GUARDIAN BLUES
CHAPTER III
"White Room" lyrics by Jack Bruce and Pete Brown
"Old Ben Lucas" lyrics by Richard "Kinky" Friedman
One more first.
Waking up in my bed in the dorms – that was definitely a little weird. Wake up in the same bed every morning for nine hours and tell me it wouldn't be weird to wake up in a different one. It was.
I had some very scraggy dreams that night, mostly concerned with being lost and not being able to find my way home. I'm no Phong but it's pretty easy to figure out what was going on in my processor. So I don't think I slept all that well, and in addition to that I was incredibly wrung out to begin with and me and Bob had stayed up late the night before.
So… I didn't wake up on my own the next morning. Bob woke me up, and his voice was the first thing I remember. Dot usually woke me up when I didn't get up myself. Basically, every cycle. Once in a while Bob did, though, since he'd moved in with us. So at first it didn't seem all that unusual.
After I finally opened my eyes, though, it all came back to me. I saw light streaming in through the window behind Bob and I knew I wasn't home. Not the home I'd known, anyways. The whole last cycle launched itself in my processor in a fraction of a nano. "Hey."
"Hey, Tiger. About time! C'mon, roll out and face the cycle already."
I yawned and stretched, and my muscles hurt from sleeping too long. "What time is it?"
"Almost nine-hundred, sleepyhead."
"Crash…"
"Yup – won't be getting' away with that once Academy starts. Up and at 'em."
"In a nano." I yawned again and when I opened my eyes Bob was still kneeling by the bed, grinning at me. "What?"
"Nothing." He stroked my hair again, like he had before I fell asleep. "Just filing and saving, that's all. C'mon." He grabbed my hands and yanked me upright.
"Stop!" I giggled.
"I'm hungry – move your ascii. And don't tell Dot I said that."
"OK, I'm going." I pulled the blanket back and sat over the edge of the bed.
"I already showered – it's just down the hall, two doors. You wanna grab one?"
I looked down. "Uh… No. I'll just brush my teeth and change and everything."
He frowned. "Whatever you say, Kiddo."
"Thanks." I grabbed my bathroom stuff and headed down
the hall before he could say anything.
It was a subject I didn't feel like talking about with Bob. My stomach was already growling, though, and
after a couple of nanos all I could think about was breakfast.
After the cycle before being so intense – going from one extreme feeling to another, one scary and exciting new experience to another – I was pretty burned out. My senses felt a little dull, and my emotions started out sort of behind a wall where I could see them, but not totally feel them.
I remember feeling like I just wanted to hang on to Bob as long as I could, because I knew in a cycle or so he'd be gone and then I'd be all alone. More or less. We spent some time in Gallifrey Town, starting with breakfast in a place called "Borusa's" which looked about as close to Dot's Diner as anywhere in the system. I was hungry and the food was good, probably better than what I'd be getting in the mess hall the way I figured it. So I ate a lot and even made Bob laugh because I ate so much.
We walked around the town for a while, just checking out the lay of the system. Cadets were allowed to go into town on our free cycles as long we were back by curfew, so I really did want to get a little idea of what it was like. It was OK – there were quite a few cafes and restaurants, some shops and a department store. I didn't see anything that looked remotely like Baudway, or Floating Point, or Kits… Dunno why I would have, but Mainframe was the only place I knew and on some level I kept thinking other places must be a lot like it.
Bob and I ducked into a couple of places just to look around, and the owners were very friendly. I wore my uniform and so did Bob so everyone knew we were part of the Collective, and maybe that's part of the reason. I got the feeling having the Academy in the system meant a lot of credits for the people there, which was fine. I knew from Mainframe that businesses aren't always happy when a kid walks in so I doubted all that friendliness was from the goodness of their hearts.
I didn't see a whole lot of cadets walking around – there were only a few kids, and none of them in uniform although I guessed most of them were cadets. Maybe I'd get to the stage where I didn't want to wear my uniform unless I had to - but I sure hoped not.
Bob tried to encourage me to talk to the kids we saw, but I begged off. I could tell it worried him a little bit but he wasn't gonna push me – I think he was trying to let me deal with my problems on my own. But I was definitely wasn't dealing with this one – I was avoiding for as long as I could.
My favorite place in town was a kind of arcade where they had something called "Pixels" which looked like the closest thing Gallifrey had to our jetball. They had a sort of obstacle course and you had to go out and try and shoot everybody you were playing against with a pixel gun – it actually shot pixels – and if you zapped them they were out of the game. You could either get a whole team together or just go in on your own and play free-for-all. It was- Well… It was pixelacious, it really was! Bob paid for us and we played for about ten micros and it was a total blast. It felt great to just forget everything and just concentrate on something simple.
After we played we headed back to the Academy and I showed Bob the path I'd taken the night before. It was a beautiful day – nice and warm, just like Mainframe – and the campus buildings were shining gold in the bright light. It was really something to see.
Bob pretty much remembered the schematics and he pointed the various buildings out to me as we walked by them. There was a little more to the campus than I'd realized – there was the main office building at the hub of the circle, the staff apartment building, a couple of different classroom buildings, the playing fields… Bob identified them one by one as we passed them, until we came to the girls' dorm.
"I know – I walked by here last night."
"You did? Why?" I didn't look at him but I could hear him grinning, and I immediately regretted mentioning it.
"I… I dunno. Just curious, I guess."
"Curious? I'll just bet you were." He chuckled. "Don't forget what Dad said, Enzo – he wasn't kidding."
"I know." I sighed. "I wasn't doin' anything!"
He put his arm around my shoulder and slowed down. "Sure brings back a lot of memories. Crash, does it ever! Pretty faces. Sneaking around in the middle of the night. Panty-raids…"
"'Panty-raids'?" I frowned. "What's a 'panty-raid'?"
He stiffened, like he didn't realize he'd been talking and not just thinking. "Never mind, you. Nothing you want to know about." He started walking faster.
"But, Bob-"
"Never mind, Kiddo!"
"Jeez…" It didn't take a genius to figure out why Bob didn't want to talk about it – I pretty much knew what area he'd blundered into. I had a burning curiosity but I let it go. Bob and I had a talk before we left Mainframe and I was glad we had, but there was stuff I was gonna have to figure out on my own.
When we got back to the boys' dorm I'd forgotten all about panty-raids and Bob and I were talking about the class he was gonna come teach next semester. I couldn't wait – the idea of being at the Academy and having Bob and Dot with me was almost too good to be true. I was thinking about that and not paying much attention to what was happening, so when I decrypted the lock and open my door what I saw inside was a total shock.
He was on his bed lying on his stomach looking at his organizer – going through the readme, probably, which made me feel guilty because I hadn't yet – and he was dressed in a cadet uniform that looked just like mine. He looked up and when he saw us, he bounced to his feet and smiled a little nervously.
"Hey!" Bob said, and I'm glad I did because I'd done my usual standing and staring and not saying anything routine, which would have left things pretty awkward after a few nanos. "Who might you be?"
"Hi – I'm Linux." The kid stuck out his hand and Bob shook it with a goofy grin on his face, which seemed to relax the kid.
"Hey, Linux – glad to access your acquaintance. I'm Bob. This is Enzo – your new roommate."
"Hey."
Bob nudged me a little and that sorta woke me up. I shook the kid's hand and tried to smile as best I could. "Hey. I… I'm Enzo. Good to meet you."
"Hi, Enzo!" He seemed friendly. My roommate! It was a weird concept. Linux was only a little bit taller than me, but he looked a lot stronger. He had blond hair cut short, not as short as Ray's but shorter than mine, and his skin was a pale silver. How old did Laser say he was – 1.4? And I was talking to him – another actual kid! Helix didn't really count – he was practically an adult. This was a real kid – he barely looked older than me!
I say I was talking to him, but at first he seemed a lot more interested in Bob and I guess I can't blame him. After he noticed Bob's uniform he got a little nervous again. "Are… Are you a Guardian?"
"Yup." Bob grinned. "And you guys will be too, soon enough."
"Wow! Even the teachers aren't Guardians anymore – that's what my Dad said. Are you gonna be teaching here now?"
"Next semester – not this one. I know some of your teachers though – and they're amazing sprites. You'll learn a lot."
"High density! Do you have a keytool, Guardian?"
"It's Bob to my friends, Linux." He chuckled. Bob was sorta monopolizing things, but that was OK – it gave me time to get my composure and like I said I didn't blame the kid for being impressed. "I'll let Enzo explain that, if he wants to. I have some stuff to do – I'm sure I'll see you boys before dinner."
I looked at him, pleading with my eyes. "Bob! D-don't go! We could-"
"Sorry, Enzo – stuff to do." Bob winked at me.
"But-"
"See you guys in a byte, OK? Have fun! Pleasure to meet you, Linux." Crash! I knew deleted well what he was doing, and I was pretty ticked off.
"Uh – you too, Guar- I mean, Bob! It was an honor."
"Same here." He tousled my hair once real quickly and just like that, he was gone and I was alone with Linux. I was not ready for that, I knew I wasn't…
Linux sat back down on the bed and grinned at me. "Wow - your Dad seems really high density, Enzo. That's the first real Guardian I ever talked to!"
"Uh…" I couldn't believe how scared and nervous I was – scared that this guy would think I was a dork and hate me and I'd have to live with him for the rest of the hour. But I didn't know how not to be a dork – I just didn't know what I was supposed to say to another kid my age. I tried to just concentrate on what he was saying so at least he wouldn't think I was basic. "Bob isn't my Dad – he just kind of helps take care of me, I guess. He and my sister."
Linux looked puzzled. "What about your parents?"
"Um – they're deleted. Dot's been watching me since I was 0.4."
Now Linux looked sad – and I realized, in a flash of insight, that having deleted parents might actually buy me some slack with the other kids. I don't like people feeling sorry for me, but at that nano I was drowning in data and looking for anything I could grab onto. I hated myself for even thinking it, but I did. "Crash – sorry, Man. That's rough."
"Thanks." I sighed, and looked sad. At least it'd given us something to talk about. I grabbed a chair and turned it around backwards like Ray had before I sat down. "You're right about Bob though – he's totally alphanumeric."
"Alphanumeric? What's that?"
I blushed. Strike one. "Uh – it's nothing. It just means, like, 'cool', I guess."
Linux smiled thoughtfully. "Alphanumeric – I like that. High density!"
"Yeah. So – you're, um… From Helios?"
"Yeah. You?"
"Mainframe."
"Huh – never heard of it."
"Me neither. Helios I mean! What's it like?"
"It's OK." He didn't look all that thrilled. "Small system with ports to the net. My Dad is the Command.Com there."
"Dude – no way! Dot's the Command.Com in Mainframe!"
"Double-sided. Dot? She's your sister?"
"Yeah!" I was so giddy that we were actually talking and had something almost in common that I blurted out something personal. "She's really more like my Mom than my sister." I cringed as soon as I said it. It sounded babyish to me.
"Yeah? That's cool – she takes care of you and everything. Is she way older?"
Wow! He actually thought it was OK, not weird or anything. "Yeah – she's about the same age as Bob."
"Cool." He leaned back and folded his arms behind his head, and I could feel myself start to relax just the tiniest byte. "So what's Mainframe like?"
"Kinda like Helios, it sounds like. It's a small system with ports to the net, too. But I love it – it's the only place I've ever lived."
"Really? We've lived a couple of other places – even in the Supercomputer for a while, before Daemon."
"Dude – you lived in the Supercomputer?"
"Yeah!" he grinned. "It was high density – totally… alphanumeric! My older brother was going to the Academy while I lived there, and he used to get to visit us sometimes."
"Pixelacious! Is that why you wanna be a Guardian?"
"Yeah. He was a great brother, and being a Guardian seemed like the coolest thing ever. But then Daemon came while he was a third-hour and now he's… Infected. You know. And I haven't seen him for hours."
"Dude – that crashes…"
"Yeah." He sighed. "I wanna fight Daemon – I wanna delete her myself! This seemed liked the best way to do it. My Mom and my brother Dex didn't want me to come – but I had to. You know what I mean?"
"Yeah." I nodded. "Definitely. Is Dex a Guardian too?"
"Nope. He works in the research archives with my Mom."
"Got any other brothers or anything?"
"Nope – just my Mom and Dad. How 'bout you?"
"Just my big sister Dot." How could I explain Matrix – and not make the whole thing sound totally weird? "And she and Bob have a kid now – Mac! He's not even an hour old yet. I'm his uncle but that's just too weird – I think I'm more like his big brother, you know?"
"Yeah, I guess. So – how'd you end up here?"
I decided not to tell him about Laser – not yet, anyway. "Bob. Ever since Bob came to Mainframe this is all I ever wanted to do. Bob's totally the best. I don't think Dot really wanted me to come either – but she let me."
"Moms are like that." Linux grinned.
Yeah – I guess!" I grinned back. "Dot is – high density. Definitely."
"Well, that's cool." He looked down, like he was a little embarrassed. "Actually, I was kinda glad to see you."
Now I was puzzled. "Why?"
He looked up. "I didn't exactly know what to expect. I wasn't really sure there were gonna be any kids smaller than me here."
That hurt – a lot – even though I don't really think he meant it to. I looked away, towards my bed. "Oh."
"No offense! I was just… Worried, I guess. I knew most of the cadets were older than us. How old are you, anyway?"
I almost didn't answer him, but I knew that would make me look totally basic. "I'm 1.3."
"Really? Wow! I mean – that's cool, that you made it in so young and everything."
"Yeah." I think he was sorry he'd said what he did now, but I was just thinking how there wasn't gonna be anyone I could look at and feel relieved that I was bigger and older. I was gonna be the one everybody else looked at and felt relieved. It was a very lonely feeling.
"I'm only 1.4 – so we're practically the same age."
"Yeah. Maybe."
"Don't worry – we'll do all right." I guess he knew he'd hit a sore spot and upset me and he was really trying to make me feel better, which made me sort of like him. Which did make me feel better – a little, anyway. "I'm not gonna be scared of anybody just 'cause they're bigger than I am – I was the littlest in my family anyway so I always had to fight for everything. You were too, right?"
"Sure." I looked back at him and smiled a little. I debated telling him right then and there that I wasn't just the only little kid in my family – I was the only one in the system. But at the last nano I chickened out. "I guess it really won't be any different that that, huh?"
"Naw –we'll kick ascii."
"Yeah – ascii!" I giggled. It was nice knowing I could swear without worrying about Dot getting on my case. "Besides – Bob has been training me since I was 1.0, so I think I can hold my own."
"Dude – really? He's been training you?"
"Yeah." Now I felt on my own turf again. "Mainframe's had a rough time – we almost got taken out by a virus. Megabyte - I hate him. Anyway – Bob invoked the emergency procedure and downloaded the protocols onto my icon when I was 1.0 and ever since then he's been taking me into games and training me and stuff."
"High density!" Linux gasped. I could tell he was impressed, but he also looked like he wasn't absolutely convinced. But my icon was Guardian – that much was indisputable. Linux had a sprite icon – he was gonna get the cadet protocols at indoctrination the next day.
"Yeah. And you wanna know a secret?"
"What?"
I leaned forward. "I've seen Daemon. Well – I've seen her infection, anyway."
"No way!"
"Uh huh. We've had infected games in Mainframe – I've been in two of them myself. Daemon took over the User somehow and corrupted the game codes. It was pretty scary."
"Crash! That's amazing!"
"Yeah." I nodded.
"Jeez – you could be a second-hour, practically. Will you help me out if I start to fall behind and stuff?"
"Sure!" I started to feel a little guilty about bragging, especially since Linux had really tried to make me feel better before. "But it's still gonna be pretty tough dealing with all those older cadets. I hear most of the first-hours are about 1.6."
"Yeah. Gonna be tough."
"We'll do OK, I bet." I grinned.
"Sure. Um… So – when did you get here, anyways?"
"Last cycle."
"Cool. Have you, uh, seen any cute girls yet?"
"Girls?" I could feel myself blushing again. "Maybe. One or two."
"Yeah?" His eyes got wide. "I'll bet there are gonna be a lot of them. Cute girls."
"I dunno. Maybe…"
"Do you have a girlfriend in Mainframe?"
"Uh… No. Definitely not. Do… Do you? In Helios I mean?"
"No." he sighed. "Not yet."
"Well, that's OK. So if you get a girlfriend here, you don't have to feel guilty or anything!" I was proud of myself for thinking of that – it almost sounded cool.
Linux laughed and blushed a little. Good to know I wasn't the only one who did that. "Yeah – maybe!"
"Cool! Uh – can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Do you know what a 'panty-raid' is?"
He frowned. "Nuh-uh. It sounds kinda dirty, though."
"Yeah – that's what I thought."
"But cool, maybe. What is it?"
I smiled. "I don't know. I was hoping you could tell me. Maybe we'll find out…"
"Yeah." He looked across at my stuff. "I saw your guitar – do you play?"
"Um… Not really. I can play a few chords and stuff but that's it. Bob can play really alphanumeric, though – he's teaching me."
"Crash! Is there anything he can't do?"
I laughed. "Stick to a schedule. Cook. Clean out the sink after he shaves. That's what Dot says anyway. Other than that, pretty much anything."
"Alphanumeric." Linux grinned. Maybe it hadn't been strike one after all.
"So – you like, just got here? Have you seen the campus and everything?"
"Not really. I just checked in at the office and they brought me over here."
"There's this awesome path – it goes all around the campus, up on the hill, and loops around back to the main building. It goes by everything – even the girls' dorm. You want me to show you around?"
"Yeah! That'd be great. Thanks, Enzo."
"No worries." I grinned. I was glad Bob brought me two cycles early – it almost made me seem like a veteran.
It was a pretty amazing feeling walking around the campus with Linux – another kid, almost my age, right there next to me. Almost surreal. I'd sat and talked to him – and I'd actually liked it! He seemed to like me OK – he didn't seem to think I was a dork, or weird, or a baby. A freak. In fact talking to him had almost been better than talking to the others in a way, because he'd gotten what I was talking about right away when sometimes somebody older just wouldn't. It was alphanumeric! Were we friends? I suppose it was possible.
It felt like one hurdle cleared - that was definite. I'd actually talked to another kid and survived, and my roommate hadn't turned out to be a null. Of course I hadn't really had to deal with any big kids yet – Linux was basically little, like me. And he was a guy – which meant that I still had the big hurdle out there waiting for me, the one that was hovering over my processor like a virus. I still had to talk to a girl. An actual girl, not like AndrAIa but a real girl and User, was I terrified about that.
But at that nano I managed not to worry about it too much – hanging out with Linux was actually fun. I showed him around the campus, which was much busier than it had been the cycle before. Most of the cadets had arrived or were arriving, and they were walking around the campus, getting familiar with it or getting re-acquainted. Some of them were in dress blues, some of them in casual stuff. Almost all of them were bigger than Linux, and all of them were bigger than me.
Linux and I didn't stop and talk to anybody – I guess we were both feeling a little shy. Naturally a lot of the cadets we saw were girls, and I was amazed at the variety of girls there were. All different shapes and sizes. Fascinating shapes. Like I said we didn't talk to them – I just hoped it wasn't too obvious I was staring and that my face didn't give away what I was thinking. Sometimes I'd catch myself wandering off, though – just looking at one of them and being totally hypnotized by how bizarre and wonderful it was to be looking at them.
We were almost back at the dorm when a vidwindow opened up and Bob was there, grinning at us. "Hey, you two – having fun?"
"Yeah." I smiled. "What're you up to?"
"Boring stuff. I'm helping Laser out with logistics and he's briefing me on what to expect for my class. What about you guys?"
"Just walking around and talking."
"Yeah?" Bob grinned and me and saw me smiling back and he looked totally happy at that nano. "Sounds like fun. Listen – you think you can scrounge your own dinner tonight? This stuff with Laser could drag on for a while."
"Really? But-"
"Mess hall's open – They serve dinner at twenty-four hundred. Why don't you and Linux eat there and I'll meet you back at your room after? We can go out for a sundae or something."
"Yeah – sure." I was back to missing Bob again, just from talking to him for a nano I was thinking how he'd be leaving soon. "No problem."
"Sounds like a plan. I'll see you kids at the dorm."
"Bye, Bob."
"He's awesome."
I looked over at Linux and smiled. "Yeah – he's amazing."
"I wish my Dad would talk to me like that."
"Like what?"
"You know – just regular. Like we were friends or something."
"Oh." I sensed maybe there was something deeper there, but I didn't know Linux well enough to be sure. "Well – we are friends, in a way. But he's like my Dad, too. It's hard to describe…"
"Do… Do you remember your real Dad at all?"
I shrugged. "A little. He worked in the science archive, like your Mom. I was so young when he died that I hardly remember him."
"How'd he delete?"
"Uh…" I wrestled with myself inside for a nano. "I kinda don't like to talk about it. It was pretty bad."
"Sorry!"
"No big deal." I punched him on the shoulder to let him know I wasn't mad. "Thanks. Like I said, Bob is like my Dad now. I don't see how anybody could be a better Dad than Bob's been for me. He's the best."
"That's high density." We were standing in front of the elevators now. "So – you wanna access something to eat? I'm dying!"
I checked my internal clock. "Yeah – I guess the mess hall is open. I'm pretty hungry too." I usually was, and it had been a pretty big cycle what with the Pixels and meeting Linux and all the walking and stuff.
"You wanna eat here or the one in the Great Hall?"
"Great Hall? There's a mess in the Great Hall?"
"Sure – one in each dorm, one in the Great Hall. Didn't you access the readme file?"
I blushed again. "I got distracted. Where do you wanna go?" I know what I was thinking – if we ate in the Great Hall there'd be girls there, and we might end up talking to one. All of a sudden I wasn't quite as hungry.
"Here, I guess."
"Yeah – OK." Relieved and a little disappointed.
The mess in the boys' dorm wasn't anything special to look at. There were four long tables with benches – mostly empty at the nano we arrived – and that was about it for furniture. There was a counter on the far end of the room, and you could see the kitchen on the other side of it. There was a vidwindow showing what kind of food and stuff they had that cycle. And one old lady binome behind the counter serving the stuff up. Probably a local, I guess.
Linux and I grabbed a tray and I ordered some lasagna and garlic bread, and she handed me a salad too which I guess came with it because adults are always trying to get kids to eat stuff like that. I grabbed an energy shake and waited for Linux and once he had his food, we turned around and started thinking about where we were gonna sit.
Like I said most of the tables were pretty empty, so it's not like we were gonna have to squeeze in anywhere. I don't think either one of us wanted to say it but I think we were both debating whether we wanted to try and talk to anybody else or not. I'd have been just as happy with not – it's like I'd expanded my safety bubble just a little to include Linux and that was good enough for now – but Linux pointed to a little knot of kids that didn't look too hairy and grown up and said "Let's sit there." and took off without waiting for me to answer. I wasn't about to eat by myself, so I gulped a couple of times and followed him.
Before we sat down a couple more kids joined them, on the other side. We sat down next to the group – five boys. I call them 'boys' but I'm a boy, and up close a couple of them – the new ones - didn't look like the same species of sprite as me. They looked very, very adult – one of them even had a little stubble on his face. The other three were more like me and Linux – kids. They looked like they might be 1.5, 1.6 - I didn't really feel too confident guessing. The three younger kids were in uniform and the older two were in sweats.
I nodded in the direction of the others, and a couple of them nodded back and smiled. I was debating whether I should say something or not, so I'd started in on my salad to stall for time, when Linux spoke up. "So – you guys second-hours?"
"I am." Stubble-face said. He pointed at the other kid in sweats. "Zip too. These guys are all first-hours – you can tell 'cause they're wearing the uniform on a free cycle!" The two older guys laughed and I giggled nervously.
"I'm Linux – this is Enzo, my roommate." I had to hand it to him – he was trying to fit in a lot quicker than I had.
"Hey." I said, and raised my hand in a little wave. One of the younger kids said 'Hey' back and the others nodded a greeting.
"I'm Quantum – this is Zip." Stubble-face said without smiling. "You're the kid that came in with Guardian 452, aren't you?"
"Um… Yeah." I wasn't sure where this might be going, but it scared me a little to be the center of the big kids' attention. "How'd ya know?"
"Word gets around." Quantum smiled.
"Who's Guardian 452?" one of the younger boys asked.
"Kids!" Zip cackled.
"He's kind of a legend around here." Quantum continued. "Is he your Dad?"
"Sot of. My Dad's deleted, but Bob helps look after me back home."
"Sorry, Kid. But you're pretty lucky. How old are you?"
That seemed to be a popular question around here when people got a look at me. "I'm 1.3. But Bob downloaded the protocols when I was 1.0." I knew as soon as I said it that it was risky – I didn't want to come off like I was bragging to a bunch of big kids who'd take it as a challenge.
"Youngest kid I've seen here." Zip said thoughtfully. "But I guess when you're in with a legend that doesn't matter."
"I-" I started to jab back at him, but I knew it'd be a mistake. It was too early to make enemies in a place when you didn't have any friends yet. "Yeah – maybe. I know I wouldn't be here if Bob hadn't been helping me. But I wouldn't even want to be a Guardian if it wasn't for Bob, so that's OK."
Quantum seemed to approve of that answer – he nodded thoughtfully. The three younger kids were sitting quietly, not wanting to step on the seconds' conversation. "What about you, Kid? What's your story?" Zip asked Linux. I took the opportunity to start wolfing down my lasagna.
"I'm from Helios. My brother was a third-hour when the Collective was infected, and ever since I found out the Academy was open again I've wanted to come."
"That's cool." Quantum nodded. He shot his arm out and wrapped one of the younger guys in a headlock, and I almost dropped my fork. The kid protested but Quantum just grinned. "This pathetic runt is my brother Rom – the others don't matter. They're just sprouts."
I finally did drop my fork. "They're what?"
"Sprouts. First-hours. Mama's boys. What's eating you?"
"Nothing, I… It's just that my… My friend, Matrix – he calls me 'Sprout'. I don't think he has any idea they use it here, though. That's pretty random."
"Yeah, that's weird. He's never been to the Academy?"
"No. He-" Again, how to explain Matrix - and me, for that matter - without it seeming really weird? I let it go. "No, he never has. Just a coincidence."
"Yeah – I guess." He finally let his brother go, and the kid punched him on the shoulder but Quantum just laughed. "You guys stay out of trouble and you'll do all right."
"Thanks." Linux smiled. "We'll try."
I picked up my fork and started in on the food again. It really wasn't bad – it wasn't Dot's, but it was filling and it tasted OK. Especially the garlic bread – I love garlic bread. But just when I was really getting into a zone I dropped my fork again because all of a sudden I couldn't see. Someone's hands were covering my eyes. I started to bounce out of my chair but their elbows were on my shoulders and I couldn't stand up. "Guess who this is."
"Mouse?" I squeaked.
"Looks like they'll let just about anyone in here these cycles!" She let me go and straddled the bench next to me, grinning. "A little baud told me I might find you here. How ya doin', Pumpkin?"
"Good!" I hadn't seen Mouse for ages – not since she'd been to Mainframe when I was 1.1. I beamed – it was good to see another friendly face. She looked exactly the same. "How was – Uh… How was your trip?"
She winked. "Good Sugar, real good. User, you've grown! I hardly recognize you." She pinched my cheek, which I could have processed without.
"Yeah, I guess."
"See you've hooked up with Quantum already – he's trouble." She chuckled and shook her head in his direction. "How you doin', Honey?"
"Fine, Mouse." I guess Mouse didn't care for a 'Miss' or anything like that.
"Stayin' out of trouble?"
"I haven't even been back a cycle yet!"
"Good point." She turned to Zip and her face hardened a little. "Mister Zip. Back to torture us for another semester, huh?"
"Thank you, Mouse. I'm looking forward to your class very much."
"I'm sure ya are, Sugar." Mouse sighed. "The rest of you I don't recognize. Is one of you Enzo's roommate?"
Linux raised his hand. "Me, Ma'am."
Mouse narrowed her eyes. "Honey, I know yer a Sprout and all… But if y'all want to live to see another cycle you won't call me that again. Think you can manage that?"
I just barely avoided laughing at the terrified expression on Linux' face. "Uh… S-s-sorry Ma – Mouse! I'm very sorry."
Mouse threw her head back and laughed. "It's a joke, Son! But just call me Mouse from now on, OK?"
Linux smiled tentatively. "Sure. Mouse, right. Sorry!"
She shook her head and winked at me. "All you new guys, welcome. Don't let me catch you getting' into trouble, all right? And watch out for these two."
"Mouse!" Quantum gasped.
"Save it, Hotshot. And use a blade next time, hear me?" She turned to me. "User, it's good to see ya again, Pumpkin. You relax and try to have fun, OK? There's a lot of fun to be had around here."
"I will Mouse." I grinned. "Thanks. It's good to see you, too."
She patted my cheek. "This is a good kid, y'all. A good kid." She bounced up from the table. "See you boys in the trenches. Stay away from the jello – it'll get ya every time." She grinned back at us once and breezed out of the hall.
"Wow!" Linux whispered. He was looking at me with a sort of awed expression.
"You know Mouse, huh?" Quantum asked.
"You've just got all sorts of friends around here, don't you?" Zip said softly.
I looked at Zip nervously and back at Quantum. "Er… Yeah. She helped us out when Mainframe was under viral attack."
"What does she teach?" One of the younger kids said in an awed whisper.
"Hacking. Both kinds." Quantum made a chopping motion in the air.
"Wouldn't want to meet her in a dark drive bay…"
Quantum was staring at me thoughtfully. I shrugged and smiled, and tried to turn my attention back to my food. The rest of the meal passed without much conversation, but I was feeling distinctly uneasy.
Linux didn't talk to me too much as we took the elevator upstairs and settled back into our room. I felt bad – I thought we were starting to be friends but it seemed like he felt weird about everybody knowing who Bob was and about me knowing Mouse. The idea of having a friend was so great that I couldn't deal with the possibility of losing him already. I just wanted so much for him to like me.
We were sitting on our beds, just relaxing. I finally accessed the readme file and figured out where my bitmap was supposed to be and when, and I looked up and caught him staring at me. I smiled the friendliest smile I could. "Hope Mouse didn't freak you out too much."
"No – she's OK." He said dubiously.
"She really is! She's just like a family friend, that's all. She gave me my surfboard, actually. She can be pretty scary if she doesn't like you, but she's great to have on your side. I haven't seen her in forever."
"Sure." He nodded. "She's pretty- well…"
"Yeah. Boy, those guys were big, huh? Quantum looks old enough to be a teacher! Kinda scary."
"A little."
"I guess it'll be OK." I just wanted him to forget about Mouse and Bob and for us to be little kids again – us against all the big people. Teammates. "I heard Laser was the youngest cadet when he went to the Academy."
"Really?"
"Yeah. And he's done pretty good. So we can handle it."
He smiled tentatively. "I guess. I wish I had all the experience with this stuff that you do."
"I haven't ever been through anything like this. I've never even been away from home before. That's why I'm glad I got a cool roommate – having to live with a jerk for the whole hour would've been totally scraggy."
"Sure. No problem." I could see him relaxing now – I think deep down he needed me as a friend almost as much as I needed him. "I've been away before, for a few cycles. It's tough, but you'll get used to it."
"Really? Thanks! I hope so." I grinned. "Let's promise to help each other out as long as we're here, OK? So we don't have to deal with stuff by ourselves. Promise?"
"Sure, Enzo – promise. Good idea."
"High density!"
"Alphanumeric."
I was pretty relieved – we were OK. I felt really glad to have him around all of a sudden. "You want me to teach you a couple chords on the guitar?"
"Yeah! That'd be cool."
I got out the guitar and cranked up the amp a little. It's easier to fake it on electric than acoustic, but I wasn't sure how good the soundproofing was and I didn't want to get us in trouble. I really only know like four chords, and I can almost play the intro to one song. Not very impressive. But we were having fun just goofing around and I had managed to teach him a "G" when Bob walked in on us.
"Well – here's a couple of likely lads if I've ever seen 'em!" he grinned.
"Hey, Bob!"
"Hey back, Tiger." He sat next to me and tousled my hair. "Hi Linux- how's your first cycle going so far? Having fun?"
"Yes Sir." I could tell Linux was a little nervous around Bob after the conversation in the mess hall, but Bob wasn't having any of it.
"Please don't call me that! My name's Bob. OK?"
"I'm having trouble with names today." Linux sighed. "Sorry, Bob."
"NP, Kiddo." Bob laughed and frazzed up Linux' hair a little bit and he laughed too. Bob is amazing – he knew Linux was my friend now, so just like that he was Bob's friend too. That's just how Bob is. "Enzo teaching you mastery of the guitar?"
"Not hardly. I just about managed to show him a "G" chord and I'm tapped out."
"LOL! You're always so hard on yourself, Tiger."
"Play us something?"
"You won't learn by listening to me play, Enzo. The only way to learn is to practice."
"C'mon – please?"
"Yeah!" Linux piped up. "Play something, please?"
"Sheesh! I'm outvoted." Bob sighed. "All right, hand me that thing and I'll figure something out."
"Pixelacious! Thanks, Bob."
"No problem." He plucked a couple strings tentatively and arched his eyebrows in surprise. "You tuned it already?"
"Uh – yeah."
"Good job! You did it perfect, too." He winked at me and hammered out a quick progression. "What'll it be? Something slow again?"
I was in a very different kind of mood than I'd been the night before. "Naw – something fast. And electric. Rock out!"
"I'll get you boys kicked out of here your first cycle!"
"Naw – it'll be cool. C'mon!"
He laughed and shook his head. "All right. But I'm not turning it up to eleven. Ready?" Linux and I nodded. "Remember, you asked for it."
He started out on the intro and it was kinda slow, just a chord progression. Then he launched into a solo and I recognized the tune. Crash, it was awesome! I swear I could see smoke rising off the strings but Bob just sat there and grinned like a little kid which was OK, because that's what Linux and I were doing too.
He played about a thirty nano solo that was totally pixelacious, and then went back into the chord progression again. He sucked in a big breath, and that's when I realized he was gonna sing…
In a white room
With black curtains,
Near the station
Blackroof country
No gold pavements
Tired starlings…
I love Bob – he's more than a father to me. And he's an incredible guitar player – all the time he was singing he kept working that axe till I thought his fingers would bleed. But there's no nice way to say it – he's an absolutely horrifying singer.
I'll wait in this place, where the sun never shines
Wait in this place where the shadows run from themselves
Never mind the fact that I had no clue what the words meant – "White Room" is like that. But Bob's voice – it sounds like a thousand nulls being tortured by Mike the TV. It's not pretty. I looked over at Linux and he was just staring, with his mouth open. Bob was oblivious – his eyes were squeezed shut tight, and he was selling that song like he owned it.
Something about the whole picture was too much – I lost it totally. I started laughing and I couldn't stop – eventually I fell down on the floor and grabbed my sides. I was sure I was gonna break a rib.
Linux looked at me and I could see he was fighting it. Finally he couldn't hold back and started giggling too, and in a few nanos he was laughing as hard as I was. We were both laughing so hard we drowned out Bob's voice and even he heard us. I thought I was gonna pee my pants for a nano.
Poor Bob – he stopped singing and sat there, looking hurt. "Fine – this is the thanks I get for sharing my gift with you…"
"I'm s-s-sorry, Bob!" It was hard to talk yet. "I…I-"
"Save it for the jury, Kid. After I break your neck…"
"Sorry!" I choked down my laughter as well as I could and wiped my eyes. "You… You… Really shouldn't sing. I'm s-sorry!"
Bob smiled ruefully and looked at Linux. "What about you, Pal? What'd you think?"
Linux looked like he just swallowed an undo command. He stammered for a nano, shifting all around like his pants were too tight. "I… Uh… I think you're a really great guitar player."
I lost it again after that, and even Bob laughed a little bit. "Maybe you're in the wrong school, Kid – you should be in the diplomatic corps." He grinned down at me. "We can't all be gifted with a sweet voice, can we? Maybe Enzo would like to sing for us?"
"NO!" I bounced to my feet. That was definitely not gonna happen.
"Enzo sings?" Linux giggled.
"Like an angel."
"No – I don't! Just end file. I don't sing."
"My mistake." Bob said dryly.
"Dude – that was too funny! You guys crack me up!"
"Thanks a lot." I sighed. I sat back down on the bed and all three of us were together, Bob in between Linux and me.
"How about a compromise? We sing one together?"
"Jeez, Bob-"
"I think it'd be fun. But I don't know very many songs."
"That's cool Linux. Let me see…" Bob drummed his fingers on the neck of the guitar. "Since you guys are determined to act like 1.1 hour olds, maybe we should sing a song written by one!"
"Huh?"
"Don't worry – just play along, you'll pick it up. This one was very popular with the kids in my grammar school in the Supercomputer."
"Dude – it's that old?"
"Just keep it up, Enzo." Bob muttered. He turned off the amp and started picking out a nice acoustic riff. He started to sing again, but he didn't have to drown out the amp this time so that wasn't so bad.
Old Ben Lucas
Had a lot o' mucous
Comin' right out of his nose;
He picked and picked
Till it made you sick
But back again it grows!
"Dude – that's disgusting!" Linux howled. I just laughed. I'd never heard a song like that come out of an adult's mouth before. But this was Bob…
When it's cotton picking time in Texas,
Boys, it's booger picking time for Ben.
He'd raise that finger mean and hostile
Stick it in that waitin' nostril,
Here he comes with a green one once again.
Linux and I were keeping up a pretty steady roar of laughter through the whole song, and Bob had a huge null-eating grin on his face as he sang. I was pretty sure I was gonna injure myself, I'd been laughing so much. "Come on, you two – everybody now. One more time!"
Old Ben Lucas
Had a lot o' mucous
Comin' right out of his nose;
He picked and picked
Till it made you sick
But back again it grows!
We joined him on the last chorus, and Linux' voice was almost as bad as Bob's. But with that kinda song it didn't matter. Bob strummed out the finale and Linux and I both fell back on the bed.
"Yeah, I figured that one was about the right intellectual level for the room. Don't forget to tip your waitresses, now! Thank you very much."
"You're welcome!" I sputtered.
Linux wiped his eyes. "I… I didn't know Guardians did stuff like that." Our eyes met and we both started howling again.
"We do on our cycles off. I'm glad to know Enzo is developing such a refined taste in music. Dot will be so proud…"
"End file! You're the one who played it!" I punched him and he playfully grabbed me around the neck.
"Bob, you're totally high density."
"Thanks, Linux." Bob grinned at him and Linux looked like the happiest kid in the net. "You guys have a big cycle tomorrow – first cycle of classes. Think I'll haul my bitmap over to the staff building and leave you to it. Gotta get to bed soon."
"Really? Can't you stay awhile, please?"
"Better not, Enzo. You guys need to start getting yourself organized and I'll just be in the way."
"OK." I sighed. Bob got up and put the guitar away. Playtime was over. "I… Will I see you tomorrow?"
"Of course! I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye! I'll meet you after classes and we'll have dinner and talk about it. Might even sit in on a class."
"Cool! Thanks."
"Probably go home after that. Think that'll be OK, Tiger?"
That was a sock to the gut, even though it was pretty much what we'd talked about. "Sure – I guess. I'll be OK."
"I know you will." He grinned. "Don't worry about it – you guys will do fine. This is gonna be the best experience of your lives – I promise. I'll see you tomorrow, all right?"
"Yeah. See ya tomorrow."
"Come on." He held his arms out and I went over and he gave me a hug. I was a little embarrassed, but it wasn't too bad. "Sleep well, OK? Tomorrow's your big cycle – what you've been working for. I'm proud of you."
"Thanks." I hugged him back as hard as I could. "I'll see you after classes."
"You got it." He pounded my back a couple times and straightened up. "Linux – I'll probably see you tomorrow, too. You have a good first cycle, OK?"
"I'll try. Thanks, Bob."
"Night, Boys. Stay out of trouble." He gathered up his stuff and winked at us, then he was gone.
"Wow. He is amazingly cool."
"Yeah. He's pixelacious." I was totally proud to have Bob as a friend right then.
Linux sat down on his bed and sighed. "Guess I'll start getting ready. Don't want to screw up tomorrow and be in the wrong place at the wrong time."
"I guess." Playtime was over. As of the next cycle I was officially a cadet at Guardian Academy. It was so scary, so exhilarating that I could barely get my brain around it.
"Indoctrination is at eight-hundred. What time you wanna get up? We gotta shower and get breakfast and everything."
"Uh…" I thought about that for a nano. I went over and grabbed some stuff from on top of my dresser. "I think I'll shower now."
"What? Why?"
"It'll be better – no crowds in there. Plus it'll save time in the morning. Besides, I didn't shower this morning so I feel kinda stinky."
"Oh. Whatever." He picked up his organizer and lay back in bed. "See ya in a few, then."
"Yup." I took my stuff – making sure I had my icon – and headed off down the hall. The showers were only two doors down from our room and when I went in my worst fears were confirmed – no doors on the shower stalls and no changing rooms. Just one big locker area. Crash. Well, taking showers at night was just gonna be a regular routine, that's all.
When I got back I climbed into bed and studied the readme file for a little while, just making sure I knew all the big stuff. Linux was doing the same thing and neither of us said much of anything. I guess we both had plenty of our own thoughts to keep us busy.
I was scared – I'm not ashamed to admit it. I was a little kid and I was getting ready to face a big challenge. I knew there were gonna be a lot of other kids who didn't think I belonged there, who thought I was too young and too small and too basic. Deep down I felt like I could cut it – I felt Bob's trust and belief holding my confidence up. But until I actually did it there was always gonna be a little doubt in my processor. Maybe even more than a little.
I set my organizer down and deleted my light, and a few nanos later Linux did the same. We lay there in the dark for a while and listened to each other breathing. I was the first one to say anything. "Linux?"
"Yeah?"
"You nervous?"
A nano of silence. "Yeah. You?"
"Yeah." I felt a little better, knowing it wasn't just me. "You really think we can do it?"
"I hope so."
"Yeah." There wasn't much else to say. When everything was processed both of us were gonna have to face it alone and do the best we could. I just hoped Linux would be there for me on the bad cycles. "Night."
"Night, Enzo."
I lay there for a long time, thinking about why I was here, what it meant to me. I thought about Bob and Dot and Matrix, about everything I was giving up to come to the Academy. I had them behind me, but when everything was processed it was up to me. I wanted to make them proud – I wanted it so badly I could feel it inside me. It was about me, but it was about them, too – and everything they'd done to help me, to get me to that point. They'd given up a lot to get me where I was. I wanted to do it - I had to do it, for them. They believed in me and I wasn't gonna let them down. And that was the thought I took with me when I finally drifted off.