GUARDIAN BLUES
CHAPTER II
Lyrics to "Ramblin' Boy" (paraphrased) are by Tom Paxton
The building seemed bigger on the inside than it had on the outside – maybe it was a Gallifrey thing. Bob seemed sure of himself, though. "You know where you're going?"
"Yeah, I've seen the schematics. The whole building is set up like a wheel, and Laser's office is at the hub."
"Cool." I thought it was kinda funny that Bob called his Dad 'Laser' when we were talking – and that popped a thought into my processor. "Uh, Bob? What should I call him?"
"Who – Laser?" I nodded. "Well – I don't think 'Grandpa' would be appropriate."
I laughed. "Bob! I'm serious."
Bob scratched his chin. "When I was in school we called the head of the Academy "Headmaster". I think that should be fine."
"OK." User, it was a lot to think about – I'd basically been dealing with the same set of sprites my whole life, the same place – and now everything was gonna be different. Sure, it was exciting, but…
"Well – look what the tide dragged in."
"Hi, Dad." Bob set down the stuff he was carrying and walked through the open door to Laser's office. I did the same. Laser got up from behind his desk and stared at Bob with his hands on his hips. He looked good – he's not a real big guy, but there's something about him that impresses you. He didn't look any older than the last time I'd seen him – if anything, he looked younger. I figured he must really enjoy his job.
He smiled and stuck out his hand, and Bob took it. They held the handshake for a long time, just sort of looking at each other. Bob made a little uncomfortable move towards him, then stopped and grinned. Laser lifted up his arm and held it for a nano, then patted Bob on the shoulder. "How you doing, Son?"
"Good, Dad." Bob sideways patted Laser's arm. "It's great to see you again. You're OK?"
"Fine." Laser looked down at me for the first time – I'd sort of been hovering half behind Bob. I could feel myself trembling a little – Laser has a very intense stare. "Enzo – good to see you again, too. Welcome to the Academy."
"Thank you, Sir." I smiled as best I could, wondering if we were supposed to shake. I guess so – he held out his hand and I took it, as hard and firm as I could.
"Ow! You trying to break my hand, Cadet?"
"Sorry!" I gasped, and pulled my hand back.
"I'll live." He smiled, and stepped past me to close the door. He sat down behind his desk and Bob and I sat in the chairs in front of it. It was a much simpler office than I'd expected – a plain desktop and a few chairs, a workstation, nothing much up on the walls except the walls. "So – we've finally got our youngest cadet where he belongs. Bob been teaching you well, Enzo?"
"Yes, Headmaster. He's great."
"You don't have to call me that when its just us." Laser chuckled.
"Big cycle for Enzo, Dad." Bob grinned, patting me on the back. He left his hand on my neck and gave it a little squeeze, just to help me calm down, I guess. "Biggest cycle of his life, maybe."
"I can imagine." The smile was gone from Laser's face – he didn't smile much, from what I remembered – but somehow he looked pleased anyway. "How you feeling, Cadet? Excited? Scared?"
"Yes. Yes." I replied in the steadiest voice I could find.
Laser chuckled a little. "Well – that's as it should be. I'd be worried if you weren't." He put his elbows on his desk and leaned across a little. "Don't be too nervous about being the youngest cadet, Enzo. I know a little something about that myself – I was the youngest cadet when I enrolled at the Academy."
"Dude - really?" My stomach did a couple of turns when I realized I'd just called the highest ranking Guardian in the net "Dude".
"I sure was. I was a pretty brash kid, but when I got here and saw all those hairy chests and brawny arms there were a few nervous nanos, I can promise."
"See, Enzo?" Bob offered. "You just gotta roll with it and you'll be fine."
"Yeah. Thanks, I'm sure I'll be cool."
"Good boy." Laser nodded at me. "I'm the headmaster of this place, Enzo, and I consider myself responsible for everything that happens inside it. The most important responsibility is the safety and welfare of the cadets in my protection. So if there's ever an issue that's troubling you, don't hesitate to come and talk to me about it, all right? That's true for every cadet in here, and it's most certainly true for you."
"Thank you, Headm- Sir. Thanks a lot, that makes me feel better."
"Not promising you'll like what I say, mind you – but I'll listen. But if you expect things to be easy around here, you're wrong – so don't expect a lot of sympathy if you think things are too tough."
"No Sir. I know it'll be tough. But I… I want to work hard. I have been working pretty hard."
"He has, Dad. He's been a good student."
"I'm sure he has. And I'm sure you'll do fine. Now - let's get to some specifics. I took the liberty of seeing to your living arrangements. One of the luxuries of not having so many cadets, I suppose – let's me take a personal hand in things. I've assigned you a roommate – a young man from Helios, another first-hour. I've seen the reports, he looks like a good kid. He turns 1.5 during the term. I think he's a good match for you. He should arrive tomorrow."
"OK… Thanks." More overwhelmed feelings. A roommate!
"We'll get you a readme with all the details on house rules and class schedules and the like – I just want to go over a few things right now, OK?"
"Sure."
"Dorms are set up two cadets to a room, with a bathroom on every floor. There's currently 62 cadets assigned to the boys' dorm, so you can do the math. There are no kitchens - you're not here to learn to cook like your sister Dot. Meals are in the common mess hall – if you're late, you're hungry. Food's good – it'll keep you strong and healthy enough. With me so far?"
"Yes, Sir."
"There's an instructor in each dorm – your House Master. He's in charge of you when you're not in class. Lights out is thirty hundred – no exceptions. And you might have guessed that if we have a boys' dorm, we probably also have what?"
"Uh – a girls' dorm?"
"Right." He smiled. "And that's the last word I want to hear from you about the girls' dorm. I think you're probably familiar with the term, 'off-limits'. Well, it applies here. Understood?"
I felt a good blush forming on my cheeks and ears. "Understood."
"Good. You'll notice I called it a boys' dorm – you can think of it as a men's dorm if you like. We don't have the luxury of different class tracks and dorms for different ages any more – cadets are first-hours and second-hours – that's it. That means that even though you're only 1.3, I'll expect the same level of maturity from you that I do from every first-hour."
"Yes, Sir. I'll try."
"I know you will, Son. Just remember – the only time you'll be treated like a child here is if you act like one. We're not your mothers and fathers, and this isn't a nursery. You're here to learn, and if you conduct yourself like a responsible person you'll be treated like one. Being a Guardian is about being responsible for yourself as much as the sprites you're assigned to protect. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"
"Yes, Sir!" I felt a thrill rush through me as I listened to him. It was really good to be talked to like an adult.
"Good." I looked over at Bob, and he smiled at me. "This isn't a perfect situation, Cadet – we're at war, and we're all doing the best we can. That's all I expect from you. If you do that you'll come away from here knowing exactly who you are and how much you're capable of. You'll be able to think for yourself, make decisions for yourself – and sprites will be counting on you to be their protector and friend. How does that sound?"
"Alphanumeric." I whispered. I hadn't felt like that since Bob gave me the protocols when I was 1.0. "I promise – I'll do it!"
"Welcome to the Academy." He stuck out his hand and smiled. "You've got the right bloodlines, Son – and you've had a pretty good teacher these last few hours. There's no doubt in my mind you'll be a fine Guardian."
"Thank you." I shook his hand again – softer, this time – and smiled. "I'll do my best."
"That's pretty good, if you ask me." Bob grinned and clapped me on the shoulder. "Why don't you go over to the dorm – check out your room and just chill for a few micros. It's been a pretty full cycle already. I'll talk to Laser for a little bit and meet you over there."
"Cool. Thanks, Bob."
"What about you, Bob? I thought we'd put you in an apartment in the staff building."
"Sounds good – but I think I'll crash in Enzo's room tonight – just for old times sake." Bob winked at me. "Check out the digs, right Kid? I'll probably be here two or three nights – I'll bum over to the staff apartment tomorrow. OK with you, Enzo?"
"Sure." I grinned. I knew exactly why he was doing it, and I suppose if I'd been really firm on my promise to myself I'd have told him not to – but I really wanted him there. It might even be fun.
"Fair enough." Laser said with a small frown. "I'll get one of the second-hours to show you around and help you with your gear, Cadet."
"Thanks!" It was the best I'd felt all cycle – in all the scariness and worry during the trip and arriving and everything, I'd sorta forgotten why I was coming in the first place. Laser had a way of inspiring you like nobody else I knew – I remembered from his trip to Mainframe. He really stoked me up. I don't know if he took that much time with every new cadet – I guess probably not – but it was still very cool.
Laser opened a vidwindow and gave a command, and a couple of millis later a kid knocked on the door of his office – well, sorta half-kid, half-adult. A second-hour. Laser introduced him to us – his name was Helix - and we shook hands. He looked a little awed of Bob just like the others had been. He picked up a bunch of my stuff and I took the rest and we headed off down the hallway.
"Where you from?" I was still a little nervous and I tried to hear some challenge in his voice, but he seemed friendly enough.
"Mainframe. You?"
"Supercomputer. Not much left of it now – we got out when I was 1.3."
"Yeah, sorry. We almost lost Mainframe, too. 1.3? Uh – that's how old I am now."
"Yeah?" He gave me a quick look. "I figured you were maybe 1.1 – not much to you, is there?"
I didn't say anything right away. He probably didn't mean anything by it, but it stung me quite a bit. "I guess."
"No biggie. We'll take what we can get – in case you hadn't noticed this ain't exactly the supercomputer. You came in with Guardian 452?"
"Yeah." I was ready to fight him if he ragged on me for it, but he didn't.
"That's pretty awesome. I hear he merged with his keytool."
"Yeah, he did." We were on my turf now, talking about Bob. I didn't want to get in the habit of trading on his name, but it was my first cycle… "He did it to save Mainframe and get everyone home from the web."
"The web? Random access! No one's ever merged with his keytool before. He sounds pretty amazing."
"Well, he had to save the system. To mend and defend – you know? That's Bob."
We'd arrived at the boys' dorm - a plain-looking square building tucked in behind the big building where the offices were. Helix set my stuff down and palmed his icon in front of the security console. It beeped and the door opened, and he nodded me after him. "This is it – not much to it, but its home. Four floors – you're in 32, third floor. Mess hall and House Master's quarters are on this level. Rec room, too – simulators and vidscreen and pinball - stuff like that. Pretty cool. Bathrooms one to a floor upstairs. Your room is coded to accept your PID scan for access. Any questions?"
"No – I guess not." I looked around the dorm as we rode up in the elevator, which had clear doors and walls. It wasn't anything fancy, that was for sure. We got off on the third floor and he took a left. Room 32 was the fourth one down.
"Go ahead – try the panel and make sure your icon works."
"OK." I took off my icon and held it to the door. It beeped once and slid open. "Coolness!"
"That's coded to open only for you and your roommate, the House Master, and the teaching staff. Some free advice?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't go out without your icon. It's a long walk from the showers to the Master's office downstairs, and no one is gonna feel sorry for you. Got it?"
"Yeah! Thanks."
He set my stuff down and looked around. The room was just that – a room. There were two beds on opposite corners, foot lockers at the foot of the beds, two small desks on facing walls and a couple of simple chairs – that was it. "Looks like your roommate isn't here yet."
"No Sir. He gets here tomorrow."
Helix frowned. "Don't call me 'Sir' – I'm a cadet, not a teacher."
"Sorry!" I felt another blush on my face.
"No biggie." He pointed to the bed in the far corner. "Since you're here first, I advise you choose the bed farthest from the door – easier to grab a little privacy if you have a guest, if you get my meaning."
"Oh! Uh…"
He chuckled and tossed my stuff on the bed. "See that organizer on the desk?"
"Sure."
"Initialize it – set up your user name and password. Once you do that you're the only one who can access it – not even the staff can get in without your codes. Once you initialize it the central computer will download a bunch of stuff – you want to look at the readme first. Got descriptions of house rules, class schedules, all that stuff. The computer will know who you are – the teachers will download assignments and stuff directly to your organizer. There's also a log – a lot of kids keep a journal and like I said, its totally secure. Some games, too – mostly 'educational' ones, strategy and stuff – but some of them are pretty random access. You getting all this?"
"Uh – yeah." I was feeling a little mentally swamped – I realized I hadn't even set my stuff down yet.
Helix grinned. "Don't worry about it – the readmes will tell you everything you need to know. Keep whatever stuff you brought in that foot locker. Wardrobe upgrades'll be downloaded onto your organizer after you input your height and weight and stuff… Hope they make 'em that small." He paused for a nano – maybe he was waiting to see if I'd jab back at him and maybe I should have – but I didn't say anything, just seethed a little. "We pretty much wear shorts or sweats when we're in physical exercises or out of class – dress uniforms for classroom and events. Got that?"
"Got it."
"Right. I guess that about covers it. If you have questions don't be afraid to ask a second – we've been through it and we don't bite. Most of us anyway. And its better not to bug the teachers with the stupid stuff. Anything else I can do for you?"
My anger was starting to drop away again. He seemed nice – maybe he was just kidding around. I figured I'd better get used to it unless I started looking like Matrix real soon. "I don't think so. Thanks for showing me all that stuff."
"No worries." That sounded weird – it caught me by surprise, but I didn't think much about it. "Good luck – I'll see you out there." He nodded at me, I nodded back and he left.
I looked around the room that would be my home for most of the next two hours. I felt a little depressed – I missed my room at home, with all my posters and my own bed and my dirty clothes and all my junk. At least the room had a window. Maybe it'd look better after I fixed it up a bit…
I sat down on the bed and leaned back against the wall, and I felt really tired. My emotions were going up and down like power surges and that's pretty exhausting. Right now they were definitely in a down cycle – Helix' jokes about my size must have started me on a little slide, and now I was thinking about how new all of this was, how scary. How much I was gonna miss home. And Dot.
I don't think I was asleep for very long – it couldn't have been, because the shadows in the room were in about the same place as I remembered. There was a light knocking at the door that woke me up. I was disoriented for a couple of nanos, but finally I placed myself and called out "Hello?" in a muzzy voice.
"Hello! Permission to enter, Cadet?"
It was a familiar voice, and it brought a smile to my face. "Yeah! Come in!" I'd seen Ray a couple of times since he and Mouse had left when I was 1.0 – he'd been back for short visits, strategy sessions and stuff. But I'd never been happier to see him than I was right now – he was a friendly face, and that meant the net to me.
"Hey, Kiddo! You made it!"
"Ray!" I bounced off the bed and I know I was grinning a system wide. Before he knew it I wrapped myself around him and hugged him as tight as I could, which seemed to surprise him a bit. "How you doing?"
"No worries!" he chuckled. He pounded me on the back a couple times and looked around the room. "So this is home, eh?"
"Yup."
He ruffled my hair and let me go, and grabbed a chair, spinning it around backwards. He sat and I flopped down on the bed, still grinning. "User, its good to see you, Mate! Did you and Bob have a good trip?"
"Yeah, pixelacious. Where's Mouse?"
"Supercomputer." Ray must have seen the look of alarm on my face. "I know, Kid – but she can handle herself. She's doing a little sabotage and espionage, you know." He tapped his nose slyly and smiled. "She'll be back in time for classes. How you settling in?"
"OK, I guess. It's a little too much to take it all in right now."
"You'll manage it, no worries. Just have to get the feel of the waves a little bit, then you'll be gold. I see you brought your surfboard."
"Sure." I grinned. "I'm getting pretty good on it – maybe you could give me a few lessons, when you have time."
"Definitely." He leaned across a little closer. "Listen Mate – one thing I do hafta tell you… You know I'm a teacher here and everything – I have to be careful not to look like I'm playing favorites, y'know?"
"Oh sure, I know that…" I guess I felt a little hurt, but I knew he was right.
He tousled my hair again. "Tough thing, Kiddo. Not really good for a teacher to be friends with the students – but we're definitely mates, and we always will be. I guess we just need to be a little careful about palling around too much in front of the other blokes – know what I mean?"
"Yeah – definitely. That's cool."
"Good lad. Doesn't change a thing, Enzo – you're still one of my best mates, and I'll definitely be there anytime you need to talk or just hang out. Let's just keep it low-key, and it'll be fine. OK?"
"No worries." I smiled.
"Heh! All you young blokes are starting to talk like me!" He sat next to me and wrapped his arm around me. "Don't worry too much – you'll get through this fine. Good people here, Enzo – the teachers really care about the kids, and the kids really believe in what they're doing. Bright lad like you is gonna fit right in. And if you ever need me, just call me."
"Thanks, Ray." It was definitely a relief knowing that Ray and Mouse would be around – that there was at least someone here who knew me for who I was. The Mainframe Enzo. Because after Bob went home this place seemed like it was going to feel pretty lonely…
I don't remember a lot about the next few micros. Bob came back to the room and he and Ray greeted each other like long-lost brothers. Definitely the two coolest guys I knew, and along with AndrAIa the coolest sprites in the net. Matrix is my brother and I love him with all my heart, but he's definitely not cool.
The three of us went and had dinner in Laser's apartment, which was pretty much like his office – plain. I don't think Laser can cook to save his code, so we ordered a bunch of stuff from a restaurant in the town. I didn't say a whole lot during the meal – I was a little bit intimidated by the three of them, and a little overwhelmed by the whole cycle. I wasn't even really sure I wanted to eat, to be honest – but the food smelled really good and I hadn't eaten all day and that kinda overcame the nervousness in my stomach so I ate. A lot.
After we'd eaten Bob asked me if I wanted to go out and take a look at the town – Ray said there wasn't much to it, but the people were nice enough. I begged off and said I was tired – which was pretty much true. Bob promised to take me around town the next day after breakfast and I said that would be cool. I told Bob I was gonna hang out in my room and he said he'd be back after a little while. I knew he and the others wanted to talk Daemon – normally I'd have killed to be there, but I'd already had too much input that cycle. Besides, I knew they'd only really talk about it after I was gone.
I walked around the campus a little bit before I went home (home – that was gonna take some getting used to…) just to burn off some nervousness. It was almost totally dark out and the streetlights around the campus were starting to flicker on. There was a path that wound between the buildings and around behind the campus, overlooking the far side of the hill. There were hardly any sprites around. In the dim light it was actually kinda beautiful. I just stood there for a while and watched the lights flickering on and tried to let my brain go dead for a few micros.
I took the long way back to the boys' dorm, following the path all the way around the perimeter of the campus buildings. I was enjoying the quiet, but I also kinda wanted to walk by the girls' dorm, too – I dunno what I expected to see and I didn't end up seeing anything except a quiet building that looked just like mine. Feeling vaguely disappointed, I headed back for home.
I could hear a couple of people yelling when I got into the main corridor – they sounded like kids my age or a little older, and they sounded like they were having fun. Probably in the rec room. I thought real hard about going over there – a part of me really, really wanted to. But another part of me was afraid, no matter what Bob had said earlier. And right then that part was stronger. I stood and listened to them for a couple of nanos, then took the elevator upstairs to my room, hating myself just a little bit for doing it.
Once I was back in my room I started to feel really lonely. I almost went back out and tried to find Laser's apartment again just so I wouldn't have to be by myself, but I didn't. That would have made me look pretty basic. Being alone wasn't anything really new for me – especially since Mac was born I'd been spending a lot more time by myself. But that was different – I knew that at the end of the cycle Dot would always be there, and Bob was always close by if I needed him. But that's not how it was gonna be here.
I tried to think about Matrix – about everything he'd been through, and how much worse that was. How I was being a baby. But I'm not Matrix. I don't have AndrAIa. And my life is different than his life. Maybe I'd had too much time to think about everything. And right then everything was new and scary…
I could feel that sense of being overwhelmed creeping up on me again, no matter how hard I tried to fight it off. I felt about 0.0 – alone and scared. I just kept thinking about how I wasn't going to be sleeping in my own bed in my own room, and Dot wasn't gonna be there in the morning or even to kiss me goodnight. Every cycle I can remember, no matter how busy or pregnant she was or what stuff was going on with Hex or Daemon or anybody else, Dot always kissed me goodnight. But not tonight.
It's funny how it's the little things that bother me so much – I'd been noticing that more and more as I got older. I needed something to distract me – anything at all. My eyes fell on the organizer sitting on the desk and I got up to grab it, figuring on looking at the readme file Helix told me about. I initialized it like he said to – I didn't even need to think about a password. "AndrAIa". That was a password I'd never forget, ever. And just as I was getting ready to pull up the readme file there was a beep and the "Incoming Call" icon flashed.
I was so surprised I just stared at it for a nano as it flashed and beeped at me. Finally, I shook myself out of it and tapped the icon and the call window opened. And there she was, staring right up at me like she'd been reading my thoughts.
"Dot!"
"Hi, Sweetie." She said it casually, like she was just sitting in the next room. She had a big smile on her face. "How are you?"
"Dot!" I was so surprised to see her – she seemed totally out of place in this place. But at the same time her face was the most natural sight I've ever seen in my life – it always has been.
"I know who I am, Enzo. Are you all right?"
"Uh, yeah! I'm fine. I'm just – surprised. I didn't think you'd call…"
"Well, it wasn't easy." She giggled. "You have no idea how hard it was, actually – Mouse has more security protocols tied into our locations than anyplace else in the net, probably. But I just thought – well… It was your first night away and all, I thought it'd be nice."
"Oh, yeah! I'm glad you called." I sat down at the desk and put my face close to the organizer, probably too close but I just wanted to see every pixel of her face. I felt about 0.0 again, but this time it was in a good way. "Dot, I'm so glad to see you."
"You too, Kiddo. How's the cycle gone – everything OK? Where's Bob?"
"With Laser. I'm OK - just tired. I still can't really believe I'm here."
"Well – you've had a big cycle. How do you like Gallifrey so far? How's the Academy?"
"It's fine." I sighed. It was enough just to be talking to her, so I could hardly concentrate on what I was saying. "Not like home. But its fine."
"Oh, Sweetie…" I could see sadness creep into her expression for the first time. "You'll get used to it, I'm sure. Every place is different. "How's Laser?"
"Cool. He seems really happy. I saw Ray, too."
Dot grinned. "How is he? Is Mouse there?"
"Not yet – she'll be back in a couple of cycles." I decided not to tell Dot about the Supercomputer – there really wasn't any reason to worry her about it. "And Ray's alphanumeric – he's a great guy. He said we were best mates and he'd help me whenever I needed him to."
"That's wonderful!"
"Yeah, he's great." I stared at her for a nano, then just blurted out what I'd been thinking the whole time. "Dot, I miss you."
"Enzo, I… I miss you too." She smiled, but I could tell it was an effort. Maybe she was thinking If he misses me on the first night, what's he gonna be like in a few minutes… But she didn't say that. "I know this isn't easy for you, Angel. It's not easy for me either. But I promise you it'll get better – you'll get used to it. You'll make friends, forget all about Mainframe most of the time."
"No I won't. Never." I tried to smile back at her. "I'm worried about the other kids, Dot. I don't know how to talk to them…"
"I know. But you will – once the novelty wears off you'll see they're just sprites, like you. You'll make lots of friends, I promise. You're a sweet boy – they'll like you just fine."
"Maybe." I sighed.
"I can't tell you not to worry, Enzo. I know you will anyway. But I know you – and that's why I'm not worried. If I weren't sure you'd be happy I'd have told you to stay home. But I am sure – as sure as I've ever been of anything."
"Really? You promise?"
"Cross my heart. You'll have a great time, I know it. And we'll see each other plenty. I know it'll be hard to be apart, but it won't be all the time and it won't be forever. Try to think about that, OK?"
"OK." User, it was good to see her face – but it was incredibly painful, too. Not having Dot with me was like a great big hole ripped out of my gut. Dot has been my whole life since I was 0.4. I knew she couldn't call me every cycle, either – it was a security pain in the bitmap, and Laser wouldn't be thrilled to know she was doing it. "I'll try, promise."
"Good boy. You want to say Hi to Mac?"
"Sure." She disappeared for a few nanos, then popped back up holding Mac under the arms. He looked kinda grumpy. "Hey, Sprout!"
"He's tired – I'm about to put him down for the night. Wave to your uncle, Sweetie!" She held his arm up and waved it at me, and I giggled. Mac didn't – he looked at her like she was a three-headed null. "He's tired. I'm gonna set him down in his crib – don't go away."
"Night, Mac." I waved back at him. They disappeared off the vidscreen, and then Dot appeared again a nano later. "Hey."
"Hey, you." She grinned. "Miss me?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah." She sighed. "Sweetie, I miss you too. Just because you aren't here that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you every nano – you know that, right?"
"Sure, Sis. I know." And I did, I guess, although it was hard not to feel sorry for myself.
"Good. It doesn't matter if you're away for a little while – I'll always be thinking about you. Always. And when you come home I'll be waiting. Remember what I told you – I'll never love anyone else the way I love you. Never. OK?"
"OK, Dot." It was getting hard to talk. "I love you."
"I love you, Honey. With all my heart. I'll see you in six minutes. A little less, now! And if you really need me – we'll talk. Say Hi to Bob and tell him I'll see him soon, OK?"
"I will." I croaked.
"OK then." She kissed her hand and blew the kiss to me. "Have fun, Enzo. I'll talk to you soon."
"Bye. Love you." We smiled at each other, and she terminated the connection. I closed up the organizer – there was no way I could pay attention to the readme now – and wiped my eyes. I sat down on the bed to wait for Bob.
It was hard to know exactly what I was feeling that night – so much had happened, so much was going to happen – there were emotions churning all through my processor and I couldn't really get a grasp of them. The closest I'd felt was when Mac was born – sitting there in the hospital, watching Dot and her new baby… I was filled with emotions I didn't understand then, too, and they were pulling me every which way. I was facing a big unknown. But in some ways this was even worse.
All I can say is, thank the User Bob was there with me that night. He knew what I was feeling – well, maybe not what exactly, but he knew I was scared and unsure and all that stuff. Bob isn't real big on emotional stuff most of the time – he likes to kid around and get rid of tension that way. But he feels stuff just as much as anybody, and he knew I needed him just like he'd known earlier, after we ran into the boy and girl outside Laser's office. And he was there for me.
After Bob got back to my room he helped me unpack my stuff a little and he showed me how to customize my organizer with my height and weight and all that stuff, for wardrobe upgrades. I downloaded a bunch of stuff – an extra dress uniform, some sweats, and some shorts and t-shirts. I rebooted into blue shorts and a t-shirt and Bob and I sat next to each other on the bed, leaning on the wall and not saying much of anything for a while.
"So – big cycle, huh? I'm beat."
"Me too."
"You wanna go to sleep? Or stay up a while?"
"Stay up." I smiled at him. "I've got too much in my processor to sleep for a while. Is that OK?"
"Sure it's OK!" Bob laughed. "I don't blame you. It's all an awful lot to think about, isn't it?"
"Yeah."
"No classes tomorrow anyway – we don't need to be up early. We'll have some breakfast and check out the city for a while. You want to watch a vidscreen or something?"
"Nah – that's OK."
"Cool." Neither of us said anything for a few nanos.
"Thanks for staying with me, Bob."
"No problem." He ruffled my hair. "How about a guitar lesson, since we have a few micros?"
I wasn't sure I was up for a guitar lesson right then – I didn't think I could pay attention, anyway. "Could you maybe just play for a while? That'd be alphanumeric."
"Sure." Bob grinned and got up to get my guitar out of the case. He sat next to me again. "Electric or acoustic?"
"Acoustic." It felt like it would fit my mood better.
"Acoustic it is." Bob tuned the guitar for a few nanos, humming and mumbling to himself as he did it. "Any requests?"
"Something slow."
"Slow. Got it." He started to pick out a tune, something in G-minor, which I'd learned was my favorite key even though I still didn't know very much about music. G-minor is a key that cuts straight through me, for some reason.
Bob is a pixelacious guitar player. He can play really fast when he wants to – when he rocks, he rocks hard. But he's really great on slow stuff, too – and when he played, it just carried me right along with it. I could feel the music inside me and even though it had a sad sound to it, it made me feel better. For a few nanos all my processor could think about was the music.
"That was really nice.
What was it?"
"'American Tune.'" He smiled. "One of my favorites." He picked on the guitar for a while, not really a song, just doodling. He looked down at me. "How about singing one?"
"Sing? I don't think so…"
"C'mon – it'll be good. How about it?"
I guess I should say that I'm a pretty good singer – it must run in my family 'cause Dot is an alphanumeric one, and I remember my Mom's voice and it was really beautiful. Sometimes it was all I remembered about her, but it was clear as if she was right there. Anyway, I can sing good too – but I don't like it very much.
For one thing, my voice is still really high - straight soprano - and that kinda bugs me. Singing also doesn't really seem like a Guardian thing to me – I dunno, it just doesn't. So I always tried not to sing if I could avoid it, but Dot knows I have a nice voice and she was always trying to get me to. I sang with her sometimes, when it was just us – and that was OK, I guess. But she talked me into singing with her in front of Bob, once, and now he knows too.
But I still don't like to. I get very embarrassed, especially in front of Bob. But he asked me again. "I'll bet it makes you feel better, Kiddo. Music is like that – it transports you. And making it is even better than listening to it. How about it?"
I really didn't want to but I also didn't want to say no to Bob, 'cause he was being so nice to me. He'd taught me a few songs since I got the guitar and I thought about it and decided that if Bob and me were really close like I hoped we were, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing. So I said I'd do it.
"You call the tune, Maestro."
I thought for a nano. There was a song that was running through my head for some reason, one I knew pretty well. "How about 'Ramblin' Boy'?"
He arched his eyebrows and looked a little surprised. "I don't remember teaching you that one! That's a good song, Enzo. Sure, 'Ramblin' Boy' it is. Ready?"
"Sure." He started to pick out the intro on the guitar and I closed my eyes, just tried to lose myself in the sound. I don't really understand the lyrics to 'Ramblin' Boy', but there's something about them I like…
He was a man and a friend always
He stuck with me in the hard old days.
He never cared if I had no dough
We rambled 'round in the rain and snow.
And here's to you my ramblin' boy
May all your ramblin' bring you joy
And here's to you my ramblin' boy
May all your ramblin' bring you joy.
It's a traveling song, I know that much. And it's a song about being really good friends. I liked that. After that verse it starts to get really sad…
In
Mainframe town we chanced to stray
We thought we'd try to work one day
The boss said he had room for one
Says my old pal, "We'd rather bum!"
And
here's to you my ramblin' boy
May all your ramblin' bring you joy
And here's to you my ramblin' boy
May all your ramblin' bring you joy.
Late one
night in a jungle camp
The weather it was cold and damp
He got the chills and he got 'em bad
I lost the only friend I had.
My
ramblin' pal, he's rambled on,
My ramblin' pal, is dead and gone
If when we delete, we go somewhere
I'll bet you a credit, he's ramblin' there.
And
here's to you my ramblin' boy
May all your ramblin' bring you joy
And here's to you my ramblin' boy
May all your ramblin' bring you joy.
I guess that song should have depressed me – it's sad, the guy's friend deletes and everything. Like I said, I don't really understand all of it – but it didn't depress me for some reason. It just made me think of home and being away and having friends and missing them, and it made me think of Matrix, too. It weird how songs can take you away from where you are to a totally different place, for so special reason except just being what they are.
I opened my eyes and I realized I was leaning over against Bob with my head against his shoulder. "Nice job, Tiger."
"Thanks." I smiled. "I don't like singing, though – it's embarrassing."
"No reason to be embarrassed with that voice of yours. Wanna do another?"
"Naw – just play some more, OK?"
"You got it." He played for a while and I leaned against him, and I closed my eyes again and just listened and didn't say anything. Before I knew it was thirty-two hundred and now I was so tired that even all my nervousness and weird thoughts couldn't keep me awake much longer.
I was dimly aware that Bob had stopped playing, and he stood up and lowered me into bed. He put my guitar away and knelt next to the bed. "Time to sleep I think, Tiger. You look almost as tired as I am."
"K." I yawned. He stroked my hair a couple of times and walked over to the other bed. My roommate's bed.
"Probably ought to make you brush your teeth but what the heck – Dot's not here, let's go nuts."
"Bet he'll be excited." I smiled.
He stretched out on the bed and slipped under the blanket. "Mmm? Who's that?"
"My roommate. He'll go offline when he finds out Guardian 452 slept in his bed."
Bob laughed. "Another lasting legacy of my visit, huh? Another impressionable young sprite whose life will be forever changed."
"Yeah." I stretched out and lay back with my hands behind my head, staring at the ceiling. It was a cycle of firsts, and I guess this was the last one – my first night sleeping away from home.
"Boy, I'd forgotten what these dorms are like. Sure brings back a lot of old RAM…"
"I bet. Thanks again for staying with me, Bob-"
"Gotta sleep somewhere." He rolled over on his elbow and stared at me. "I'm really proud of you, Enzo. I just want you to know."
"Thanks." I whispered.
"I don't think there's a father anywhere prouder than me. If Mac grows up to be anything like you, I'll be the happiest sprite in the net."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You're my kid, Tiger – no matter what happens. And you always will be. Don't ever let anyone tell you different. Where we're born doesn't matter – the only thing that matters is how we feel. Right?"
"Right." I rasped.
"And you know how I feel."
"Me too." And as much as Bob had meant to me since we'd met, he'd never meant as much as he did that nano. "Thanks, Bob. Me too."
"OK, then." He grinned at me from across the room. "Get some sleep. Another big cycle tomorrow."
"OK. Night, Bob."
"Night, Kiddo. Sweet dreams." He deleted the light and I closed my eyes, just hanging onto everything Bob had said and done all cycle. And almost before I had time to think again about being in a strange bed, I was asleep.