A/N: In this chapter we'll be switching back and forth from present day Trunks and Pan and Pan being with Mogiri. The conversations/actions of the past will be in italics to help make it clearer. From now on all use of Italics will represent Pan's memories and/or past lives. So for this chapter…
Pan w/Mogiri= Italics
Pan w/Trunks= normal type
Got it everyone? Good! You all get stickers. J
" Not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the
power to forget, is a necessary condition for our existence."
Sholem Asch
Pan tried to read Trunks's face as she spoke, resisting the urge to telepathically find out whether he believed her or not. He hadn't said a word since she began and his expression showed no reaction the entire time. Note to self: he's been working on his poker face over the years, she thought.
She closed her eyes for a moment to savor the fact that she was in his presence again. The teenage crush had subsided long ago and had become something on a much deeper level. As she had expected, her soul had rushed toward his at meeting one another again. It wasn't quite like the sensation when your heart quickens when you catch sight of people you care about. The feeling was like pure joy wanting to erupt from your upper chest and out through your throat. But that's the reaction when soul mates come together and one happens to recognize the other…Mogiri had taught her that.
"
So…what are we going to do today? Do we get to spar at all?" asked Pan eagerly.
Mogiri
cracked open one eye to glare at her from his meditative position. She cringed
realizing she had interrupted his concentration.
" Is
busting heads the only thing you like to do?" he asked in annoyance.
Pan
laughed a little and shook her head. " No! But God Mogi, the past few weeks
it's been constant meditation, vibration exercises, telepathy work…my body
wants a workout. I'm sick of sitting around," she answered.
Mogiri
had now opened both of his eyes and began to stretch his aged frame carefully.
" Ulmea!
If you call me " Mogi" one more time I will permanently imprint your mind with
a vision of Richard Simmons dancing in a tight skimpy leotard to traditional
polka music!" he threatened.
The
young student remained silent for a few moments paralyzed by fear. Her lips
began to tremble.
"
You…you wouldn't dare," she challenged weakly.
The tall
alien folded his arms. " You know that I despise lying, so I don't make hollow
threats. I may live down here now but
I'm still aware of what goes on in the world and what people truly fear. Don't
cross me sa-bu or I'll play hardball," he replied with an edge.
" You'd
make me continually watch such a horrific scene?" she asked, raising an eyebrow
at him.
Pan's
face strained for a moment or two before bursting out into laughter. Almost
immediately after she heard him join in. * laughter *
" Damn
it to hell you always can keep a straight face longer than I can!" laughed Pan.
" Who would have thought you to be such a cruel sadistic alien? Ha! All this
B.S. preaching about love, harmony, etc…I knew you had a dark side and a taste
for evil."
" Evil
is what spawned that man, music and show. Sometimes I think the human race is
masochistic in the way they create, it's truly frightening. But to answer your
question, no we will not be sparring today. Don't give me that look. I have a
few things to go over with you before we incorporate your new abilities with
your saiyan ones," said Mogiri.
He
headed towards the small temple he kept with Pan following close behind.
Pillars made of stone and plant material supported the domed structure. A few
rays of light rained down from the center of the roof through a small circular
skylight. Smooth tiles made up the floor with dark brown roots arranging a
pattern radiating from the center outward. The Tulanti technology was a strange
fusion of organic and inorganic materials.
Pan had
a feeling that this would be serious since he had made the temple their
destination. Mogiri only used this holy spot when he prayed or dealt with great
spiritual matters.
They
both sat down opposite one another in the dimly lit temple, separated by the
soft pillar of light that descended from above. It was quiet for a few minutes
while they both breathed in relaxation.
" For
some time now I have forced you to look deeply inside yourself. To be familiar
with your passions, fears, dreams and needs. It is no easy task to face your
demons or become aware of things about yourself you did not know about. You
have been very brave so far," began Mogiri.
Pan
smiled at his compliment. " Thank you sensei. It was scary and a bit upsetting
I'll admit," she said.
Mogiri
nodded. " That is why most people don't work on themselves. They are afraid of
what they will find. So they choose to remain " stuck", keeping their
dysfunction because it is familiar to them. Pan, in doing this I have helped
you come to know who you are now. The next step concerns learning who you have been,"
he said looking at her intently.
" Who I
have been?" she asked nervously.
" I
believe you have heard of the concept of Reincarnation? A few Earthling
religions have incorporated it into their belief systems," he replied.
Pan
shrugged. " I have a general idea of what it is. Past lives, karma, soul mates…I
never really bought into it. It just seemed too strange, the idea of constantly
coming back. What's the point?"
Mogiri
looked at his student warmly and raised two fingers slowly. In the light he
brought forth a small image of a couple of incandescent beings. The beings had
no true form and their light pulsed and shimmered as they danced around each
other playfully.
" The
point sa-bu is to learn. To achieve a greater understanding, spiritual growth
and learn all the lessons regarding " love". Souls of all ages incarnate in
this dimension or what you'd consider the "physical world" in order to
progress," he answered her, then seeing her confused face he decided to explain
in simpler terms " Picture the Earth as the classroom for the students, who are
the souls. With that in mind realize that they all have assignments, lessons
and tests to deal with. Sometimes they pass and sometimes they fail. But the
good thing is that one can always take a makeup exam, so to speak. If a soul
struggles with a certain phase, they simply try again in another life."
Pan
nodded now and drummed her fingers softly on her folded legs. Her parents had
never been religious but she believed in some kind of spirituality. She had
decided that life was too amazing and that there had to be something behind it.
What Mogiri was saying seemed to make sense but it was still hard to grasp.
" How come we don't remember Mogiri?" she
asked.
*
laughter* " Some souls have lived thousands of lifetimes, could you imagine the
sheer insanity that would result from that knowledge when they are corporal?
Actually it would interfere with them learning and the task they have assigned
themselves to do. All the emotions, regrets, and memories would serve as a huge
distraction. But sometimes karma can seep through incarnations. There are tales
of women who have been medically told they are infertile. Then, after they have
adopted someone else's child, have suddenly become pregnant. It is a constant
weighing of actions and deeds, bad and good. A man who is terrified of the
water may have probably drowned in his previous life. These kinds of
occurrences are rare however. The point of not remembering when coming here is
necessary for us to function. Before we are born we loosely plan out what we
want to work on and to do that you need a clean slate to start," said Mogiri.
Pan
frowned slightly. " Then why are we trying to have me remember? From what
you're telling me it doesn't seem like this is a good idea."
" Our
goal is not to have you remember all your previous incarnations in detail. I
wish to give you the ability to reach back to remember moments in time from
which you can learn. Past mistakes or successes can help you on your way to
enlightenment. In doing this you can also access certain talents you might have
had once to assist you in your current form."
Suddenly
Pan wondered if she had been 5'10 with blue eyes and long red hair. She then
heard Mogiri snort at her.
" Not
that kind of talent," he said rolling his eyes.
" Oh
leave a girl her pipe-dreams," she grinned.
Mogiri closed his eyes for a moment and the soul images
began to form clusters.
"
They've made little groups," observed Pan.
" Yes.
All of us belong to our own soul group. It's comprised of souls who band
together to experience and learn with one another. In reality soul groups can
be quite large, this example here is a simplified version. You can pretty much
think of them as your support group. Some souls you are more attuned to than
others. The strongest ones that you have a bond with can be considered soul
mates. Contrary to popular belief you can have more than one. They'll tend to
incarnate as your best friends or lovers. Other close souls will have various
family roles or be helpful people at times in your life. It is such a feeling
to find your soul mates. If you can recognize them…life never gives up such
gifts easily."
Pan
considered his words, wondering if she wanted to know her soul's past. Was she
strong enough to deal with it? Still, she had been in training for over a year
now and believed that she could cope well enough. But it seemed to be a
dangerous game, grasping at moments in time and keeping the emotions at bay.
Mogiri
could sense her apprehension and understood all too well. This was not a
decision to be made lightly. While the ability to remember and see souls was
remarkable, it was not without it's price at times.
" Do not
be afraid. The day I let something happen to you is the day when the sun
refuses to rise. I will be guiding you during your regressions, you won't be
alone." He said to reassure her.
She
sighed and looked down at her hands, inspecting the grooved lines on her palms.
" Ok then. I trust you more than anyone else in the world Mogiri. Besides it
might be cool, maybe I'll find out I was Joan of Arc or something," she said
smiling to herself.
The
alien reached forward, placing his fingers along her brows and on the sides of
her face. She closed her eyes and heard him speak to her softly.
" First
I must unlock the doorway. This will be painful and I don't know how it will
affect you given your makeup. Just remember to keep your link with me and I
will keep you afloat sa-bu. There it is…can you feel it? Touch the light, Ulmea
I forgot how beautiful it was…oh look Pan, they're smiling…"
" Sweet Jesus," said Trunks finally. Pan stopped and looked at him questioningly.
" Oh come on, you have to admit this is a lot to take in Panny," he said folding his arms. " Did you tell your parents about all of this?"
Pan tugged at the grass on the ground unconsciously.
" Of course I did. I have no reason to lie. They were the first to know," she answered. Her mouth began to form a frown. " You don't believe me do you?"
Trunks sighed and shook his head. " No I do believe you, that's why it's so weird. If you say the sky is red then it's red. As far as I've always been concerned if you say it's true then its true," he replied in a frank manner.
" Even when I've told you that you can be a conceited pig headed jerk?" she asked smirking at him.
" Especially then. I really was a piece of work wasn't I?" he asked with a grin.
" You still are but I think that father time has mellowed you out some," she observed.
Trunks took a drink of water from his bottle and offered it to her. Pan smiled and shook her head to decline.
" Let's just keep the word " father" and lose the "time". Being a single dad sure was a wake up call. And I used to think it was tough when I had Marron with me," he said.
" Trunks…I wanted to ask you something, so feel free to tell me to mind my own business if you want. How did you two get together anyway?" asked Pan.
He smiled softly and looked past her, obviously remembering some memory from long ago. Pan immediately felt guilty for bringing the topic up and scolded herself for it.
" I'd say we started seeing one another about three months after you had left. We had a lot of fun together. You know Marron; she had such optimism and always had a cheerful outlook. We'd only been dating a few months when…this is embarrassing, well she got pregnant. Please resist the urge to knock me upside the head because we were being safe. But everyone knows there's always a risk. Anyway I was floored when she told me the news let me tell you. I felt that it would be best for the kid if we got married so I asked and she accepted. It's not the most romantic story out there…but it's mine. I think I eventually came to really love Marron. She gave me such a precious gift…our daughter."
" Liv is the best of both of you, y'know," said Pan thoughtfully.
Trunks laughed lightly at her comment. " Oh and plenty of the worst too at times but I'm sure you'll see that soon enough. I think she wants to attach herself permanently to your leg from what I'm hearing," he said.
She thought of the little girl with the infectious smile and innocent eyes. Pan had to confess that she was quite taken with Trunks's daughter.
" I'm just as fond of her. You realize I'm going to have to kidnap her often. Life can be so fascinating sometimes and always keep you guessing. Did you ever in a million years think that you, Mr. Capsule Corp President, would be playing the role of a single parent?" she asked him.
The purple haired demi saiyan shook his head and took another drink.
" Nope. But you won't hear me complaining either. By the way it's Mr. Vice President now," he informed her.
Pan's mouth dropped in surprise.
" Then who…" she began to ask before he cut her off.
" Bra is. She took over after Marron's death since I had my hands full. I wouldn't have been able to fill the role of being a father if I had stayed on as President. In all honesty Bra is doing an incredible job and frankly I've never been happier. Although I'm VP, I pretty much oversee our Innovations division. I secretly always wanted to be able to invent rather than run a multi-million dollar corporation," Trunks admitted.
" Well that's no surprise. Nearly everyone knew you weren't keen on taking over for Bulma. I think you've found yourself a good balance Mr. Briefs," said Pan with a smile as she rose to her feet.
Trunks regarded her for a moment before following suit.
" That must've been quite an experience," he said quietly.
Pan turned to him raising an eyebrow. " What was?" she asked.
" Mogiri opening the doorway for you. You've changed and grown yet you're still the Pan I remember. But your ki is different now and your eyes…" he trailed off, not sure how to continue.
" It was a physical transformation as well, we hadn't expected that. I suppose it was an effect from accessing the totality of my Tulantian abilities. My eyes went golden to resemble Mogiri's a bit and I grew about 7 inches. I was happy as hell about that last change. Now you and Goten can't start singing " Weeeeeee represent…the Lollipop Guild…" when I'm around," she said with a small laugh.
Trunks threw his head back laughing at the memory. He walked over and slung his arm around her neck playfully.
" God it's good to have you back. You're not allowed to leave anymore you hear me? No more soul-searching journeys…or I'll be forced to chain you in the basement," he chuckled.
Pan grinned and slapped him on the back playfully.
" You promise?" she asked evilly.
" Cute."
" No worries Trunks, I'm sticking around. I'm always going to be here for you and Liv," she promised.
As they walked back to Trunks's capsule car Pan knew that her soul was dancing. She had meant every word that she said. Having such good friends was a blessing in her attempt to start a new life back here. And because of that everything seemed so much easier now.
A/N: You can't write a DBZ fic without a gratuitous "party thrown by Bulma at CC"scene…so guess what's coming next chapter? But it's not all fun…Vegeta tries to see if Pan has picked up any new tricks. Please continue to R/R, I appreciate it!