Helen has eyes of sapphire blue
and lips of the rosiest hue.

Her hair is golden like the sun,
and she is fair to everyone.

All the suitors came a-wooing,
but they went away a-booing.

Except for one, the lucky guy,
Who's love shines clear within his eye.

Menelaus is the one.
"Come on Helen, let's have some fun!"

Menelaus is the brother
of Agamemnon and none other.

Agamemnon is the High King
Who wields his sword with a great swing.

Odysseus is feeling bad,
But Helen's father says, "Don't feel sad,

"I've got a plan that you might like.
Take Penelope as your wife!"

Penelope is Helen's cousin.
She has suitors by the dozen.

Helen's father calls the suitors together.
"All right, listen up, you buggers!"

"I have an oath that you must take.
Remember, a whole lot is at stake.

If Menelaus should have trouble,
you must be here upon the double.

And attack with mighty fury
(Please remember, you're the jury)

All who should stand in his way.
I ask you now, please make them pay!"

One and all, they swear the oath.
Although some of them are loath.