" The best part of a kiss, I think,
is when you
see that head coming towards you and
you know
that you're going to get kissed.
That moment, just
before is so exquisite…"
Jane
Campion's film version of the Henry
James classic Portrait of a Lady
Bra sat facing the huge window behind her desk ignoring the piles of reports that demanded attention. She watched the soft clouds roll by slowly in the bright azure sky in a bit of a daze. It was such a gorgeous day and she was stuck inside. Twirling a finger around a blue lock of hair, she thought about having lunch outside of the office today but then remembered no one was available. Pan was busy like most of her friends. Trunks, her mother and Videl were all caught up with work. Her father loved food but not enough to be surrounded by " weak humans". Her heart then spoke up and reminded her that she hadn't asked Goten.
The young woman sighed and closed her eyes. Now that was a waste of her time for sure. She had taken Pan's advice to heart that Goten was interested but needed some encouragement. Over the past few weeks she had flirted, hinted, offered…everything short of knocking him over the head and dragging him to dinner. The results were less than inspiring. If there was one person who was slower than Goku at picking up on female hints, it was his son. Subtlety had failed her as had trying to take the initiative. Bra in fact began to doubt if he had any feelings for her at all and that Pan had been mistaken about him. But when she started to lose hope a tiny almost childlike voice inside would always whisper to her. ' Don't give up. Try again.'
She took comfort in the fact that while he hadn't warmed up, he didn't exactly cool off to her either. Goten was always a perfect gentleman around her. He always seemed happy to see her, complimented her often, opened doors but he just wouldn't take that next step that she wished he would. Maybe it's because I'm his boss, she wondered.
That seemed unlikely considering how many of her male employees had made it clear that they were interested. But perhaps it bothered Goten.
Bra swiveled around in her chair and stood up. She wouldn't find out by mulling it over in her office. Briefly glancing in a mirror to see if she looked all right, she then left and took an elevator to the PR department floor. His office was easy to find since she had been there a time or two beforehand. Ignoring the stares of employees she passed in the hallway, she came to a stop at his door and knocked quickly. His voice answered, giving the OK to enter. She turned the knob slowly and entered wondering at the same time why she was so nervous all of a sudden.
His dark head was bent down while he talked quietly on the phone. Judging from the few comments she heard, Bra could tell it was a reporter he was speaking with. She patiently leaned against the wall and waited for his conversation to come to an end.
Putting the phone down Goten looked up to find it was Bra who had come to visit him. He smiled and straightened some of the papers on his desk.
" Bra! Hey!" he greeted.
Bra smiled back and walked up to his desk.
" Hi," she replied.
Goten glanced at his watch and then stood up. " I was just about to go get something to eat. Do you want to come with me? My treat," he offered.
Bra managed to nod while reeling from his sudden invite. Out of the blue he just asked her out to eat! She hadn't had to bring up the subject or be the one to ask him. All she had done was show up. If things made little sense before, they made even less sense now.
" Great," he said, opening the door for her. They chatted as they rode the elevator down to the main lobby on the first floor and made their way out to the city street. Goten took her hand and led her down the street, leaving Bra to guess their destination.
They came to a stop in front of a hotdog vendor and Bra barely kept from bursting out laughing right then and there. Goten turned away from the vendor and ended up seeing her expression. He glanced down at the hotdog in his hand and then back at her with an embarrassed look on his face.
" Oh. I wasn't thinking. You're probably used to eating in nice restaurants and here I bring you to one of these," he said apologetically.
Bra panicked and worried he would take her reaction the wrong way. His crestfallen features told her that he had.
" No Goten, this is fine! Really. I just found it funny that this is what you would pick out because it is so you. I love hotdogs, it's not like I haven't eaten them before. Give me one with everything on it please," she requested to the vendor man.
The scruffy man smiled at her and whipped one up quickly.
She thanked him and took a bite while watching Goten start to brighten. Her heart tightened as she gazed up into his shiny dark eyes.
" Contrary to what you might think. I'm a regular city kid at heart just as much as you are," she told him between bites.
Goten grinned down at her, happy that Bra was enjoying herself.
" God bless you Goten. Because of your appetite I stay in business," chuckled the vendor man, handing him another.
" Anything for you Sam," Goten replied while taking a bite.
" Ha! Don't listen to him Sam, he's not doing out of the goodness of his heart but his stomach. He can almost eat as much as me," said Bra with a sly grin.
Sam look at her quizzically, comparing her slender frame to the tall and muscular man next to her.
" That eating contest took place ten years ago," argued Goten with his mouth full.
" And as I recall I won so don't you forget it," Bra retorted playfully.
Sam chuckled and gave Goten a wink.
" So you found one that can keep up with you, eh?" he asked.
Bra giggled at seeing Goten start to blush.
Goten studied Bra who was laughing along with Sam. She was so beautiful when she laughed and she didn't do that nearly enough. He'd been surprised at himself when he invited her to come out with him. The sudden boldness seemed to have come out of nowhere but he was grateful for it. Normally he would've been too frightened to try such a thing. He saw her ocean blue eyes lift up to meet his gaze. She had ceased laughing and gave him a gentle smile. Goten could see the longing and hope in her eyes and his fears began to subside.
" It looks like I have," he answered Sam, keeping his eyes on Bra. He broke the gaze to look at his watch. " We'd better get back, my lunch break is nearly over."
Bra sighed in disappointment. After finally being able to be with him one on one, work was calling them back. Well screw that, she thought. Being President gave her a few perks and it was about time she used them.
" Let's take the rest of the day off and have some fun," she told him.
Goten eyed her nervously. " Are you sure that's a good idea? My supervisor might not think so," he questioned.
" It will be fine, I'll explain things later. Come on! We can go for a walk, go to a bar or go dancing…there are tons of things we could do. It's a beautiful day," she pressured sweetly.
" All right you win," he resigned. He paid Sam and walked back over to Bra. Goten smiled down at her and took her left hand gently in his right. He felt so alive and happy in her presence. It was silly how she reduced him to a nervous schoolboy when he was around her.
" Ok then pretty lady lead the way. I'm all yours," he said to her.
Trunks twisted mid-air and brought his fist into contact with his father's jaw, causing the older saiyan to stagger back.
Vegeta narrowed his eyes as he wiped away the small trickle of blood that ran down his chin. In a flash he was attacking Trunks again fiercely pushing his son to his limits. The demi saiyan endured the brutal assault, blocking the majority of his lightening fast kicks and punches. His senses told him that the boy was very close to achieving level two and that it was just a matter of time.
Gathering his strength, Trunks phased down to the floor knowing Vegeta would follow. He swiped his father as he appeared next to him, knocking the feet out from under the prince. Vegeta flipped back on his feet instantaneously, grabbed his son by the hair and pulled down, slamming his knee into the man's face. Trunks fell back and groaned.
" Damn, that hurt," Trunks muttered, his hands rising to inspect his face.
Vegeta smirked and powered down a bit. It was time to take a break anyway since they had been going for eighteen hours straight. His son had impressed him by being able to keep up with his harsh training. Pan had helped him become more powerful and now he was determined to get his son to follow suit. He wanted to see Trunks realize his full potential and not waste away and grow weak on this backwater planet.
He walked over to his son and tossed him a towel.
" Well?" he asked irritably.
" It's not broken," Trunks replied, wincing as he felt around his nose.
" If you're that worried about your poor little nose you can use your mother's regeneration tanks," Vegeta said, taking a seat.
" No, it's not necessary," his son answered.
Vegeta nodded in approval at his answer. The two of them were covered in blood, gashes and bruises from their heavy sparring. But Vegeta thought it was weak to frequently rely on machines to heal and not endure the pain that came with learning. That was not the way of a true warrior.
" You've improved a great deal. She must be pushing you pretty hard, huh?" Trunks asked.
Vegeta grunted. " The woman has more saiyan in her than I previously thought," he replied.
Trunks bent forward and wiped the back of his neck with the towel and shook his lavender hair.
" You always have underestimated her," he said with a soft smile.
Vegeta glared at his son's stupid smiling expression. He was sick and tired of his son's sentimental side. Trunks had always taken after Bulma too much; he fell prey to his human feelings more often than his saiyan. By ignoring his saiyan instincts he only ended up confusing himself and what he wanted.
" So tell me boy, when are you going to hunt her and get it over with?" he sneered.
Trunks's head jerked up and his body stiffened.
" What are you talking about?" he breathed.
The prince folded his arms impatiently and glowered at him.
" Don't play me for a fool. I see how you are with her, your ki raises every time you're near her. You're with her often and your child practically lives at her house," he stated.
His son just stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to say.
" We're just really good friends Dad," he explained.
" I've caught you growling when you've seen other men look at her, Brat. You can lie to yourself but not to me."
" Pan is fourteen years younger than me!" Trunks hissed.
Vegeta snorted. " Poor excuse. You're nearly forty and you look like you're twenty-three by human standards. Saiyans have much longer life spans and you know that. Although few saiyans lived long enough to die of old age, they tended to average around three hundred years. Your so-called age gap of fourteen years is nothing really," he pointed out.
Trunks sighed and glanced away. " You wouldn't understand. She's my best friend…it could ruin everything."
" Your Saiyan half chose her because she fits you so well. Do you think I like the idea of this? It's bad enough having Kakkarott's brat sniffing around Bra! Stop acting like a weak human and embrace what you are. I won't have my son acting like a coward!" he shouted angrily.
Trunks's face darkened and his blue eyes narrowed.
" Stay out of my business Dad," he warned fiercely.
Vegeta met his glare and smirked. " Ignore it all you want, just because you refuse to look at it doesn't mean it's not there. Let me know when you want to face your true self. We're done here. I'll see you tomorrow at eight," he said coolly as he got up and left his son to think about what he had said.
Thunder rumbled lightly as the rain splattered against the windows. It was your typical late summer shower except the sun remained unblocked by the storm clouds. This produced a bright misty effect as the sunlight mixed with the falling raindrops.
Pan touched the glass gently, feeling the cool smoothness of it while her eyes looked up to the sky. She could tell that the front was moving out to sea and that the city probably didn't get a drop because it was farther south. But as much as it put a crimp in her day it at least brought some much needed relief to the green in her care. Although rain was a positive and necessary thing it always gave her a touch of melancholy. Too often the thick dark clouds reminded her of human emotion, both swelling and growing heavy until neither can bear their own weight. They seek release by the way of tears, sometimes loud and wailing while on other occasions quiet and steady.
Her mind suddenly detected the approach of a life form at a fast rate of speed. She could sense no clear ki pattern or emotion from it so it had to be some kind of enemy or Juunanagou. Pan hoped it was the latter. Turning away from the window, she walked over to the front door and opened it to find a drenched Juunanagou standing there.
He raked his fingers through his wet hair to clear his face and looked her over.
" Should've known I wouldn't have to knock," he said.
His clothes revealed that he had been in the rain for quite some time since they were fully soaked through. Juunanagou made no move to rush in but stood there silently gazing at her with an unsettling air about him, letting the rain pelt him.
" Get in here, you're soaked to the bone," she commanded, stepping aside.
He stepped in and followed her quietly through the house to her enclosed porch. She gave him a towel and told him she'd return in a second. A few minutes later she came back with a pair of jeans and a gray t-shirt.
" You need to change out of those. Trunks leaves some extra clothes here so you can borrow these," she offered, setting them down on the table.
Juunanagou nodded slowly and mumbled his thanks before she left him to change.
Pan was disturbed by his strange behavior and wondered what was wrong. She hadn't seen much of him the past three weeks and now he appeared on her doorstep on a Wednesday in the middle of the afternoon. By the look of his body language he was clearly bothered about something. The usually bright pale blue eyes now seemed weary and dim.
She walked back into the porch to find him seated Indian style on her large meditation mat, gazing out the large glass windows. Pan watched him silently from the doorway while the steady sound of rainfall filled the room.
" I've been wandering all day thinking," he spoke quietly. " I didn't bother to go into work."
Saying nothing, she stepped forward and sat closely opposite him. The messy, black towel dried hair gave him a rather rough look she thought, a change from the usual smoothness. She waited for him to continue, giving him as much time as he wanted.
" Everything's in a haze. I've never felt so uncertain in my entire life but I know if I don't do this I will regret it," he began. " It's strange…I never thought I'd feel the range of emotions I do now."
" Show me a man with no fears and I'll show you a fool," she remarked thoughtfully.
" It's not just fear," he replied meeting her gaze intensely, causing her to look away.
" So you want to do this?" she asked carefully.
Juunanagou nodded.
" We can begin now if you want. You'll have to give me your hands and open your mind to me. This will take some time," she informed him.
He offered his hands and she took them in her own, brushing her thumbs across the back of them. She felt him flinch and she chuckled softly.
" Just relax. You're going to have to trust me on this Juunana."
Pan saw him frown before she closed her eyes and set to work. She took a deep breath and gave a silent prayer. Detaching herself from the physical realm, she let herself find the right harmony and began to try to reach him. What she found was almost unrecognizable as human but she had expected this. His vibration would be incredibly different because of his transformation by Dr.Gero. Juunanagou was a unique being. Pan knew this would not be an easy task and continued to try to find a way inside. Her mind brushed along his softly and then finally felt herself allowed in slowly.
" Pan?" she heard him ask.
" I'm here Juunana. That didn't take me as long as I thought it would, you must've been helping me," she answered.
" As much as I could I suppose."
She shielded herself to block out the emotions of his mind as best she could. One could only do so much if you were inside. Pan could still sense a bit of the stronger emotions in him: anger, fear and…sorrow? What was he sad about? While it was true the android had done things to be remorseful about, that wasn't the same thing. A profound sense of regret washed over her and she struggled to separate from his feelings.
Gaining control once more she tried to navigate through the vast foreign landscape of his mind. The dark spots signaled areas less traveled and she investigated them further. It was sometimes hard to distinguish between repressed and lost memories. She accidentally stumbled upon his memories of being surgically altered and seeing three-fourths of his body being replaced by hardware for the first time. Shrieking in horror she drew back and tried to collect herself.
" Pan!" he called out in concern, having felt her trauma.
" I'm all right."
" What happened?" he asked.
" Um, nothing. I goofed a bit," she told him, trying to cover.
Her answer seemed to satisfy him and she continued to search but with more caution this time. Finally Pan was able to find the childhood memories, buried deep beneath the nightmares of his teen years and programmed directives. She smiled in relief and telepathically alerted Juunanagou.
" I found them."
" You did? What happens now?"
" We'll help reopen them for you, but only you will be able to see and experience them. After I release them to you, I shall return to the physical realm and assist you from there," she explained. " I'm going to be honest with you, this will be hard. But don't be afraid of what it makes you feel."
" Feelings are overrated I'm beginning to think. Let's get this over with."
Pan guided his consciousness to them and unlocked the light of his earliest moments. She then withdrew to herself and began to hear the sound of the rain again. Opening her eyes she saw him sitting before her with a strained face, his hands now gripping hers tightly.
A quick overview or downloading of years of memories was an experience difficult to describe to people. In the beginning it starts as a quick slideshow with sound, rapidly moving chronologically and it isn't until days later that things sink in. Real "moments" and specific conversations were then accessible to the individual. The emotional and possibly physical reaction was strongest in the first few hours, that being the reason why she watched over him now.
His eyes remained closed while he let the memories flow, occasionally murmuring incoherently, laughing and wearing a myriad of expressions. Pan observed with interest and at the same time concern, taking note that he was beginning to speak more clearly now but still in fragments.
" Mom…Dad, you both look so young...playing ball in the field…God that hurt…my cousin Billy, he's laughing at me and Juuhachi…no, Karen. My sister…she's smiling…" he trailed off, pain etched unmistakably across his face.
" Juunana it's all right," Pan said trying to reassure him.
Clenching his teeth, the battle began to fight back tears whether he was aware of it or not. The shoulders tensed and slumped forward trying to contain the torment, to keep from spilling out and losing himself all together. A small moan escaped his lips and Juunanagou shook his head from side to side.
" Don't fight it. Let it out," she encouraged, moving forward to cup his face with her hands.
He exhaled deeply and leaned into her touch as the initial tears began to flow down his cheeks. The strong body quaked as choked sobs soon followed.
Whispering soothingly to him, Pan wrapped her arms around the man and started to rock him gently. Instinctively he turned into her embrace and held on for dear life.
" I never knew she smiled so much…she was so happy…so happy," he cried against her.
Pan smoothed back his hair with one hand and continued to rock him, not answering.
" Why did this happen to me…why?" he carried on softly.
" I don't know Juunana," she answered sadly, pressing her cheek against the top of his head.
" I've been so foolish and now she'll never forgive me," Juunanagou muttered bitterly.
His words confused her but decided this was not the time to press and ask what he meant. She struggled to keep her own tears at bay, having been so moved by the level of anguish and despair that racked the body under her arms. Straightening up, Pan continued to rock Juunanagou till the tears began to subside.
Soon he became still and silent. The slow rise and fall of his chest was telltale sign that he had drifted off to sleep. Pan tilted her head to get a glimpse of the lowered long black eyelashes and relaxed face.
Knowing full well that he was out for the count, she powered up so she could lift him and carried him to the spare bedroom. There she pulled back the covers and laid him down carefully, tucking him in tight.
Pan sat down on the edge of the bed and watched him sleep peacefully. Her hand reached out caressing the side of his face and pushed away a few idle strands of ebony hair that fell over his eyes. Surprisingly his skin was very warm and soft to her touch. She didn't know quite what she had expected but it unnerved her just the same.
Life was still throwing her curveballs when she thought she was aware of every pitch. She'd been fighting it for quite some time, the attraction she felt toward this man. In terms of living the android was probably fifty years her senior yet from day one he had treated her fairly and equally. And to think she had once thought Trunks too old for her. But Juunana was different in so many ways. He was a brutally frank man and always called a spade a spade but his honesty was something you could count on. A severe distaste for boredom and need for fun had stayed with him from his early days. This resulted in the most interesting conversations between the two of them and Pan found she enjoyed his company more and more. The few times she had been able to get him to open up were counted as small victories. In the beginning her intentions were only those of friendship since romance held no interest for her. With everything she was trying to accomplish it would've only served as a giant distraction and she knew herself too well. Pan was not the kind of woman who loved casually. When someone touched her, which was rare, it was always deeply felt and unwavering. Unfortunately the knowledge of knowing how fickle and undependable human emotion was she never admitted her feelings to the object of her desire. People tended to be careless with the hearts of others and she knew hers would not stand up to much abuse. A lot of good all that caution did her, here she was by this man's side wishing she could be closer to him.
Rising from the bed, she walked over to the other side of the room and dragged an armchair over the side of the bed. Pan snuggled into it, not wishing to leave him in the room alone. She turned her eyes to the sun that was making its way toward the west, resulting in the room being filled with a warm glow. Tonight would be a full moon, she suddenly remembered. Although humans were known to act strangely occasionally on the full moon, Saiyans were heavily influenced by it. Pan was an exception given her control and training but she wondered if the others would be affected much this evening. She barely gave the matter much thought before her exhaustion finally caught up to her and soon fell sound asleep.
A/N: Well this took too long to get out, work and school got in the way. I have a question for you guys. Should I put lemons in this or not? I'm not the most experienced writer for those so if I do, it won't be as graphic as some I've read here. Please let me know what you guys think.