing but that shirt, I guess."
Ace laughed. "I suppose I'll live without it." Ace got up and pushed open the cockpit door. He stepped out of it onto a desert planet. The wind was calm.
"One more thing, I can't take off again, too much sand. You'll have to shovel it away." Ace went into storage to find a shovel and began to get the sand out of the way. There was quite a bit, so it would be quite a bit or work.
"Need a hand?"
Ace jumped back. That wasn't the voice of the computer. He looked around until he saw someone. Whoever they were, they were just standing there in a white space suit that covered their face. Their voice sounded female.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, there is a life sign. Funny how these things can slip your mind." Said the computer.
Ace put his shovel down in the sand and walked over to the human. Well, he was pretty sure it was human. "Thanks, but I think I've got it under control. Names Ace Rimmer." He held out a hand. Whoever was inside that space suit reached out and shook it. "Who might you be?"
"I've got a better question, how can you breath this atmosphere? You look like a human, but…"
"There will be time for an explanation later." Said Ace. "Would you like to come inside the wildfire for a bit and take that space suit off?" he offered.
"Really? I'd love to. I get so sweaty in these things."
Ace lead her into the cockpit and used the seal. He hadn't had to use it in awhile. "Turn on the O/G unit please." Said Ace to the computer. The fans told him that she had done it. "Just a few minutes till' the air is breathable."
"thank you" she said. Ace could defiantly tell this was a woman. Something seemed different about her, and he hadn't even seen her. Something in her voice.
"The air is breathable enough for you to remove your space suit, love." Said the computer.
The woman reached for her helmet and took it off. She shook her head so her hair was back to normal. She was beautiful. Her skin was a light olive color, and her hair was shoulder length and a beautiful hazel color. Her eyes were brown like mocha. She smiled. She unzipped the space suit. Ace watched her very closely. Sure he had seen many beautiful woman, but something seemed different about her.
The woman was wearing a casual orange T-shirt that said Sunshine. it showed off her small figure, and jeans.
Ace smiled. "You haven't told me you're name yet." He said.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Its Angela."
"that's a beautiful name. Just Angela, or is there more?"
"There's more, but its just Angela for now."
"So Angela, what brings you to a desert planet like this?" he asked her.
"I was just exploring." She explained.
"By yourself?" he asked.
She nodded. She started to look a little uneasy. "What about you?"
"I was dimension jumping, seems we made a mistake and ended up here." He explained.
Angela smiled. "That was quite a crash."
Ace returned the smile. "So, anything I can do for you? Update your ship? Need any supplies?"
"Well, blue midget could use an upgrade."
"blue midget?" it couldn't be! Blue midget was a ship on Red Dwarf! How did she get her hands on one of them? Could she have stolen it?
"I'd be glad to." He said, grabbing his supplies.
Angela pulled her space suit back on and put the helmet on. Ace opened the cockpit door and they both stepped out. "its over there somewhere."
Ace and Angela walked silently until they reached blue midget. At the sight of it, Ace got a little homesick. He had so many memories on Red Dwarf with his crew members. He missed them. "Angie, hope you don't mind me asking, but where did you get this ship?"
The smile wore off Angela's face. "Red Dwarf" She mumbled.
"Well how? Did they give it to you, did you steal it?" he asked.
"I don't know what you are talking about." She mumbled. She sounded like she was going to cry. Ace wondered what he had said to make her so upset. Angela sighed. "By any chance are you related to Arnold Rimmer?" She asked.
"You could say that." He said. "How do you know Arnie?"
"he and the others rescued me when my other ship crashed. My crew mates dies, but he saved my life." She explained.
"Oh, I see." That made sense. They probably took her aboard, and gave her blue midget. "Well, its all upgraded."
"Thanks."
"no problem. Perhaps you would like to have some fantastic sex later." He offered.
What a strange offer. "um, I don't know. That's a little upfront, don't you think?"
Ace shrugged "Its ok if you don't want to." Well this was a little strange. Most woman couldn't resist him. Why wasn't she jumping at the idea of spending a night with him?
"I didn't necessarily say that."
"So you want to?"
"Ace, I just met you, well sort of." Angela thought for a moment. "I think Arnie mentioned you. You are from a parallel dimension where you got all the lucky breaks. Something like that."
"You could say that." Ace decided to be a little mysterious. She was, by not telling him her last name, but that really didn't mean much.
~
Myra and Kochanski sat in the lounge with Vodkas. Myra was lonely without Angela. They had almost been sisters.
"Maybe we should-"
"Look Kris, I know what you are going to say, just save it!" Myra snapped.
"I was just going to say 'get another vodka'." Kochanski lied.
"Sorry." Myra apologized.
Kochanski got up and walked into the kitchen. She didn't feel like being around Myra when she was in this mood. She was down enough, she didn't need Myra bringing her down more.
She felt Dave kissing the back of her neck. It startled her a little bit, and she yelped.
"What's the matter, Kris?" He asked her.
"Sorry Dave." She answered.